HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
He had a terribly bad memory. One day he was at a dinner party, when he was suddenly heard to ex claim :---
"Oh, bother I didn't want to come to-night. I meant to forget, and I forgot to forget!"
Lady: "I am returning the clock you sold me because it dues not keep correct time."
Clerk: It is a good time-kee per, madam. Ven de liddle han' iss on four, an' de clock strikes twelve, it is always nine o'clock."
An actor had married a wealthy woman and bad retired. One day he and his wife were walking in the street when they passed two actors who had known the husband. "There goes Bill," said one of them, sneeringly. with his labour. saving device.".
Mrs Gabbit: "Well, what did the docter any?"
Mr. Gabbita
"Told me I need ed art, and to keep away from
work for a month."
"Ridiculous!!
¡
He had dined rather too well, ao one of his friends undertook to sec him home. When they arrived at the street in which he lived, his friend said to him:-
"I say, old chap, what's the mumber of your house??!
Don't arsh silly questions," ar- swered the other. Ish on the
at
The play was indeed bad; is fell Aatter than boarding-house soup. After the first act many left the theatre: at the end of the second most of the others, rose and started put. The famous critic rose from his seat, raised his hand, and shout- "Stop As the astonished ed
Women audience turned he said, and children first!"
"Now, boys," asked the school- master, what do you know about Hamlet's uncle1"
"Please, sir, he was better than anyone els at shooting birds," re- plied one of the boys.
inikes asked the teacher. Well, sir, I read in a book that
Indeed What think that'
"I know: I told him that was the he did murder most foul.'" only rest I had?""
Portly Knight of the Read: "I'm
you
"Just fancy you having business
in this part of the world," mur-
that only the day before yesterday you were in Brendon, where we first met!
reduced to this, madam, because Imured the girl. And how funny had to give up my job with the; circus as a contortionist."
Housewife: Why did you have "to give it up."
Well, I couldn't make both ends meet, madam."
Would-be contributor-Here's my manuscript which I offered you a Jear ago.
Editor-But if I refused it a year ngo, what's the use of bringing it back now!
Contributor-Well, you have had a year's experience since ther
Tis funny, isn't it?"
"And did you think of me ' "Yes, I did. I said to myself, Now isn't this where What's-her- name lives?"
At a dinner the guests were dis- cussing whether women or men were the more trustworthy in hiusiness. can keep a secret.". said one man scornfully.
"I don't know so much about
No woma
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS MONDAY, AUGUST 5, 1929.
SUBURBAN HEIGHTS-IMAGINARY HEAT
LOOKS AT THERMOMETER
OUTSIDE LONG-ROOM WINDOWY
SAYS, WELL FOR PITY'S SAKE. HE HAD NO IDEA ∙IT WAS SO HOT, MS
93°
MOPS BROW AND GOES OUT TO SEE IF IT'S COOLER ON VERANDA"
COMES IN AND SAYS THEY'D BETTER SHUT ALL WINDOWS, 1175. COOLER INDOORS
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
· SHEDS COAT MUTTERING FANS HIMSELF, RE- THAT 19S CERTAINLY FLECTING HOW EASY IT I SOING TO BE A
SCORCHER
LOOKS AT THERMOMETER AGAIN. FINDS HE EITHER MISREAD IT BEFORE OR THE SUN WAS ON IT, IT READS ONLY 78° NOW
(Cepyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, In
PICTURES
that." retored the forbidding-look-stage play is n For ten years, ten long nad ing woman sitting opposite him. lean years," cried the writer, "I"I've kept my age a secret ever have been writing this drama, since I was 24.
"Oh." he replied. "you'll let it ehanging a word here, a line there. working on it till I was weary out one day, though" from the toil."
All work and
Too bad, too bad," the pro- ducer mumured. no play.
་་
I doubt it." she answered. When a woman has kept secret
Probably the most successful screen adaptation of any legitimate romantic fan- tasy, The Enchanted Cottage,” based on Sir Arthur Pinero's de- lightful essay in the whimsical. The plot lends itself very happily to film purposes. For example, it is so easy on the films to make
and distortion into beauty and shapeliness. Transformations of features that are difficult, if not im- possible, on the stage proper be- come immediately convincing through the magic of photographic delusion.
for 20 years, she can keep it for- the change from physical ugliness
ever."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
11.
3
+
5
ប
12
1#
14
16
17 13
"20
10
15
19:
21
24
95
20
30
39
13
35 36
37
38
40
41
41
AB
47 48
50
Ky!
31
ACICES.
1. Famous race.
3.--Bird call,
6.-Famous racecourse.
9.--Bottle.
10.-Animal. 12.--The lot. 13-Hobby.
15.-Accidents."
17. Its."
19.--Walk. 22-Weariness, 24-Girl.
28-Defeat.
99.-Metal.
30.--Steal.
31,-Before
39.--Fruit.
34.-Bort of laugh.
35.-Highly finished. 41.-Fancy.
44.Burden for 10 ac. 45-Bank officials.
48. Father.
47.-Small bird.
49.-Pull along.
50.-Another word for 12 ac. 3-Ways out..
52-Ask.
53.-Famous poet.
DORA.
1.-Article of faith. 2.-Measures.
3.-Gulfs.
4.- Be ill.
5.-Kind of nut.
7-Smash.
8.-Drunk.
10.-First part of 43 down.
11. Feminine name.
13.--King of Egypt. 14-Scottish river. 16.Graas, 19. Make plain. 20.-Large nuraber.. 21.-Wives. 23-Italian town. 24-Cut off. 25.Many waters.
11
45
27.-Over.
སྙ་
23
8
26
26
31
1224
33
42
43
53
43
Mr. John S. Robertson, who has directed the picture from an ad- aptation by Josephine Lovrett, bas discharged his heavy responsibility with admirable taste. The senti- ment is never stressed, and the humour is natural and irresistible. The acting of both Rickard Barthel- mess and May AcAvoy is mutually brilliant and co-operative.
Feodor Chaliapine waved to Al- bert Coates, and Albert Coates way-. ed back-while a vast audience
|
* IS TO BE FOOLED, HE
THOUGHT IT WAS FAIRLY COOL TILL HE LOCKED AT THERMOMETER.
SUPS ON COAT AND 60ES QUIETLY OUT
FOR A WALK
AT TER
THE GREATEST HUMAN DRAMA EVER SCREENED/
A
TREAT
FOR YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE Į
UNCLE TOM'S CABIN
QUEEN'S
A HARRY POLLARD Production
Tri Milion Deb. Tart in money and twa enz. In rizwe spent to make sha wonder at the schmalemode
TO-DAY TO WEDNESDAY SPECIAL TIMES:
2.80, 5.00, 7.15 & 9.80.
SPECIAL PERFORMANCE FOR CHILDREN on WEDNESDAY at 10.30 am.
GUYAS WILLIAMS
7-10
Prices: Children 30 cts.
AND PLAYS.
the wealth of gesture, the flashing One scene is laid in a maternity eye, and the magnetic eye of the home, in which we see the anxieties Great Actor in this electric pre- of a father, waiting for his first sentation of an insane monarch.. child to be born, turned into a Ne other actor in the world, on or subject of mirth! Another waiting off the operatic stage, could convey parent boasts of his six, while mat- so directly the passionate melod-ter-of-fact nurses busy themselves rama of the part.
around. A third parent is unwer- ried. In the "first scene the tragic
Chaliapine's voice is not what it
old
was Coates knew that when he happening of a to-morrow's brideg- waved in enthusiastic encourage room hearing that bis ment. For Coates, the Anglo- sweetheart is in a maternity hospit Russian, had conducted the great al, and that he is the father, is bass in the days of his prime. But also turned into humour. Illegiti there is still beauty, and signifi-macy is not a funny thing, Al- eance, and drama, and that in describable something in Chaliapi- ne's voice that told the audience that they were listening to one of the great personalities of the cen- tury
There was, in Salvatore Bac caloni, a Varlaam of presence and magnificent voice; his performance, was superb.
though Brieux might have used this subject for a great, serious play, it is not one at which people should
nigger. Even as it was, the play' had been greatly toned down since the manuscript arrived from America.
During act II. a woman left the theatre. She WIS a maternity nurse, called suddenly to a real case!
So fine, indeed, that it over- shadowed the rest of the cost, such is Mlle. Kodacera as the Ezure-
Some of Little Accident" is vitch, and Mile. Danieli as his charming, some it is nicely senti- sister. Coates conducted at times mental, and all of it is interest- in a way that suggested a certaining. The bridegroom hovers be- tween the two women and gets en- laxity, and Moussorgsky's score the Rimsky-Korsakoff sounded a little flat and undecided in the opening scenes. But the magnetism of Chaliapine baulked all criticism.
集
version-
tangled with a third. While he feels the love of a father gradually growing in him, the mother, an art student, treats the affair, first of all, as a thing to be forgotten and wants the child adopted. Disgust- ed, the father steals it.
thundered applause at the world's greatest dramatic singer for the revival of "Boris Godounov at Covent Garden recently.
Those two gestures linked-in A magic manner that no words may tell the Russia of the last of the Czara, the England of to-day, and Lynne Overman, the popular the Russia of the maddest of the American comedian, has returned to Czars. No other actor in the world! London in Little Accident," one could touch Chaliapine in this of the most unusual play seen in Moussorgsky tragedy. Shades of England for years, at the Apollois and smart as are many of the Irving and Tree! There was all Theatre.
In the end, of course, they marry. No, this story, by Floyd Deli and Thos. Mitchell, is not one for comedy, cleverly written though it
lines.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
23.-Number.
33.-Fag-end.
31-Learned science. 36.-Put down
WOMAN'S DEFINITION OF IDEAL HOME.
THESE GIRLISH GRAND- MOTHERS.
[BY LUCIEN LELONG.]
37.First appearances.. 34.-Baby's orchestra. 30.-Heel over, 40.Backbone. 41.-India. 42.-Novel.
43. Tremulous tree. 48.-Letters of indebtedness,
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
MOCCASIN HUMBUG
A ORANEEN USE NOMAD IBM MIDDEN
DI
CAP
REST AND GOOD COOKING.
Simplicity and Tact. How do these grandmothers manage about the important subject of dress 1
".
Adults: Usualt Matinee Prices.
LAUGHS & THRILLS ON A' LINER!
Reginald
DENNY
AT THE
WORLD
with MARIAN NIXON
OUT ALL NIGHT
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 8.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
THE POPULAR COMEDY TEAM-
KARL DANE
AND
GEORGE K. ARTHUR
AT THE
in a splendid mystery-comedy
DETECTIVES
STAR
FINAL SHOWİNGS TO-DAY
At 5.30 & 9.20.
HOW I WASTE MY MONEY! A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE
[BY A LONDON BUSINESS GIBL.]
Their motto is simplicity, closely
One hears such a lot these days i allied to tact, and a deep knowledge about those unmarried business girls "She looks so young."
of themselves. A style is adopted and the way they waste their money. "Possibly; nevertheless the is n to agree with their silhouette and But I know these accusations are grandmother.
their personality. They think more
quite untrue, as I am a working One hears comments like these of perfect harmony between person, girl myself, and I do not think I occasionably. Not often, however, I character and appearance than of
waste much of my three pounds a because in truth the girlish grand-1 the very newest mode.
week. mother is a rarity. That there are Thie scheme established, - we. There are three big things to be any at all is a present-day miracle. realise at once that there are quan- | done with those three pound notes. No one, would guess the age of tities of models, designed primarily First come tube season tickets, many grandmothers if it were not for younger women, which are ap for the memories of their contempropriate to women no longer young, poraries, less marvellously well pre-granted the premises of a slim and Mrs. Byng Kearic (Lady Mayores served, who delight in recalling supple figure. It is obvious that the of Birmingham) ia her presidential their debuts and the first time that colour should be somewhat more address to the annual conference of they were seen at a ball, or even the subdued, the length of the skirt the Association of Teachers of ceremony of their wedding.
slightly greater, the decolleté should Domestic Subjects at Birmingham Unbelievably slender, exquisite" of
shoulder. emphasised the need of teaching complexion, with a carriage like display less generously the heck and pride and pleasure in housewifery. that of a lily on its stem, enthu
If possible, pearls, real pearls, As to furnishing, she said, there siasm, gaiety, taste for the latest should be worn around the throat. novelty-everything about these rare women evokes youth-youth that is
own daughtery.
was no standard of right or wrong, what was considered good at one
which are bought quarterly, and which seem to come. round again always with amazing rapidity,
Pay and Hope.
am a nice girl! And in diggings you
Clothes are bought, not to waste one's hard-earned money, but to: D P EN REQUEST
It is not quite fair not to give your look neat and as smart as possible. RELENT SA
done for you, so you give them as people some return for all they have |A[V]E[ {T} [CONCEALED
(VE)
much as you can afford at least, For the afternoon dressing all the nice gizle de, and I hope I GAME NONCE SORE period being thought atrocious more striking in them than in their woman who is past her first youth
is more difficult.
At the bridge have no choice. You just pay out the next generation. They could not
table or at a concert she should be and hope for the best! ODE POM ORB
change the taste of grown people.
more elaborately dressed than her There are lunches to be paid for. All they could do was to train the REND MINUS NOSE
daughter. It is advisable to hold to five or six days a week, as the case young to like simplicity. The ideal
black. But if she wants a charge may be Dr. Newsholme, medical officer of home was one which made the new ARTIFICER HUM IN comer feel at ease, where there were health for Birmingham, spoke or the from this most appropriate of allThen, of course, they save their comfortable resting-places for tired principles underlying the teaching afternoon colours, she may adopt money as well, all the year round, or else how could they, when their VENAL RETOLD Embs, something pleasant for tired of domestic hygiene, and Miss Hilda any tone of beige that is becoming
Hats should be chosen to shade fortnight's holiday comes, pack up oyes to look upon, and appetising Shaw, staff lecturer, National Train UNRAVEL MAR
TE
food to refresh the weary body. ing School of Cookery, discussing rather than to reveal the face. A with a joyful heart and join one of All these were the housewife's electricity in the schools, called grandmother abould not wear a hat those numerous tours to Italy or LOANEE LAVATION concern, and if she did her work attention to the improper use of with line across her forehead. I France or Switzerland
The answer is that the business well she was adding materially to electric light, which she said was she prefers a hat without a brim, NET RYOKEL 0] the health and happiness of the ruining children's sight. Old shades let her veil its edge with a little girl of to-day does not weste her nation Home-making must be louk-being used with up-to-date lamps of half-way veil. This giver mystery monoy-she knows only too well that ed upon as a genuine profession.great, glare, she declared, was the and charm oven to slightly faded if she did ehe would suffer from, the
results. eyes. (Continued at foot of next column), greatest curse of modern fighting.
ASSIST TENDENCY
OF..
UNIVERSAL'S $2,000,000 MASTERPIECE
UNCLE
TOM'S CABIN
WILL BE GIVEN AT THE
QUEEN'S
ON
WEDNESDAY
AT 10.30 AM.
A splendid opportunity for the children to see
in motion pictures one of the greatest storie: ever written I
:
Prices Children: 80° etä Adults, Usual Matinee Prices.