THE CHINA MAIL, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1959.
OFF WITH MY
ROBERT MORLEY
A FATHER OF THOS
LOOKS AT THE PROBLEM THAT FACES EVERY PARENT FINDING THE RIGHT CAREER FOR THE SCHOOL-LEAVER
HEAD, I CRIED What sort of job will
GUILLOTINES undoubtedly gain in fascination during this kind of weather, when most people consider cutting their throats at least
once,
So when, with an awful whinny and a triumphant crunch the most realistic guillotine London has seen decapitates five people nightly in a fraught piece of theatre called "Danton's Death" up at Hammersmith, the public makes rather the same sort of noise the Romans must have made when the Christian-plump lions trotted into the arena,
Д
As they bear the needless
there are bodien away few happy moans and a con- And tented sob or two. there are some, like Lady Attlee, who cry for real
blood.
Tears Tell
I coo for myself by ANNE SHARPLEY
"It's so miserable to have
THE children are back at school, and the problem of what is to be done with them eventually is shelved, for another term at any rate.
"Besides
an ability to play the pramophone ... is there anything else your son can do?" I asked a friend.
He thought for 13 n10- ment. "He talks some- times of wanting to learn the guitar," he replied.
"Well, that's a start," I told him. "He'll probably make a career on television."
"How is yours coming along?" he asked in his turn.
"He's frightfully good at rem membering the names of the actors he sees
replied
on television,“
"Possibly make a very success ful casting director, he sug- Feester
fang. Two tioners who kept getting descending hauled off to hospital with bloody thongs for tying the crushed fingers.
victim down trailed like a couple of worn out excesses Most of the cast got "Why didn't you show Home blood on the blade," around to talking about the across the floor. she asked the producer calm guillotine as though it were Scandinavian Casper Verde. the sort of thing you could to die," somebody was say Not The Same take to a party. Except ing as they whipped up the it mood for a really sad, sad The wife of the German those who had to use Ambassador pressed a tear- every night.
photograph at the front of drenched handkerchief into
the stage. "It'll be closing time before we've finished," his hand he evidence of how she had enjoyed herself.
added someone else, which And said he could keep it.
produce such a groan that the photographer, hopped to try it. It's absolutely around saying "Yes, that's horrifying.
it! Hold it-"
The designer of the dread machine a good-looking Scot called Malcolm Pride, will not go near it. "It absolate- ly terrifies me."
But so been among
"I still find myself break- Ing out in a sweat and say ing tensely. This is it, say James Maxwell. "You ought
We parents have to keep one otherwise another's spirits up
The fact is that the children we should go mad. con do nothing, absolutely themselves let They are nice
nothing for alone for us.
moderately happy children, children, honest chlidren, hope
less children.
Were we the same when we were their age? Certainly not. "It's cured all my blues.
"Don't say 1Y0 missed
For one thing we used to have I'm so glad to be alive after one," said the second execu.
to wind up the gramophone. Children Listen to the Cramo- wards," he said in the tioner, finding me all alone
phone for the name reason that far there have manner of a patent medicine regarding my fate.
the Chinese - if indeed they higher casualties advertisement.
are still permitted to do so the executioners
"We'll just do a quick jobsmoke oplum. They do it so they seemed It
for that (who will keep getting their
At Jeast, they are doing than smoggy second that any on her," said the first execu-won't be disturbed. fingers trapped)
somelling and it gives them thing that could make one tioner. The thongs were among the executed.
The parents' glad to be alive must be thrown round me I was see-time to dream.
So I must sawed horribly over to lie amicuity is to know when to The first try-out saw A worth trying.
their children and, pale collection of players try it, said I reminding my flat on my front. There was wake up tiptoeing round the awful self that those who live by a moment's gazing down more important, how to do so. implement during onc an- phoney heroics shalt die by into the bloody basket. A them and made my way to growl of ropes and a faint
other to do it first.
"We'll do it according to the script," suggested some- one, who obviously was not the first, according to the script. All eyes turned James Maxwell.
the stage.
1 Waited
swish. Then CRASH! · My' head flopped into the basket. They bore my body off and threw me in the corner.
Come to think of it, I've
rather marred by the fact to a story in my life.
busy His wife, Avril Elgar, that someone
And if you want to know screamed "Oh, no, no, no. taking photos so the guillo-
to
Worse Fate?
If we wake them too soon and
REPOR MORLEY Rob
MINING
CONDLER UP
Martur
your
coffee bar. There is nothing dis-
reputable in living en one's wits pleasant way of earning money
indeed, it is by far the most
but one must be certain that
i
son get?
I am myself largely uneducated by any recognised scholastic standard
best to encourage my own chil-・ dren to learn all the nonsense I was taught at their BEC-and more berides.
It has failed, as I suspected
their, fees. Certainly none of the teenagers I know over scema to open a book from cholee.
"Tell me," I said to one teån-
it would, to give them the agee the other day, "since you faintert clue as to what life in left your public school
really about. It has, Instead, books you read?"
tended to
unsettle them and cloud their nabitions,
When they were quite young cock in turn went
what
"Oh, lots," he assured me.
"For instance?" I asked. "Well," he replied, "I'ech'i through a remember all the titles, but I period of knowing what he or have rand a plty by Sartre she wanted do.
d
Coward, In several by Ne Both boys wanted to become fast. I would read a good deal policemen, an admirable and. I more only quite frankly I don't Imagine (eventually). And many books very readable." A Jucrotive profes
with
sion,
He said it without bittemess, the pros without repreach
pect of good retire-
If I had been foolish enough ment pay and a post to ask him what sort of life he for life afterwords as proposed to lead he might п night watchman. equally
nnki truthfully have Does either of them answered that he hadn't yet seriously envisage tuch me up his mind to lead any, a enrere today? Cer- and for the same reason. The tainly not.
trouble is that very few of our My daughter wanted children find life very Evable. to be a princess. I
have done nothing to
discourage her but she
has gone off the idea.
The trouble is that school
Better Life
Was it easier for us when wo
Or
life confuses our children so were thoir age because much between the ages of elight parents had enjoyed their lives and 18 that it takes most of more than we have? them six or seven
If one's father was a soldier
mure уста
to reorientale themselves. And or a caltor er u doctor or a civil { øø mony of them nover Servant I seen to demember tut manage to do so at all,
he wanted his son
to become -
What is to be done with my one; he onccuraged him to fol- children when they
low in his footsteps. do le ve school? Wilf they suddenly
Nowadays the one profession
discover a king for botany and we don't want our ehlidren disappear into the Jungles of foilcay is our MV. South America? Would I bc any happler if they did?
I Don't Know
Glins
to
No actor wants his son to become an actor: I've never met a doctor who wanted his children to take up medicino огл teacher who wanted them to teach.
one has enough wits, otherwise the rest of his scholars a holl- an anxious time is in store for day to celebrate the event and everyone concerned.
recover from the surprise.
Wil they suddenly discover
We want, we tell ourselves, a It is safer, on the whole,
better life for our childress than the importance of with what we for the children and for you passed at all if it hadn't been gramophone records and
I would, in fact, never have
money and we've had more interesting stop throwing it tcut on confront them think are the realities of the if you can persuade them to
job, a bigger bank balance. We for a helpful master who stood which are ping-pong balls and for once they agree with us; world before they are able to follow a more orthodox calling.
cannot blame the children f over mc, clearing his throat settle down in
bank? cope with them, they may spend besides,, you tell yourself, there
I realis every time I was tempted in don't know quite what to ex-
quite naturally it's what they successful chartered accountants for wits inter. This is not true, with only the Boat Show once of course, bul it is comforting.
hourse Indeed at to hope for.
They won't get it, most of the end of the day. or myself largely LI-
I would like my children to them; they will be lucky if they year to look forward to. If we let them dream on into educated by any recognised That I have survived in the beseme waiters, because, of all have it as good. But 1 suppor the there's no harm in their dream- them. Never having undoubtedly funk the Eleven knowledge of history,
fag about it for a learned a trade or profession. Plus exam. When I passed into raphy, arithmetic, French, or But I am not at all sure In any case, wo can't stop befall
they may turn to the stage or Wellington College the head science that I possess. But, like whether chlidren can sull Join up with friends to run a master of my prep school gave most parents, I have done my read by the time they reach
My great moment was never had a better ending the rest of their lives as un- will be plenty of opporiuntly fill in the answers Incorrectly; pret; I don't even lenew what went for themselves,
was
I
He was very
Eco- most fullting.
NO!" "Don't be silly, dear, tine was pushed negligently how it's done-well, that's a their twenties far worse may scholastle standard. I should world has not been due to any lives, that for me it's perfectly all right." into the background "Wait secret between me and the soothed the producer's wife here a sec., dear, I'll do you lending her gently off the in a minute," said the first stage.
Used To It
By the time she had re-
turned the producer had
that
executioner.
Ile trotted heartlessly off to pose like mad, leaving me alone in my corner with my guillotine.
It had a nasty barn-door
decided (er been persuaded) sturdiness and a deep basket
he ought to be first. which, with quite unneces So somebody had to lead sary accuracy had been splashed with red paint to a
her off the stage,
point fan gut of sight of the
Eventually everyone got audience."
quite used to the merry crr-
ummph of the blade and the The ropes were smeared: piops of heads, especially with red paint. The great
was the
when it
execu blade
gleamed
like
11
theatre.
-(London Express Servlet).
OMAS WISEMAN repons from
scem's
bit longer.
them....
-{London Express Service).
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THE STEAM LAUNDRY CO.
No. 1, Kwong Wa Street, Kowloon,
Gold-plated living at Bloomsbury-on-ice
Klosters.
KLOSTERS has become the handiest Shangri-la within a wagon-lit ride from Paris a place to which the world-weary or the merely world famous come to get away from it all.
What they are getting Press or merely the away from varies. It may ther
be a wife, a husband, a tax Klosters collector, the public, the cushioned
wea- most of these blights in the
life of a celebrity.
aboutten provides snow- Here, for sanctuary from pounds a day, you can have
the clean, pure life.
The air is 100 per guaranteed pure air, mountains have been was
ROUND-UP
having a quiet drink at one table.
A soft drink probably because this is the place where hang- evers, alcoholic or otherwise, are got rid of, not acquired,
I ran into such a crowd here. the other day. There Wan
Deborah Kerr,
Irwin Show, welter.
the Irving Lazar, terary agent.
Darryl
in his isolated chalet earn him tho competition for terary 75.000 dollars a tine.
Tho properties is enormous. The big tim producers are only prices you can get for them have
actress, her friend Peler Vierich, too, anxious to come to Kiesters gone up severat hundred per to make their deals and hold cent over the past 10 years." writer, Barry Kurnitz, writer, Willam their story conferences away In the 1920s writers Dark Wyler, director, Stanley Donen. from it all where you can sun- artists drifted from bar to bar in cont, cirector, Nigel Patrick, actor, bathe surrounded by snow.
Paris and Spain. They Ilved
A Tow days earlier,
Zanuck came here last week to hedically, drank a great deal, Zanuck and Juliette Greco were discuss with Shaw the script he wrote very little. They would ed whitest of all by the here. So was Gene Kelly and wrote for De Luxe Tour. Ho have sneered at the idea of a place snow, the greatest deter- Audrey Hepburn and Mel Ferrer, also commissioned another story, ilving in Switzerland,
It was Irwin Shaw-he has Director Stanley Donen came where even the water is drink- gent of them all.
lived here for seven years and hero with Harry Kamnitz, the ablo.
I would have been just too Life moves at the speed of a is known as the "unofcial playwright, to turn his Broadway
Clean GUARDING THE WHITE CLIFFS'
made success Once More With Feeling unbelievably healthy.. horre-drawn sled and the in- mapa".ef Klosters-who
favourite DOVER is sill to be defended by troops despite the growth of habitants even have time to this place fashionable as one of into a film for Yul Brynner and then was not thes
form of inspliation, arki the furthermost atomic weapons. But the town may be without soldiers tem- utter greetings to strangers they the
outposts of Kay Kendall.
ploturesque mountálna of the porarily while steps are being taken to make future garricons pass in the streels.
Hollywood.
Swies Aldi were just so trany more comfortable. The Wor Ölice has sold this following mis-
Walking through the village He came here to write, away
clicies with snow on. givings about the town's future as a military station. The decision you can hear the recorded volcea from the tension and nulso of means that the Army will continue a link with Dover going back for German singers crooning big cities. 2,000 years to the day when Julius Caesar found the white cliffs gutturedly to the ice-skaters on I talked so strongly defended that he was forced withdraw and make the rink. Otherwise everything came down from the mountains another landing attempt at nearby Deal. Since then almost every is gilet. British regiment has stood guard over Dover in turn and some Umes as in Napoleonic times--the gerrison has consisted of as many as 15 regiments.
REPLACING SURVEYING CRAFT
New export
#ound of
when he to him
Word tycoon
Today wearler, more highly pack crowd of writers and arista is discovering fresh charm in the Naturally, with so many decla clean pure life. And presumably the olher afternoon after a morning's skiing. His face had being done, the agent also has to inspiration, too. a mast umillerary flush of health New York in the person of Irving
bo present. He arrived here from
and he enthused about the virtues of a place in the snow,
Contempt
Lazar, who hot so much a Never could stand the sun literary agent ce a word tycoon. He is the man who sold Lollia THE Navy is to discard some of the motor lounches which it hal But it your ear is attuned to much," he said. "Can't take 1
Orson Welles apid comtempia- been using since the war as surveying craft. These malorauch things you can
almost straight. With snow it's fine. Hollywood for 150,000 dollars, hear the
Infinitives don't believe all wrllers ought who sold Can Can to Zanuck for cusly in the files. The Third launches, built early in the war, were used as harbour deferto
1,000,000 dollars, who within two Man;. "What has Switzerland vessels before being taken over as the small vessels operating the being split and metaphors being to live the healthy life.
"Some writers are better days of being here had so given to the world after een- Bishore surveying carried out around the British Isles. A start on coins.
writers if they cro unhealthy, another Harry Kurnitz story to turies of peace and tranquillity replacing these "old timera" was begun when the 100-ton Echo, For
-the cuckop`elock." Klosters has become « But not me. Since I've come
Stanley Donen, the first of a new class of inshore vessels, was commissioned
To with Ewin Shaw, on bên kind of Bloomsbury-on-les, a here I've become a ski addict. "The idea that aims are set up last September. Echo Is to be followed by two alaler ships to be
tace that exporta not only Gets all the tensions out of your in Hellywood is out of date," he hair of Switzerland, retorte. accepted into the Navy in March-11.M.S. Egerla, built on the
imber But words. Highly pro- system. It's quiet here. That's sald. "It's done right hers and "Yeah, but just think, what the Firth of Forth, and H.M.B. Enterprise, built at Bideford, Devon. table wonts.
what I like."
in places like this. And if you rest of the world has given to OLD SCHOOL TIE
Title small village in a jou of The quiet of Klosters has been are an agent you've got to follow the world—the stem bombe
There may, after all, be some. mow altracta แ continuous highly zemunerative for Me yout writers around to wherever stream of Alm stars, prodiscera Staw. His most recent novel they find; they can work, Hang Toi Đã ink at the pho and writers. Any day in one of Lucy Crown War sold to theft they want to work in Tibet clock and too - baring clean. the cellar. bars you can find movies for 350,000 dollars, and so you go to Tibet and the pro- linen rather than a ciena bänk. about £5,000,000-worth of talent the Alm scripts which he writes ducers will follow. Becaure today to infLondon 'Kaprem Service).
THE Royal Army. Orduance Corps School of Ammunition, in Hampshire, is to have an old school tic. It will be blue with thin red diagonal stripes and a molt of "5" embroidered over "A" alternating with the representation of à guided missile.+