Page
TWO GOOD MEN
COME TO THE AID
OF THE PARTY
THERE were two of them. Let's call them
Smith and Harmer. Their real names were just as ordinary, but they were neither of them ordinary men. They both had a zest for living and were occasionally victims of their own generous, but uncontrolled, emotional impulses.
14
forned They also talented song and dance aet, much in demand al Army concerts and very popular
- with the other men in their
unit.
Smith was Gunner Smith he'd made lance-bombar- dier
or
BS
with
DID IT HAPPEN?
A
twice but piano and Barmer began to never held it long: Harmer sing and dance, and then #1 couple of was an American P-fc. The they were nnit was a mixed American. magicians. fritish affair
Around milight a big, American Full-colonel
in tough-looking Italian came command, a British lieuten- into the bar, carrying and-colonel
second-in-
suitense, and disappeared command, myself as ad into a back room with the intant. a few other British bar proprietor. Smith and and American olleers, and armer hud seen this pro- a mixed bag of other ranks. cedure before. The Italian The place was Italy brought in
black market stolen stuff.
cigarettes, penicillin, etc., and resold the stuff at a fat profit. The black market muni didn't do so badly either.
small comtain town where we'd been sitting more <r less ille for the two months prior to Christmas,
ALCOHOLIC HAZE
Late one' December event ing Smith and Harmer, close friends, strolled down from the villa where we were quartered to have drink at a small bar on the outskirts of the town.
*L
Normally Smith and Harmer didn't give much thought to this procedure. But tonight they had had more than usual to drink and, in addition, they were to appear at a concert in the town in a few days' time. The ob- jeet of the concert was to raise funds for the poor children of the town in order to give them a Christmas party. Our unit had been collecting money for this for a long time.
THE CHINA MAIL,“ SATURDAY, JUNE 20, 1969.
Around midnight a tough-lecking Italian came in,
· by - VICTOR CANNING
EVER since he left school
Victor Conning has been living by the typewriter. Of his many books, The Golden Salo mander is also remembered as d succussful film. Ha now turns out a book a year,
During the wor Conning wat
a major in the Artillery. "Now, 46 years of age, he lives with his wife and two daughters in Kant, where he keeps chickans especially capons at a profit- able hobby.
contribution Christmas party funds.
to the
'E's n big bloke. I'll take is bleedin' legs and you go for is shoulders, Harmy."
"Footbail tackle?"
cook's sall dredger, bundles of dirty notes all over
TH
Britain's Babies
THESE FACTS
RÈVEALED RECENTLY MAKE A SURPRISING
SOCIAL COMMENT
by
CHAPMAN PINCHER
HIS chart issued by the General Register Office recently poses the greatest medical mystery of the Welfare State. It shows that, in spite of the statutes, in boots In the barrack-levelling influences of "free" medical service, subsidised room, behind pictures and in the milk, cheap vitamins, the soaking of the rich by te income tax, babies born to the better-off still stand a the place, After a day's hard much better chance of survival than those born to searching, everyone cursing Smith and Harmer, were sill twenty thousand tire short, The Colonel was adamant. If all the money couldn't be found, Smith and Harmer were for the Ife had the welfare
we
high jump. of the town children as much at
heart as they; in fact he had with the help of a very attrac- tive Italian Contessa, who was
the lady bountiful of the town, organised the whole Christmas Party Project. What was more, he said, Smith and Harmer wouldn't be free to put on their long shows at concerts
time.
for a
I tried to get the two to re- member but the most that Smith could offer was--
"It was a special place, sir... but can't remember."
"Sure was, major, sir," said Harmer. "Kind of real good, it But it beats hell... I mean, I can't remember either,"
was.
FALSE LEADS
We carried on the search, and the boys really combed the place. Everyone liked the two, and more than anything they
"Tant's it but don't bother wanted them to do their stuff at about the referee."
They followed the man out side and in the darkness of a side alley they tackled him.
the coming concert. There was talk of having a whip-round to make up the money, but every- having Was
hard-up, already faced one whip-round was a very tough Italian, and for the party.
He
onc
even if he'd known that his money was wanted for a child-
Smith and liarmer hand T ren's party he wouldn't have miserable day. Their bangovers been. any gentler. The fight passed but their troubles lasted 10 minutes and in the mained. They spent the night end Smith and Harmer, very
in the guard room. The lonel
re-
FOOTBALL TACKLE ch the worse for wear, left had given them until the ollow-
They had more drinks than they should have done, nothing unusual for them, and towards midnight, an alcoholic haze, were swopping reminiscences of
White the man was in the Pittsburg and London.
In back
roum Smith told farmer London, Smith-a small, what he thought about black wiry, dark-haired little marketing while the town child-
ren
half-starved, were
and fellow had been a tailor's
Harmer told Smith much ihe cutter; am in Pittsburg same thing only in a different Harmer a little smaller if accent. By the time the man
A
suitense which contained
the man lying in the alloy.
With the suitedso, they made off towards their billets in the villo, staggering from tiredness and drink, but full of pleasure at the thought of the extra food and fun the children would have with the money.
ing evening to try and think of the hiding place.
We had all sorts of false leads from them the next day, but no money-not until about four o'clock that afternoon.
It had been arranged that the Colonel should bring the Co- tassa to the villa that afternoon
anything, but fair-haired come out of the back rooted HID THE MONEY to receive the unit's contribution had been
miner. They about 30,000 lire in antes, the were nothing much to look two had decided to follow him at until Smith got at the outside and to collect an
A British Crossword Puzzle
ACROSS
利
1 Strike tents and steal silent-
ly away? (0)
4 Sorts things out (5)
7 Might It present the
car-
penter with thorny problems? (8).
8 Stage sciling (6)
Discussion (0)
31 In able to be both canned
and diledi (7)..
13 Walla Rose mupporter (7)
16 Pain of conscience?: (0) ..
"Is Light draft2(6)
19 Sávong beast (8)
20 Mins Hayward? ((5),
21 Clippers" {0YE
12
15
21
14
15
DOWN
1 Ventured (b)
IN-
2 Here's the place for a night
(5)
Mode of operation (7)
4 And wiseri (0)
G Rubbing produces it (8)
0 Go without food (8)
10 Title holders (8)
12 is present and takes nolice
(7)
13 Lively craft (o).
14 In his work ho uually takes
to the party. The Colonel liko things done in style, and when The first I heard of the affair he and the Contessa arrived was the following morning when the guard was turned out' to the bar proprietor, his black compliment the lady. Smith and market frierid, and an Italian farmer watched all this miser- police official from the town ably from a window in the arrived to see me. The police guard house. The Colone official wasn't over enthusiastic helped the Contessa from her about the case, knowing it was
car, the guard came to black market money (though salute, and at the same time- this was never mentioned; the a courtesy thought up by the Halian wearing that hig te Colonel, since we were Billeted savings had been stolen from in the Contessd's villa-the flag him) and suggested that if the with her coat of arms, long since two men could be identified and secretly borrowed from her the money returned everyone agent, was rum up to the Ang- would be happy to forget about pole head and broken. the affair.
"Of course, if Vostro colon-
nello wishes to take some dis- ciplinary action against the men, that is his affair ..."
the
SHOWER OF NOTES
A little breeze flapped Its folds
We hod an Identification out and from the gay, coloured parade and Smith and Harmer flag a shower of lire notes of all denominadons fluttered down on were picked out. In my offico I told them that if they handed the guard, on the Colonel and back the
on to the Contessa. The miss money; the civil authorities would forget the ing twenty thousand re. affair, and I'd have a word with I can sill remember the the Colonel-a_fire-eater-and. Contesta'a exelted, upturned face: try to soften, ha, wrath, They and her voice crying delightødfly, both, looking pretty miserable, "But, Colonci, what a wonder- told me their story and enld fully original idea.... Your there was nothing they would contribution to the party, drop- like more than to give the ping from heaven!" money. back. The trouble was know where the they didn't money woul
SPECIAL PLACE
The Colonel's face was CX- elted, too- a furious brick-red, but he recovered quickly andi gallantly.
When the Contessa left us she had twenty thousand lire more
T10 Smith
Colonel,
"You see, air," said Smith, than the unit had really col- after "when we got back 'ere, we get lected. cold feet about what we'd done.. giving
and Harmer a So we hid the money around dressing-down they must still the place."
remember, made up the extra twenty thousand lire from his "Well, collect 1 up and we'll own pocket,
hand it back.”
"Can't do that,
ta picki (0)
said Harmer.
16 Stupid (0)
of well 12:
major, sir," "Wo. Were kind This 'moming
1 They hold Court on the neither of us can remember
Underground (6)
1
YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD=ACTIE: 21 Skye. Eyelids. Vim. Vico. 10 Swindle, 11 Ioan, 13 Week 14 Yearned, 17 Aroso, 19 Erupt. 22 Needles, 26 Isle, 27 Vied, 30 Pounded. 22 Dock: 10 Real, 31 Pogress.82 Ends. Downs 2 Kalser. & Everis, 4EXYXanted. 8. Liintra 7 Delve. 12 Wain. 13 Sore. 18 No.-tw. 10 Dalo. 16 Sever, 20 Eiddle. 21 Place, 28 Erode, 24 Doner. 20 sider.
sorta where we hid the stuff."
They couldn't either. Wo turned the villa and 'Ita gurčena down. Out of thirty paldo thousand lien we found about ten thousand· hidden · 'ati ' 'over the place... in garden uns, rtured up the arms of broken
1
DID IT REALLY: HAPPEN?
YES
NO
Pulaʻtick against your choles in the pace, above.
(The shawer is an Fago 18)' (London Express' 'Beroton).
poorer parents.
In the "bad old days" before the First World War, one in nine of the children born to the wives of unskilled workers died soon after birth. Among the better-off only one in thirty died-three times fewer.
(20)] Bound per.1,200 Hz Be
2462
40
Battlef
70
| Semi-ckšle€
10
THIS
1011
{Managerial
Professional
1950
SHOWB
MICHAEL RAND CHANT
„THE DECLINE
THE NUMBER OF NEWLY-BORN DABIES WHO DIED, DIVIDED INTO SOCIAL Groups
sanitution and generally im- Social workers and re- parallel. This may be ex- proved public health measures forming politicians attri- plained to some extent by which all share.
But the life and death buted this class advantage, the fact that mothers of
are more differences between the social to the better food, clothing, poorer families shelter, and care available likely to have to work and groups remain a mystery, to the more fortunate child. have less time to look after
their babies.
Parallel
But social workers are sure that this cannot be the basic cauSA.
Yet what is the position | today? The losses of chil
Neither is it due to any dren have fallen sharply in remaining differences in the all groups,
of nutrition be- the chart standard 1Я shows. But the death rate in now
These differences still exist, and of young children four times greater among but they are too small to ac- poorer people than among count for the gaps shown in the of. the better-off.
A clue
Madisticiona
But the medicat point out that this difference is much smaller than would be expected, considering the od-
of the child with vantages father to Avork for it and a mother to care for it full time,
All they can offer in their report is the fact
Some clue may exist in the that "in spite of the fact that the wastage of young striking reductions in lives is slightly higher among
legitimate babies than among mortality over the 40 those born in stable homes.
years from 1911 to 1950, Ini 1950. The latest year during which period con- tween the social groups. studled by Dr M. A. Hessman
Mr J. R.
who siderable social change Heady, wrote the report,” 33 out
the relative occurred, every
1,000 illegitimate children died before the nge differences in mortality
compared with just rates
between classes for legitimate bables.
and occupations have stayed similar"
chart.
IL and
4
Irrespective
of welfare foods of one.
under 30 Instead of falling to
higher home standards, la be a general level almost common to all there seems
Intant trend leading to lower groups, as was expected, the mortality all round which may
death rates still run almost be mainly due 10 the beller Omee, #1).
*tal and Blological Factors in Infant Mortality". (1.M. Rationery
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