HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"My son seems to be labouring under a delusion.
13
That's fine-I didn't know he was working."
Chief Clerk: "I notice your work lately, Miss Pipkin, has been performed in a most perfunctory. талпет."
Misa Pipkin: "Oh, thank you so unuch.
Big Actor: My dear fellow, I'd led you the pound if I thought you'd pay it back."
Little Actor. "Pay it back! Why, man, in my new play 1 nake 25.000 in the first act
The golfing novice finished his first game and airily handed, his score-card to the secretary, with the remark: "Two below bogey!"
But." protested the official, this is nowhere near bogey !'
A department store executive re- We put green boy in lates the shoe department yesterday. A lady came in and said she wanted I don't see missed mules. think Mrs. Mules werks here,' said the boy."
10
t
Little Freddy was preparing to zo ut calling with his mother. Suddenly he called to her in a startled voice;
"Mumma, is this bay rum in the brown bottle " "Gracious, Blue."
DO, dear: that's
Oh, said Freddy, after a pause; "maybe that's why I can't get my hat off."
For weeks Alfred Tennyson Byron, J., had been practising his speech of proposal. A last he thought he find worked out a good one. There was fall toon, and all that sort of thing.
Mrs. Lamdidah: "I'm going to enter Fido in the dog show next month."
Friend: "Do you think he will
win
dogs,
Xo, but he'll meet some nice
to
A Jew who had business in Ire land was advised by his friends that the safest way of managing things in that country was pretend he was a Roman Catholic. The Hebrew went to Ireland, but returned home very badly damaged. "And why didn't you do what you were told?" asked his friends.
I did." whined the Hebrew, and not only that; I tried to prove it by telling them my father was a priest and my mother & nun."
1
They sat opposite each other at rather rickely marble-topped table in the crowded tenshop.
One was a big, burly individual, and the other a diminutive little i man in a bowler hat.
1
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, AUGUST 26, 1929.
They had been steadily munching for a quarter of an hour; when the little man "suddenly tapped the other on the ari
"Do you think you could paSS me the sugar" he asked, rather tienerously.
The big, burly one scowled.
P'e'aps." he muttered: "I've bin moving planners all me life."
The manager of a "successful store, recounting his early experi-, ences with the system of selling on the basis of the bigger the quantity. the greater reduction in price," tells of a man who entered the shop one day and asked, "How do, you sell potash
and then
The salesman told him: "A cent an ounce, four ounces for 3 cents, half a pound for 5 cents, pound for T centa."
The purchaser repeated the de- tails
asked: "How much would it be if I took seven pounds ""
Six cents a pound." "If I took 14 pounds, how inuch "
The salesinan was ready for him; Five and a half cents," he said. How much shall I have to buy to get it for nothing!" was his final query.
I am mad about you," he whis- pered, and in my breast burns the mortal flame of an undying love. 1 worship you with nề tre" mendous, overpowering, all-encom parsing adoration."
Oh, gracious!" said the girl.
CROSSWORD · PUZZLE.
12 13 14
8
19
11
112
R
14
15
16
116
19
20
22
26
29
31
34
38
༄མ་མསྐྱཚ་
WW30
32
133
35
37
42
144
45
46
147
148
Horizontal.
1.Shady recess. G-Artificial colour."
11-Places for contests.
13.-Mess.
14. Within..
15. To command,
17.-To exist.
18. To drink with tongue.
20-A flower.
31-To petition.
22.To ceasc.
24.-To soak.
25.-Audacious.
20.-Eats Away.
29.-Greck goddess.
9.-Jutting rocks.
30-Large plantigrade carnivore.
32.-Hot..
31.-To depend.
34.-Descendants,
35.To make noise like a dove,
30.-Skin.
38.-Boy.
39.--To nacertain depth..
41. To regret.
42.--Printer's measure.
43.-Changeable.
45.-Part of to be.
48.~~~Era.
48.-Feżrs.
60.-Endeavoured.
31.-Colloquial: domineering.
Vertical,
13.-Final.
16. Binds
15.-To presage..
21. More regretful.
23.---Ponda.
3.-Facial hair.
27-Waterless,
Feminine pronoun...
30.-Ripared.
31.-Wanderer, "
32-Race track tipster.
3-Ancient Celtic priests. 31-Slumbered.
35-Lump of earth.
3. Disorderly.
30-To`gond.
40.-Sharp point.
43.-Pastry.
44.-Prefix: new.
47.--Smallest of U.S. (initials). 40.-Like.
to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
No. 1493.
THUMBS
WONDERS WHAT TO DO TO AMUSE HIMSELF
REMEMBERS HE QUGHT TO BRACE IT WITH OTHER ARM-
GUD
MAYBE IF HE GETS ITIN TAHTER AND CLAMPS HIS ARM AROUND, SHE CANT GET IT OUT
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
WHEN IN DOUBT CERTAIN A- MOUNT OF COMFORT CAN AL- WAYS BE HAD BY SUCKNG
THUMB
DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE THE SYSTEM RIGHT TO-DAY. TEKMO
KEEPS SLIPPING OUT
AND WHILE HE'S ABOUT IT HE MIGHT AS WELL MAKE HIM- SELF THOROUGHLY, COMFORTABLE
SHE DID IT AGAIN! STARTS TO CRY BUT DECIDES ON STRATEGY INSTEAD (Copyright, 1929, by The Beli Syndicate, Inc.)
PICTURES
WELL OF ALL THE NERVE !, MOTHER CAME OVER AND TOOK HIS
THUMB RIGHT OUT OF HIS HOUTH
TURNS OVER AND PRETENDS TO ED TO SLEEP. WHAT NOBODY KNOWS WON'T HURT THEM
AND PLAYS.
Dion Boucicault, one of the most | Ono scene, where reporters, alleged to represent notable New York capable actors and producers known
journals, are guilty of boorishness to the London stage for many beyond delief, is incredibly libel- years, bas died at the age of
lous. Prohibition has, apparently, come much too late to save Ameri- can journalists,
raun."
Yet, despite its crudity, there is an undercurrent of reality which will go a long way to redeem "shots" which border on the im- possible. The scenes depicting the inner side of newspaper life are n depth and insight given with that will appeal to the journalist, however much they surprise the reader.
Walter Huston as the news editor may be true to American life. He certainly does not exist in Bri
Norman Foster Kay
F24
ordinary interest. There was 30 much that lent itself to effective contrast, human treatment, and satiric humour, and undoubtedly the large audience at Covent Gar den, when the work was included in the Brat night's programme of the present season of the Diaghileff Ballet, may be attributed to the anticipations of "The Prodigal Eon." The scenario follows the story clearly and consistently, but
all the dreams of the exuberant ad- venturer could not have contained his experiences as set forth by the choreography of Georges Balan- chine and the music of Serge Pro- kofeff. The former is frankly a burlesque of faree-like character and the best that can be said of the latter is that it echoes the banal-
He returned England seventy. From Australia a few weeks ago with his wife, Irene Vanbrugh, and was taken ill on the voyage.
Although, like Godfrey Tearle, he was born in New York, where he made his first appearance fifty years ago, he was of British: birth, the son of Dion Boucieault, the famous author of The Shaugh- He was a manager in Aus tralia for years, after being in the original cast of The Private Secretary. In Melbourne he pro- daend, with Robert Brough, all the successes of Pinero and Francis, and Betty Lawford are exity of what it illustrates. Arthur Jones, and then returned to London to take part in scores of plays, from "Ruffles" to "Justice,'t and from "The Mind-The-Paint Girl" to "The School Mistress" and "His Excellency the Governor." After etaging plays for Charles Frohman of fourteen years he pro- duced Peter Pan" every year, and he was often associated with Sir James Barrie's playa... He was the creator of Mr. Pim in A. A. Milne's Mr. Pim Passes By."
If a British company had pro duced "Gentlemen of the Press, Paramount talkie, then all the peace propaganda in the world could not have prevented open hostilities! It is the most biting satire ever brought to the screen. The New York Press is shown as a collection of drink-seeking, cigar- accepting "toughnecka,' who would disgrace the lowest society.
tain.
One would, however, be extremely | sorry to think that it represented even a highly-coloured picture of newspaper life. Fortunately the law of libel is a mere bagatelle in America-which is just as well!
k
cellent in their respective roles. "Gentlemen of the Press," if only because of its obvious effort at sin- Once again the Everyman (London) cerity, will attract,
management has deviated into its former habit of presenting plays by less famous foreign more authors. Recently the drama, cho- sen there was "The Gauntlet," by the Norwegian author, Bjornsterne Bjornson. It is strange but strong work containing much to in- terest those people who have a pas sion
30-called "problem" plays. It is well produced by Mal- colm Morley and well played, chiefly by Alfred Clark, Douglas Rose. Walter Pearce, Shirley Bax (as the heroine who "shies" at her fiance's
4
There is no more beautiful par- able in the Bible than that of "The Prodigal Son. It palpitates with the eternal struggle between the ignorance, inexperience and exuber- nnce of youth and the knowledge and fidelity of faithful parenthood. It is a story for all time. When
for
past)", and especially by that always ine actress Louise Hampton
Com-
it was heard that Boris Kochna as her, perplexed mother. Altoge had taken it as a subject for ather, Mr. Morley may be ballet and that Serge Prokofieff had mended for throwing down-or written the music there were anti- rather, putting on The Gaunt- "cipations of work of more than' let."
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
MENUS THEY MUST BE VARIED.
The monotony of the cooking in rich flavour and aroma, due to the many English homes, hotels, and bed of vegetables and herba-the restaurants really is appalling. Mirepoix-on which the ment rests. Stewing, boiling, roasting, baking To Prevent Scorching, and frying pan frying-these seein to be the extent of the average oook's venturesomeness.
Why not be a little bit bolder and discover the joys that lie in brais- ing, grilling, sautéing, deep frying, the chafing dish, the casserole, the high-pressure cooker, the Dutch oven 1
tention.
Take braising. This is one of the most delicious ways of cooking, meat, and is especially suitable for
meat that lacks flavour.
When grilling chops and steaks, SeLson them with salt and pepper rubbed in. Skewer the chops into a a neat shape.
Quick Service, Put little dabs of dripping on the
ed with forcemeat, or if very lean,
The meat is often boned and stuff-top, place on the greased griller
and cook five minutes either ride.
FUNNY! - "FAST!
FURIOUS!.
WARNER BROS.present
POWDER
AT THE
STARRING
OWDER MY BACK
IRENE RICH
WITX
AUDREY FERRIS "ANDRE BERANGER ANDERS RANDOLF CARROLL NYE
ANITATION ST JOSEPH JACKSON ........ FERESA PLÁN VE KONINË LOAD
ROY DEL, KUTH
A WARNER BROS.PRODUCTION..
QUEEN'S
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
THE POPULAR COMEDY TEAM-
KARL DANE
AND
GEORGE K. ARTHUR
AT THE
in a splendid mystery-comedy
DETECTIVES
WORLD
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.13, 7.15 & 9.20.
PRODUCED IN FRANCE!
An unusual farce-comedy, full of amusing situations, and a surprise ending!
MAXIM S BAR BOY
AT THE
with..
ERIC BARCLAY
STAR
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
KING EDWARD'S HORSE.
£25,000 ENDOWMENT FUND SCHEME.
Mr. Justice Clauson decided in. the Chancery. Division what was to be done with a sum of 125,000, the balance of money subscribed towards the King Edward's Horse Endowment Fund.
The question was raised by a sum- mons issued by the administrative committee and trustees of the fund. The respondents included the Attor- ney-General, the trustees of the A mixed grill is one of the most lato Lord Strathcona and Mount in the case of game or sweet-appetising of meals and a great Royal, who subscribed £10,500, and breads, it is inrded.
favourite with men. If your griller Bir Otto Beit, who subscribed Very little liquid is used, and this is large enough, everything can be £1,000 to the fund. is gradually reduced in cooking, cooked at once-chops, kidneys, the juices from meat and vegetables bacon, sausagus, toushrooms, toma- forming a rich gravy to be served tors.
with it. Delicate meats such as
or
"War Memorial."
Mr. Roger Turnbull, for the com- Sausages should he pricked, kid- mittee, said that King Edward's There is nothing very mysterious sweetbreads or chicken or veal neys skinned and washed; tomatoes Horse was formed after the South about any of these methods. should be covered with greased can be grilled whole or in halves; African War, with the sanction of
Perhaps they require a little bit paper to prevent scorching.
"The Kings Colonial and Imperi- salted water and then dried, and This puzzle took 20 minutes to the food, but on the other hand, ing are fillet of beef, fillet of veal, dipped in melted butter. Always the services of the Colonial troops more trouble in the preparation of. The most suitable meats for brais.mushrooms must be well washed in King Edward, under the name, al Yeomanry" to commemorate solve. See how long it will take you there is the advantage that the breast of weal (stuffed), chicken, serve a grill quickly, with chipped
whole or in parts, pigeon, whole or
war. Money was actual cooking is very quick, or
potatoes and maitre d'hotel butter, during that
subscribed for an endowment fund, if slow, requires practically nó at in part, game, sweetbreads.
and in July 1810 the name was I am always surprised to find how and garnish with watercrras few of my friends can grill. It is young lettuce, Economical Method.
changed to King Edward's Hores.
The regiment, was used largely quick, and food so cooked is savoury
Leather chairs that have been and digestible.
as an O.T.C. during the great war, allowed to get very dirty can be and, being maintained at the Gov revived by wiping with a cletherament expense, the fund was al wrung out in warm water to which lowed to accumulate. The regi- a little ammonia and vinegar have ment was disbanded on March 31, been added,
1924, and there remained in the
the Worn parts should be touched up hands of committee about with ink or cold water dye to match £25,000. the colour of the leather; then when Mr. Uthwatt, för Sir Otto Beit, dry a film of white of egg brushed said that he certainly did not want over to prevent further wear. Let his money back, and he did not this dry thoroughly, and then polish think that any other subscriber with ordinary furniture polish. did.
Leather chairs should be polished Mr. Justice Clauson held that periodically with furniture polieb, there was a general charitable in. as the cream acts as a protection | tention, and he directed that a against the acid fumes in the air, scheme should be framed, which; which have a perishing effect on lea- should be administered by the Im ther.
'perial Service College Trust:
BRG OPERA HIL
1-Sets free on security.
-Ornamental.
3. Plural of I.
02
6. Thcursion.
4.-Conclusion.
G.--Compassion. 7-Consumed.· 8.-Pronoun, B-Star-cluster. 10.-Cornered. 12. Frightens,
better results.
Mixed Grills,'
Very few people attempt to grill over the fire these days. The gas or electric grill is much more astie- factory.
Almost all the foods one cooks in the fry-pan (zave, of course, eggs and potatoes) can be cooked under It is a combination of the grill in less, time and with methods, stewing and roasting, the food being cooked very slowly in a emall quantity of liquid, while, when using the braising-pan proper the ild is deeply sunken so that live coats can be placed in it, thus there is fire over as well as under the food,
Nowadays, however, it is more general to roast the food in the oven in a tightly covered pan or casserole.
The bars of the griller must be Besides being an economical heated and brushed over with melt- method it develops a particularly led margarine or dripping,
The grill should be made red hot before anything is underneath it, otherwise the food will become har dened and tasteless.
At 5.30 & 9.20. -
THE GREATEST BIRD ACT OF THE CENTURY !
TORGAT'S ROOSTERS
A "TROUPE" OF 60 GAME FOWLS IN A RIOT OF COMEDY, ACROBATICS AND ECCENTRICITIES with
"COCO"
THE ONLY BOOSTER COMEDIAN IN THE HISTORY OF THE STAGE
COMING SOON
TO THE
QUEEN'S
WATCH OUT FOR. OPENING DATE!