JETTING
IN
THE PHRASE
OF THE NEW YEAR
HUNDRED AND
EIGHTEEN MILLION. That is the official prediction of the number of passengers | who will travel. by world air- lines in 1961. And a wholo lot of them will be flying by jot. So today I offer you soma personal experiences as a traveller-an ofton weary traveller-with some- thing like 30,000 miles of jot fravel on his log.
You can then make up your own mind whether you want to go jeiting in to your destination in 1901
old- *T travel the fashioned way. The great ad- vantage of course
is that the things get you there fester, and when you are up there at about 30,000 feet there's less noise and vibmtion,
This, of course, exposes one With
to the danger of bores.
less noise they can hear them- selves talk. (I've noticed that the only time bures are silent ix when they cannot hear them- relves talk).
AL
I found myse!! next to cho on a light 10 Now York.
fect there Was Bu
35,000
oscane:
Advantages
He told me about his house
in Long Island, his penthouse in New York, his cabin cruiser in Miami-and His wife's psychia trist.
He told me for 2.500 mlies, Never has the speed of sound reemed so slow. After approxi- mately 2,203 miles I had a minor satisfaction. I discovered wealth his considerable loved from the manufacture of water elcsets.
But think of the advantages cn short flights. i was delighted when I made my Arst jet book- ing from London to Paris and was told the flight would take only 40 minutes.
I forgot that it would take me a Ifasi one hour to drive to London Airport and another hour to get by taxi from Le Bourget to the centre of Paris,
There are other frustrations.
Not so long At high altitudes. ago I was taken in four hours from Jamaica to New York by Boeing 707 Jet, but it spent another hour circling Idlewild Airnort because teo many planes were trying to land at the same time.
was then
diverted to Philadelphia and arried in New York six hours 1ster.
The American airline T. W.A. once told me proudly thut I could have
an afternoon com- lake a five o'clock cocktail and be in New York for dinner.
ference in London,
Asleep
I certainly did. But I found myself falling asleep when the dinner ran late. The New York elocits told me it was only mid- night, but my body know i was ave in the morning.
Or long-distance Blights the extra for a first-class ticket can be over HK$1,000. And what do you get for 17
Slightly more leg-room. More Pollteness from the stewardess
More varied menus. perhaps. Free drinks.
THE CHINA MAIL. SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 1981.
JACKYS DIARYS
LAST Night MomMY READ me a STORY About Being MINUS,
But when his Little DAUHTER SAW HE HAD Went AhEaD & CHANGED hek FLOWERS into Gold, SHE Started in CRYING.
JANUARY
BY
Mendelsohn ACKY!
Qe 331⁄2
MiNg MiUS WAS a GREETY King Who wished he could Turn Stuff INTO Gold So He WOULD GET RICH
Then one day his Wish was Granite, & EVERYTHING HE Touched CHANGED into Soller Solid Gold!
WOW!
BZZI
This MADE KING
Minus
VERY Sad ON A COUNT! he LIKED HER.
of
Boo
WHO,
Only when The King
STARTED into DRY OFF HER
Tears, She also TURNED
12-11
Earl Russell, leading sii-down Downing- H-bomb protest in street, falls to get arrested,
into A Golden Statute,)
OLD
So Right away he went around Tauching EVERYTHING SO HE COULd get More Richer
1060 King
Even
Syndicate, Inc., Worlik sights reserved.
So Then he Made an other Wish,
Which WENTE
wish i could HAVE MY DAULTER
And OLIVER Sudden The Spell WAS BROKEN
of She TURNED into a Regular Live GIRL, I
was NT Worth So Much ANY MORE,
THE END
PITMAN'S ALMANACK (
II'm so ashamed
Back
Like
FORE
Be
Refuse all imitations offered you
) FOR 1961
AND IT COULD JUST HAPPEN!
those rural jerks just needled
Woolton, оп BBC me."
Lady Brains Trunt, comments: "It is Dr Fisher to take the chair monstrous if a man cannot be at.convention of African witch- arrested when he wants to be, doctors. He states: "The hope I am even more ashamed of for the future les in bringing being British."
the African and Western cul- tures together." APRIL
too."
that
JACOBY on BRIDGE
Today's hand taken from the 1950 National Men's Paris has long been one of my favourites, Played at alx no-trump, South will make all the tricks unless the ace of spades is cashed at trick one. In that caso all he will make is his cop- tract.
The hand should normally. make six hearts or clubs, but the two voids won't help declarer at all and some declarers actually managed to go down two tricks..
The bidding in the box is that used when I hold the South Who will make the news in 1961? Horo, in a light-hearted Butter Bays: "It may be
the wind of change is blowing hand. Needless to say I did not preview, ROBERT PITMAN picks the people who will make through our great Monarchy know exactly how to bid it and my-jump to five no-trump Was the headlines and suggests just how they will do so Elizabeth Taylor's symptoms not a grand slam force, but
("A kind of interior bite") assumed that i was the savoury British
puzzle doctors. space-bcolle bring Mr Peten Thornycroft an-
course. I had to tell them that accommodated in satellite, nounces that he will soon be in
the dish was definitely of."
British Railways announce position to reveal sentational
British Kandy, the
space that they have giready been British space project.
In training. beetle,
It is serving Marples Lunch for Five unions switch against announced: Russians put racehorse into
"No
other space several years. orbit round the earth.
Galtskell line at Easter confer- beetle in the world in so far Londoner
Chruille ence. Bir Woodrow Wyatt says: forward with its programine." named
make murders entire Essex village "Never mind the votes. This Protests and petition ever Parkhurst. with hatchets. Police, searching is an incredible victory for our death sentence on Chrustlo for letter, saying: For Chrustie, siate: "We
would never publish articles by are leader all the decent speeches murdering entire village. real brick after all.. You should him if 7 thought he wore a taking a serious
this were for him."
have seen him fair churning wig." Mr Churchill awarded matter."
through the Solent.”
£20,000 damager, NOVEMBER
view of
Misa Elizabeth Taylor deve-
"New Statesman" publishes Jcps mystery finess while play letter from prisoner-on-the-run ing key part of Lady Violet Earl Russell, who writes: "The Bonham Carter (with Rock fact that the screws kept de- Hudson as Asquithy in eple on priving me of snout in the nick the First World War.
was intolàrable." Hon David Astor testiåes in slander Churchill
Alfred Hinds and Earį Russell
amazing свсере from Randolph
Mr. Hinds receives action: As a leading editor DECEMBER
"Bertrand is a
Lady Woosion on special BBC programme interviews man in the street the Earl of Harewood), who says: "Chru SEPTEMBER the must be given the chance to It's a becomic a useful member of society. After all, he has said he is ZOTT}},"
Earl Russell, leading civil Dr Fisher holds unity talks with leaders of Voodoo cult in disobedience campaign on H- Halil. He states: "All this fire bomb, finally arrested. Palice dancing and drinking of Ross man at Bow-street says: "When blood may seem a Bille strange warned prisoner stated: to those accustomed to Anglican fair cop." ritual. But we must each find our own way of seelding God." FEBRUARY
Chaos on railways following more modernisation. Mr Marples JULY
announced:
Lady Attica KATE:
Controversy over publication Marples' is talking nonsense. Mof Calita about professor's have always driven on a full marriage to a ' cofllo' dog. stomach."
Bishop says: "If it were less
WATA
and
Public houses full is half nation's drivers cease work f interests of road safety, Deaths cut by half.
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Opening lead-a`z
Pres Pass
Unprecedented royal news as details of past for Mir Ard- strong-Jones are announced at .last. He is to be part-time ad- viser от nineteenth-century Victoria and photography to Albert Museum. Mr Richard Sudden slump in shares of trank I would bo SOLTY, IL "As a remedy, I
catering companies.
Dimbleby tells viewers; "How teaches truly
wonderful for the working pro- have set my experts working on Etiola st Parkhurst
Earl "Mountbatten announces Christian over
slittude to animal revolutionary scheme for trans- Russell Lecture scheme, Alfred Britain's largest-ever defence world."
ple to know that, despite royal Polico admit that
port. The idea is to use vapour Hinds says: "I know the law. exercise to be held in autumn.
traditions, he has now joined murderer Chrualle was allowed from boiling water to turn This enhoot be infilleted without Second space-beetle-a female Ministry experts show that their ranks." through police cordon. A spoker wheels round I got the Hollan order from commlitee of visiting named Violet-selected.
drivers are less efficient after a Space mystery solved. X-rays man explains: "He said his from watching a kettle in 10s magistratva.““
that British beetlos Spectator Asks: hatchet was for wood-choppinx specially designed kitchen."
why this day's work Mr Marples laud- repeat Ministry experts reveal that prejudice? Why not a homo- ciles "Elther work or live" Handy and Violet were eater rather a warning to my partner :, and he was wearing a mask so
In mistake drivers are less efficient after sexual beetle?
at reception Justico de campaign. cating. Mr Marples to launch mands that this minority should redticing income tax, raising Taylor,
·B17 Harold Macmillan, after caviar by
Elizabeth that I held queen, Jack and Miss
small spade, At least, that is, "Full stomachs, mean full bos- be represented in space." Alarming report that Dr pitals" campaign.
Masi-murderer Chrusite pensions, and freezing rents for Fory landslide in snap eles: what I intended my bid to tell line "Fair shares for all" com- Fisher has been eaten at meet- Dr
that executed.
Experimental period of five tion. Nkrumah reveals
Labour reduced to 51 him. plains that there is unfair bias ing of African witch-doctors, Morz and Lenin were really On Brains Trust Dr wecks announces map General seats, Jubilant Mr Gaitskell against homosexuals In
Frince Philip chooses British Africans from Ghana. Asked Bronowski, Professor Salvador Election in four weeks time. exclaims: "A mimivo victory. I must say that this was put- pointment of new bishopa.
space-beetlo from selected to. comnigni, Mr Khrushchev de Madariaga
Bources close to Palien say I am forming Labour Govern- MrVolor Mr Thomaycroft ways that shortlist ot special meeting of says: "We have an old pro- Gollapex, and Prinen Chula of that Mr Armstrong-Jones will ment immediately," announcement about amazing the Royal Society. Research verb in Russia: When a ply Slam say: "We are all ashamed soon
inafor post. Mr
- London Axpress Horstce). British space project is coming, worker talls him:
1's impossible, oven for a that the constable concerned MAY lugh-capacity drinker, to con-
sume that many drinks going and coming-although I've seen Going attempts being made.
was unable to recognise him."
The Spectator, under head-
earth,
-da
་
Lastly, there's the fog. I left Rome recently by Allfalla DCB jet a magnificent plane. Flying time to Landoh; two hours. But London was faz-bound.
"You have Alitalia told me and the other
Very soon. brave travellers we would have
Ruslans put_string_of_race. Me Randolph Churchill rúss
Furore over Me Macmillan's OCTOBER to spend the night in Milan an horses luto orbit round the research worker for slander. their quests. We were taken
remark about merger of- Britiýli Forthcoming novel Colita and German. Partiainetta, Mr to a second-class hotel and
Di Nkrumah reveals that fabout passionate relationship Buller tells Commobs: "To offored dinner at an Indifferent || Jellus Caesar, Shakespeare, between professor and a collie Primo restaurant round the comet Napoleon, aut Queen Victoria dog) mentioned by Mr Graham cogitating aloud."
Minister / was -Merofy" where ;: thà" #paghotti. had the | were reblly albino African Greene, who suga: "I am told Mr Randolph Churchill realenice or a bangman's ropo. from angient Kingdom
It has a stranga fyrio quality." :writes: hours later I
"Ho, ho, ho, Sonje. Many endless
Dr Adenauer teils mudo the last store of that journey free Paris, where Ale France .in association with „Alltalla, had; given me a dinner In Orly Airport, which greally exploded that old myth that it's Impossible to get a bad mep! in Franco.
chosen the one we call Randy breaks into your kitchen, it is of being Belilah
no se tickling its rump.***
In the plane I discovered that the flying limɑ là now, so shart
arlings refreshments zervéð.
Ghana,
Downing-street,
MARCH
Uno silly-billies are saying that
no resentments. We have for given Britain for the war, JUNE
What they do ext realse la that he la my personal friend and a genius. His nonsense is better than their.senISS.""
Mr Thorneycroft at last gives apnon project details to packed Mr Macmulan tells German AUGUST Cothinona.
says: "By journalists: "L WAS deeply arrangement with the American touched by the generosity of Dr
Tory MP BATE: "Mr Churchill
| Government we are to be Adenauer's tersivopem "speech,
1
Spaco disaster. Brillati inzcó- beetles disappear at mammoth reception held in their honour in Washington.
Rumours that My Aniông
.BY. THE WAY.
in restaurants
by Beachcomber
for
Я
ting quito a střpts on him; but he came through nobly afði Agured out just, what I was do ing. Also, he reasoned that: six no-trump, counts, more in dup- licate than six of a mult and ac- cordingly raised me to the nö-, "trump slam).
VACARD SPnJEKO
that by agreement between the I allotipa room for an experi- Now we can aff·Jouk forward to #hould be fold to keep hils hal" haped I would gat, no voice or i floré.; But it was real, and he the best of all medicines, bud, I d
010
I couldn't even buy a drink.
Fortunately I had provided myself with a bottle of duty-free brandy,
In a taky prior curi supplied.
noj too willingly, by the steward
I drank a list to the jet age.
To the day-not so far disr tank-wijen on woman fikhla you will arrive before moja Jaaye,
—LOGAN GOURLAY.
Landon Kapters #ervice),
It
West opined the deuce of clubs JONɑ ago it was deelded that by their employers, free of tax, aventriloquists'a dummy, the lots to the Inland Revenue coat I made sover but it did Earl Rursvik (silk - zitting in Assembly: "We Gefmans hold Macmillan is talking-nonsense, chairman either of. Churchiga thepiricat performance and second hand warhead for « now feki wo were the only pair in Amrong-Jones wilt become was a wooden object constitute would amount to the pries of Anot matter. In that gil expert
Riddle me that, my] no-trump.” therefore a contravention of the weapon," Commissioners or of how all-gunday observance régulations, Trinity scholer. American Forde (England).
Mr Galtecell rejoices after A iplác noso la also a theatrical Letter to Narkover boy defeat by only 4,009,000 votes prop, except when given swAY
Your mother, and I gro 'at Fabiur conference. He says: The manager of a concert hall, worried about the stoms that a
on gala night, DEAR TOM,
Q-The bidding has beenija hta marginal result is a suspecting foul play tweaked matron keeps red tone in her month
Wer..
Neri catastrophic for the fellow
14 --PRSO 10 hpellers and mitters who and then lugged. at a pianist medicing bottler, Rest wine is
had to pay damages, Tycho paken in excess by boys, Brate the Date used to emoar affects their. card-senior. We Hentai becile in forthcoming the day when the Boan and American satellite. Both the Westminster Parliaments
Randolph Churchill, dues. fr
Britain's Digest-gviz› daval his golden nggo willi marine water from your last letter that
your losses lately have brello and lia pianilo - capsule merge together."
can slander. He states: "It la mort anal viise, kochane, held in male fluo to keep tweaker! at bay.
» rather, haovu. Either / pou are will be entirely Drilish.”
damaging for a mái. În my gang,ni. Math. Mogilbetten" We can't afford it
drinking tag mich medicino: 07 partner 264 TORNE BEATUK UME (OhOCT)
Earl Russell to give lecturas posilón if people concluido that, oralitey hously. Sprandimaan. 16. Rumourn that Mr. Antony, on ethics, to fellow-prisoners at 1 wear a wig." "
expalgakaane trepeter.com xrm of actuaries "donated" option. The chow kidnapim bang di un LEG | Artistsong÷Jones", will creath Parkhurat.
Mr Marples Introdudes the master by canh ráda, was DURAL to a head average adjuster pove you in the maston of poker. - royal/History by taking major World-wide relief of news new Marples Cunch to contine: 15 14 15 take to tell stored a bowler hat valued at $70 od okolist you can do to ME TODAY'S QUES TROJE AL
kelily your bard-dente, and VREE Dowaliony, key industry or State Dr Flaker lige not been eaten full-pinach mensos, un roads,,uenia na kwa mkid wars that ne a birthday present, would the user to humourous EQUIA Tous. Pertnes his
by witch doctors. He laughing Be says: "The Langh je rozt, sinon, kha: sajthat we new recipient have to pay the on You oradit, bir not all the monda toʻshow the non- What do Crusty sound Bari Russli, explains: "It your fat futanarima nutrities notiret value
avond He has sold it at low to rotor blencie, agu Yound ] TOU NO NOW? ayrapadour hattery, Báld a SEX se he thoven in Downing-street,, small mégynderstanding, Isode value whateverlies
Chranila, savshi at, itah, myst listed as the chief specie, dk to Home Dahlon #rasy?. Nahi. The sight of all dinner and our African friande, AmorioLDE - DEIPINA.
SUTVIDE..
Casa Muk all employees gyen Denund the ferizing pablikan
beon
You, Bakih, haldag
What do you dot.