HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Wednesday has assumed new importance as a day."
Yes, it separates our week
ends."
He: Would you like a amall diamond or a large rhinestone?"
She: "Yes, I'd love them, George."
Teacher: Light travels far faster than sound."
Willie: Not at some of the talkies, Teacher."
3.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER
SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN LOOKING FOR THE SCISSORS By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
"I wonder," mused the throwd milkman, as he added a fourteenth bottle.to the thirteen ulready on the porch," whether it is possible these people can be out of town 1":
The pool and the art critic were sitting gazing into the fire." Do you ever see pictares in the fire " asked the poet. No," replied the critic. "But I see many that should be there."
The election candidate was mak
"The speaker seems to weighing a long and boustful speech, for every word before he speaks,"
But you could never accuse him of giving short weight.
"That scene where the leading lady becomes repentant and weeps! could stand cutting: it's too long,
Yes to much slow emetion."
Counsel: "Don't giggle at everything I say, Don't you know what a court of law is for 1"
Witness: "Yes, it's a place where they dispense with justice."
"Why haven't y. creased your trousers!" said the sergeant-ma- jur.
I put them under my mattress, but I'm such a light sleeper."
"Mummy, which frock shall I wear for the party
"I don't know," dear. see which is the cleanest."
I must
**Will you find out now, Mummy, cos 1 want to know whether to wash for a square neck or a round one."
2.
Magistrate (severely); "The idea of a man your size beating a weak little woman like that?"
Prisoner: "But, your worship, she keeps irritating me all the time."
Magistrate: How does she irritate you?"
Prisoner Why, she keeps say, ing, Hit me! Beat me Lay your hands on me once, and I'll have you up before that bald-headed old reprobate of a magistrate and see what he'll do to you."-
The accused was discharged.
modesty was not his chief virtue.
I always throw myself into any-
ho declared. thing I undertake,' "Then why not dig a well!" came a voice from the back of the hall.
a giri against her will, and dur A man was charged with kissing ing the proceedings the girl went into the box.
"You say," said counsel for the defence, that my client took you by surprise, and that you gave him no encouragement;"
* I do," "replied the girl. "Doesn't it strike you
怨息
strange that he should have manag- ed to kiss you as you were unwil ling added counsel. "Look at my client, and then consider your own height. Why, you must be nearly a foot taller than he is."
'Well, what of it?" retorted the I can stoop, can't 1 girl.
4.
WRAPS UP BUNDLE OF JUNIOR'S OUTGROWN -- CLOTHES TO SEND TO COUSIN ELLA FOR LITTLE · LENGTH BIRST. FISHES ALBERT
FOR POCKET-KNIFE ®
THINKS HE CAN TË FIRM- ER KNOT IF HE CUTS STRING TO PROPER
ATTEMPTS TD BREAK STRING WITH FINGERS, BUT MANAGES ONLY TO WOUND FINGER
GUYPS FWILLIAMS
HOBBLES ROUND ROOM 100NING FOR SCISSORS!" CLUTCHING BUNDLE WITH ONE HAND, WHILE NURS- ING WOUNDED FINGER
(Cepyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicats, Inc.)
SPORT
REMEMBERS 'HE LEFT
ARMS BEGIN TO GET A
IT DOWN CELLAR. CALLS" LITTLE TIRED OF HOLD- WHERE ARE THE ING BUNDLE, WHILE
SCISSORS ?
FAMILY UPSTAIRS TRIES TO REMEMBER WHERE SCISSORS ARE
DISCOVERS THAT HE'S DRAGGING THE BALL OF STRING ROUND AND THAT IT'S GETTING ENTANGLED WITH THE FURNITURE
.FINDS SCISSORS ON
MANTELPIECĒ JUST AS HE LOSES, HIS HOLD ONÍ STRING. STARTS ALL
OVER AGAIN
8-171
AND ATHLETICS.
12, 1929.
He was a cautious. young man and a firm believer in eugenics, but when he met the dector's lovely daughter he fell in love with her, and finally threw discretion to the winds and asked her to marry him. She accepted him and hé was in the seventh heaven all the ever- PASCOE WINS THE SOUTHERN NEXT YEAR'S CHAMPIONSHIP LONDON SCOTS DEFEAT UÏVIL
ing
W
The doctor looked at him grave- ly over his glasses.
MUTAE. "
DATES.
SERVICE
Other results are:-
Next morning, however, his na-
The annual bowls match between E. W. Pascue (Plaistow United) At a meeting of the Council of tural caution returned, and he called upon her father.
won the Southern Counties mile the Amateur Boxing Association the London Scottish and Civil Ser vice Bowls Association, was played "Oh, doctor!" he said, "your-swimming championship for the the dates of several coming cham-
at Chiswick, and again won by the The your daughter has promised to fourth consecutive time at Gosport pionships and other fixtures were inarry me. I-I-wanted to know Baths, when he cosily beat E. H. approved. These were the N.E. Scots, who scored 122 to 110. that is to say I came to ask if Hammer (Waddon Croydon), C. London Divisional Championships to score at five ends was 26 all, but there is anyer-insanity in your Rogers (Cosport), and M. J. Hail be held on March 19, and the N.Wat ten, the Scots led 58-52, and at family."
(Metropolitan Police).
Division a day later; the Imperial fifteen, by 92-71. Pascoe, swimming easily, was not Services B.A. Amateur Champion- seriously challenged at any part of ships on March 27, and matches be- the distance, and won by 120 yards tween that body and the Police and in 94mins. 30.3-3secs. His time is Denmark on November 6 and De a record for the event, the previous cember 12 respectively; the Army best being 24mins 43secs. by H. E. Individual Championshies on Marsh
Hammer's time 0, and the Territorial Army Cham was 25mins, 33.4-5secs., and Rogers pionships on March 12 and 13. The returned 26mins.
annual general meeting of the A.B.A. will be held on Saturday, September 28, probably at the Stadium: Club,
"There must be," he said.
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
2
4
16
7 3
10
112
W
19
24
**
28
14
12 22
26
£7
130
31
52
35
36
137
38.39
40
42
143 144
145
146
48
49
50
15)
52
55
56 57
61
162
15
Horizontal.
1. Afternoon party.
4.-Therefore..
6. Twig,
11.-A nut.
13.-Ached,
13.-To-leave.
16. Most mournful.
18.-Negative. 10.-Italian river. 91.-Pétition.
42. Organs of hend
24.--Ray,
28. Measure of length.
-28.-Before.
29.-Attempt.
31. To precede.
33.-While.
34.-Snare.
36-Piece for two. 38.-Exists.
40.-Colloquial: to slap.
· 42.-Crude broom.
45.-Corded cloth.
47.--Ta hoil slowly.
49.—To defy. 30.-Part of cyc, 39.-Sailors.
54.--Symbol for radium.
55.-Symbol for silicon.
56-A recluse.
59.--Part of infinitive.
01.-Tying rope.
-63.--Consideratë.
66.--Burdens.
60.-Type measure. 87.-Poem.
Vertical.
1.Attachment. 2-Runa away. 3-Part of "to be" 1. Crisp cooky. 5-Surprisingly. 6.-Harpooned. 7.-Dance step. B-Ceremony. 0-Enclosed.
10. In biology: group. 12-Boné. 14-Oives medicine,
66
158
52.60
17.-To serve. 20.-Kiin.
23.-Pronoun. 24. To exist.
25.-Roman war god.'
27. To smear,
30-Steers wildly.
32-Land transfer document. .33.-Moves with quick light steps.
37.-Former Russian ruler. 38.-Pertaining to a European
country.
30.-Continued story. 41.-Pair of horses. 43.-Spoke in public. 44.-Pronoun. 40.-Jumbled type. 48.-To pen. 61-A stiff hair. 83.-Stalk. 57.—A colour. 58,-Half an omn, 60.--Mineral. $2.-Behold!
51.--To act.
This puzzle. took 3 minutes to solve. Soo how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
No.1438
20 BEELED
DEER ODE
DERIVE FLET (DINE BACK RIVE P3072 BONBOUT BROB LIG. KALDA BUL ANACONPORN- 80 BEMOTE HELDER ABODE 30128
Annison in 1920.
SCHOOLGIRLS' TEST. Miss A. MeOstrich (Queen's College) reached the final round. of the open singles in the schoolgirl's tournament at Queen's Club by 4 6-1, 6-1 victory over Miss M. Lumb (St. Bernard's). She will meet the
winner of the other semi-final be-
The Finance Committee consider ed the question of payment of com- petitors' travelling expenses for the champions, and it was recommend- ed to the Council that travelling and
hotel expenses should be paid for those who actually competed from the Midland, Northern, and Welsh
London Parka B.A.
Champion-
ship.-W. Barlow (North Green- wich) 21, W. Matthews (Camberwell Green Brotherhood) 17; E. Knowles (Springfield, Clapton) 21, . E. Dicker (Crown) 18; C. Barin (All Saints) 21, T. J. Dutfield (Victoria Park Park) 17; L. Machin (Pits- hanger) 21, H. Cornwell (Durants)
18.
Bruce
ૐ
WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS
WITH
LON CHANEY
"MYSTERIOUS DWARF¿WÄILE
IN CITY SLEEPS
Now
You have seen Chaney as a crook.
you see him as an arch-foe of crooks in one
of his most exciting performances.
AT THE
QUEEN'S
WILLIAM
BLUE SKIES
GORILLA MAN.
KILLED THIRTEEN
"WIVES."
CHEATED GALLOWS FOR TWENTY YEARS.
Paris. Section finals: Castle (Peak, Paskell) 27. Elm Grove (Norman Hoey) 13; Victoria Park (Brown, Dutfield) 5, Poplar (de Gruchy, Collins, holders) 14: Bishop's Park (Beilby, Hayward) 24 All Saints (Hooper, Gibson) 17: Vienna. The Hungarian "Blue- North Greenwich (Hoad Watson) 28. beard," Bela Kiss, who murdered
for a trainer and a manager for each 13.
team.
SURREY CHAMPIONS HAVE A
"
thirteen wives" before the war
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 8.20,
A love drama
that will lift you'
up
the heights of romance and leave
you between laughter
and tears.
AT THE
STAR
TO-DAY
TO SATURDAY
At 5.30 & 9.20.
↑ HUSBAND'S DREAD.
"NOT REALLY GOOD ENOUGH" FOR HIS WIFE.
They are the most remarkable letters I ever read," said the coro- ner, at a Southend inquest refer- ring to letters left by Bertam Parkins, aged twenty-six, a grocer, of High-street, Shoeburyness, who hanged himself. A verdict of
sanity" was returned.
tween Miss K. E. Robertson St Monica'a) and Miss O. Garrish Associations, together with expenses / St. Michael's (Bowden, Christmas), and outwitted the police of Europe "Suicide during temporary in- (Malvern). Misa P. G. Brasier (County High School, Worthing), who represented Sussex this year ji the women's inter-county champion- ship, and Miss J. Marquis (Sande- cotes) will contest the final of the under sixteen singles,
'VARSITIES DEFEAT.
The International L.T.C. of Great Britain beat Oxford and Cambridge (Past and Present) at Eastborune by 8 matches to 5.
KID BERG'S VICTORY. Kid Berg, the English light. weight, won the decision in a ten- round boat with Mushy Callahan at Ebbets Field. Callahan is re- cognised in America as the world's junior welterweight champion. Al Sioger, the New York light-weight, technical knock-out over Andre Routis at the same meeting.
won
1
BAD TIME.
for twenty years, has been identified in' the Rumanian prison of Arad, where he is serving a life sentenee for another's crimes in order to Balham, holders of the pairs, cscape the gallows for his own.
The story of this arch-swindler'a triples, and singles championships, terrible career recalls the adven Surrey risk championships, have tures of Landru, the French woman been beaten in the current com-murderer, who Kiss resembles in petitions, hte Balham triples, being appearance and in his method of the last to go, at the hands of a
Fantastic Tale.
.:
trip of club mates, skipped by B. disposing of his victims' bodies. Johnson, who won 15-13.
The fantastic tale beging more the than twenty years ago in Hungarian village of Einkota, near Budapest, where the dwarfed, bearded, gorilla-like man excited the interest and envy of his neigh- bours by his astonishing success with women.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
METAL AS A DECORATIVE MEDIUM.
ا عربي
Every month a fresh face would class in school, and there are many be seen at the window of the little occasions when a little timely help villa where Kiss lived and loved, from the mother will make an ap-but when asked how he managed to parently difficult problem quite hange his sweethearts so rapidly, Kiss would hit darkly that "wo- with and The exact meaning of a ques-men are difficult to get
and matter, "the tion, perhaps, is not at first quite get rid of,' apparent a word or two from Madonnas of the village have all
gone to the same place." mother will make it clear.
THE HOMEWORK HOUR. SHOULD PARENTS HELP!
mothers Some
consider
сдву. that children should not be helped with their home-work-that it only en- courages them to be lazy.
A child is not necessarily lazy or dull because it cannot grasp at once an explanation given to a
(Continued on next Column.) ..
In many of the newer ornaments, There is nothing fragile nor inde-squares and triangles of platinum, cisive about the current jewellery either polished or dull, serve to fashions, planned as they are by bring into sharp contrast the jagged craftsmen with a keen eye for colour surfaces presented by clusters of
jewels. and line,
In an emerald brooch, for exam-
Helping Themselves,
It was stated that Parkins was married last Easter,
He wrote to the coroffer: "No man on earth could have a more loving and faithful wife," and he stated in a letter to his wife :-
Better this than that you 'should be tied to a maniac for years, and that is what I should become if I lived. I have a kink in my mind, and now something has snapped. It is my cornest wish that you should not go in to mourning for me. I have known all along that I was not 'really good enough for you, and did not deserve the loving care and, devation you have alway's given me.
A letter had been addressed to Parkins' mother entreating her to look after his wife.
PLEA OF A LOYAL HUSBAND.
WIFE'S ARREST AFTER A SEPARATION,
"She has been parted from_ber husband, but he has come back to see her through this trouble," said A detective at Middlesex Sessions, when Mrs Alice Evans, aged twenty-four, was found guilty of: receiving frocks, the proceeds of thefts by motor thieves at Golders Green and Winchmore Hill.
A sum cannot be started because. Nothing was suspected until Kiss the principle involved is not unsold his house and disappeared. derstood; reference to a text-book A year later the new owner of or the child's class work will the house, who had decided to re- provide the answer, the actual build it, discovered in the founda working being done by the child tions, deep down in the earth, himself. If necessary, a similar thirteen iron chests securely locked.
"Robber's Papers, example can be worked out first.
Policemen who investigated; the The child should be encouraged mysterious find fainted with horror to look in dictionary or text-book when they opened the chests and be- Thus, a square brocch or link of and find for himself the meaning held the contents the bodies of of a foreign word, the mother thirteen brutally murdered young a bracelet will be made up of geo-helping only when occasion arises women. ple, that is shown in an exhibition metric forms composed alternately to show how it may be found. A cry for Justice rang through now being held in Paris, the de-of metal or solid masses of cut
In the case of an essay, the usual, Europe, and police were everywhere signer has used a single fat piece jewels. A score of small diamonds stumbling block is the difficulty of on the watch. But the chase drop of polished platinum, long and crowded into a solid rectangle, and finding the actual, facts round ped when it was falsely reported narrow, and bas cut it into strips
placed next to a plain square of which the essay is in be written, that Kiss had died in Africa from as a child would make a fringe with polished platinum, is more effective Mother can bring to mind a few malaria while serving with the scissors and paper.
than the gems would be if used in incidents that happened during Freach Foreign Legion under av. a scattered arrangement.
the last holidays or on a visit to astumed name. At the end of each of the four
Now it has been proved by identi- some show. strips hangs an emerald-and the One of the smartest evening
The whole object, in fact, shouldfication parades, handwriting tests, be to encourage the child to set and tattoo marke, that the inmate Bir Montagu Sharpe, KC., with brooch is complete. This is far, outfits seen in Paris, this setson perhaps, from the average concep owed its originality to a tiny chiffon and think for himself as much as of the Rumunian prison of Arad the remark that motor bandit offences were becoming far too com- tion of what a jewelled brooch ought collar that was fastened at the back possible. By this means be ex-stole the identity papers of a
jewelled to look like, yet it is more repre- of the neck with a pair
presses his own individuality in notorious robber chieftain, named mon, passed sentence of twelve. sentative of what the important studs linked together, the studs his work and gains confidence in Franz Wimmer, and is serving months imprisonment in the se- jewellery designers are doing to-day being shaped like a triangle blunted himself and in his ability to tackle another's life sentence to cecape cond division
the problem net,
the consequences of his own crimes. Mrs. Evans was removed weep- than any arrangement of elaborately at the points.
The first triangle showed a central
The mystery man is none other ing hysterically. cut stories."
spot of emeralds on a white diamond
than the "Bluebeard" of Hun- background, the second white dia
gary. Beln Kiss monds set in yellow.
*
+
There is a growing tendency to use. metal, especially platinum, as a decorative medium in itself, rather than just as a setting for 'gemi.
*(Continued un next Dolums.)
The chiffon collar was entirely in dependent, and with its gay brooch formed an unusual but very quaint and attractive jewelled necklace.
A little tact and patience on the part of the mother are required, hut the result is a deeper and fuller understanding of the child's When Wimmer, alias Kiss, was character and the knowledge that told he would be extradited for the homework hour may be made trial in Hungary, he went mad one of ..pleasure instead. of with fear. «
(Continued at fact of next column), drudgery.
It was stated that Mrs. Evans was the mother of three children. The husband aid that he was living with his wife again, and he pleaded with the chairman to ac copt him as surety for her future conduct.
"For the sake of the kiddies,"
Previous convictions were re- corded against Mrs. Evans, who asked for another offence, to be taken into consideration.
he cried.
འ
He succeeded in escaping from bir cell, but was recaptured. Then the attempted suicide by cutting an artery with chains, and is now in the prison hospital, closely guarded.