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THE MORALS OF MR.
PIPSQUEAR
BY A JUNIOR OFFICER.
The morals of Temporary Second- Lieutenants just now cagage some public. attention. It is not exclusively Pip Squent who has come under the severely motherly eye of the War Uffice
and of various private philanthropic agencies who would have us all dull and good (and if we cannot be both we can
be the one at least); it is also the tem-
WORD RATIONS. CONTROLLER NEEDED FOR
WEATHER TALKERS
[BY TWELLS BRENT
It is high time that the Government appointed a Ministry of Invective to tell people what to say about the weather, when to say it, and how much to any of
ENGLISHMAN IN THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION.
THE PUBLIC'S REVENGE ON THE POLICE
the reactionaries and of criminals await- ing trial. The prison guards were killed, the great doors smashed open, and the wondering prisoners released. The build- ing itself was set on fire, and the prisoners, given arms, were ordered to join the mob. They required to second bidding
Mr. Stinton Jones, of the firm of Merrett & Jones, consulting engineers, Among them was one old political prisoner Waving a revolver in the air, of Petrograd, arrived in London on he led the crowds to the Courts of April 6th. He was the first Englishman Justice, bidding them set fire to the to arrive from Petrograd and describe section that contained the recorde of the revolution as an eye-witness.
Towards the end of January, he said, news of what the police were doing leaked out through certain friends of his con-
Some people think that they are en titled to say what they like and when ever they choose to say it. They main tain that free speech is a miety valve, that it is keeping the people from hibernected with the old revolutionary party, nation, emigration, sabotage, homicide, and epilepsy. Other people contend that the only salvation of the country lies in the Government either at once making weather-talk an offence against the realm or putting us all upon weather-word rations, allowing only so many scheduled remarks daily per head of the population, with extra rations to allotment-holders
Some were being trained in the use of machine guns, many of which had been erected on churches and tall buildings throughout the city Through the police most of the foodstuffs were cornered and huge supplies stored in various quarters, with the result that although the city was full of food all prices rose
himself -and-- his fellow revolutióñaries, But the burning did not stop here. - The flames spread, the place was gutted, and of banka and documents were sit üblaze: the archives were destroyed. Huge piles for three days the cellars were a glowing furnace, for masses of papers, packed as there were burn slowly, you the third day people crowded round the scorched and frameless windows, warni ing their hands at the blow,
HAPLESS POLICE DISGUISES.
porary lieutenant and other temporary officers of more exalted grade, and also, to their intense disgust, permanent officers, who profess to understand why the temporary shall be the victim of suptuary regulation, but not the puk ka commission' man, All these officers
Meanwhile smaller crowds detached from the main party set forth on or agree that it is the wickedness of the tem
ganized raids on their own account, led porary second lieutenant (otherwise Mr.
by the soldiers whom they now hailed as brothers and comrades." Every Pip-Squeak) that has caused all the
policeman they saw was shot or struck tremble, but none sve ʼn hopu that authori. The word întion agitators argue that
down with sword and bayonet. Every ty will recognise this view and wink our physical inancial, and agricultural ten or fifteen times the normal.
police station was stormed, swept of out-of-bounds, rules, convalescent intern losses caused by the weather are slight The people became hungry and
ita contents, every document was burnt, ment regulations, and the like apply only and temporary compared with the moral mutinous Butter, which before the all the stores of ammunition were carr
the hoarded food supplies commandeered, to the most junior oflors. So the rain degeneracy brought about by this daily revolition was is 7d. per ib, had now of rules falls on the just and the unjust habit of the whole community exacer soared to 78. Gd., cheese and ham in- alike, and some of the just are wroth bating themselves by constant, reiteration creased from 18 3d to B., and sugar and and the building burnt. Police hunting The trouble is of long standing; the of the atrocities of the weather. Those white flour were practically unobtainable was the order of the day; the unhappy systematic attempt to grapple with it is who demand word rations say that the The old gang were working energetically conspirators sought escape disguised as alone new Inuced, the present methods standard of public propriety is being for a separate ponce; meanwhile the lower women workmen, nursemaids, and even
as solders. But few escaped of conduct of the war are such as to redebased, and that men of respected post-classes were being urged by the police In the streets now the crowds wore move the causes of the trouble, which is tion are using language in railway trains to clamour for food, and they could
waving red fings, singing revolutionary. a legacy of the early days of the war, and other public places that they once not get it to break out into open revolt,
songs, mashing windows, and, as was when commissions were issued with a too would never have dreamed of using
POLICE ARSENALS natural, in part, getting out of hand. generous faith in human nature, and the except in the privacy of their homes and
On February 27th the machine guns Fighting was still going on mme streets result that many rotters were given the officce and to their wives or employés. uniform of clicers (though they could
on the churches and public wildings were were strewn with the dead and the dying. never be gentlemen) and an even greater
supplied with ammunition When the All vehicular traffic had been stopped; number of weaklings who broke down
people asked why, they were told that but the leaders of the mob commandeered under their new dignity because they had
these were precautions against expected every motoren they could get armed it not the support of the old safeguards. “
The dignity of the position of a British
OTVOR HAll the police offices were stocked with set it careering through the streets, fring officer in the old Regular Army qua Wa
We at least look to the Government for small arms and ammunition On March in some cases indiscriminately. Motor officer was remarkable: His officer's rankinin Taling upon one disputed and 6th striking began; on the 7th all the lorries were used for the same purpose. taxtile workers were out, and on the 9th The churches, hospitals, and other public gave him the confidence of his banker horribly muddied issue re we to talk the strikers swarmed through the streets buildings were opened for the reception of his tradesmen, of society generally about the washer, or are we to remain To wet a British officer in uniform with silent 3 Most of us are doing the first to crying Give us Bread Among the of the dead and wounded; bat strict doubtful company or under doubtful cir undoubted excess. A few of us are doing guised as workmen urging the strikers to or wounded, were to lie where they fell, crowds moved agents of the police disorders were giver that policemen killed cumstances was almost unknown. The the second to a like excess that is even
It was only this week, indeed, that n sergeant major, of our fores returned to barracks suffering from word shock" contracted from a civilian in a railway compartment.
tradition of the officer clan was jealhusty more destructive of self-respect, health make further disturbance. There were The same order applied to dead and
guarded by the system of training. When at last, laving got his commission, M Pip Squeak reported to his regiment in the old days he found himself still very much is leading strings. Until he had won six months standing his safest attitude, even in Mess was that of " don't speak unless you are spoken to.”
and sanity,
remark about the weather to a stranger
wounded offcome night the city was
violent scores outside the Kazar Calhe In the train one morning I made a dral and wild speeches were made, All through the night the city was. Ordinarily, the speakers would have aglow with fires and discordant with with a cough who helped me to clear from been instantly arrested, but now the cries. By midnight practically the whole the seats snowdrift that had come police stood by and laughed encourage mass of official documents had been destroyed At street corners people through the ventilator. It was a very ment. The Nevsky Prospult was swarm- ordinary remark, but the man turned on ing with demonstrators who were more warmed themselves at the bonfires. Even me like tiger. “Good heavens," he hilarious than threatening An order the chemists shops had been looted for Justice he could expoot from his brother riadidn't id bad enough to endure was given to the Cossacks ta ride through a de Cologne, methylated spirit, and officers, and sympathy, too, but theid to live through id, without people them and break them up. The Cossacks other fiery staff. There were wild orgies sympathy was, Lempered by severe subdelking about id came out at the gaik steered their some quarters bing to restrain any tendentes to The stranger alighted; en acquaintance wonderful horses in and out of the crowd, trained to respect hig uniform, and as he entered Having learnt my lesson, I and instead of using their whips on the had generally the right to wear mufij nothing about the weather Myrevolutionaries waved them in the air as it known was among the buildings. acquaintance seated himself, pulled his and the crowds cheered enthusiastically when off duty this high respect was more fur collar higher over his stamped The next day was fairly quiet, apart easy than in war time when uniform has his fort, blew upon his hinds, wiped the from a few window smaging crusades to be almost constantly worn April tears from his rheumy oves, sneez and some shouting on the part of the With the first recruiting of the Neyed four times, and naked · Well-what police An order was given that no Armica commissions were freely issued do you think about it
wounded people were to be taken to any of the hospitals and no dead to the mortuaries
offervescence. Above all things, he wa
COSSAGES, TURN.
BRITISH IN A HOT SPOT
The Astoria motel the War Hotel
attacked. This hotel was reserved for officers native and foreign. Everybody was ordered to come out and surrender. There was a bloody nght in the hall. The foreign officers were unharmed, and about 20 British stayed until the very last to shield the women. They did not leave until the mob threatened to raze the place to the ground. Finally the furni On Sunday, March 11th, great pro ture was amashed and the wine collars cessions streamed through the city and rifled. The Russian officers were placed thousands marched towards the Winter under acrest, disarmed, and braught out Palace, The demonstrations, beginning into the street where, sonié were shot, good humouredly ended in bloodshedi Fighting was still proceding on At noon the police fired everal valloys Wedneidsy, but the organization of the into the crowd on the Novsky Prospekt revolutionary committee was already be and in the thoroughfares crossing it.ginning to make itself felt. Notices wors Again and again the Lossacks rode posted all over the city asking the people through the press, managing their horses to be quiet and to retrain from looting, with great delicacy and injuring nobody, a number of the criminals who had been Detachments of other soldiers were called released were reinterned, and arrange What are we to do The only thing out and ordered to fire in the crowds.ments were made for the issue of a daily that we are agreed upon is what we would Point-blank they refused; but the police paper. The large quantities of food like to do to the people who say that were in a very savage mood and there hoarded up by the police were distributed April, 1837 was worse-Daily Mail was a good deal of indiscrimination at rational prices, and on Friday the banks opened for a couple of hours. This had a very calming effect, e
to men with no training, and in some Isn't it best to say nothing! I an cases with no tradition, ror a little wered while a bewildered public did not apprc This man also turned on me like a ciute the change, and bankers; trades tiger. He accused me of callousness, men, hosts had some unhappy expert pose, hypocrisy, and unpatriotism. ences., fut what may be called the conHe asked me if I would like to see his mercial aspect of the question was soon coal bill. When he bad finished with me set right Officers' rank ceased to give he started upon the weather The credit rishta, Socially the readjustment only other occupant of the compartment was far less easy The War Office has wag a seaman. At Clapham Junction the at last been compelled to assist that pro segman observed that he had come off the cess of radjustment with various restric North Ben and thought that he knew tive orders, when have roused sentiment something about weathertalk, but that "in" "some quarters, but the pe asity of the fall faint and thought that he had which is recognised brobably must better change carriages
We have been asking for com- wented one officer grimly when the latest of the regulations was publish And without a doubt we have been a king for it-that is to say, thereonduc ni some officers has made not merely disable, but necessary a degree of motherly (or grandmotherly) supervision, Exhorta Zion preceded regulation by ~ many
awatha. I can recall so long ago now that the war then was not a full year old an impressive scent on the barrack square of the town of -- (sɔmewhere in England) Mr. Pip-Squeak had been Exceptionally quaint in his y and, bedient to a Divisional or the Colonel of my Brid had ordered full parade, of subalterns mounted, in drill order. He was a fine borseman that Colonel the had been a Territorial officer and a great fox-hunter), and the true delight of his eye was to see his subal terne in full array doing sword salutes We took rank, dressed waited, expecting sword drill But the Colonel reined ap his proad charger sharply and began
*** Subaltern......... officers of the Brigade - Division, Roval Field Artillery
content to lic); und it was a curious re velation of what could be possible in the breach of a great traditions A year petore the necessity of such a lecture could not be imagined. At the present day, when the brake has been put on and commissions are only granted after some service of a cadet term of training, nuoligans can no longer hope to become officers. But a fow of the bad type sur vive, and many survive of the type which is not fit to be out of leading strings. hence stringent regulations, which offend the dignity of some
There is not at slightest doubt that the ringleaders of the demonstrators were police in disguise. By midnight the crowds had dispersed, all the main avenues and bridges were closely guarded, and a feeling of general unrest and anxiety was rife everywhere
A litter blizzard on Saturday drove everybody out of the streets, and on Sunday the city had practically resumed its normal state,
WONKEESWAGEN DOURED On Monday, March 12th, the storm When the mills and the factories re burst. Early in the morning huge crowds opened the revolution was the workmen's gathered in all districts and marched to gportunity. Instantly they took it the bridges. Here they were stopped by they all demanded a universal eight- the police and the soldiery, and nobody hour day and an increase of wages without a special pass was allowed to running up from half as much again to enter the city. Still, in the city itself thrice the former pay. They insisted thousands of residents and those who had upon the discharge of all the old foremen remained throughout the night formed and masters of departments, electing A processions and made their way by their own nominees in their places. They do not think it is correct to say that various routes to the Small Arms Factory further insisted upon all the masters
milk-sop standard is aimed at and Arsenal
having the same food as the men and and I disbelieve the rumour that at the As early as ten o'clock machine guns receiving only a certain percentage of Hotel Central, which is now the Prince perched on high buildings and in attics the profits. On this new revolutionary" of Wales Convalescent Hospital for opened fire upon the crowds. The scale the daily wages in one textile fac Officers, leave is only given to go out to police freely used their rites and rovel tory (British) were more than doubled. Mothers Meetings Sewing Circles, and vere, but the soldiers, who were ordered Domestic servants, chauffeurs bank High Teas in Presbyteries. It is recog- to join in, flatly refused They threw clerks, and other held mass meetings in nised that boys will be boys. But, to in their lot with the crowd and, mingling the cinema halls and presented ultima explain with another convenient mis among them, assisted them in attacking tums to their employers. The domestic spelling, when some boys are evidently the Small Arms Factory, smashed through servants insisted upon an eight-hour day determined to be bhoys, then it is the police cordon, and broke into the and a minimum wage of £4 a month (El time for parents to be parents; and the Arsenal. In a few minutes they had a to £1 101. is the usual wage), The War Office is in this case in loco parentis. tremendous store of arms-machine-guza servants also insisted upon being allowed The whole trouble trouble is perhaps rifles, revolvere, and thousands of rounds one day a month being sot, apart in the too strong a word the whole annoyance of ammunition. The soldier revolu house for the entertainment of their has come from the instrusion into com tionaries formed themselves into machine friend emisioned rank during the early stages gun detachments, issuing out into the of the war of some rotters and weaklings. streets with belts of ammunition hanging Those who have survived cashiering are round their necks Every policeman they "I want to point out MT. that concentrated mostly in London and other saw they shot down. Their own officers big Home Camps, for it is part of their they arrested, depriving them of their nothing I am going to say now applies rotting to avoid the front as lar as pos arms. If they showed signs of resistance
Then he went on to speak of the sible, and when they do get out they they were shot
usually come back quickly, either on the scandals that had arisen in the town from orders of their disgusted door invalid____ BURNIN
Then he caught sight of the present deponent first file of the little troop Now I know I was a sore vexation to that Colonel, who had gone out of his way to be very civil to the personally, but could not forgive me my incurable lack of grace in the word glute. Nevertheless he was
Just ins and kindly, and he re bered at the moment that was the venerable father of a family stopped
Fall out, Mr.
I fell out,
to you
*** BURNING TRY ARCHIYEHABA
ANGLO-SPANISH COMMERCIAL
CONVENTION.
It is satisfactory to note in regard to a country where there was a large pro German element, that following a special mission of Marquis Cortina to the the conduct of young officers. The ed with some recondite malady of the The crowds were howling for revenge tish Government in connection with particular offence that had filled anthonerves. The force at the front is a very on the police. Hordes of young men, Anglo Spanish commerce, a a Commercial rity with special bitterness was a habit decorous force indeed a Roundhead grotesquely armed, dashed through the Convention between the two countries has more than one subaltern had of carcering Cavalier army with the sobriety of the throngs, shooting and hicking. Some been signed Arrangements have been along the sea-front or motor-bikes, with baggages porched on the back carrier one and the gaiety of the other type had new swords slung at their waists, made whereby the British Goverament Practically all the dark theep era quar some brandished them; others carried will supply Spain with 150,000 tons of not hagtage, but bagiages persons who tered in the Home paddock, and though, bayonets fixed on poles or walking sticks; coal monthly, and in return Spain will can be most accurately described by the it is a pity that authority in dooling others again, with a revolver in each export to Brigiand as much ore as mis spelling lydies, p
It was a bad quarter of an hour for with them has to seem to cast a slur on hand, fred roundabout or in the air rennird. The Spani me, singled oat thus as being either too dividual can forget his grievance in the The Arsenal having been cleared and by the British Governmen
others, it is a necessary pity. The in until their cartridges were exhaustedes, under the
allow the chartering bad or the good to be lectured on decorum thought that after all it is easy for him, set fire to, the mob turned to the Courts en hus also been reag (under neither implication is human man to show that be is an offior and a gentle of Justice and the Detention Prison Spain will armort a cer
(Canhaved at fort of went onions.) - I man. –Morning Post.
adjoining It was full-both of victims of of oranges to England.
new
prament