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April 29, 1896.]
think you had thrown me over the fence on purpose."
An Irishman beholding Niagara falls said "What is there here to make such a bother about?" "Why," said his companion, "don't you see that mighty river pouring over into the deep abyss ?" "Of course I do, and, sure, what's to Kinder it?"
Another Irishman, looking over his doctor's bill, which was an unusually long one, wittily mid he would pay for the medicines, but the visits, which were charged for at the rate of aguines each, he would return. **An Irishman had a drink of whisky sent out to him in a small glass. He was looking askance at the glass a short time when the gentleman who sent him the drink said Fat, it's prime whisky-fourteen years old." "Fourteen years ould, sir! Faith, its mighty small for its age."
Whisky and Irish humour are unfortunately closely allied. When the wine is in the wit will out." An Irishman who had been partak ing very freely one evening found it necessary to support himself against the wall of a Pro- testant Church, when a friend passing by asked him if he had joined that establishment. "No," replied the inebriate, "but at present I have a strong leaning that way."
An Irishman once said indignantly I have heard Mr. Murphy's death reported so often and found it false that I am resolved not to credit it till I hear it from his own lips."
A hospitable Irishman-and hospitality in Ireland is proverbial-when writing to a friend
said
If ever you come within twenty miles of my house I shall be mortally offended if you don't stay there all night."
men.
But bulls are by no means confined to Irish- I think we can convict even Macaulay of having perpetrated a ball in the " Lays of Ancient Rome" when he sings of the shouting of the slayers, and the screeching of the slain."
Irish wit is sometimes of a most sardonic kind. Was there ever a more sardonic stroke of description than that O'Connell gave of Sir Robert Peel's bloodlessness? "His smile is like the silver plate on a coffin."
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When Erskine heard that somebody had di&d worth £200,000 he observed Well, that's a pretty sum to begin the next world with."
To all soliciting his subscription Erskine hail a regular form of reply, viz.,-"Sir, I feel much honoured by your application to me and I beg to subscribe (here the reader had to turn over the leaf) "myself your very obedient servant-T. Erskine."
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A gentleman who was one day driving in a jingle" was very much surprised at the driver descending from the box and opening the door, which he then shut with a loud bang. Con- found you, what's that for?" said the tourist. “Whist, yer honour, whist," said the man, "I'm only desaving the baste when I bang the door. She'll think yer honour's out and will run up the hill like the divil.”
Grattan was not what one would call a very religions man.
"Do you ever say your prayers ?" asked Plunkett. "No, never." What neither night nor morning ?" Never -but I have aspirations all day long."
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It is said that Curran once met his match in
the well-known Father O'Leary. "Reverend Father," said Curran, "I wish you were St. Peter." "And why, Counsellor, do you wish I were St. Peter ? " "Because, Reverend Father, in that case you would have the keys of heaven and you could let me in.” "By my honour and conscience, I consider it would be better for you if I had the keys of the other place, for then I could let you out."
His Excellency concluded as follows:-Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think I must have nearly tried you out. Some of you may say Sir William, there is no end to your wit," to which, whilst I should reply "Heaven forbid that I should be at my wits' end," I should perhaps admit that for one sitting you had had nearly enough of it. In conclusion, therefore, perhaps it would not be inappropriate to recite to you a few happy specimens of Irish epitaphs. His Excellency then read some amusing epi- aphs, with which he closed his highly interesting per, which was closely followed. No ko, judging from the frequent bursts of ughter, needed the surgical operation
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CHINA OVERLAND TRADE 'REPORT.
spoken of by Sidney Smith, and at the conclu- sion a hearty vote of thanks was, on the motion of the Chairman, who himself told two or three capital stories, passed to His Excellency.
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Mr. Granville Sharp's lecture on "Imperialism and the British Empire' will be delivered on May 8th and not next Friday as was at first arranged.
THE STRANDING OF THE “EXE,”
MARINE COURT OF ENQUIRY,
A Marine Court of Enquiry was held at the Harbour Master's office on the 22nd April to enquire into the stranding of the British steamer Exe, which struck on rocks lying off Hong- kong Chan on the morning of the 9th inst.
The Court was composed as follows:-Com- mander R. Murray Rumsey (Harbour Master), president, Staff Commander C. R. H. Robinson, R.N. (H.M.S. Victor Emanuel) Capt. J. H. Rinder (master, Belgic), Capt. J. A. Morris (master, Chowtai); Capt. H. Pybus (master, Empress of India).
Capt. Pell-I am master of the British steam- ship Exe. I hold a master's certificate issued at North Shields on the 14th February, 1881. I have been in command of the Exe nearly two years.
We left Hongkong at 11.30 am. on the 8th April last bound for Saigon in ballast; the ship was drawing 15 ft. aft and 9 ft. forward. The weather was clearing when I left. We proceeded between Green Island and Hongkong and to the west- ward of Lamma Island. Off the S.W. of Lamma island we entered a thick bank of fog. I slowed down, and kept signals going. After a few minutes I turned round to come back, as the fog was getting denser, and after going a few ships' lengths the weather cleared again all round to the north. I proceeded again on my course for about half a mile, when I again entered the fog bank. I then anchored in Lamma Bay. At 4 a.m. on the 9th, as it was clearer, I began to get under way and a few minutes before six o'clock weighed and set course S.W. (magnetic) to about 1 miles off Ling Ting island, when I altered the course to south-west by south. I coull see the islands; the tops were covered in fog, but below they were clear. When abreast of the first island the chief officer reported eleven miles by the patent log. It was then just about 7 a.m. I estimated that I
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this All
time
till
was about one or one and a half miles off the island. Almost immediately we entered a third bank of fog, which covered everything from view. I immediately slowed the engines and gave instructions to the lookout. Two or three minutes afterwards the lookout and the chief officer reported "rocks on the starboard bow." This was understood on the bridge to be "a junk on the starboard bow." The helm was immediately placed hard to starboard. I asked what it was, and the man at the wheel said "a junk on the starboard bow, sir." The officer then cried out "breakers ahead.' I rang the telegraph fall speed ahead," as I considered it the only chance of canting the ship quickly, she being light She immediately crushed on a rock, bringing the rock to the middle of No. 2 hatchway. We at once stopped and reversed, but finding she did not come away we stopped the engines again. nearly noon the main island was not visible at all. We went on a rock about two cables' length from the shore. There was a depth of about four fathoms all round the reck and seven to eight fathoms at the stern of the vessel; three feet on the rock on the starboard bilge, and eleven feet on the port bilge. The second officer was sent away shortly after nine o'clock in a junk to Hongkong to report and get assistance. We pumped out No. I tank in No. 2 hold, which had been run in for ballast, caulked up the store rooms aft, and pumped water into them. About three o'clock in the afternoon of the 9th the steamer Petrarch passed us and in response to our signals for tugs she We got a 11-inch hawser offered to tow us. attacked, but owing to the set of the current she had to anchor. She towed for about an hour and a half and pulled us off from 10 to 15 feet, when the hawser broke. The captain did not think it safe to stay all night and went off to Hong- kong to send us assistance. About seven o'clock
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the second officer returned with the steam tug Fame to enquire what assistance we wanted. I immediately wrote to the agents stating what was necessary and also to the Commodore. Next morning, the 10th, the tug Fame returned, bringing with her two junks, in which to put the anchor and chains. H.M.S. Swift and the Fame then took hold of us, but made no impres sion whatever. They both left about half past seven. Directly after they left the steam tug Dragon came down. She had lost* us in the fog. As the sea was making she lay by us all night. Next morning H.M.S. Archer and the Fame both came with a new hawser. Each one commenced towing. The Archer bad difficulty in getting hold of us on account of the set of the tide. They returned to Hongkong again. They did not consider it' safe to remain all night. In the meantime in ship's bottom had started to make water. We' were able to keep it under with the pumps. At noon a nasty sea sprang up. About 4 o'clock wẹ found the tank and starboard bilges were giving ont. We plugged the rivets and holes up with cement. At midnight the weather took“ off again. Next morning the Archer, the tug boats, and two launches came down. Each got hold, except the Archer, which had great difficulty in getting into position. As the Archer was making fast the ship came off. We. proceeded straight to the dock.
Evidence bearing out the captain's state- ment was given by the chief officer and the who was steering at the time.
man
Robert Palmer was next called and said he had been on the Exe for about four months as an able seaman. He was called on the look-out about 6.30 am. on the 9th inst., and about a quarter of an hour afterwards he reported rocks on the starboard bow. He heard the captain give the order to starboard the belm. A few seconds after he reported breakers ahead. The ship went off about four points to port before she struck.
can-
The following is the finding of the Court The Court has carefully considered the circum- stances which led to the stranding of the vessel as laid before them in the evidence and have come to the conclusion that the casualty was directly due to an error in the position of the ship when the last course was set. They are of opinion that the estimated distance off Ling. ting was erroneous and that in consequence of this error the course afterwards set was not a proper one and they consider that the master should have taken steps to assure himself of his position at that time, seeing that the cir- cumstances of the weather demanded tion and also admitted of some such steps The attention of the Court being taken. is directed to the fact that there was only one officer on deck besides the captain-the chief officer, who was fully employed with the The remaining officers anchor and cables. were below, having been on deck-watch during the night. The Court considers that the master should have had at least one officer with him on the bridge under the circumstances. The conclusion which the Court finds itself obliged to come to is that the ship was not navigated with due care which the circum- stances of the weather demanded, and therefore they consider that the captain is deserving of censure, but they are not disposed to say that this error amounted to such wrongful act or
default as to cause them to deal with his certi-
ficate. After the casualty all was done that was possible with the object of saving the ship, and the officers and crew appear to have con- ducted themselves in a satisfactory manner.
The Foochow Echo says:-It is estimated that the value of the funds sent up country for the purchase of the new season's tea is twenty lakhs of dollars. Included in this estimate is the value of the opium, lead, and piece-goods taken up by the feamen. The total is about the same as last year. We believe that the tea- men have gone away well advised as to pro- spects, and with the depressing accounts of markets in London, Australia, North America, and Canada it certainly behoves them to be cautious about the prices they pay. They must be prepared for a lower scale to rule here, for assuredly foreign buyers cannot afford to run the risk of repeating their purchases at last season's rates,