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BY THE
WAY
by Beachcomber
NAPDRIVER: My learned
friend has Ingeniously sug= gested a method by which a hatiy cel could par under a serpent. May I remind him that Mis Henchman did not you the
DREAMING OF A WINTER SPORTS HOLIDAY? THEN THIS IS FOR YOU.......
take a tumble
on skis in the
word "low" fa a llierary THE fogs of December
denoting phyulent stature? λ Indy can sit at the bottom of a quarry without being low in any but a physical sense,
Cocklecarrots Mr Snapdriver, Mrs Welthouse's arboreal cover- tricities Aro irrelevant to the сак Even more irrolovang, is The gratuitous assumption that she might take it into her head to sit at the bottom of a quarry, Any discussion on these fines 19 au Judicrous as it is Immaterial the main consideration, whatever that may be supposed to be. By the way, how could the eel pasa under her at the bottom of a quarry?
to
Revolution in hat-chie
HAVE you washed your hat
with
Hooval? A famous cricketer writes: "'1 NOVET knew what a hat could be un- tti used Boorul. After tho application, all the beer-sain had disappeared, and my friends would not believe that it was not a new hat." You too can by the smartest man in your set.
Something wrong
THE Specialist
flown
from
Dawn Penang to look at Redgarse's gumboll arrived yes terday in Ravenna, where Sol Hogwasch is making his film of the entire Old Testament. Thu specialist Dr Aung Baung, and he brought with him Chinese assistant, who said to Hogwoch: "We beri beri specialist. Produce patient, please." Dawn was then sun- moned from the swimming- pool.
-{London Ezprem Serulos).
curl and lurk round
overy 'naked elm tree. The streets are greasy with drizzle and the nights are bleak.
But not for me!
This is my winter. This is the winter for Glenton, the man who is going to rock the Swiss
on their heels.
In my car, in my bath, at my desk I see a vialon.
The wind howls round cuckoo clock chalet. Outside the moon casts an eerie light on the cragged Alps.
But up there, up there in the snow a man les helpless.
Everyone is helpless. The moun- and Laineers grow their knuckles are afraid. Even old Hans, the doyen of them all, is lying with his head under the bedclothes and calling for wintergreen for his twinges.
JOYOUS BEACONS
Glenton laughs, puts on his gay woollen hat, tugs at the hand-knitted jumper with the reindeer pattern and pleks up his skis,
The lights from the siny windows are patterns of gold in the snow. And the blood red of the torch flames £
Joyous Dra beacons as one more man is snatched back from the white Hell.
Ski-ing is natural. It is na- tural as bird fight. Screaming down a mountain with the champagne bubbles of pure air in one's lungs, glow on one's face, healthy, pounding blood and behind, ocross the glitter- the blue shadowed ing snow, trail of one man's track across the unmarked face of the world.
For long time I have realised that I must be a born skler,
The only trouble is that i can't aki.
SO DANGEROUS
from
West End..
Martur.
by ROBERT GLENTON
of ducks after their first horse- riding lesson, they all get off down the nursery slopes. -
Dublous of his staying power, my friend took what he thought was a wise precaution and stay- ed close to the cable chain-lift which hauls people up the slope. This is where he made lift first great mistake.
His second was falling flat on his back!
Every child who has dreanad
of burled treasure knows how to live off the land. You grab your turtle and with quick Elek of the wrista fing it on to ils shell.
There are two ways of au- proaching this instruction
be done in the blessed privacy of the home.
1. It is a good idea to buy ski boots and walk around as much as you can on your toes,
2. Strengthen your ankles Stand with feet together and bending, move your weight from ane foot to the other. Try doin it with your foot tilted" on to their outside edges,
+
3. Strengthen your knees and leg, Stand with your hands at your rides, bend slowly until you are sitting on your heels, Try this balanced on your 100s. Try raising and lowering your ADI.
4. Don't forget your BAIK. Hand-presses are the answer.
8. And, 'n hula hoop. Tho more flexible your hips the better. The dry ik schools don't use hoops yet but Herr Hammer prodicis that they will.
6. Toes again. At every secret opportunity, at home and in your private office, wall much as you can on Up-toe.
7. It also helps if you can touch your toes.
That is lesson one,
:
It la at the second lesson that you put on skis.
I ONLY HOPE
This is, I think, a
tion.
1.
mistake.
The first and most popular is to visit the sports department There should be niore propera➡ in the day time, buy gay. zipped jacket, a hat with a bobble on top, a pair of ex- tremely tight trousers, and soin boots that look like ex-Army surplus but aren't.
WELL DRESSED
Dressed in, all, this you come back in the evening and pose as the well dressed ski-er.
There in # fundamental vieousness in a ski that should be warned about.
one
eno
It is fashionable to be pigeon- tood if one is a model
But on skis
promptly becomes pigeon-heeled. One ski has an unrelenting habit ot tripping up at the back of the
other.
To peer face up from the The other kind of leader .. my kind.. arrives in its city matting and glare at the in- suit, loosens its tie, takes off la structor as he smiles and says yct and "Come, Sir, we have not its braces, Nature made a turtle of my jacket, cases friend.
stands at attention, shoulders broken a leg on this course," is alightly bent, tummy sagging a embarrassing. shade,
Once I caught a train Vienna to Zurich As the day legs waved feebly in the air the The more his tubby' ski-clad
As you palso birdlike on your wore on and the express
Whatever our dress, minutes skis the instructor gathers the wiggled its way round the Alps more helpless he became,
later we were all tying on the class around on says " I eventually ended by strap- All the time the funicular floor floundering hopelessly and many people stand as though hanging as, one after another, over his hend creaked and trying to raise ourselves by our they were sitting down. You homeward-bound Bklers were wound its way, and every pas arms.
must stick in this back bit and gently carried through the doors. senger shouted advice as
lean forward.”
There were
slipped
came in sight. discs, broken ankles, fractured wrists. It was just after dark
The only men who seemed to the instructor found him. be in one piece was, I judged HURT PRIDE by his speech, a Latvian or
perhaps o Lett. But even he
อน
when
"Good for the muscles" said the instructor.
You lean forward until you can almost scratch your nose on It is at a time like this that the tip of a ski and then get the sweet bloom of the eidos: giddy. I'm assured this posturo welss, the harmonious groen of is important. an Alpino horn and the image
As for this lunatic business turned out to be a stockbroker He nowadays half-heartedly of a green hat with a shaving who had tripped over a ski and tells a story about a rescue hell brush in the band seem impos of about-turning on skis, I can assure you it "can't be done nearly
through
but he sibly far away. his copter warming up,
without grave personal injury. doesn't really "expect tongue.
be But the Instructor hastily puts believed. The bruises on his down his sal volatile and his Ski-ing is undoubtedly dan- pride are worse than they were gerous. Not so much for the on his anatomy. risk of the occasional sharp, brittle map of a limb, but for
bitten
to
No mon or woman wants to swells one's heart.
the injury it can do to ann's be humiliated like that. dignity.
And when you have reached
To shield myself from such a the age when you have enough fate I have just been to one of the dry si schools that ars collecting monoy go round brochures on St Moritz, Kiiz- opening up in almost every Bri-
tish city, buhel and Klosters; when JURI
Mast of these schools are in have a suggestion of thickening rout the tummy and a marked bit stores and conducted by re- young voltingly slim-looking inclination to pause on the top
smile and flight of stairs: then dignity Swiss experts who
stare through you with the clear important.
I have a close friend who gaze of a man who knows what
When I go ski-ing this win- manual on artificial respiration ter I shall go trudging unhap- and makes a speech which pity on, from Switzerland to Liechteristoln from Liechten- alcin to Austria and bear slight- A GOOD IDEA ly left for Germany.
Nothing will persuade me that No matter how old, how mun it is possible to manuoevre two stod, everyone, somehow, feet and two skis through 360 some day can get from A to D degrees on skis with a deal of pleasure,
to
My Instructor and I agree on Though if you are all that out only опе thing .. when in of condition, A and B might doubt on an Alpine slope... not be so very far apart.
sit down. That is pretty expen- sive advice at 30%. for Aix Irisons.
The object of the first lesson
for months after his first sld-ing it is to go out in the midnight is to tune up every muscle, Bkl- holiday would only leave his snow with a bottle of brandy ing is hard work. It is no sport and retrieve an jce-bound St for anyone who would rather home at night, and then when
lose a ha'penny than pick it up. the street lamps were out. And
Bernard.
I only hope that lesson number three will teach me how to get up again.
I have no desire to walk he had taken every care to look As soon as the last customer Every instructor has his own after his dignity.
beguiled out of the ideas of toughening the ea through life being pointed out stiletto-waisted ar "That's the than we He joined a class with the Winter Sporting Department, a tomer. Mine, most expensive Instructor in sirip of coco-matting is laid and Norwegian called Sverre Ham sare hing on his back on the sight. Waddling like a paddlu the ski run la prepared.
mer, has several. They can all Zermost.”
has been
MERRY
CHRISTMAS
AND
HAPPY
NEW YEAR
&
CHINĄ INTERNATIONAL MOTORS, LTD.
Sole Agents in H.K.— ·
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