HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"Have we plenty of gas now be fore we start 1"
Master: "Tell the housemaid to be more careful in dusting the The indicator says one-half-piano. The noise is disconcerting." but I don't know whether that means half full or half eqpty."
Football Fan: They've played rotten so far, haven't they ?".
Burly Hame Team Supporter (fiercely); Do" "ave?"
"Why, the band, of course."
Employer (to office boy); "How do you find yourself these cold mornings, Tommy 1"
"Quite easily, thank you, sir. I just throw back the bedclothes and there I a
"I don't wonder the now gar. dener does not know his work. He has been a clerk."
"How do you know?" "He wanted to put the behind his car."
ཏཏཎསཏྟབྦ''ལོཝཾ ཀཧཾ
Footman: "Bus that is Mistress practicing in the drawing room."
"I can't seem to get these dishen clean, Mother.".
You could, dear, if you tried more soap and a little elbow grease."
I've tried the soap, but I didn't see any of the other.'
Wife of Famous Actor (on motor Lour): I think it would be po- lie to pull up, dear."
Famous Actor: "Why, what's the matter?"
Wife: "It's a policeman with an autograph book."
Fervently the orator was speaking on: "He drove straight to his hoof goal. He looked neither to the
Patient Professors Now, gentle men. I don't mind your taking out your watches and looking at them. but please be courteous enough not to hold them up to your ear as if you thought they had stopped run-
ninx.
All the mechanical toys you make seem to be successful."
"Yes," said the inventor. "I have had only one failure."
Ah! What was that!" Atoy tramp. It was too ro alistic: it wouldn't work."
right nor left, but pressed forward, Inoved by a definite purpose. Neither friend nor fee could delay him nor turn him from his course.
All who crossed his path did so at their own peril. What would you call such a man" He paused,
for rhetorical effect.
Whereupon a knowing voice from the audience shouted: Truck driver,"
An elderly lady visiting New York asked a policeman what bus she should take to get to a certain plne. He told her to take the
bus that passed her corner.
A few hours later the policeman- returned to find the lady still standing on the corner. What, haven't you got your bus yet?" he asked.
It's all right," she said. "This is the 993d, so it will only be 180
It was the Inst meal of the voyage The stewards were showing unpre cedented attention at e. Aber donian table. There seemed no escape; every man was marked.
Suddenly one of the party shout-huses from now." cd. "Three
cheers for the stewards" and struck
"For they are jolly good fellows'
In the confusion every escaped.
up
man
New Office Boy: "Why don't you go to the ball game to-day, air It's a great afternoon, business is quiet, and I feel sure I can take care of things."
The Boss"Yes, I know, but I am expecting a call. Thanks just the same."
New Office Boy: "Well, perhaps I'd better go, thên. Both of us
won't he needed around here."
22
42
The express had not been living up to its reputation. First it would go forward 60 yards or so, then, back, then stand still, paffing uncertainly, and then begin the Anme things all over again. At last one of the travelers called the guard.
What's the matter with this train the demanded. "Backing up and jerking forward in this "way."
"It's quite all right, sir," the guard assured him. I think the engine driver is teaching his wife to drive."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
Horizontal. 1.-To palm off.
6. To act in response,
11.-Painter,
13.-Masked actor.
14.-Enelosed.
15. Newly-rich person.
17.-Pronoun.
13.-100,000 rupees. 20.-Underground parts. 21.—Marsh."
22.-To quit..
24.-Pastry,
95:-Certificate of indebtedness. 28.-Rubbed out,
28. To separate.
29.-Molds,
30.-Non-clerical.
31.-Uncovered.
32-Caused to lose sharpness. 34.-Parcels of land.
35.-To be ill.
30.-Hurried.
38.--Cardinal number.
30.-Low marshy ground.
41.-To Declare,
42.-Upon.
43.-Traders.
45.-Musical note.
48.-Paverty.
48-In England; a cloth mer-
chant,
50.-Rock.
51.-Leading actora.
Vertical.
1-Become insolvent.“ 2-Markedly ornamented. 3.-Pronoun,
4-To "drink slowly.
6. Former Russian ruler..
6-Eurries
7-Large bird.
8-Fart of" to be."
-Mortar-like substance. 10-Tendency.
12-Figurative uses of words.
13. To award.
16.-Empty.
145
13-Botany heart-shaped. 21.-Pincers. 23.-Couples.
5.-Dips out.
17. To understand.
28.-Chum.
30.-Quicted.
31-Head covering.
38.-Clock face,
2. More expensive.
34.-Slip-knats. 35.--Off.
37. Those who change colours, 39.-Withered
40.-Mistakes,
43.-Brown.
41.-Reated. 47.--- Negative. 49.-Father,
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, AUGUST 22, 1929.
SNAPSHOTS OF A WOMAN GETTING CUMFORTABLE
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
ARRIVES AT MOVIE "
DROPS HER BAG. HIS GAND PICKS IT UP
TAKES OFF WRAP AND PRAPES IT OVER BACK OF SEAT
TAKES OFF HAT
THINKS SHE HAS DROPPED BAS, BUT FINDS SHE IS SITTING ON IT
FEARS WRAP IS GET- TING WRINKLED AND REARRANGES IT
DROPS HER HAT
ARRANGES HAIR AND DOES OTHER REPAIR WORK
IS SURE WRAP IS GET
DROPS. BAG AND HAT SAYS THERE" AND
TING WRINKLED. MOVES
IT TO LAD
SETTLES BACK COM-· FORTABLY
STARTS NEGOTIATIONS FOR MOVING TO SEATS NEARER THE MIDDLE
8.3
(Copyright, 1920, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
SPORT
TWILIGHT OF THE
GODDESSES.
AND
ATHLETICS.
MITCHELL, ARCHIE COMPSTON
AND HOLLAND TIE. There was a triple tie for the Irish marnock, and Abe Mitchell (private open golf championship at Port- St. Albans), Len Holland (Ger. rard's Cross), and Archie Compston (Coombe Hill) will play off ever thirty-six holes.
A POWERFUL DRAMA OF THE UNDERWORLD!
The star of "The Bl₫ Parade" at his best as the East Side Gangster who wins regeneration against overwhelming odds i
JOHN
GILBERT
in
Four
Walls
JOAN CRAWFORD
AT THE
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
QUEEN'S At 280, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
A LIVELY STORY OF YOUTH!
Thrills galore”in a splendid action picture of modern college life.
RED LIPS
with
MARION NIXON, CHARLES ROGERS
NOTTS ALL RIGHT." Notts had a satisfactory day at Leicester thanks largely to the effort Wimbledon has been furnishing as of Whysali and A. W: Carr, and in much excitement as the most exact- ing of its patrons could demand. stand of Staples (A.), and Lilley. a lesser degree to the sixth wicket From a patriotic point of view, the. The visitors total at the close was men have furnished some pleasant 339 runs for nine wickets. surprises, while the indies-upon
Whysall's valuable 164-bis fourth whom every one thought we could count--have in some conspicuous in-three-figure score this season, and stances fallen below expectation. his second in successive matches
Abe Mitchell, Pat O'Connor, a The sensations began with the defoe runs were never easy to get. Ray, the open ex-champion, shared was the result of excellent cricket, young local professioial, and Edward
Michell (Peggy Saunders). feat of Betty Nuthall by Mrs. Whysall was at the wickets for three the lead at the end of the first two happens that the latter is a player
AT THE hours and twenty minutes, and he days' play, each with an aggregate whom Betty. has never overcome,
scored chiefly by means of drives. of 153. When the third round was but the younger girl has been doing
He hit eight 4's and four 3's.. played, however, Mitchell proved so well of inte that everyone thought!
Carr joined Whyaal! when two the best of the trio, but his score of the old position would he reversed, wicketu had fallen for 3%, and these 77 included three sixes in the out- Betty was soon bothered by her op two men, in a partnership lasting ward half, and but for these lapses ponent's accuracy and length, and two hours and ten minutes, added he would have led the field by a
comfortable margin. As it the disturbance was shown by the 138. failure of her painfully-acquired
Carr was unusually subdued, and. Mitchell's aggregate of 930 for three over-arm service, which repeatedly he occupied two hours and forty rounds was equalled by Len Holland yielded double faults. Mrs. Micheli minutes over his 77. The Notts (Gerrard's Cross) who returned a won by 6-3, 6-3, to be herself heaten captain, however, hit a 6-a straight a couple of days later by Miss Gold-drive over the screen-and eight 4's.
sack:
It Bo
Miss Eileen Bennett's overthrow was oven more unexpected, for it came at the hands of a lady who had held the championship before she was born. Her epoqueror, Mrs. Bundy the Miss May Sutton who gained the title in 1905 and 1907, and has since lived in California. Her success goes some distance to justify those who deny that the play. ers of to-day are so very much better than their predecessors. The strength of her strakes and the skill of her placing are certainly remark- able, and to have retained first-class form so far on in life is something that opens everybody's eyes.'
76.
was,
O'Connor took 70 to finish two atrokes behind the leaders, and he" BIRMINGHAM BOXERS WIN.
was joined on this mark by A. G. Birmingham boxers bent Loudon-Ravers. Archie Compston, and T. ers at Premierland in an interesting G. Renouf. programme.
Billy James, the clever Birming- ham bantam, bent Kid Rich, of Bethnal Green, on points in the main contest of twelve rounds of hard fighting.
ENGLAND BEAT IRELAND.
England beat Ireland by four rubbers to two in the international tennis match at the Fitzwilliam In other bouts of ten rounds Club, Dublin. H. G. N. Lee and N. Walter Hill Birmingham) beat. Latchford, both won their singles. Young Lewis (Bethnal Green) on matches, but England, represented points, Ted Robinson (Birmingham) by E. C. Peters and J. S. Olliff, lost beat Not Franks (Stamford Hill) on the doubles. A feature of the match points, and Alf Shend (Canning was the dual defeat of J. B. Ollif, Town) knocked out Jim Cartwright chosen to represent Great Britain in (Birmingham) in the third round. the American championships.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
THESE NON-STOP CHILDREN.
"My children are simply full of energy, says, the fond mother, as the children dash away, hardly pausing to be introduced; they never seem to tira!" It is perfectly true. They do not cease to play romping games from breakfast to bed-time.
Their mother takes this as evi- dence of abundant health, and en- courages them in their high spirits; but she is making mistake.
The children are usually flushed and wakeful when they go to bed, not from any deep-seated reason of health; but simply because they have been allowed to over-excite them-
This puzzle" took 29 minutes to selves. solve. See bow long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
Bo, 1430 #10.HE DE OOG
3 CABRIOOSAITE
■IYOPARIS DE AZSRET BLLS "MO BEDALE BALLDE
HANDBL-DENEAN
ERSTARS BUS
200040182200K VED BL 80 GBB
They do not know how to amuse themselves otherwise than by rowdy games, and if they sit down to soap," or some other school-room card game, they quickly grow rest less and begin to squabble, though, As a rule, they are very good-tem pered children,
Such a habit can only be acquired during childhood. Our grandparenta were right when they told us after.) a romp to sit down and don't fidget."
reste
CONCERNING · SHOES. ·
Too often shoes are left to take care of themselves, and since no- thing spoils an otherwise immacu- late toilette so much as shabby foot- little care in this direction is well worth while.
желг
It is quite easy to fill up cracks. in patent leather. Any good black polish can be used, and should be rubbed thickly all over the damaged parts. Bee that the polish goes right into the cracks.
Bet the article on one side for at Icast twenty-four hours, at the end of which time the leather, should be rubbed with a piece of cloth. The cracks will be scarcely visible, and the smaller ones will have dis- appeared altogether.
To renew ruede, put the shoes on trees or pack them tightly with soft Paper.
Then dip & clean rag in turpen- tine and with it rub the shoes rather When all the dirt and briskly. grease have vanished put the shoes. on window ledge or
Biry Bome place to dry,
The odour of the turpentine will quickly disappear, and the appear- ance of the shoes will be greatly im proved.
The wise mother teaches her child- ren from the earliest nursery time to appreciate the joys of leisure. When the days of definite are passed she encourages them to spend an hour or so after lunch and again before beg-time with a book,
Above all things, she trains them It is obvious that this romping to avoid that essentially modern childhood is not the beat preparatailing the "non-stop": disposition. tien either for schooldays, when for both boys and girls the time is map- ped out into one unceasing scheme of
doing something," or for modern To remedy this apply occasionally town life, with its noise and its a dressing prepared as follows:- hurry and its endless round of en-. Mix together the white of one egg gagements..
sad one-sixteenth fluid ounce of To face the wear and tear of pre-methylated spirits. sent-day life composedly there is Dissolve a teaspoonful of brown necessary the faculty of interpos sugar in this liquid, afterwards The uppera of glacé leather danc- ing a little ease," the habit of ro- adding sufficient lamphlock to give ing and dress shore tend to become freshing both mind and body during the mass a consistency enabling it shabby long before showing any the intervals of an arduous day with | to be applied to the shoes with a signs of hard wear, moments of complete relaxation.
ponge.
Bad grease marks can often ho re- moved from suede shoes by rubbing the spots very carefully with emery paper or a stiff brush. This brings up the nap again.
(Continued on Previous Column.)
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
WORLD
At. 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
AN EXCEPTIONAL PHOTOPLAY, DRAMATIC THRILLING, ALLURING I
ROD LA ROCQUE
IN
GIGOLO
with
JOBYNA RALSON, LOUISE DRESSER AT THE
STAR
པོ།
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW at 6.30 & 8.20.
SATURDAY at 2.80, 5.30 9.20.
DIRECTORY
"OF
THE FAR EAST
1929
Classified List of Manufacturers and Merchants in Japan,
China, Straits, Etc.
Hong Kong Daily Press Office.