HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"Oh, wonder if the maid threw that last poem of mine in the fire." Impossible You know she can't read English."
Stude (to another who is wearing
A novelist was arguing with a military man.
"I believe, sir,” said the soldier, "in fighting a man with his own weapona. That, sir,' ・is my opinion."
Then tell me," said the more-
sting a wasp!"
his tax in the pouring rain)Waist" how long does it take you to dida't you put your slicker on
Second Stude-You can't expect me to wear a slicker to this dance; it is strictly formal.
Wife John John! Wake up there's a burglar in the House. !
John-Sh. Sh. Don't frighten him out. Let him look around and it be finds anything valuable I'll get up and take it away from him.
al
This seems to beat the tradition- What did you choose that book
to be read out of to for!"
A customer demanded a specific brand of meat paste.
"Well, well observed the pro- prietor of the general stores as he shuffled round the shop, "that's just the brand we have nothing else of but!"
A man who was golfing on a Scots course, and playing very badly, too," was at some pains to impress upon his enddie that he usually showed very much better form...
After taking twelve to one hole, he said, defensively, that he had accomplished it in four the previ ous day.
What exclaimed the caddie. "It's true," said the player; with my third I lay dead on the green.
"Aye," said the boy, " with aur- prise, no doubt."
N
"I tell you," said the explorer to the crowd in the hotel smoking room, "you can't imagine what things are like in the Aretio re- giens.
Mother was entertaining companyOh, I don't know," said one. in the drawing room when Betty "Eren if we haven't seen it, we elattered noisily down from the can inmagine what it feels like.'*
Dursery,
"I doubt it. It's impossible until you've seen it; until you've stood
"Go upstairs again, and come down very quietly," said her mothere a small, insignificant atom. ther. A short pause followed, and surrounded by vast stretches of Betty reappeared, saying.. didn't hear me this time, Mother, did you
You
white
"Yes, yes, I know. I've been like that."
ask
"No," replied her mother, "you came down without a sound, as every lady should. Betty."
"Yes," returned Betty, I slid down the banister !"
One of the partners in a big and very prosperous firm of stock brokers has a brother in the tailer ing trade. The two brothers see very little of each other, although the tailor often calls at the office of his wealthy brother.
The other day, annoyed by his brother's refusal to leave his private office to see him, the tailor insisted upon speaking to him on the tele phone.
"Is that you, Sidney?" asked the tailor.
"Yes, I am Mr. So-and-so," came the reply. "Who are you? I'm very busy."
You may not remember me; this is your brother Nathan. I met you in our father's house."
Really! Where was it, may I
First time I appeared in pub- lie in a dress-shirt
Say,
Coach (between halves) you, what's the matter with you? Didn't I tell you to kick over the sidelines so their quarter-back couldn't run the ball back? I been tellin' you that all week, but no you gotta boct it straight down the
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY,
AUGUST 19, 1929.
SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY PUTTING THE HAMMER AWAY
·BY GLUTAS WILLIANIS
| LISTENS TO SPEECH BY {DAD ON WHO LEFT THE İHAMMER ON THE LIVING
| ROOM TABLE", "TAKE IT RIGHT"
| BACK TO SHED WHERE IT
SELONGS
· MISCALCULATES AND
CATCHES MÁMIZER ON BE HOPS AROUND IN ORCLES
STARTS FOR SHED, BAL- HEARS EDDIE SELZTAL
ANCING HAMMER
ON FINGER,
CALL TO COME OVER AND SEE WHAT HE GOT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. DROPS HAM- MER AND STARS
- SOME TIME LATER, AFTER": REACHES SHED AND DE-
TAKING OFF SHOE TO SEE - ODES HE MIGHT AS WHETHER ANY BONES
WERE BROKEN, PICKS UP HAMMER AND LIMPS ON
WELL DRIVE SOME
NAILS
(Copyright, 1929, by zyne Ball Syndicate, Inc)
PICTURES
Fritz Lang has been at work in
HALF HOUR LATER, PNDS HAMMER AGAIN AND RE- SUMES WAY TO SHED SPINNING HAMMERIN AIR AND CATCHING 17
RESTORES HAMMER TO IS PLACE AT LAST AND PECIDES TO BORROW SIRZY
· DRIVER, WHICH EVENTUALLY TERNS UP ON LINING ROOM TABLE
AND PLAYS.
Ernest W. Johnson, Hollywood
screen acting when the demand is made upon him, has been cast for a small part in Redskin," Par- amount's natural colour picture starring Richard Dix. Johnson
field right in his arms, you mush-Berlin directing a new film designstudio property boy who turns to hend !'"
Punter-"Aw, listen, coach, I ed to surpass all his previous ain't got a chance. I kicked the efforts, including The Nibelungen ball the way you said every time, but that old pigskin ud curve in,
**Metropolis" and "The that's all."
Spy." This new picture, entitled Coach Oh. I see it was the "The Woman in the Moon," is ad- wind, huh?"
Sign,"
son's chief previous role was the for little Navajos, which had been lent for picture purposes. John- part of Smith, the Salvation Army man in the Emil Janning's starring picture" The Street of Sin."
Punter-"No, it's that quarter- apted from a novel written by the plays a janitor at a government which is now showing in London is
back. Didn't you hear him yell | every time I kicked that dama pigskint Don't you know he's the champion hog-caller in Iowa"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
Horizontal.
1. Social class.
6. Towel, weight.
11-Food allotment.
12-Unlocked.
34.-English river. 15.-Domesticated. *17.—Negative,
18.Jewel!! $ 19-Weary.
20.-Floor covering.
21.-Comparative
ending.
-Unspoken, but understood. 23-Fruit center.
94.-Growled,
28-Round rools.
27.-Mottled.
28-Hindu deity.
29-Heavy corde. 31.-Is present at 34-Ages.
35.-Religious document. 36-Egyptian God 37-Close friend. 38. Part of face. 39.-A rodent. And 40.-French for and, 41-City in Florida,
42.To drink heavily. 43-Tradition... 45. Loope. 47.-Is fond. 48-Avarice.
Vertical, 1Largo cave. 2-Small particle. 3. Eril deed. 4-Toward
5.-Lared. 6-Heavenly body. 7-Imitated. 8.A.colour. 9.-Article. 10.-Term of office. 11. Scolds.
a-Old Venetian rulers.
18 19
10.-Moistureless.. 19.-Stories
136
20.-Pertaining to Italian city. 2-Endeavours.
23. To crave.
23. To territy,
23-Trench, 29-Declaring, 20.To drive back. 30-Spoke in public. 31-Genus of herba. 32-Adorned, 33.-Satisfies.. ".
33.-Tailless amphibians.
8.-Possemive pronoun
33. A flower.
41-Encountera,
42.-A digit.
44.-To leave.
46 Conjunction.
This puzzle took 10 micutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
JED SADNÉ DOE AGO BEZUI ANE
ARIDO BO SZABBAS- ZGJR 291%1002000DC 15 BAL AIR NO DEBEKHZR8 807 JB0D 129 7008
ARAFID213.101 HAD TELLIDHE
director's wile, Thea von Harbou.
Elaborate preparations are afoot to make the fantasy a spectacular werk Some of the finest German flm stars are to play in it. Gerda aurus, who did such good work Willy Fritch, fresh
Indian-school-in this case a real school on a real reservation. The "Redskin
company is on location at the Canyon de Chelly for in northeastern Arizona, the heart of the Navajo reservation and 100 miles from the nearest rail point: Johnson is first property man with his work when Victor Schertzinger, the director, asked him to play the role. The company at the time was making interior scenes in the Chin Lee school, the government school
The all-talking. Paramount pie ture "Nothing but the Truth" based upon the well-known stage farce by James Montgomery. It is full of amusing situations which, however, by reason of sameness and repetition, tend towards the end to become a little tedious. The ac tion has been directed by Mr. Vie tor Schertzinger. The dry incisive Dix fits admirably into the princip al role-the part of a man who un- dertakes for a wager to 'speak nothing but the truth for twenty. four hours.
in "The Spyarian Rhapsody," the troupe, but gladly laid aside ly humorous manner of Richard)
from the and Fritz Rasp of Metropolis" will have leading roles. It is ex- pected that the film will be ready for release during the forthcoming Berlin sensor," in May and June.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
BUSINESS GIRLS WE ALL LIKE.
been having a tiff with her best hor, HEALTH AND BEAUTY IN and has consequently spent & sleep- less and tearful night..
We offer sympathy and helpful counsel, and lot where there might have been a breach with our pal thers is but a closer friendship, born of our forbearance and understand ∙ing..
Then there is the day we decide to don our new outfit, in which we feel we look particularly well.
A Golden Silence,
It certainly is trying, to say the "To see ourselves as others see Icast of it, when Miss Sharpe re- us" may be very useful on occasion.marks that it is a pity we have I have come to the conclusion, how. chosen that particular shade for our ever, that the greatest asset in a ensemble, as it gives our complexion business girl's career is the ability such a yellowish hus! to see the other person's point of view.
For instance, our chief asks us tó stay late at the office just when we are wanting to leave very promptly. If we would but stop to think that he in probably just as much put out as we are it would be better for ourselves and everyone concern-
ed
Manney Mean Múch,
It will not "make him feel very pleased to be dictating letters to an obviously resentful young woman.
In fact, it will probably react upon
However, we close our lips firmly and try to think how hard it must be for poor Miss Sharpe to admire she has such a struggle to keep her another girl's smart clothes when self on an inadequate salary. In this case silence is golden,'
And so in all the small trials and troubles that inevitably crop up in the daily round try to remember that there are always two sides to a question.
Dance, Little Lady--
DANCING.
To possess both health and beanty is. the desire of every woman, but so often the pursuit of the second entails the loss of the first
There is, however, one beauty treatment which gives health as well; namely, dancing,
Even ball-room dancing is most beneficii), but better is either Greek or operatic
styles gives slenderness, suppleness The practice of either of these and grace, the bright eyes and rich, glowing complexion only to be seen in the woman of perfect health.
For all the returned femininity of our clothes, a slender figure is still necessary to show them to advan slender figure." tage. And dancing will give that
The Dally Dozeni.
There are exercises which help to reduce almost every part of one's body. For instance, high-kicking and leg-swinging reduce the hips," besides teaching one to walk with an easy, graceful swing.......
Equally beneficial are the other exercises. There are those which make alender and graceful feet and
the said young woman at some Dancing is the best way of coun-lega, arms, wrists and hands. Those future date in a highly unpleasant teracting. the harm caused by bend which include bending and twisting minner!
Bunday king over a typewriter or a desk all the body give suppleness. So put yourself in his place, meta day
The slow natural movement exer- phorically speaking, and make theBesides giving you, health and cises of Greek dancing give balance best of a bad job-by being cheerful beauty, the practice of operatic or and poise. and willing
Greek dancing will make you a far Again, we enter the office on a
better performer in the ball-room. It may be thought that Swedish Exercises will have given you the drill is just as beneficial as dancing.. lovely morning, feeling fall of the suppleness that makes you easy to but the way in which drill exercises joy of spring. Cheerfully we greet dance with," the poise and balance are performed tends to produce our own particular chum: "Hullo, without which one cannot be a good jerky, rather than graceful, move- old thing, isn't it a topping morn dancer, and, alter, having mastered menta ing I'm Feeling in the pink."
Merry and Bright,
the more elaborate steps of operatić Each kind of sport exercises one. dancing, you will find new ball-room particular set of muscles, whereas ones quite easy to learn
dancing exercises all the muscles, tenching them to work in onison with other.
Should you decide to take up dancing, attend at least one class every week.
Instead of an equally gay res panas, however, we are amazed and hurt to have a sappy remark hurled at us to the effect that "It is all
Dancing is especially good for the I, however, you have not the business girl, who has not much time very well for people to feel merrytime or the money for this, then for exercise.
and bright when they never have any worries."
Now is the time to cultivate our gift. We check the biting retort that rises to our lips. We prob ably find that the poor lamb has
take a short course of lessons and continually practise what you learn Half-an-bour's dancing in one's at home.
own room can easily be managed, Radio or gramophone music for when a visit to the tennis club or your exercising will infinitely add to dance ball is impossible. your enjoyment.
(Continued on Precious Column.)
A COMEDY OF LOVE & AVIATION !
WILLIAM FOX
[ "Pretentün
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AT THE
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FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 280, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20,
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