THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, FRIDAY,
SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY SEEING IF MOTHER'S ASLEEP
JULY 5, 1929
By GLUTAS WILLIAMS.
Joseph M. Schenck presents
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
The education authorities' had t sent an inspector to the village! school and at the conclusion of his examination he inquired whether any of the pupils in the girls' class were mentally deficient.
Certainly noti replied the teacher, indignantly.
Lift Boy: Old Lady: up!"
"Life Boy:
No'm,"
The motion of going
Nom."
Old Ladya Lift Blog: **Tell me,'' kid the lady to the soldier, were you cool in battle f
What is it, then 12 The questions,"
Corl?" said the truthful vote- conwhy. fairly shivered.**
Very well. observed the in-ald spector. "I'' make a test. Girls, close your eyes a second." And he imitated the twittering of birds.
Open your eyes,
The cried. Tell me, what was I doing."
ห
General (after the 6th Break
Kissing" teacher ! came the down): By the way, what is the triumphant chorus.
The teacher had been explaining to her pupils the different meanings of the words "to, too,'
"And "two" and finally, to find out if the children had grasped the ideas sho ibrided to give a fest.
Now, children, as quickly as you can. I want you to give me
entene.containing all three spell
inve"
Hardly wore the words out of her month before up went a hand.
Well, Isane" said the teacher "and the boy "answered, glibly: Two shillin's is t much to spend."
A Scotch farmer bought a horse. Going home he thought a drink «would refresh it, so he got a bucket of water, but the naimal would not Louch it. On reaching "home" he gave it a fond of earm hit it would not touch that either.
Yere the rerra horne by me if Je only work." the farmer a heard to say.
The police made a raid upon s lub where gambling was suspected 1 taking place. The names and addresses were taken of all persons caught on the premises, and in due cense, the offenders were summoned
to appear in court
One of the offenders on being asked what trade he followed re pl. am a locksmith.
What were you doing when the police entered? continued the magistrate.
"Well, Your Worship," came the Answer, I was just making a bolt
For the door.
Mrs McTaggart: Hoots Dinna fasi yerel McTaggart: Twns 4 had shillin' I gave him!
The McTaggart: "A had shillin'!; Ma canadien Sie extracZKABEN Woman, had ye no bad saxpence?
Old Lady: "Don't you ever fool sick going up and down in this lift all day 1"
Lift Bay: "Yo'm."
¡
horse-power of this car, Jenkins?" Muffled voice of Jenkins from under car: Farty, sir, but I think thirty-nine of the lighters must be dead:"
At a fancy dress ball for children, a policemann stationed at the door. was instructed by the committee not to admit any grown-ups. Shortly after the ball had begun an excited' woman can running up to the door and demanded admission.
Furry, tam, said the polierman. I can't let anyone enter but children."
But my girl is inside dressed as a butterfly, and she has forgotten: her wings.
Can't help it: orders is arders: so you'll have in let her go as a caterpillar," replied the policeman.
She cycled up to the hatcher's shep, and went in with a smiling faer,
I want you to cut me off 25. of beef, please," she said.
The hatcher was incredulous..
Twenty-five pounds Yes, please
When he had finished, he asked her whether she would take it or have it sent home.
"Oh, I don't want to buy it." she You see, my doctor plained. tells me I have lost 23h, of flesh through playing tennis, and I wanted to see what it looks like in
lump. Thank you so much.**
Sporting Wife: Yes, and he said John's system was all wrong,
which, of course, was no news to John never lacked winner alf last season.
VISTER TEUS HIM NOT TO 60 IN TO MOTHER'S ROOM, SHE'S TANING A NAP
TIP-TOES IN TO MAKE
SURE THAT HER EYES ARE REALLY CLOSED
GUYAS WILLIAMS
PARLIAMENTARY TRIANGLE.
"(Continued from Page 1)
ARGUES SHE MAY HOT 52 ASLEER, NOW, HOW DOES SHE KNOWSHE IS, ANY- WAY HE'S COINS IN TO SEE IF SHE IS
LEANS OVER BED, " PEERING INTENTLY AND BREATHING SOFTLY- DOWN MOTHER'S NECK
OPENS DOOR AND PEERS WHISPERS MOTHER'
IN FENETRATING VOICE
IN
WHISPERS 'MOTHER, ARE YOU ASLEEP ?.)
(Copyright, 1529, by The Bell Syndicats, Inc.)
Was it merely electoral caution that led Mr. MacDonald and bis principal lieutenants
life about Socialism during the
Modernism!
to
A DINNER IN JAPAN.
THE NIHOMBÄSHI RESTAURANTS.
TOKYO STILL REBUILDING.
This is Nihombashi, the Bridge of Japan, spanning one of the many
COMES OUT AND RUSPORE! VES SHE'S ASLEEP. (MOTHER TRIES UNSIC- CESSFULLY TO RESUME
HER NAP>
6-10
Tiny Obairs. Actually, for a foreigner the cushions appear more attractive than the chairs, for the chairs are of extremely small stature with not more than 10in. of back. But we reflect that it would seem like affectation in a European to choose the cushions, and so we seat our- selves on the chairs,
ten (fried fish) and sushi (sand- The specialities of the house are Friend: "Did you get your hus-revent contest! Or is the confidrat canals which intersect the city of wiches of raw fish and rice flavour-
Asperialist, 215
orthodoxy that used to believe in Tokyo. hand to ser
La the old days of the led with various kinds of relish). advised "
Steinlistic miracles gradually gives shogunate it was made the We give our order, and meanwhile are derved with warm aake ("rice. the influences oeentre from which all distances on wine") and slices alike (octopus), ing place
I used to think that the reads of Japan were measured. a very popular delicacy in Japan. Socialism was the solution of the
The old wooden hridge-immortalized
The restaurant is full of diners. unemployment problem. Mrs.
conversation. and laughter. The in the colour-prints of Harnshige wooden sandals of the waitresses Philip Snowden is reported to have has now been displaced by a mas click-clack on the stone floor... said one time ago, “but I do not
sive stone structure, its parapets think so now."
surmounted by clusters of bronze lanterns borne aloft by griffins.
It is evening, and the light shines on the still water of the canal, re vealing the shapes of barges and a mediey of small craft. Above tower cranes and girders and scaffolding, outlined against the lighted bark- ground of the city-a reminder that Tokyo is still rebuilding after the rent darthquake and fire in 1023.
The young son of a rich family had apware in a village cricket match. Where he returned home to idianer his mother asked him how
he had played.
"Oh, fair carried my
well," he replied. hat modestly. through the innings."
anid How very unnecessary !!
his mother, disapprovingly Could Old Lady Is it the motion of 't you have got one of the par- the ging down?"
deners to carry it for you !!!
19
24
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
21.
16
25
22
* 19 10
14
གལ
139 140
|43 [44
45
146 147
148
하
132
58
56
Vertical.
1.
Permits.
1. Not so much.
English school.
5.
Address of respect.
3. Harangue.
Noted actor.
4. Fragment.
12.
To engrave.
3. Tari
13
A number.
4. Within
11.
Pipe.
7. Corded cloth.
15.
Very warn
5. To pilfer.
9. Small tower.
10. To aid
11. Anarchists.
10. A flower.
19. To send out.
29.
Hurled.
23. Unconfirmed report.
24. Morass.
25.
A constellation.
27.
A lubricant.
20. Pommessed.
30. Finish.
-35,--Reject's disdainfully.
70. Ta Fn f*y
37. One under guardianship.
23. Dress.
40. To cook.
To navigate.
Horizontal.
17. Looked closely.
19. To scoff.
20. Markets
21. To publish.
23. To irritate,
24. Evil.
56. To holler.
28. Article.
31. Conjunction-
32. Edge.
53. Article.
34 Acroforin Suid.
30. Underneath.
38. To join.
20. A bird.
41. A font.
43. Backless chair,
45. Taxes.
48. Like gold.
30. To esteem.
51. Hotels.
52. Fabulona,
42.
Renowned.
34.
A fish.
48.
Hibernia.
47. Religious division.
35.
To endure.
J Te mer ouT 254
Ag insect
Upon.
57. Small depression.
43. Age.
33.
54. Man's name.
It took 22 minutes to solve this puzzle. See how long it will take you.
Certain it is that the new Govern. ment assumes office far less cocksure than was the Cabinet of 1924 as to the healing effect of abstract formale applied to social ills of that first Secialist "Administration Mr. J. H. Thomas made the naïve Ponfession: "When the Labour Government came in, the Cabinet spent a good deal of time discuss ing nationalisation and its applica- tions. We found that the difference between the platform and the board. roos is the "difference between the unpractical and the practical.". We may safely assume that the second Socialist Cabinet will be more use. fully occupied.
"An Unnecessary Appeal, The new Prime Minister, as soon as the election results showed that the Socialist was the largest party but was not in a majority, issued ar appeal for fair play. It was a natural appeal to make, but it was unnecessary. Most of the electors voted against the Socialists, but that does not prevent us all from wishing well to the new Govern
mento
Fish Market.
On the radio the news-teller has
JOHN BARRYMORE
ETERNAL LOVE
with
CAMILLA HORN
America's most dis finguished actor in the crowning triumph of his career !
Vivid romance bristling with the drama
of life in the Alps!
AT THE
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
DRAMA intense, mighty, stirring. This picture is grippingly human." See it and be thrilled as never before!
THE WAY OF
ALL FLESH
with
EMIL JANNINGS
AT THE
WORLD
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
at 2.30, 5.15, 7.159.20.
finished with the Diet; now begins HELEN HUNT JACKSON'S FAMOUS LOVE CLASSIC!! the evening English lesson, and we listen to our language spoken with a terrible distinctaess and correct- ness to which not even the most ex pert of our B.B.C. professionals ever attain.
JUDGE CRAWFORD
DISTURBED.
CRYING BABIES SENT OUT OF COURT.
At Nihombashi formerly was a great fish market, which has now been removed some distance away. But still along the north bank if the canal extend a row of small wooden houses, whose sign-painted
A baby began to cry at Edmon- curtains hanging in strips before for County Court recently, and their sliding screen doors proclaim Judge Crawford ordered that all women with babies should wait in them to be restaurants. These ure'
the corridor.. the Nihombashi fish restaurants, eating houses of old Yedo.
'Cries, from the corridor distin bed They are not resorts of rank and the proceedings a few minutes later, fashion, nor of epicures, nor of and Judge Crawford gave orders Bohemians; they are simple and that the women, and their babies cheap and unpretending: but they should be put in the ante-room, an established reputation with the have a great dignity. They have which is further away.
There was quiet for a brief period discriminating, and they keep their and then still another yell WAS place by the Bridge of Japan along heard." with the huge creation of the new
cra.
Judge Crawford. throwing his spectacles on the desk, exclaimed We are hungry, and we turn
impatiently, "This is perfectly in- aside into one of them. Within, tolerable. One might as well try to the dominant note is that of un-conduct the business of a county adorned wood. The house is made court in the engine room of an of himaki a kind of cedar-wood ocean liner. The bailiffs of the akin to oak in its beauty and court must turn these women and with the grain of the wood running gether:" utility. The ceiling is panelled, children out of the court alto- crosswise in cach alternate panel. The general" effect is distinctly
Two bailiffs hurriedly left the
There is a passage in Lady Gwen dolen Cecil's life of her father which fitly expresses that spirit of sensible and manly generosity with Japanese. But this house, though court, and ten minutes afterwards remaining as a whole in the old one of them returaed and smilingly tradition, is liberal in detail. While informed the judge that all the ed to treat the success of a cause it does not pose as cosmopolitan babies were asleep in their mothers'.
which British citzens are accustom-
and up to date, it is not fastidious-arms. ly conservative and national. It is tolerant and eclectic.
1
WOMEN DIE IN A FIRE.
TELEPHONE BREAKDOWN
DELAYS RESCUE,
to which they have been opposed, When Disraeli dished the Whigs" in 1967, his Secretary for India resigned and resisted the second
Radio Bet, Reform Bill, which he denounced as
On the wall, between a Japanese "the Conservative surrender."
scroll written in swirls of black and Much water has flowed under red ink and a poster in the colour- Westminster Bridge since then, but print manner, is an advertisement the words in which Lord Saliabary of European origin showing an
Two women were killed and three took farewell of that struggle and
allegorical female with a torch. A persons injured recently in a fire girded up his loins for the next radio occupice a place of honour in which broke out on the premises have a lasting application:- the middle of the room; it is just of the Irish Nationalist Club in
It is the duty of every English-announcing the results of the day's Rotherham, Yorkshire. man and of every English party polities in the Diet.
to accept a political defeat
The victims are, Annie Brogan, And all around are other, em- cordially and to lend their best biems of modernity in the shape of ard of the club, and Mary Gal-
aged twenty-four, wife of the stew endeavours to secure the success, slim red cylinders-fire-extinguish-lagher, aged twenty, sister of Mrs. or to neutralise the evil, of the ers; they are here to nip in the bud Brogan, principles to which they have been the flowers of Yedo, those fair,
And
forced to succumbs England has if parasitic, flowers which on dry The injured are: John Brogan, committed many mistakes as winter nights shed their petals in steward of the club, Mary Kelly, a
Stockabridge, nation in the course of her his the sky over this city of abundant visitor from tory, but the mischief has been fuel.
John Brogan, the four-month-old more than corrected, by the hear
For the purposes of dining the son of the steward. tiness with which after each great house is divided into two parts. The calling of the fire brigade struggle victors and vanquished The one with stone floor, tables, was delayed by the fact that & tele. have forgotten their former bat and chairs is for customers who phone kiosk was out of order. tles and have combined together favour this sort; the other, about Damaze estimated at between to lead the new policy to its best ft. higher in level, with matting £3,000 and £3,000 was done when
unfaithful to so wholesome tradition.
And so say all of us.
tables, is for those who prefer to mineral water manufacturers, and take off their shoes and be entirely Messrs. Burtons, cake manufactur Japanese.
ers, ware, destroyed by fire at Les.
RAMONA
Unusual drama told against the stirring background of early, untamed California in the days of the Spanish Doas!
with
DOLORES DEL RIO
AT THE
STAR
TO-DAY at 5.30 & 9.20.
TO-MORROW at 2.30, 5.80 & 9.20.
THE BIG LOVE-LAUGH SPECIAL!
LAURA
LA PLANTE
The screen's great comedienne
in
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