HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Mistress to Maid: "Haven't we always treated you like one of the family
Maid: Yes, and I can't stand it any longer!!!
"I say, Brown, I want you to meet Johnson."
"But I know Johnson. We used to read my evening paper together on the four forty-five."
་་
The other day a lady got on the Washington Street trolley car with a gont. The conductor said: “ Ma dein, you can't ride in this car with that gont."
21
The lady answered: "I don't intend to. I want to pay the gont's fare and get out and walk myself."
"
"John," said she, it is too hot" to play golf to-day
Oh no. it isn't," he declared,
This the road to Coolan- this weather is grand." gaboo ?"
4
Oh, good! I'm glad you think
I was afraid to ask you to eus the lawn, but, if you don't mind the hent. I recommend you get busy with that mower right now!"
"Keep on the way yer 'endin', I to. an' if yer come to & ill with a church on it, you'll know. yes took the wrong turn.'
First Mate (to youthful deck! handy" Well, I suppose it's just the old case of the wayward one in the family seeking the sea."
Lad: No, ir. That's all changed since your day, sir.”
He (after she has praised some of his achievements): "A_past may be interesting, but a future is more important.'
She: Yes, my dear, and, too, a present is always acceptable."
Author: The editor seems to be quite a long time considering my manuscript. Is he keeping it, do you think?"
Office Boy: "Well, 'e's going after flies with it at the moment, air.
The teacher was giving his class a lecture on charity.
"Willie, be said, "if I saw a boy beating an ass, and stopped him from doing so, what virtue should I be showing?"
Willie (promptly): "Brotherly love."
The touring car slowed down to pass a primitive wagon, driven by an ancient farm hand.
"Look at Rip Van Winkle!" one of the occupants of the car exclaimed. "Say, old son, did you ever ride in a car?"
"Aye, once," replied the man. "A fine car it was, too-a five, wheeled one."
"What ? shid the driver of the car. Fire wheels! What
the fifth for?"
WB3
"To steer with, of course! Gid-
dup, hassy."
40
|
Betty, aged, had bought a bal- loon, and Cyril, aged 8, undertook, with big-brotherly kindness. blow it up for her,
to
Just when it had reached a nice aize, it burst. He wept.
What are you crying for!" she demanded. "It was my balloon."
**Yes," alised he, "but it was my inreatlı, '
Miss Bliss (to the Lady Prin- cipal): "Mr. Foster has come to take me for a drive. May I go ""
Lady Principal: You know that the rules of the college pro- hibit such a thing, unless you are engaged. Are you engaged to Mr. Foster "
Miss Bliss: Well, no-but if you let me go I shall be by the time we get back."
A shopkeeper was very proud of the fact that at last he had been able to afford a mechanical eléctric sign outside his shop.
But it was a blow to his dignity when one day an old countryman popped his head through the door and said:
"Say, mister, there's sommut wrong with your lights. keeps on going out."
They
Husband (after watching his wife's friend depart): "That wo man nets like a flapper, but she must be forty."
Wife: No, dear, only twenty. six"
Twenty-six! What makes you think that ?"
She told me just now how old she was."
No doubt, but did she tell you I how old she is?!
CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
Horizontal.
1.A bird. 6. Deceives.
11. To scheme,
12- Joining. 14.-Level. 15.-Arrogance. 17.-Conjunction. 18.-To transfix.
19.-Heavenly bodies.
20. Part of to be.
21.-Bone.
22.-Stupefies.
23.-Power stake.
24.-Relating.
20.-Grain to be ground.
27.-Learning. -28.-Stage,
29.-Flogs.
31. Compliance.
34-Males of sheep.
35. To swell out.
33.-Symbol for argent. 37-Man's name.
38 Stringed instrumenta.
39.-To unita."
40.-Half an em.
-41.----Nativity,
42.-Part in play.
43.-To come back.
45.-Hardens.
47.-Is fond, 48-Entitled,
17 a 9
13-To salute. 18.Resounded. 19.-Agitates.
מי!
20.-Plant with fragant seed. 22.--Narrow openings. 23. To get up.
25. So American animal..
26. Groups of persons.
98.-Sea mammal.
29.-Prickly bush. 30.-Deserved. 31.-Brusk... 32.-Spiked.
33.-Woody plants. 35.-Storage houses.
38. To employ.
39.-Ripped 41.-Conjunction." 42-A liquor. 44.-Toward.
48.-Symbol for sodium.
"
This puzzls took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
43
Vertical.
1.-To: edit.
9.-Baking place.
3.-Storage box.
4.--Existe.
'B.-Sea god.
6.-Markets.
Betting quotations.
8.-Poem.
9.-Symbol for lithium.
10.-Forces air through nostrils.
11-Warehouse.
BABB
ALLT - OHIG
843. 222312 BUJ AN-PIONEEL DO BOKIZE "ZELLED 20032
4
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1929.
SUBURBAN HEIGHTS-WHO KNOWS?
WONDERS WHETHER TO WATER THE GARDEN OR
W
HOT. IT SORT OF LOOKS
LIKE RAIN, AND IT
SORT OF DOES NOT.
LOOKS AT THE SKY AND DECIDES FRED'S RIGHT,' HE'D BETTER WATER
BILLIAMS
60ES IN TO LOOK AT
WEATHER FORECAST. FORECAST SAYS "UN- CERTAIN'
ASHS MILT GRIGBY, 'WHO SAYS THERE'LL
BE A RAINSTORM TO- NIGHT SURE, JUST LOOK AT THE SKY
(Copyright, 1929, by The Beli Syndicate, Inc.)
SPORT
STORER AND BOWDEN BREAK RECORDS,
at Leyton, had a very similar ex perience at Derby, when the home County ran up a score of 418 for four wickets,
AND
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
6DES OUT AND LOOKS? AT SKY AGAIN
LOOKS AT THE SKY AND DECIDES MILT IS PROBABLY RIGHT
CONSULTS FRED FERLEY WHO SAYS THERE ISN'T A CHANCE OF RAIN, JUSTI
LOOK AT THE SKY
DECIDES TO WATER/ ANYWAY. LIGHT SHOWER FALLS IN THE NIGHT, WHICH MIGHT CR}, MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN ENOUGH FOR GARDEN
8-10
ATHLETICS.
HÓWING " BLUES" OF FIFTY YEARS.
Boat-races of fifty years ago were
OLD TIMES GO BY THE BOARD.
Several recorda were lowered dur
Essex, who spent such a tiring day in the field against Hampshire | fought out again in memories at sing the women's athletic champion- recent dinner held at Lincoln's Inn ships meeting at Stamford Bridge. Hall, London, to celebrate the cen- Miss M. E. King (Kent Ladies' tenary of the Boat-race between Club) broke the world's record when Oxford and Cambridge, which was she won her heat in the 440 yards Several new records were set up reached this year. In all 912 Old event in 60.3-5seca., and later, in for Derbyshire, Storer and Bowden Blaes were present, 106 from each the final, she improved upon this playing their highest innings in arst University.
by winning the championship in Almost every crew 50.1-5secc. Miss King was awarded class cricket, and, putting on 122 from 18% down to 1920 was repre- the cup for the best performance together, beat the previous bestsented.
first wicket partnership for Derby- The Chairman, Sir John Eldon shire established by W. W. Hin- Wood and Bowden who, in 1993. ecored 208 against Somerset at Bath. Finally, Storer, in reaching his second hundred, accomplished feat which no Derbyshire batsman had achieved since the war.
Bankes (Oxford 1875), made the only speech of the evening in pro- posing the toast "Toe Bost-race." He said the Boat-race has retained its popular favour because it is substantially unchanged from the
Storer gave an admirable display first Boat-race in 1899. The crews on a pitch that gave the bowlers are still male members of both so help. He reached his hundred universities, and yet who can tell'
two hours and twenty-Eve minutes and altogether made 909 out of 3 in a little more than four hours. Storer drove, hit to leg and put with equal freedom, his chief hits being twenty-nine fours and Bight threes.
Bowden, in comparison, played in Jaboured fashion. It took him four hours and twenty minutes to reach three figures, while he should have been caught at slip off Daer when 51. Nevertheless he batted dia...¦ tinetly well, and he got the ball to the boundary on twelve occasions.
what the next hundred years will bring forth. In the coxswain's place may be established a diminu- tive flapper. She will never he lighter than the Chambridge cox- swain of 1863, who was reputed to to weigh 5st. 3lb. Instead of the stentorian voice of the coxswain at the exciting moment of the race. crying, "Keep it long and reach it out," we may have a shrill voice imploring the stroke to Come nearer, yes come nearer.
L
Another world's record was estab lished by Miss H. Hatt (London Olympiades), who Won the 90 metres hurdles race in 19.9-5aece. Miss L L. Howes (Middlesex) im- proved upon the British record for the one mile walk, which she won
8mins, 18secs, and in patting the| shot Miss Weston lowered her re-
throw of 62ft. sins, cord of last year by 5line., with
CHESS MATCH FOR WORLD'S TITLE
Alekhine, the holder of the world's chess championship, has signed a contract to meet Bogolju- bow in a match for the champion- ship. Half the total number of games, fifteen, will be played at Wiesbaden. No information is forthcoming as to where the re- maining fifteen games will be con- tested, but it is thought that six of them may be in Berlin and six at the Hague. After the signing of the contract the two opponents left Wiesbaden together for a me- tör-car trip.
·
THE WOMAN'S CORNER
"THE CLINK OF ICE=" COOL DRINKS FOR WARM DAYS.
[BY CLADY HANN, }
What is the nicest sound on a hot summer's day?
better than if the juice is just squeezed out of the fruit and raw sugar sprinkled over.
Gold Tea.
Raspberry Tas Punch Raspberry
ANOTHER SPLENDID DOUBLE BILL!
A rollicking comedy
of Hollywood!
Davies
WILLI
Maines
In
SHOW PEOPLE
AT
THE
TWO GREAT STARS
1000 LAUGHS
ALSO
7.15 &- 820.
мии
TORCAT'S ROOSTERS
THE GREATEST BIRD ACT OF THE CENTURY (Special Matinee: Saturday at 2.30)
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
QUEEN'S A 230, 6.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
DRAMA! COMĘDY! PATHOS I
ROD LA ROCQUE
IN
GIGOLO
with
JOBYNA RALSTON, LOUISE DRESSER AT THE
WORLD
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
At 5.15 & 9.20 Only.
2.80 & 7.15-Chinese Pioture, The Mark of Plum "
A THRILLING SPY DRAMA DIRECTED BY THE MAN WHO MADE “BEN HUR"!
GRETA
GARBO in,
The
Mysterious
AT THE
LADY
WITH CONRAD NAGEL
STAR
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW at 530 & 9.20.
SATURDAY at 280, 5.80 & ̈9.20..
CINEMA NEWS.
"SHOW PEOPLE," AT THE QUEEN'S,
ORIGIN OF FLOOD.
6,000 YEAR OLD RELICS OF FORGOTTEN RACE.
Amazing relics of a nation that existed 6,000 years ago, before the supposed great food, are drawing archaeologists from all parts of Europe to the British Museum, where the relics are on exhibition.
The relics, which are part of the
by experts of the British and Philadelphia muscums, working in harmony with the Baghdad Govern- ment, throw new light on the pre- Christian era.
"Show People," an interesting story of Hollywood life, starring Wilmam Haines and alarion Davies, wll be the feature attraction at the Тел Punch. Two Queen's Theatre from today, to cups strong tes, one cup raspberry | Saturday. juice, made by sprinkling sugar. A number of famous stars ap. over the raspberries and leaving pear as extras" in the picture, treasures excavated at Ur in Iraq People who know what it is to be really hot and thirsty, and who for several hours, the juice of one among the Douglas Fairbanks, are not in Hong Kong,, at least lemon and the juice of one orange, who does a bit of juggling, William
and half pint dry ginger ale twice a day during the summer,
Crush the berries to help extract S. Hart, Norma Talmadge, Charlie For me, and for most people, Tagree that there is no better thirst-
the juice. Strain the juice and Chaplin, John Gilbert, Mae Mur- think, it is the clink of the ica quencher than cold ten.“ in the glass," even though the ice Workers in bot places-miners add the tea. Then add the orange Tay, Rod La Rocque, Renee Adores, Leatrice Joy, George K. Arthur, may tinkle in no more excitinga and furnace workers could not and lemon juice, and leave to chill. Karl Dane, Aileen Pringle, Claire
Jemonade or plain exist without their can of cold tea,, Just before serving add
so I think it is worth while, taking ginger ale. Serve with chipped Windsor, Estelle Taylor, Dorothy a tip from them, and making this ice, and garnish with whole rasp- Sebastian and Polly Moran,
Marion Davies also plays herself beverage the foundation of many berries. Loganberries can be used pleasant summer drinks for lunch in the same way.
in one scene as does Elinor Glyn, or dinner, or as a refresher be
Lew Cody, and other notables of the film colony. tween whiles.
brew than wnter.
Yet it is a pity to limit oneself to these two drinks when more in- teresting concoctions can be pro- duced with a little ingneuity and a very little more time.
There are a number of bottled fruit juices and essences on the market, and these, with the com- bination of some citrous fruit such na lemon or grapefruit, make ex cellent foundations for cooling beverages.
Fresh fruit juices are always preferable, of course, but in an emergency it is not always possible! to have the fresh fruit on hand,
Fruit Thirst Quenchers,
the
Iced Russian Tea is very good on a hot day. Berve the tea in China Tes Punch proved to be glasses and put a good squeeze of
successful experiment. For this femon juice in each, and float take four cups of China tea, the round of lemon on top. Add juice of four oranges, juice of little ice, and drink it through three lemons, juice of one grape-straws to get the best effect. fruit, one cup sugar, small bottle
Frozen Cubes, ginger ale. Dissolve the sugar in the hot tea, then mix in the fruit juices.
Tablets found by 'the excavators
are believed to furnish archeologic al proof of the reality of a great pre-historic flood in Southern not Babylonia, which, though powerful enough to penetrate the walled cities, foundated the coun- tryside and swept away the pópula- tion.
Miss Davics plays the part of a
Among the relies on view are Southern girl who is seeking fame in the movies and Haines is a slap. barbaric works of art in gold and stick comedian who helps her to deformed in spite of the weight of silver of fabulous value, scarcely. earth that has lain on them for more than 5,000 years.
stardom.
How she developes "tempera- ment,' almost marries a bogus Many people complain that the addition of ice dilutes the drink, count, and how pictures are made Leave to get thoroughly chilled, thus weakening the flavour. If at Hollywood, all figure in the
sequences. in the refrigerator for preference, you have a refrigerator you can Hollywood is shown in detail, and just before serving add the obviate this, and vary the addition and a pretty romance between the ginger alc. Serve with chipped ice of ginger ale, by freezing it.
orange on top of each,,.
GRETA GARBO, IN "THE MYSTERIOUS LADY."
As the beautiful Russian spy in
a European military intrigue, fins To prepare the juice of fresh in the glasses, and a. silce of To do this so as to preserve the temperamental star and the lowly Garbo plots the downfall of a young fruit for drinking sprinkle sugar
Az in the ale, stand the bottles comedian runs through the produc enemy officer who has become
tion.
cnamoured of ber. Leading him os requisite over a tin of soft fruit To make Blade Currant Tea for a day or two in the refrigera-
into disgrace and military prison, such as strawberries, raspberries, Punch. Two cups black currant tor, then pour the contents in the
for the loss of an important docu-. Joganberries, blackberries, or black tea, made by pouring boiling i freezing pan, holding the bottles
ment, Miss Garbo brings a striking currants and leave for several water over-black currant jam, two clase against the side so that as
|wistfulness into her difficult char- hours. Then strain the juice, and cups strong tea, the juice of three little as possible of the gas escapes.
1acterization by revealing her tru use a little at a time blended with lemons and juice of three oranges. Then return to the refrigerator
In The Mysterious Lady," which love for the man ehe betrayed. lemon juice and soda-water or Mix the two teas, and leave to get and freeze as suickly as possible.
cold. Then add the, fruit juices, ginger ale.
Add several of the cubes to any opens to-day at the Star Theatre, Conrad Nagel, as the dashing In a refrigerator or an ice chest and chill thoroughly. Serve with long drink and you will have a Greta Garbo will be seen in the Austrian cavalryman whose, trust
was violated, gives a remarkable. these juices will keep for several chipped ice. No
Bugar is
cool, fizzy beverage with a delight most ambitious role of her career. DO- days, and the flavour is much" | cessary.
ful favour.
(Continued at foot of nezt column). I performance as the vengeful lover,