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THR CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, JUNE 4, 1960.
SATURDAY
JAK
and
GEORGE
DISCOVER THE DISAPPOINTING TRUTH ABOUT BILLINGSGATE .......
MAY
[AY 21, 1960 was approximately the 2,400th anniversary of the birth of Belin, King of the Britons.
And it you feel inclined to dis- miss this information as trivial, then it is obvious that you do not appreciate the finer points of a Hounder, are apt to disregard the life and habits of the halibut, and have never known the delights of kippers for breakfast.
Both Jak and I. it has to be admitted, were a little short on the blographical details of King Belin until last week, but that was before we got up at dawn the other morning to buy a bit of fish at a place called Billings- gate, where we had been informed we could get the stuff wholesale
Mind you, Lower Thames Street has changed a little since Belin and his brick-
Gate layers ran up the original Belin than 2,000 years ago and topped off the job by setting fire to the boss's corpse.
more
For one thing, the smells are different. Instead of burnt king, you can now savour the sunrise odours of salt sea breezes, fish ́offal, boiled crab and diesel oil.
However, with a daily average of 400 tors
of slithering merchandise to be sorted, sold,
and sent on
10.00 its way when a market con- 18.00 stable sounds 18.00 the morning
18.00
bell at six ack the emma
25.00 casual visitor
MAGAZINE
FRED FLAUNDER
FINN
& SPAWN.
RIPPERS
ww
Landus Liprets Service.
BAD LANGUAGE OUR VICAR COULD
is hardly entitled to be per on his head, but all the gentles 10.00 nickety about the perfume.
5.00
man said was "Sorry, guv'nor!!. одвоеду? Stupendous
Mallokous;. Nitrous verbosity?
Bab! OUT viest scurrility? could do better.
What did disappoint us was It the Billingsgate language. 1.00
was something awful Some 1.50 thing awful on account of we didn't hear a solitary cuss word, 1.50
not a single raucous oath, not 4.50 one bit of ripe old Billingsgate we could gather to our bosom 35.00
and add to our vocaburary. -- 3.00
SOUTH CHINA MORNING. POST LTD.
HONGKONG
KOWLOON
BLIGHT
Jak did his best to encourage spontaneous conversation by de ilberately impeding the progress of a large gentleman making bee-line for a 10-ton lorry while balancing a box of dogfish
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ja
It was at this fevered stage yachtsman that Mr Wiard revealed what I can only describe as a sadinic
Nevertheless, he wished to Therefore, if you hinder him in streak in his otherwise pleasant Frankly, we fell frustrated. emphasise that it wasn't the the process of earning his daily
nature.
So frustrated that we demanded men who started Billingsgate's bread, you will undoubtedly FROZEN
an immediate explanation of Mr bad language, but the women! Charles Wiard, who, as super- intendent of the market on
learn to your cost that he is not unversed in the art of reducing
like the contents of one of the boxer Harry Johnston, unscarred pots--done to a turn
after 250 fights for Reptom
Norman Banks, dreaming not only of his turbot but of his 1211 Firefly and his Harry Vines and Bill Lewis from the British 1311 Swordfish Boxing Board of Control rugby forward Edgar Rangecroft and old Tom Weston, proud father of this year's Boat Race cex for Cambridge University. From the sweaty furnace of But. I reserve my favourite the boiling-house, Mr Wlord de Billingsgate character till last. flected us adroitly and swiftly Meet giant Sid Glass, 16 stone, into the refrigeration chambers Gt 2in, with arms like oaks and
from the steaming jungle to hands like grappling irona.
What does Sid do when he We got the message. We also the frozen wastes, from boiling call each other when one cod-
Mitcham after gels home to Invitation from Mr point to a thermometer reading What had happened, we asked, wife got a better bit of cod than got an
scaly of four below zero, from well- heaving haddock from crack of Inspect his
with cooked crabs to West Indies dawn? He coaxes dahlias, and to the crowd of thumb-ring another cod-wife was something Wiard to
the frail, in-curving flat-caps who sat snarling and he would sooner not repeat in domain and to converse
Billingsgate soclety, some of the 2,000-odd salesmen, turtles wrapped in ice-bound fondles
petals of his pet chrysanthe- grunting at one another over modern
porters, constables, clerks, chars, sacks. their sprats like a pack of Shocking, said Mr Ward.
In the olden days it appears to an absolute minimum the behalf of the Corporation of it was customary to permit the number of words with which to London, we held to be respon- remnants of the market fish to extend to you a sincere invita- sible for the plague of beg-your- be bought and sold by cod-wives tien to remove yourself from his pardon that had so obviously on the adjacent quayside and presence" fallen like a blight on the men what those cod wives. used to
of Billingsgate market.
domestic dogs over the cook- But this facile explanation etc, who owe him allegiance.
maid's kindness or a parcel of hungry sows trough"?
of
EXCITING
Hooded figures shoved trollies mums-one petal at a time. around like Arctic trappers, ice And when things go wrong, glinted Inches thick on the he remembers the example of walls, and even Albert Garrett, his Billingsgate friends, and
at the hogwash did not satisfy Jak. He still
wanted to know what kind words were occasionally uttered Mr Wiard, who is probably the in anger witch, say, Bill trod on
For two odorous but exclung the man in charge of the chilly murmurs a soft Tut-tut. Markel only businessman In London Fred's foot, or when
was a bit nippy. who sits in an oak-lined offlec Porter A hinted that the delivery hours we slid from white-ball to charnel-house, admitted that it wearing leather jack-boots, said of bake might be accelerated it we had been reading the wrong Market Porter B would kindly books.
step aside with his four-stone And as this same Mr Wiard box of Danish plaice,
had sprinted for Britain in the
to
Tokio salmon. Never a dull, winkles, from Dover soles unscental moment.
George
Whiting
-(London Express Service).
Chess News
After this, and a brief inspec tion of Sister Davey doing a little therapy on a porter's thick From this day forth, the ear in Billingsgate's own private luscious raptures of a lobster clinic, we rejoined the happy," laughing throng of market men. salad will for ever conjure Berlin Olympics, taken part in IN WRITING
And what do you think we Billingsgate the our minds the Dieppe raid, and helped to
bolling-house, where, in a vast talked about? We talked about For there, with the organise the Dutch underground -·-·
sea-fruit we thought politie not to
Wiard and vaulted cellar under the sport. Thus cornered, M
argue..
made his one and only ad- market, the unwary crustacea quivering piles of
Solution No. $830: 1 EXP'sht Pointing to a coloured print of mission, which I considered to get cooked for not looking rapidly diminishing as porters work rates, we found sportsmen.
11 Kt-Kts alão wina!, KxA; Hogarthian hags on the office be so outstanding that I got him where they were going in the sped hither and thither at piece
We found footballer Terry: 2 Kt-K15 eh. K-83 (2K-91; walt Mr Wiard informed us that to write it down. Thus: with large numbers of the male
Twelve steam-jacketed copper Howard, who temporarily for-3R-Bich, K-KU: 40XP mate): bubbled their scok his prawns to score the 3 Q-E5 ch. X-E2; 4 OxPch. sex working at high pressure under one root one must expect Billingsgate worker is paid only vats holled and an occasional word uttered in for the boxes of filth that he witches' brow in a temperature winning goal for Hendon in this-B1: 3 Q-B7 mate
carries
of the market, that had Jak looking remarkably year's amateur cup final
anger.
occan.
+You must understand that a
BRICK BRADFORD
THE METAL IN SADIES SHIP PREVENTS RADIO
TRÁNSMISSION.........
---50 TITAN IS CONTACTED BY A VISUAL SIGNAL SYSTEM...
out
THERE'S A MESSAGE FROM THE SPACESHIPS! BRICK BRADFORD AND KRIS KREG ARE LOST IN SPACE/SEND THE TIME-TOP AFTER THEM!
OH, BRICK!... PR. EASTLAND COME HERE!
QUICKLY!
By Paul Norris
DR.EASTLAND! WE HAVE TO LEAVE AT ONCE ...BRICK AND KRIS CANT) SURVIVE LONG IN THOSE SPACESUNTET
THEY'RE LOST W SPACE, SIR! WE'VE NO WAY OF TRACKING
THEM. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY
ARE!
James Bond as
WEBKN WHO
DOI TAN
HIM?
by LEONARD BARDEN
Fastest The
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in the
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ILFORD
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