HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
i
Charles: "When I took up
You should put your The Bore: golf the doctors gave me only two foot down."
Richard: You don't know my years to live!
wit. If I put my foot down she'd yince me 1 hadir't a leg to stand
The Other Chopwfully); long ago was that?"
How
I called to make an appoint. mens with the dentist."
"He's out just now."
Ah! When do you expect
to be out again."
on.
Two American women were dis- cussing a new.singing tutor,
"I like that Italian who is teach- himing your daughter-such charming
manners," said the first.
Country Lad (at post-office): If Ah post this 'ere letter to-neet, will it get to Lunnon in t'uot ing
P.0. Official: *** Certainly," "Well, that's where tha's wrong. It's goin' to Sheffield.
Little Albert came home from! schoal with a new book under his
L}],»
"It's a prize, mother," he said.
A prize! What for, dear For natural history. Teacher asked the how many legs as estrich had and I wid three,"
"But an ostrich has two legs." "I know that now, mother, but the rest of the class said four, so Dj was the nearest."
Mistress (temother of prospective maid)
"And is your daughter really ex- peri-nerd!
Ph, yes. You see, she has firen at home for six months looking after the pigs.'
130
An enterprising young financed a play, and when opening hour on the first night drew near he personally superintended opera
tions.
He called the roll
all ready?
"Yes, sir"
Box-offies
"Programme girls ready?"
Yes, sir.
"Cloak-room
staffs, barmaids
and attendants all ready?"
"Yes, sir."
Then ding wide the doors." The only entrants wore two small boys who wished to know if they could come in an one free pass.
29
12
13
Yes, he is bourgeois, you know,"* replied the other.
Boutgrois Let me sre, that's ene higher than a Baron, isn't it
The difference between a film pro- dner and à l'niversity astronomer 1 that when the film producer dis- covers a new star he makes some mistery.
Phyllis (yawning): "Well, what shall we do this evening?"
Algyta-think hard"
N. let's do something you can
do, too!"
Would you call him a mean man
Mean? Why, he weighs every word he utters!
Considera herself a most ex- clasive person, doesn't she 7"
My dear, the creature even sings duets alone."
COME LAMY: A shilling each way' on Hanumbad, please."
Bookmaker: 'Ammond's
cricketer, not an 'orse,"
Dear me I must have stuck the pin in the wrong column.
I wish you would come and help me select some trousers, old man.'
"I don't believe my taste is any better than yours."
No, but your eredit is."
Chunsel (eross-examining pre- judlord witness): "I suggest that Mrs. Giggins is anathema to you.”
Witness: "Then you suggest It's only my friends as wrong. by their Christian names!"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE."
19
$420
58
136
8
30
19
28
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, JULY 30, 1929.
SNAPSHOTS OF A MOTHER ON THE FOURTH
NERVOUSLY WATCHES JUNIOR GO OUT WITH HIS FIRECRACKERS
GOES TO WINDOW TO REMIND JUNIOR TO BE AT LEAST TEN FEET. AWAY WHEN THE FIRE- CRACKERS EO OFF
SPORT
"MINISTER OF SPORT,"
has
its
TRIES TO KEEP HER NIND ON HER SEVANG
CANT SEE JUNIOR PACES UP AND DOWN WONDERING WHERE HE IS AND WISHING HE'D COME HOME
3
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
THRILLING ACTION, LOVE INTEREST
GwYAS
WILLIAMS
-and comedy merged
into E delightful
HEARS A GANS " RUSHES TO WINDOW AND SEES THAT JUN- "ICA IS STILL ALL RIGHT
HEARS JUNIOR COME IN, IS SURE HE MUST
BE HURT OR HE WOULD NOT HAVE COME
HOME
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
AND
RETURNS TO SEWING - SITS WITH IT.IN LAP LISTENING TO THE
BANGS
FINDS HE JUST CAME IN FOR MORE TIRE- CRACKERS. FIGURES UP, HOW MANY MORE
·HOURS BEFORE THIS DAY WILL BE OVER
ATHLETICS.
ENGLISH BOXERS WIN.
EMPIRE GOLF TEST,
Two champions of France were Captain C. J. S. Fraser (Maymyo Golf Club, Barma), who holds beaten at the National Sporting Club recently. Andre Regis, the commission in the Indian Army, holder of their bantam-weight title, won the Lucifer Golfing Society's was out-pointed by Nel Tarlton, of Walton Liverpool, and Robert Tassin, the feather-weight champion, was_de- Empire tournament
feated in similar manner by Dom Heath, by a margin of ten strokes. Fraser, who was handicapped at Volante, of Liverpool. six, had an agregate of 152 net.
at
D. A. Wilkinson (Ceylon) (4) Major G.. H. Anderson (Kenya Colony) (9), and O. B. Knight (Cairo) (9) shared second place at
16 net.
To his many friends Professor P. J. Baker is always "Philip," and, whatever his (or their) polities may be, every sportsman will be glad to see him take his sent in Parliament as the Labour member for Coventry. There is no man who has served his country better ar packed more into a useful life; than has Philip Baker, and no one' can las imagined who would better ill the post of Minister of Sport, if Labour farms the Ministry, which
counterpart 151 France.
Professor Baker went up to King's College, Cambridge, in 1908: the following year he took office as hon. secretary, C.U.A.C., and from 1910 to 1912 was president, During those years he won the half inile three times and the mile once ngainst Oxford, and in 1912 he ran a race outside university athletics which will never be forgotten. That year Great. Britain sent to Stockholm what was probably the weakest Olympic team that has ever left its shores, and perhaps gur smallest chance was that of winn-
were over, but the first" post-war ing the 1,500 metres. That A, N. S. Jackson, the Q.U.A.C. president. Olympiad at Antwerp, 1020. found succeeded in beating a bunch of him back in harness, co-operating American record-breakers was main with General Kentish in evolving ly due to the unrehearsed and self-order from chaos Baiang the British sacrificing example of pace-making shown by Baker.
Then came the war, and Baker a Quaker, took a Friends' ambul ance out to the front Many peo- ple thought that his running days (Continued in wert Column.)
the
MOTOR-BOAT RACING.
Miss Riovo II.
GA Woo Thames the first heat of the race for the Duke of York's motor-boat trophy Newg was second, and Bulldog third Miss Bioco's speed was nearly thirty-seven miles an hour.
"'
Seahopper VI. won an outboard race, Itsit VII being second, and Miss Norwich third.
team," and again subordinating his own chances of Olympic honours to another fine piece of pace-making that enabled Albert Hill to win his laurels. He was also que of those responsible for the promotion of the British Empire v U.S.A. mateb and the formation of the Achilles Club.
"
I
Tarlton gave an excellent display. hit he would have been even better if in the early stages he had left leas of the leading to his opponent, and done a little himself. He is young, very tall, and the possessor of an exceptional reach, but it is doubtful whether he is yet in the class of Teddy Baldock. He had a "tough and plucky opponent in. Begis, but what he needs to do now is perfect the accuracy of his right hand, and develop a trife more aggressiveness. His style is old English, in that he stands bolt upright, and meets every attack with a prodding left.
The Volante-Tassin confeat was not so attractive. It opened well enough, but after the fourth round it dragged badly. Volante was a clear winner, but he, like his stable mate. Tarlton, will be much nearer championship when he cultivates the habit of doing most of the fore- ing.
MILLWALL FLY-WEIGHT;
Ernie Jarvis, the Millwall fis- weight, who is matched in a return bout with Johnny Hill under cham- pionship conditions, fought a terri he draw with__Bid Walley, of Singapore, at The Ring recently, The contest was all action from be ginning to end.
PRESENTED B WILLIAM
story of the adven- tures of a certain $100 note!
From the story by
RICHARD CONNELL -
New
Year's Eve
Adith
MARY ASTOR CHARLES MORTON
CARLE FOXS
FLORENCE SAKE
DRAMA ON THE FRINGES OF THE UNDERWORLD!
AT THE
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
QUEEN'S A 230, 5:10, 7.16 & 9.20,
NO CINEMA IN THE EAST SHOWS A WIDER RANGE OF PICTURES THAN THE QUEEN'S THEATRE.
AT THE
WORLD
The thumping. bumping little man luot
the supreme comedy of the screen !—
CHARLIE CHAPLIN
IN
THE CIRCUS
A PICTURE TO SEE AGAIN AND AGAIN! TO-DAY & TO-MORROW At 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20,
WHAT HAPPENED AT MIDNIGHT! "An empty house "so they thought. Yet inside there were five people strange lights and weird shadows
fear chilled the bones of the deacon !
AN EXCITING MYSTERY STORY!
WASHINGTON
13 SQUARE
}
AT
THE
with JEAN HERSHOLT, 'ALICE JOYCE.
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
STAR
At 5.80 & 9.20.
Horizontal.
1--Sick. 4.-French for the.
6.-While.
8.-Explosive noise.
11.-Defect in vision.
13.-Perfumed hair dressing,
15.South Sea canoe.
16-duice of plants.
Melody,
19.-By.
--Thong. 22-Part of inänitive.
23.-Pronoun.
24.-Hardened.
20.-Home of Abraham,
28.-A sore.
30.-Scarce.
32. To hasten.
33.-To attempt..
24.-Slumbers. 37.-Upright.
40.-Symbol for silicon. 41.-Hallying cries. 43.-Note of scale.
44. To depart.
40.-Growing out.
47.-Compass point.
50.-Skill."
31.-Finishes.
48.Undeveloped flowers.."
33-To draw forth.
55.-To anger.
57.-Stady
38.-A continent (abbr.).
39.-To act. €0.--fondle
Vertical.
1.-Demon. 2.-Lyre-shaped,
3 Plunder.
4.-Symbol for lithium. B.Church festival. 6.-Frightens.
Thus.
8. To separate.
eHateful
12-Father. 14.-Mother.
M-Part of " to be." 2.-Spire.
21.-Soluble compound in food. 23.-Providing that.
21-Boils on eye.
25.- Mends.
27.-Prefix: again.
29.-Feucinine pronoun. 31-A grain,
31.-Steam ship.
25-Botany strap-shaped part, 35-Musical composition. 37. Having head-gear.
35. Large hammer.
89.-Symbal for tantalum.
12-A fish
ca.-Nove god.
4-To break suddenly, 48.-Sleeping place. 43.-One of the Southern U.S.
(initials). 51.-Comparative suffix. 52-Complete collection. 34.-Exista. 58.-Negative.
This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you
to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
RA
1415
RATLE 227112 O C
BLAD NAJDE
FURVE
ET GATES
ZEARDED'
RZE
RA G
PE VES
YER
AGE
EDGE 33 KO 3 TOE ROV 89 49 IB
AIGE
EGULE FLATER
DOKED BAYER:
J
THE WOMAN'S CORNER
YOUR HOME AND MINE.
RINK TUM DIDDY AND
RAREBITS.
Whenever a particularly tempting supper delicacy is to be conjured from the chafing dish, and the customary Welsh rarebit does not seem to fill the bill, a strangely named dish-Rink Tum Diddy- may be presented with the assur- ance that it will be a source of wonderment and delight to guests.
It can stand without the aid of many upholstering dishes, and its savory odour will stir the most jaded appetite.
one cup of cheese; und salt. When the cheese has melted, remove from the fire, add two well-beaten eggs, stirring constantly," and return to fire until the mixture is hot and thickened. Serve on toast or crisp crackers
Celery is used in the tollowing rarebit: Add three tablespoons of
Menus SUPPRAS
Rinktum Diddy Hot Muffing Stuffed Apple Salad Chocolate Layer Cake "
Coffec
Welsh Rarebit Creamed Cauliflower Lettuce and. Tomato Salad Apple Sauce Cake Hot Cocoa or Coffee
The following recipe I have found to be a good one: Stew one chopped. onios in two tablespoons of butter for several minutes, then add one chopped green pepper. Stew for two minutes, and add one can of tomatoes. Bring to boil, and add one and one-half cups of grated chécse. Stir until it melts, then add salt and pepper, paprika, Wor-
and Tabas chestershire sauce,
well-flour to three tablespoons of melted to taste. Add two sauce
butter in a saucepan. Add two beaten eggs and cook until they are
cups of milk, salt, pepper, and of a creamy consistency. Serve at qace on toast or saltines.
parika, and cook until it is thick A recipe for a rarebit somewhat and creamy. Then add two cups of well. When thoroughly blended, green pepper in two tablespoons of butter until nearly done. Put in add two cups of diced celery, saucepan, with the content SETYL AL ofber cardbits, ... can of corn, one cup of tomatoes, (Continued on next Columa.)
in
FASHION NOTES."
WIFE'S SKIRT TOO SHORT.
KNEES EXHIBITED TO A JUDGE.
WOMEN IN THE AIR.
NO RUSH FOR U.S. "COMMER- CIAL JOBS.
["D.P." Special Service.]
As a change from the flower" A skirt which, according to a WD- are bringing mua parchaser, was utterly in- tones dress-makers
à new Герде of evenings decent and impossible to weir " Washington. Although 65 women colours for the silk or cotton tulle, chiffon or lace gown. These, include figured in a case-beard' recently at are licensed to fly, none have gooe into the commercial field which they brown, many shades of smoke grey, Greenwich County Court.
soft yellow, ink blue and a dark
Mrs. Ethel Elizabeth Carpenter,bave left strictly to men. of Arran-road, Catford, who sued
Some women go in for exhibition royal blue, all rather unusual colours for the evening.
Mr. W. Rees, of Rushey Green,
seven have Catford, for £5 108., the price of airplane flying and
Black is being used extensively. In this pleated lace in tiny frills is rather new. Shoes should always match the frocks and the definite contrast of gold or silver shoes with a coloured frock is no longer in vogue
Two very unusual rarebits are the oyster and peanut butter. For the former, clean and parboil two cups of oysters, saving the liquor. Re- move the tough muscle from the oyster. Melt one-fourth cup of butter, add one pound of soft cheese cut in small pieces, and salt and pepper. When the cheese begins to melt, add slowly the oyster liquor and four slightly-beaten When smooth add the two cups of oysters, and serve at once,
egga
a costume, said that when the licenses to pilot transport planes, costume was delivered she complain-yet not one has invaded the Geld ed about the skirt, and Mr. Rees which includes some 4,500 masculine Promised to put it right. He made
a new skirt, and when she put it commercial flyers, according to
1 Jesse Lankford, chief of the "licens on she travelled to her home in a tramear. The skirt was two and ing section of the aviation branch a half inches above her knees. Her of the Department of Commerce.-
United Press. husband, who was outside the house when she returned called out, "Come inside at once."
Skirt Dönned.
Mr. Carpenter said in evidence that when he saw his wife in the costume he said, "Mother, what on earth have you got on It is a skirt not fit for a girl of eighteen." He told her that she could not wear it...
Judge Moore: I agree that the skirt is very short, but some people like them short.
Mrs. Carpenter: I do, but not like that. I have a child of four teen..
Mrs. Carpenter at this point sat down and showed that in a sitting position the skirt reached well above her knees.
similar follows: Stew one, chopped cheese and two beaten eggs, stirring tablespoons of flour, one scant ten penter's instructions. While he was give Mr. Rees an opportunity of
was made according to Mrs. Car To make the peanut rarebit, add Mr. Rees' son said that the skirt to two tablespoons of butter, two
giving ovidence Hra Carpenter, spoon of salt, one teaspoon of mus-
ard, and one-fourth teaspoon of who had put the skirt os, made her. cayenne pepper. Add two cups of way to the judge's dais, to show milk at until boiling Then him the costume. stir in one cup of peanut butter."
Judge Moora said that he would altering the skirt and the coat. He intimated that later he would view the costume again and decide
whether the alterations were "antis-
I