Page
This Funny World
FOR BARNES
"And before I help them across, I ask them who was President before Mr Truman, just to be sure they're old.”
A
BY
THE
WAY
by Beachcomber
NOTABLE bumpkin has donshire Calmen" (Croyle and attributed the laying of Wherrell: 42s. Cd. net), says:
those banana-shaped eggs to the, "The compilers of this vade- weather. "which maker hens mecum, eschewing rhetoric, have temperamental."
given us the plain facts in alpha- berat urder. These cabmen I publish here what is prob- live. One seems to know them, be opened at ably the only photograph in lg a book to existence of the square egg laid random, dipped into under the by Pride of Worcester, Per- bedside lamp. The reader i chore hen with a will of
will, her search of renation CYT
doubl. be disappointed, but he who traves food for the mind What is so frantically will find a mine of Information. Interesting in that this which of us, for instance, could Iail at have guessed that there were quare ege was 11.17 p.m. during 14 three Pollehursts, E. L. J. N... mile-an-hour south-west wind. and W. P.? And there is surely Which only shown.
all the poetry of far-away landa in the simple name, "Volpoog, N.T.O." The compllers are to be felicitated on their integrity, awareness, and sense of values. Quick work
"Vital and human"
Mt.
RE. F. WHELKE, review- ing the new and revised edition of the "List of Hunting
TARGET
5
T
A
RLC
L
U A
How many words of For lettere or more can you make trum the letters in the LuSAFE UN the left I making eRCH word, sh letters lo each of the small squnzes may be used ance only. Kach word tsunt contain the large letter to the centre square and there must be Trast one nine-letter word in the 11. No pturalno-foreles- words nu proper zamra, TODAYH TARGET: 18 Words Dood; 25 words, very good 30 wurdia srceliant. Solution tomorrow.
YELYERDAY'S ROLUTION loth WURTHWITH HIS CHER Gram Fili biệt thith them dira (uft fært iris tre) sreth is whh with wart worth wh
THE CHINA MAIL, THURSDAY, MAY 1, 1958.
JACOBY
ON BRIDGE
North Alone Is Blameless?
By OSWALD
JACOBY
QOUTH'S bidding wa
very
Doven-
bad. With a solid card heart suit he had no reason to attempt to ind u four-four fit in spades.
Eventually when North went from six hearts to six spades South reallock the error of his ways und rescued himself to six no-trump.
This left West with quite problem as to his opening_lead He was quite mire that South find meant to get to six hearts and since he, West, was looking at three Httle hearts the heart sult would undoubtedly come in for South. It looked as if two fast diamond tricks might ba necessary and West opened the deuce of diamonds.
South could have played the king from dummy but who would imagine an underlead of an ace against a slam, South played low. East also couldn't
NORTH (D) 10
A804
KQ2
EART
❤02
• Q984 4107853
❤3
◆ KJ753
no
WEST 4Q 1095
804
A02
104
SOUTH AKJ32
10
Both vulnerable
North
East South
1.
Pasa
2 ♥
34
Pass
34
West Pass Pass
44
POSI
4 N.T.
PASS
5.
Paks B
Pass
Pora
6 N.T.
Pass
❤AKQJ1075
Pass Opening lead-♦ 2
|
A
WOMANSENSE
ANNE EDWARDS, THE WITTIEST COMMENTATOR ON THE SOCIAL SCENE, IN A PENETRATING SURVEY
***********
The New Top Drawer... how to
N old gentleman I know
there had not been as much was protesting that
change in
artel
manners.
morals as many people sup- posed. His wife put him gently in his place.
"Yes, there has, dear," she told bun mEdly, "You used to have five servants, and now you have only me."
اماد
She was right. For in the 60 yours of that old gentleman's life, so much of the social sci- up has changed. For one thing, almost all the
abockablew have gune. And among the many things that used to shock te British they rated social standing as high as morals.
Not long ago it was tremen- dously shocking not to be "out of the top drawer." Today you are one up if you come from the working-class. Even Mr Mac millan produced a crofter as his, forebear.
THE
FOREBEARS
not a baker's mine."
roundsman like
get
the
key
Last
word on TV it caused a mild Butter.
week the same word cropped up three times in one radio half-hour and, said ITV, there were no complaints.
FAR CRY
FAR cry this from the days of "Eric. or Little by
"What a surly devil that is."
One
出
SOCIAL GRACES: Then and now
*
Every shade and degree of ne- quaintaneeship used to be pitted with terrifying trops. According to a 30-year-old elquette book there is, "the friendly bow the distan bow, he
drink, "is considered worse than 'low' and those who disgrace | themselves in this way are soon cut by their acquaintances,"
No one, so far as I know, ceremonious would dream of cutting their bow, the deferential bow. the friends on that account today, famlilar bow, and the reluctant bow."
Today Sven the Quees Mother (on occasion) relies on the univerzal "Hi"
do
etiquette
FRIENDS
BABIES
VEN 20 years ago," recorda Lady Gayley, “we didn't
same
Page: 5
Keep In Trim
By Ida Jean Kain
WE
HEN. fickle fashion makes radical changes in the silhouette, new figure flaws are emphasised.
Thin season the thighline is definitely on the spot. The fetiers of late refer to assorted thigh troubles, ranging from "humpy lmba" to Bably cọn- tours, and from an annoying stocking top bulgo to pin- Cushions of fat which' perch brazenly on the side highline.
In this sedentary ago, the thigh muscles get almost no exercise. Dancers, skaters and swimmers are about the only exercise giris who got routine to keep the thighs shapely.
Mishapen thighs do not necessarily mean excess fat, for in many caBEN the trouble caused by weak muscles and Inck of circulation. Wo sit too much of the time. Walking la excellent exercise for the front thighline, for this muscle is used in the forward swing of the leg. But hero oguln, who walks much any more?
Corrective calisthenics aro the solution.
Position: Lying on side, hend pillowed on
right foldo
right arm, left hand braced om- floor in front of chest. Legs straight down.
Movement: Pointing with the
THE other day five of those angry young men lunching together vied with one another 4 to produce the most working- Little class working-class background.
"He said bis father, was
tell everyone the moment we heel, raise left leg part way up. baker," one of
were pregnant the way girls do Make wide circles from the hip them confided sald Eric.
"A Burly? Oh, Eric that
today. Now they spread the joint, circling times in one afterwards contemptuously, "But
I ever heard he was actually a mester baker, is the first time
THE shocking dilemma of not hows so carly that inquiring direction, in the other, always you swear!
to
Change heel pointed, upt 010 to friends knowing the right thing
say in with Once R was shocking not to
you're rides and repeat. Later, circle "What, never let up, even with astonishment; the rules of polite understand
24 times with ench teg, resting still having the friends. You hotl to decide not
belween each 12 counts, It used to maltor tremendous conversation. ly that your accent was "well took, published 20 years ago whether to introduce the older baby?"
The truth is, of course, that
Position: Same as above, Bred." Today a too-well-bred lists 40 foreign phrases, with Tady to the younger because the
or one death which has gone un- correct pronunciation younger. was married,
Movement; Raise left log accent can ruin you: TV career. their
the were indispensable to whether to introduce the married recorded in this era
about half way up, then raiso but a voice that is classless, like which
lady to the single one because Death of the Lady. Once 60 John Arlott's or, Ralph Wight pollte conversation.
knees touch ralsed leg. Keep South
to make man's,
Today it is safe to assume the single one was titled, You clearly recognimble because she the lower leg, bringing it up to proceeded
J. D. Pricing's or he had 12 reven because
top Eamonn Andrew's can make it, that almost no one will down- could blunder badly by not never did anything shodding straight, Hold for a slow count grade you if you never once use knowing the right moment to today she is just a log ured by of 6. Reinx. Repeat about 5 tricks in the other suits and
effect the words "O Look at the shock
U venture
Christian a woman advertising for a job counts. Change sides and per temporal West was indignant,
Bernard
got with that mores!" Bhaw
And who cares these name,
mother's help,
form again. This exercise la pronuncia- "Griselda,
a," he said, "Griselda?" In doing the research for definitely toning. I don't blame West. He had one swear word in "Pygmallon." days about correct not
ago when Ble tion eince Church Invariably "Mr Pallisert sald sho-and these articles lato the plays and made a wonderful lead but I Even five years
much Gerald Kelly used the same referred to the "Narzy jestapo? though she made no scene books of carller generations I can't blame East too
though she merely glanced at have found only one rospect in either. The play of the eight was
him once, he could see that he which today's girl does mighty, tempting and it should not have cost him game, slam
was wrong.
differ much from her mother or and the rubber.
her grandmother.
♫
imagine the underlead. He play" ed the eight and South's ten won the trick,
LARGE Indy was shown
Pass the professor's room, Into followed by a small Pekingese "Professor," she said, dog. "wherever 1 20, I seem to sec a little dog following me. Look! There he is now! I know it's all Imagination, but it gets on my nerves. Can you remove this Illusion?" "Madans," said the
it be "would professor Pekingese?" "Why, yes. Do you see him too?" "Indeed I do, See, he is real." So saying, the pro- fessor pulled the dog's ear, until
I am it barked. "Then imagining things," said the de- "How can-1-ever Ughted Tidy. repay you for what you have done?" "Qulte ensly," replied guineas, the professor, "Five please." The lady picked up the dog, paid the receptionist, went out.
YOUR BIRTHDAY
THURSDAY, MAY 1
BORN today, you have very strong loyalties, whether they be to an "SÖRK" OY - MY" incividual. You-here-a fm and practically immovable wi Once you are net in a contain rate 3 is for life. Consequent
is of the utmost importance That children bone in this date be property, muded no that they know where they are headed at a very tender ago.
and
For the benefit of the many readers who have written about the Doc, 31, 1057, hand North should have held three spades innd three clubs. The error was mine although actually I should blame the bridge gremlins who haunt me occasionally. Thanks
Do
HOUSEHOLD HINTS
you
have
bloune off excess moisture. Then iron Wedn 10 it before it dries.. and skirt that go
aro not fully an geller, but ensemble?
•
to tho .on
"May I not call you 'so?” "Certainly not I must ask you to see if my carriage is there? As she gave the com- mand she glanced at him again, and then he obeyed her orders."
#5
is
not
Position: Standing, catch hold of a chair back with right hand. Movement; Leading with the heel, keep knee straight and swing left leg sidewards a short, forceful thrust. Repeat lo 10 times, then shake leg release the ten- "A
BOYS | RTKUR,"
Lady Vigorously to
slon. Change sides and repeat' A Windermere, when her with other leg. From this same husband insists on inviting ber
RIVALS
material from wide Follow it with two coats of all pregnancy, the list of old shock woman crosses my threshold rusing the khce point, describe
If you can snatch enough of the skirt seams or a pocket to contrive a small tie or sleeve or shoulder trim, the bit of effort will make
By STELLA to all of you.
+CARD Sense the two look bought-together.
would make you good at counselling or personnel work, promotion or -radvertising
You have a natural wit but should always guard against being caustic Your the expense of otheral mind works at high speed and you aro Inrikes to be patient those whose mental processes Are slower than your owni
of
of the Popular with memberN opposite sex, you undoubtedly will
The store have given you special talents which should be developed evaty in life. You are able to wed early, Be sure you marry the envision great plans and then carry right one the first time or there
thens out. You have the mapiration may be unhappiness in store until ** well as the ability to execute. ¿ou find the person aulted to your Thi đual ability is one of the temperament, Xeyron for a brtiitant excores in
There are many faces to your (develop personally and you may
long any number of varying lines. You have the gift of expressing yourself ducidly sad would make a Eine weiter, enter or teacher. You have a clear head for busineRA and would do well i budnews and nance. You have a good sense of Lanalysis and a magrelle personality, You seem to understand people and This their understypur motivations.
TAURUS
FRIDAY,
21-May (Apr.
2) If you keep a clear head in fachange new stations, you can prove your obtain ri worth on the job and advancement.
GEMINI (Alay
22-June 213 Put your moșor emphmais vụ your Derer, You can seficipate stepped up.activity and increased eras,
born on this date Among those were: General Mark Clark US. Corell, Harry Leon Army: Marle Wilson arid Sir Philip tibbe
Henjamin Latrobe, uzeli- tect: Ira Allen Vermool states- George Innem, painter, and
Kate Smith, winger.
To flat what the stara have in akre tur sou tomorrow, select your birthday or and read the corres ponding paragraph. Let your birth- any mar be your daily guide.
MAY 2
relaxing social event. Perhaps you Inve something to celebrate,
Jan, 20)--- CAPRICORN (Dec. Expend your efforts on monyething which will contribute toward your inreated becurity in the future.
AQUARIUS' (Jan. 31-yed, 19)— Idenia and dreams are fine. It if you Want materia sesulla,
CANCER (June 22-July 23)-ractical and instrument ther Ge early start toward a new bo objective and you wait And that
make exceptional
strided to
ward your goal
(July 26.Aug. 21)- LEO
to the Confidential matter pose fare now. Act upon the decisively advantage, and to youse personal 800.
thao *(Aug. 21-Sept. ∙11)~~ Trades are now in your favour, Act -with precision and use plenty of You кать *inale self-confideos.
(Sept. 14-Ort. 2003- LIBRA Dette maltors may coll for your Eštection, now., Taize a colculated
Don't and win out.
pro-
onestirate.
SCORPIO" (Def, "24-Nov, TRETO Ro be half movemente înì'. Four-directiver POROMOK SOWwx açonferated succem
desen pli
BAGITTARIUS (Nev. 23-Dec, 22)--- But & Frat pekk week wilts
PISCES (Web, ro-Max. 20J There are wusual prospect for in creased activity. Get something to day that you have been waiting for.
ARIES- (Mar 21-Apr, Be docialve in your mellor conceTER- ing, pariberstip business aimsirs and make a francial decisión important to your futuro.
20)-
CHESS NEWS
Bolution No: 6301; 1 - ... R- Kia ch: 2 K-R2, R-RI EN7; 3 KYR, KI-Kid-ch; 4-PO KI,
Londyn Kapiens Barolon
Basth
Q-The bidding has been:
North West
Past : 3+
.? I A
You, South, hold: AJE VKDT85 QJ8543 40.
What do you do?
A-platou clubs. You” are laying the groundwork for de- fense minst an expected six or seven spade bld. If your partner insists on raising your clubs you can always get back to diamonds without too much loss.
TODAY'S QUESTION
West doubles your four-club bid and it is passed around to you. What do you do?
Answer Tomorrow.
CROSSWORD
110
4
m
12
15
19
scruss
1. Part of an engine. {U)
To paint a radiator or grill, Arst use aluminum or, red lead paint in the shade you want: an enamel after that is optional.
Between each coating, allow at least 48 hours Cor drying.
Make-up, drinking, wearing, rival to her house, "If that position, bend one knee and, bes
is endless.
"Getting shall strike her across the face wide circles. Repeat with op-
posile knco. intoxicated," says one of the old with my Jan." social experts about men and Today I think that a wife, If you really mean business asked to invite her husband's about perfecting the things, look exercise dance classes in girl friend to her house, almost into Shrimp creole tastes even From "The Small House certainly would, the girl which the teacher gives exer-
Allington," Don't better if you add 1⁄2 teaspoon At
by Anthony came, strike her across the face cisca based on controlled ballat Trollope
with a fan-f she had a fan. movements. wring or squeeze it just towel cinnamon to the tomato sauce.
Your taffeta will stay perky. longer if you are careful not to crease it in laundering.
BOYS'
·
AND
What's A Kangaropper?
-Chudy, Hollowenan-Aud· Bimané-Besow:Vinat Fe/WP/
By MAX TRELL INARF, the Shadow Bay with the Turned-About Name, looked out of the window and saw that the sun was shining, So he put on his hat and he put on his coat and wound a muffler mound his neck and be put en hir gloves.
"Those are very good things to pretend to be," said the Policeman. "When I was a boy, I used to pretend things, too."
"What things?" Knarf asked the Policeman.
Smiling And Thinking
The Policeman pushed back Kuart said to the Cat who
ኮም near the kitchen-his hat and for a moment was sitting door: "I'm going down the two, he looked up at the man, street to the corner and meet smiling and thinking, "Once," ho finally cald, "I pretended to my friend Policeman."
Cat just nodded and "bea' Kangaropper, The
Knart repented the word stroked her whiskers.
"Kanguroppert Kangarop
Kmart mn down the suney, sidewalk,
First he pretended he was a fire engine.
Then he pretended he was a locomotive.
Then he pretended he was a
Wakened. (010. Of course, Mississippi steamboat.
11. Foundation." (4)_
11 Withous come. (0)
ia, Bweet prior. 20. Go with peus: (4)
LP FEwod (4)
31. Food tu.handy containera. (0)
1. trian fans'tangg.). (U)
Boultian porricy-maker. 17) Parce for whio. (6) More often goes with 31 Auruma. Rarecuo of 14 noros, išs
Neus.
+30
141
1. Transporte MO
tion. (3)
ARTETA.
is. Ettaben a
14. OU
¢
bothe
י -י
Silver Budge
Finally, ho reached the cot ner and there alood his friend, tail and straiglit, wearing a blud. uniform with a silver badge.
"Good morning, Policeman," Bald Knast.
"Good morning, Boy," said Policerar
"I was st pretending." said Knari,
diferent I was things,"
What different
things?"
pert: What's a Kangaroppert"
·
GIRLS' MAGAZINE
"It's an animal 1 invented," said the Policeman,
"It sounds like a Kangaroo," Bald Knart.
They must have been sure," sald Kaart, that you weren't
a fire-engine or a locomotive or a Mississippi steamboat."
"Yes," said the Policeman, The Policeman nodded, “Half "they were quite mare I won't of It was a Kangaroo, Knarf,” any of those things, elther, Some he said.
of them thought I was a rabbit." "What was the other half of
"But they were wrong, weren't the Kangaropper?" asked Knart. they?" sald Kaart.
"The other half of the Kanga- ropper." sald Policeman, "was Jite a Grasshopper."
"Oh, I sec," sald Knart, “Your Kangaropper was holl ke a Kangaroo and tall like a Grass- hopper.
"I used toʻgo down the street,
"Yes, they were wrong," sakl the Policeman, "ond some of them thought I was a Bullfrog
"They were wrong, too, weren't they?" asked Khart.
absolutely stu "They were pasliively wrong," sald the Policeman.
jumping and Icaping and hop- ping," said the Policemann. "All Didn't Tell Anyone the neighbours used to wonder what I was. They knew I "You were really a Kanya- wasn't a Cat. They were sure ropper,
weren't you?" Bald I wasn't a Dog."
Knart.
Rupert and the Silent Land-21
asked the. Policeman. Erther away from Nutwood,"
"I was pretending, sald Kharf, that I was a fire en-. ino, & locomotive and a Milasie- sippi steamboat."
Rupert imow thoroughly crack and grabbing it he pulle warted.***if 1 l the balkon go himself over a short ridge and---- on down it may get blown right very gingerly climbs out to tie the past this pillar of rock and carried balloon to the bush with his scuf,
Whew! Now to wait until the A thinks wonder if I can stay wind drope, he sigha,, Suddenly here for a bit ?". Beside him a a grumpy voice behind him makes Loigh little bush is growing mit od him start violently,
PRO" ALL BIGHITA KEZENVED
Just Arrived!
RUPERT
SPRING ADVENTURES
2 Exciting New Stories. in full colour,
$1
G. M. POST, LTD.
"I'm going to meet Foliceman,”. Kharf told Cat.
"That's right," said the Police- inian,
"But I didn't tell any- body. They never know what I was."
"I'm the only one who imows what you were," said Knarf.
"You and I," said the Pollen- man. "We'ro the only one who know that, when. I went Jumping and leaping and hop- ping down the street; I wasn't a Cator n Dog or a fire-engine or a locomotive or a Mississippi steamboat or a Rabbit or a Bull- frog, What I really was was a Kangaropper,"
To glad you told me,” “salā Khart, Y.
And away Kaart went, hab- ping and leaping and jumping,. pretending to be stot a Kang? ropper bulan RopperKADER which is almost the same thie)" but not quite.