HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1929.
She: "Time separates the best
Why the filmy outfit!" "I'm taking a screen test this of friends." morning."
Do you have any trouble with 'shall' and 'will' 7''
"No; my wife says. You shall," and I say. I will.'"
Husband (in car): "The engine is terribly overhente?'
Wife (calmly): "Then, why don't you turn off the radiator !"
She:
"That's a funny French dish on the menu. Do you know what it means "
He: Yes; an attack of indiges- tion if you take it."
Old Lady (getting on London bus during rush hour): "Do you ge to Victoria, young man
Conductor: Outside only!! "Then where does the inside
"I took the girl out in my mo- tor yeterday, held her hand, pr posed, was accepted, and kissed her three times, all inside_forty-two¦ minutes.
"You ought to have been put in gaol for exceeding the speed limit.
It was a wet day, and as the pretty girl entered the crowded car a man rose to his feet.
"No, you must not give up your seat: 1 insist," said the young wo
INAN.
You may insist as much as you Jike, miss,' was the reply. I'm Ketting out here!"
"Stop!" yelled the film produ- cet, and obediently. the cameras ceased clicking.
A
The producer then walked over to the leading man.
"Your expression is hopeless," he cried. "Try to look as if you re- ally were indignant.'
I've done the best I can," re- torted the actor. sullenly. "Yobody could do any better,"
"Very well, your salary is re- duced by 20 from to-day?" snap- ned the other. "Now. that is the idea! Hold it.. Take. please,"
And the cameras clicked once
mori
i
j
Fle: "Quite true. Fourteen years Ago we were both eighteen: Now are twenty-three and I'm you thirty-two."
"Poetry should be written on one side of the paper only, shouldn't it?" asked a young versifter.
"
That depends on the poetry,' replied the editor, wearily. "Lots of it shouldn't be written on either side,"
Little Girl: "Black hens are cleverer than white ones, aren't they. Mumie
MotherWhr. dear?"
Little Girl
Cos the black hens can lay white, egzs. and the white ours can't black."
Excited Gentleman: "It's all through your wretched paper!"
Editor: Why, what's the mat ter i'
You stated the day before yes- térday that a thief had entered my house, broken open my desk, stolen a sum of money, but that, forty- nately, he had overlooked the gold watch which usually lies in the hot- tom of the drawer.
Well, I believe the facts are stated correctly.""
They are correct enough. But. what is the result? The fellow came again last night and took the watch
A gang of navvies were a work on a deep trench.
There was a Scottish foreman on the job, and he was far from popu- lar on account of his hustle and keenness
Jump bol o' that trench there!" Ee suddenly ordered one navvy.
The latter did so.
the
Noo jump back again!" said foreman. Back went the
labourer,
Oot again-quick!''. This out-and-in-performance went on for some time until the labourer, exasperated, asked what it was all about.
Well, if you want to know" said the foreman, "I'll tell ye. Yer bringin' mair muck oot on yer boots than ye've done wi' yer spade for the last hour!"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
195
13
15 6
7 9
12
9 10
14
116
18
19
120
સ
22 23 24
25
126
27 128 129 130
32
133
35
36
38
39
140
141
42
43
49
45 146 1947
48
49 50 51
152
53
154 155 156
557
58
159
50
162
69
Horizontal,
1. Part of body.
4.-Cures.
-Foot-like organ.
12.-Big wave.
13-To praise.
34-Highest note in Guido's scale.
15. To steal the person of.
17.-Outdoor party.
19.-Unclosed.
21.-To act.
22.-To stop.
25.-Performed..
37.-Taverns.
31.Female sheep.
32. Speaking two languages.
34.-Musical note.
38. To observe.
36.-Descendant.
37.-Tbus.
39.-Feigned.
41.--Chart.
42. Prefix: halt.
43.-Man's nickname.
44.-Suffers.
45.-Symbol for neon.
47,--Black.
40.-Unhappy person.
53-To invest with clerical orders.
67-Atmosphere.
58. To collect and save.
60.-Fish eggs.
01.-Female deer,
69-Follows commenda.
63-Ax insect.
Vertical,
1-To inquire. 2-Portuguese coin. 3.-Demented. 4-Pile.
5.-Advisable. &-By, 7.-To gut.
8-Stipped. 9.-Inclosure.
10.-Man's name (biblical). 11.-Animal pouch.
.16.-Negative.
1-Corner.
20.-Nothing.
9.-Aids.
23.—Cognizant.
24.-French, for the.
25-To free from the fresh.
Greek letter.
-Pertaining to the nose. 30-Spilla,
22.-Ar insect.
33.To bow.
35.-To serve scantily.
30.-Type measure.
40. To expire. 41.-Musical note. 44-Conjunction. 40. To resound.
49.-Metallie rock (plural). 48.-Small, compact masa. 50.-Spanish for river. 51.-Before.
52.-Fireplace projection. 54.-A constellation.
55.-Electrified particle.
66.-Trap:
69.-Prefix: again.
This puzzle took 20 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
: SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
ALP
[49] [KE RAR (DCO. AMPİR. AUSOARS 02-81007-10- IRE ONLORID.VI OBRALA - JIORLD| ALLCAVEVA -- DOLLAR POBIRY
HBECK-F2ADED
•
HAND INSPECTION
COMES IN ABOUT. SUPPER-TIME
ADMITS THAT NO, HE DIDN'T EXACTLY WASH THEM, BUT THEY JUST, DIDN'T GET DIRIY
TO-DAY
SEES MOTHER GETTING READY TO ASK ARE HIS HANDS CLEAN FOR SUPPER. THRUSTS THEM INTO POCKETS
IS REQUESTED TO SHOW THEM, FLASHES THEM AT MOTHER ACROSS ROOM AND PUTS THEM BACK IN POCKETS
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
MOTHER ASKS, BE- COMES ABSORBED IN MABAZINE AND PRE- TENDS NOT TO HEAR
MOTHER REQUESTS A· CLOSER VIEW. WALKS" OVER TO HER, SISHING, REALIZING THAT THE BATTLE IS LOST
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bali Syndicate, Inc.)
PICTURES
AND
MOTHER REPEATS QUES- TION FOR THIRD TIME. SAYS WHAT? HANDS? OHYES, SURE, THEY'RE]
CLEAN
6053 UP TO WASH, EXAMINING HANDS AND REFLECTING HOW! FUSSY GROWN-UPS
ARE
GIDYAS
WILLIAMS
PLAYS.
The appearance" and actions of the father and his servants may recount in soine measure for the desire of the Prodigal to leave home but the action of his two
went sway very disappointed. able Subsequently the Prodigal confidants, seemed quite inexplic
Most of those present had the idea The new revue which is to be
of a gymnasium company which in- seems to have fallen into the hands presented by Jack Hulbert and that the pre-view was going to be of the new apparatus installed in Paul Murray will have a book by cludes a lady acrobat of peculiar Douglas Furber, lyrics by Donovan the theatre, whereas it turned out ideas of captivation. As personat Parsons, and music by Ivor to be nothing more than a demon- ed by Mme. Felis Doubrovska she Novello, One of the scenes repre-tration of what could be done with illustrated the obligingness of Na-sents the House of Commons, in a portable movietone machine, with
"A Bill of Divorcement," Cle-
The large number who saw and mence Dane's best play up to now, heard the first display of the movie. was revived at the St. Martin's re cently with Edna Best in the tone apparatus in the Carlton lamented, Meggie Albanesi's charac-Theatre in Shanghai last week, tef.
ture to enable the human body to present itself in a position sugges- tive of rubber-like flexibility. That her actions should astonish the Prodigal supplied the only natural touch in the production.
1950).
"Bitter Sweet," the new operetta (not revue) written and composed by Noel Coward, was presented with great success by. Charles B. recently. A hundred people are Cochran at the Palace, Manchester, in the cast, all in the costumes of 1870, 1800, and the present period, "Bitter Sweet was later taken to Mis Majesty's on the 18th.
adequate preparation. There was only one horn, where there should be three behind the screen, and as a result it was difficult to hear what was going on,, much of the sound escaping to the back of the stage,
It is understood that the theatre Products. Ltd., for the display, was lent to the Electric Research which was generally thought to be of their portable apparatus. The new movietone which is being installed by the theatre itself is very much better than what was heard, says Shanghai critic. In this case it is rather difficult to understand why the company exploiting, the movie. tono should have given a pre-view in Beauty: the new Comedy ad-conditions which were so against apted by Michael Morton from their product's giving of its best. French play by Jacques de Val, was presented by George Grossmith
Lenn M. Lion has been made à Chevalier of the Legion of Honour by the French Government. Bon!
Mr. Serge Lifar indicated that the Prodigal was an extremely im pulsive, not to say nervy, young man: This was quite justified, and his antics and gymnastics went far to maintain interest in an enter- taiment which for eccentricity is of the first rank. It was distinctly hard on The Prodigal Son" that it should be preceded by Sir Thomas Beccham's Handelian bal let The Goda Go A-Begging," in which romance and fancy of action are combined so captivatingly with music of sturdy rationality and melodic charm. In this Mme. 1 at Alexandra Danilova and Mr. Leon Woizikovsky danced and were sup ported by an ensemble which ad- mirably sustained the best "tradi- tions of the Dinghileff company.
11
***
the Strand recently. The "Mr. Cinders" was transferred players included Lady Tree, Ena from the Adelphi to the London Grossmith, Morton Selten, Eric Hippodrome recently with its en- Maturin, Kay Hammond, E. Lyall tire fine cast. This quaint musical Swete, and Charles Laughton. I play success has been acquired by Felix Edwardes was the producer. Charles B. Dillingham for America
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
EASY-TO-MAKE SOUFFLES.
DO YOU KNOW THESE CLEANING TIPS?
Orange Soufflé: Substitute orange juice and rind for the lemon. Add Egg-shells are numerous in the two or three drops of maraschino, ordinary kitchen, and too often these
An interesting and seasonable variation are fruit soufflés for find their way into the garbage pail which bottled fruit can be used with. little thought for their usefu!- with advantage.
певн.
Vanilla Soufflé: In a casserole melt a amal dessertapooulut of fresh butter, blend it with 1f oz. of Rour, add gradually pint of warm milk, stir to a smooth paste with a few drops of vanilia essenes. When slightly cooled add 3 yolks
Gooseberry Soufflé : Straig of egg, 3 ozs. of sugar, a small
In future crush all your egg-shells pinch of salt, and finally the very pound of gooseberries and rub. stily beaten whites of egg. Add through a sieve. Beat three yolks with a rolling-pin until they are as only a quarter of the egg white of egg to a froth with 21 oz of fine as powder. at fret. and beat it thoroughly to sugar, add a little grated lemon get a perfectly amooth paste, and rind, the fruit pulp and lastly, the then stir the rest in lightly. Put stiffly beaten whites Bake in a into a well-buttered fire-proof dish, moderate oven. and bake 25 minutes in a moderate Serve immediately when
oven. done.
Now-Laid Only.
Use this powder to remove the stains from enamel saucepans; tea stains from cups or teapot, and fruit or other stains from white woodwork."
41
Summer Fruit Flavoura. Peaches, apricots, raspberries and pineapple are used in exactly Use new-laid eggs only. The the same way, the flavour of the For the stained saucepans or frst being much improved by the china, dip a piece of flannel in the whites must be very stiff. If your addition of half a teaspoonful of crushed egg-shell and rub gently; dish is shallow, tie a band of but aberry. More liquid will make the tered paper round it to prevent the soufflé sodden and prevent it from for the stained woodwork, dip a wet mixture from running over. The
rising
scrubbing brush in the powder and soufflé should rise well and be nice- Apple Soufflé Per! and core scrub vigorously. ly browned on top. The quantity four medium sized apples and cook given will be sufficient for four them carefully in a few spoonfuls
DYSORE
of water, flavoured with a suspicion Gilt picture and mirror frames Chocolate soufflé is made exactly of rum and a small teaspoonful of soon become dull and tarnished in a like the vanilla one, and 2 oss, of | butter. While this is simmering, damp atmosphere, and it is impos. grated chocolate are added to and beat up four yolks of egg with three sible to get them bright with or dissolved in the milk.
tablespoons of sugar to a froth.dinary rubbing.
Almond Souflé: Leave out the vanilla and add 1 oz. of ground almond, and a few drops of almond essence instead.
G
Add tablespoon of ground. You can clean them successfully almonds, tablespoon of grated in this way. First of all remove all bread (preferably brown), and the the dust, using & brush in the stiffly beaten whites..
crevices. Get a large, firm onion,
Stand the cooked apples side by cut it in half and squeeze out all Macaroon Squé; Add to the side in the buttered baking dish, the juice on the lemon squeezer. mixture 1 oz of crumbled maca- pour the egg mixture over them, roons before stirring in the beaten taking care not to make the dish Strain the juice, dip a piece of too full, and bake the soulé in a flannel in it, and rub over the gilt Lemon Soulé: Instead of vanilla moderate oven for twenty-five frame. Wash it off in warm, clear add greated lemon rind and a few minutes. Serve with red-currant water and dry with soft, clean
cloths. drop of lemon juice.
jelly.
whites.
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The
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Slight Increase in Prices.
QUEEN'S
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At 2.80, 5.10, 7.159.20.
RURAL ROMANCE CHOCK FULL OF CHUCKLES
WILLIAM FOX Presents
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A DELIGHTFUL screen version of the famous novel, "The Emperor of Portugallia,” by Selma Lagerloff!
THE
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At 530 & 9.20.
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