This Funny World
"Why, Mr Johnson! Imagine your being married, and not one of us girls at the office even suspecting!"
BY
THE
*
WAY.
by Beachcomber
S requested by the correspon-
dent who supplied example of Melal Herature inst week, 1 seat it to C. Suel, Esq., for his comments. As L expected, to elreifated whole thing.
the
initial
eight hours being four plus a second four, unless
therwise stated,"
Ballet without a seesaw)
FIME application made by the
He said: "The reference to the eight hours" and, the four Persian Seesaw Trio for a hours as being in continuation part in the furtheo:ning ballet of employment refers to the based on "War and Peace" has normal brick in the continuous been oally refused. Mr Coll period, before or after my — Velvette wiote to them mencement, taking into secuant the difference between the two perlods taken separately or one by one, for the purposen schedulisation not allowed to In the initial four hours,
TARGET
U A
P
L
R T
HOW MIRLY
... We consider apectacle
tilat
the of two men playing plank laid across seesaw on a the belly of a third woult in- the frutice a jarring note,
wurde of for titers or thure ust yunk frut The Ietter is The
the lell 10
making vir werd, the Sellers In each ul the sil mutare may be lost aute vily. Each word out witaln the farge LEET THE the centre #quare, Red there must be a Tout on aine-letter Warit in 196 Rot. No plurals to foreign words no proper PODKY TARGET! 18 good; 20 words, very good, 21 words, excellent. Slatioa
tomorrow......
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION : Abed Abide
Medina tām kā scanda sired, argend aria wade, bidze Badger and hammas banged hard karad MARGAINED herged Man trading beard bird bend is a strier, bird bred
his brained, brain, break, brach be inte belikte biphon wieana venta danger date darina
siner at DNJ drah dead desin that dike galved gender grad
Brand
pragline
gargardenių sibed ind The Lor
Trained TANG grid ide
Tarka nedir parą mize zalida radian FREDRIC rallied rand and read reading robind esdan rsd viband vide pidze Find einked."
CUCH
into the mining of the battle of Austerlitz. It would, of course, he possible to include the trio in the dance of Napoleon's
army, but setthout the seesaw. Siure you insist on the inclu- sion of your cedar-wood plank, re must reluctantly refuse your application. This refusal,
COLYSS
or
In no way implies slight either on the seesaw Lits-alistinguished_manipulated...
Sausages again
JOTTINGHAM
COUNTY
COUNCIL, having examined 73,481 sausages, has discovered that the meat-content in this deliracy is getting less and less. One trick of certain tanneries is to supply very thick skins of tantmwed leather. This gives the appearance of n buxom sausage which may then be filled with junk or sawdust or whatever is Tudly. At unfashionable cock- tail parties these are speared with uutsize tooth-picks tnich moteb-stichs and munch-
noisily.
YOUR BIRTHDAY
་
ur
....BY STELLA
MONDAY, APRIL 14 LIBVO A fairly PORN today, you Dwell-rounded nature. While most
of the line you are concerned with the inore serious aspects of life, you at lave time for reercation and fun. There is nothing you enjoy more than a social gathering of els friends Yel you feel there is Ame and place for all things asid, me a rule, duty will come first You
are a cul executive, knowing how to delegale unimportant detail work and leave most of your time re
for what you want to da most
You have original ideas and know how to develop them profitably Actually, you don't care too much
You must guant against becoming You tend almost to persevering.
to develop a ne-track innd and will even continue to fight for a lant cutse. Your reason tells you that veitou moderate your course or innt of view. But your emotions force you otherwise. In such cas let, good judgment. be your guide, remembering thin
etimes tru reni energes when a truly]- ilin iy wing To change with h
Just times if the change 14 right
៧៤
Among those born on this date were: Nathan Angler industri
whether they bring fame or recogines Beatrice of England; Horeco
nilion, just so you are allowed to Carry on as you with. Dette all kids of opposing wood true to your ideals, Since you llevo Implicitly in Justice and per- sonal integrity, you are prepared to put up a fight for twoih. You ar a quiet crusader and manage to de a lot ut persuading in a tenacĪN yet pelient and unauming way.
TUESDAY,
20)-
ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr Your motio for the day a "e Prepared Expect the unexpected... and you will not be luzet into falme position
2
TAUNUS (Apr. 21-May 21)- Unusual incidents are likely to mark this day, but if you are calm and collected you will be able to cope with them.
GEMINI (MAY 22-June Anticipate change for the better. Something new and exciting should be la the books for you .. Be
ready.
CANCER (June,
22-July 23)
Last minute for thate soxes This ------ÇAN prove to be a busy day if you've
been procrastinating lately.
(July 24-Avg.
21)
Alert, attention to busines may be needed today. Take care of Ant things first,
L
VID (Aug. 24-Rept.)..21)- If you are prepared, or any emer- gency, then you can relax*: tensione and take what comes, when it ArtiYOR
KATIKA Čept.
24-Oct. 23)- An exceptional opportunity may beckon. Be ready to accept it and make the best possible, use of the advantage.
22)wm
SCORPIO (Oct. 14-Nov. Children's affaltene paramount now. If prepared, for changes, you
Bushnell, tuted theologian: General A. . Chatter: James tranch Cabelt, mithor: Lee Tracy, actors; and Clair Windsor, actress.
To what the stars have in Klore fur you tomorrow, select your strthday star and
the correl- pending paragraph. Let your birth- day stür be your dafty guide. APRIL 15
waiting for! Accompilsly more than you suspected you could
(JAD, 21-Feb. 19)- AQUARIUS An portunity to make an un- expected profi comes your way. Be sue you recognise it at once.
PISCES
103- (Feb. 20-Mar, Forget routine for oner and con- centrate on reacting some objective highly important to your future,
CHESS
By LEONARD BARDEN.
Doswell
BAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec, 26)... | (Chess, Review 1933), Whit
THE CHINA MAIL, MONDAY, APRIL 14, 1958.
JACOBY ON BRIDGE
Weak Opener Good Tactics
By OSWALD JACOBY
THERE is a lot to be sold for The weak opening bid,
It
gets you in the bidding early and is very likely to lead to a good remilt. In fact most top players belleve In It so it must be good tactics.
As for the weak minor suit overcall, it is practically point- kas, Sometimes it gives the op- ponents a chance to double you, sometimes 11 warns them away from an impossible no-trump | A not tract and sometimes it helps Biely dummy play. Of course
once in a blue moon It brings in a prolit.
East's two-club overeal falls His into this pointless class.
partner had dealt and passed and he wasn't going to get anywhere in clubs.
proper.
WOMANSENSE
Parents-CAN you have a night out free from worry?
MERICA, the land
CHOOSE YOUR
BABY-SITTER WISELY
-IT'S HALF THE BATTLE
by AMANDA MarshallL.
Pare
More to baby-sitting then pulting your feet up on the mantelpiste.
to wake up in the middle of the night and be faced with a total stranger?)
and
(3) Leave a telephone number
that will
and you, or your doctor, or a friend (it may
be needed, but what harm can it dot)
where infant-man is born free and is overywhere chained fo
in the eightech-month-old san baby-sitter, EL
charge of a young planist now has just ruled that baby-
studying at the Royal College of (and, some would sitting, while remaining a
thy, a lot round the clock from their Music, who gratefully spenda
Instructions natural), baby-altting to regular panel of from 10 to 10 the evening practising on the (2) Leave
about perfectly legal profession, more
something less of a problem. cxnannies (“They've all been Rubinsteins grand plano (and,
WHETH to find a change of entails no legal rights in Elther you live, aunts, uncles, on our books for years) who one assumes, reping an car clothes and food and drink,
I under- parents, grandparents other words, as
and are always available on the open during the quletër bits).
of what kind, for the stand it, you and your baby- chikiren, all under one root in telephone and who make a ħill-
child. Ano because "It's
our zon violently noisy amity and some time job of baby-sitting.
nover wakes up," mays Mrs West's raise to three clubs was sitter cannot hope to suc relative is always at home, or
Rubinstein, "but wo have a He had no idea about each other for damages in you encourage the babies to LONG EXPERIENCE
problem now because ous curred in the course of keep adult hours, sleeping all
The agency vouches for their student's away on holiday. How - seem alarmist never duty.
through the hot afternoon, stay-
ald wo and him? By putting is becoming ing up sociably until well into absoluto dependability and ex- Baby - allting
upn notice on the Royal every day a more vital business the night and going along with tensive experience of children, College notice-board after we
11 may and will take on nobody with got the plane." in Anglo Saxon countries, lamina Resident nannies are a luxury happen to be
Brigid Brophy, young novelist and the pattern of middle-class In England-where the prolo- behind them.
with ན fourteen-month-old urban life grows more and more type baby-sitter is a shaggy dog self-contained. Each generation out of Poler Pan, and
London rates stand around 39, daughter, and no resident help. much in дл an hour, sometimes more after has a simple answer "We rely lives in small units cut off from wasn't up to
and grandparents,
resident emergency friends, neighbours, midnight, with a meal provided on my unfortunate mother who home which lives very near-atherwise we malden aunts are a thing of the logers,
end and grandparents
pro- simply don't go out." past (they are all as smart an accredited professional baby makes the hiring of a
are all being pressed fessional baby-sitter something paint, and pursuing lucrative sitters Careers from residences that are
more and more frequently into of a luxury if you're thinking of doing it regularly. (Conselen- mother a much-needed tious mothers can also wear. riving very much their own),
evening off. NO PROBLEM
One well-known comestic In Italy, where the living-
far less pattern is
up-to-date agency will supply baby-sitters
NORTH
AKJ4
NK QB G5
+KQJ73
* None
WEST (0) AUTO
J1043 B4 A192
20
EAST 42 VAT
10052 +KQI0004
SOUTH
East and West vulnerable
★AQ10 863
92
AG
753
West North
East
Poss
V
24
South 2 A
3
LA
J
Pass
U
1'ass 'ass
610,1
Pass
Pass
Opening lead......... A
** (1
the dynamite that was about to
off in his face.
Norte's jump to four spades was sound indeed. He and mỬ- uces but his hand was solid. South did a litle thinking. His two-spade bid was nothing to write home about but his partner just had to be short in clubs. A further bld seemed indleated and South bld Ave diamonds to show that ace. Now there was no further adu about getting to the slam,
The opening club lead was ruled in dummy. Trumps were drawn, the losing clubs went on dummy's diamonds and the sce of hearts trick was conceded.
Of course, the slam was there without East's overcall but I doubt very much if it would
have been bid, North and South might not have found out about the perfect ft of their hands.
VCARD Sensens
Q-The bidding has been: North
14
Pass
Esst Bouth West
14
Pass
2 N.T.
3.
Pasa
3.
Pass
3 N.T.
Poss
4
Pass
You, South, hold:
AK705 MAZ 43632 4K SA
What do you do now?
A-Bld four hearts. Your part. ner la Interested in a slum in spite of the fael that you have only bid three no-trump at your fast turn. There is no harm lu showing him the ace of hearts.
•TODAY'S QUESTION
-- Your partner continues will a bid of five diamonds. What do you do now?
Answer Tomorrow
CROSSWORD
23
12
16
Across
1. Beld for short messageR
14-5)
Short giri in the family, (3)
Vasna (D) 10. Writer.
11. Purchase. (0) 12, Dendens, (B)
14. Rulating to the Gospels. (U
17. Retura infurice. (0)
ZU, Lively movemente, {0}
31. COATEO cloth. (01
Well-meaning. (4)
53. Dworder. (4)
Down
Pale tracz (DOX). (8-4)
2. Job. (0)
Melody.
4. Quantity of paper. (6)
6. Expanse of water.
0. Afford tollat, $7)
7. Day (3)
(3)
Front MAIANKIESHIT
ime. (44. MSMOET 1010
V. Delort (4)
18. 5 -
can meet theth in your stride.
A problem
oy
New plans should leis projected now, They have as excellent chance Tor
mates in twa
Solution No. 5381; 1
10. Dyn.
EXP
Landya EsprODE SATSIOO
RICOSSI
CAPRICORN (DH, 13-Jan. 23) Ch; 2.EXR. B-24
This may be the day you have been
by EILEEN
ASCROFT
*
chemises.
says Sophia
of New York,
Thla phaath+styim
dress for summer
li le cream purah
printed with and
raus, with
#
matching short leone jackut and
large cosa hat.
*
wherever
SOPHIE OF NEW YORK BANS THE CHEMISE
B
ACK from my New York visit I brought these items of fashion nawa: Mr. John, New York's "Mad Hatter," is launching a Gibson Girl spring. Very young, very pert, very preity. Gibson bowlers in tweed straw; week-caf boaters in erbp. candy straw; haystack cloches fi coconut straw and rainbow chute bonnets by day.
For cocktails Diane circlele of white wood violets, society coronets of pale blue clematis caught with mauve ribbons and Primavera Horals of ferns and wild dowers.
She steals his ties
the
The American airt is placbing her boy friend's wardrobe.
finds his outalze chunky sweaters and toppy sports shirts mar enticing than her own. She even steals fils Des to wear with Lalored blouses and goes to bed in isis striped pyjamas.
Figures don't change
t
Solidly against the loose-look chemise is Bophie, alla Mira. Adam
Gimbel, ons af America's best known coufouriers. Sophie Tsisted that I see her collection to demonstrate how much more femining the fitted sheath can be than the ck. *Women's Agures don't change with the seasoria," she said. "So why should designers try and pretend that they do?** I loved her slim-fiting sheath dresses for day in alik sinatung or light wools, topped with brief loose jacketa Feminine blguses of fucked chiffon or printed taffeta peek out from low-out mult collars.
"Amartent colour scheme for any woman,” said Bonhle, "18 black and white. She loves to use white for dresses and costs, Just touched with black trimming.
Many of -hoc, summer dresses are of, willin, cresseter. 'votton,
appliquéd or printed with neid Rower.
London Expres
she
out $
lifetime
transport
of
nurseries
EMERGENCIES
the (4) Don't simply rely on
eldest child to be responsible.
I once met a very intelligent
and unfussy mother who said her twelve-year-old daughter, could
better probably cope than any baby-allter in an emergency, but that it wasn't fair to put the lond on her shoulders,
MANY QUALITIES
Baby-sitting is not merely a themselves into the ground pre- matter of putting your feet up
The baby-sitting bomb-storle paring a supper, tidying up the on somebody else's mantelpiece, house, and providing ditera forilled by a good meal and a are too gloomy to bear recount- simplying, and a wildly psychopathic with 1-0, television, Illustrated stock of LP's and
aide to waiting for the parents to come baby-sitter has already made nagazines and other
home. gracious living.)
the central figure in a popular The dumatic agency I spoke thriller (baby-sitting to PIANO PRACTICE
to reckons It Beds sonoono much part of the contemporary Asking around, I found that who la experienced, kind, calm, Welfare State Literary scene, Paulize del Mar. wife of resourceful, who can cope with and figures poignantly in Norman del Mar the conductor, a child who may be alarmed, of Kingsley Amis's novels).
freiful, or suddenly and in- My own point of view in and mother of two small sons, explicably not well, and who puritan probably, but I reckon has a lodger who baby-stis, bu!
Very
one
hos in the past been helped out can change a nappy and feed a If you can't find an absolutely by music students or an old very young baby. and reliable ex-family relatice General consensus of opinion seemed to indicate the following -Bll rellable
people
rules for baby-sitter searchers: already knew the children.
who
Helga Rubinstein, where pub Usher husband in Victor Gol- Jancz's nephew, leaves their
reliable friend, then a good agency is the answer, even at
Arty Lireo Billings an hour. way, what good will an evening out do you, if half your mind (1): Make it someone your child is fretting about what goes on
already knows, ĺkes and at home?
trusta. (How would you like —London Express Service.
BOYS' AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE
General Tin's Story
-Why No One Sees Santa On Christmas
By MAX TRELL
ZNARF, the Shadow Boy, and Teddy, the Stuffed Bear, and Hawatka, the Small-Sized Wooden Indian, all sat down in front of General Tin, the Tin Soldier.
"Sir," said Kharf, "I wonder fit you'd be good enough to tell
us something."
"Something very important," said Teddy, the Stuffed Bear.
"Something about * man named Santa Claus," said Hia-
wallo
At this, General Tin looked
I found the Cal asleep next to the furnace. The Dog wa dozing by the door.
All Were Asleep
its head under its wing. The The Canary was asleep with
Goldfish was lying on the sand at the bottom of the aquarium. The Mice were fast asleep. In their holes in the collar wäll.
"The only thing that Was moving was the hands of the clock. But that was very im→ portant, because how would anyone know whether it was Christmas Day unless the clock
- told what time it was?
Tin looked up the chimney to see if Santa was there.
-
ΠΟΥ
I decided to stay up and Santa Claus wouldn't be com- surprised for a moment, "It's wait for Santa Claus to come ing." long past Christmas," he said and deliver his presents," said "I don't know why you should General Tin. "I looked up the Teddy nor Hiawatha could keep anything about chimney, to see if he was there from exclaiming in one voice:
want to know Santa Claus."
Have You Soon Him?
"He wasn't in the chimney.
At this mother Kuorf,
coming?"
"I looked outside the door to "Why wouldn't Santa Claus be sce if he was coming up 1kc street.
"Because," sald General Tin, "He wasn't coming up the "a creature was stirring."
"Well," sald Knarf, "what wo street. want to know is this. Have-you- !!I looked out of, the window. ever seen Santa Claus?"
to see if he was climbing over Once more, General Tu was the garden wall. allent,
Presently, however, he clear- od his throat and said, "I am sorry to say that
I never saw
"He wasn't climbing over the garden wall.
Tin Was Worried
"Who?" asked Knar?, Teddy and Hiawatha,
"Mel" said General Tin.
"What did you do?" asked Knarf, Teddy and Hiawatha,
"Do?", sald General Tin. "I
He
Santa Claus. I tried very hard "I began to get worried," sald stopped stirring. I went to sleep. If you alt very General Tin, "for it was get. No sooner did I shut my eyes, to see him.
Ciaus came, quietly and don't Interrupt, Til ting light and Christmas Morn- than Santa tell you exactly what happen- ing was dawning. Where was must have come. For the preK- Santa Claus? When would he ents were there the next morn- Then General Tin began his be coming? Or would he be ing. But that's 'the resson: I
coming?
леуст Baw Santa Claus, And "And, then, nfl at once, I that's the reason, no ́ona elso *IL was the night before thought, of the reason why ever will, elthee" Christmas. Everyone had gone
ed."
story.
to bed early, for the next day would be Christmas Day, thef huppiest day in the entire year. Trusty Muskot
my
"The poem was right. As I stood by the door with trusty musket over my should-- er, I nolleed that 'not a cren- turo was stirring
"Not even a mouso-" Teddy burst out.
General Tin frowned "No Interruptions, please," he sold.
"I'm sorry," said Toddy, "I won't do it again."
General Tin continued
. ܐ hia az
with
Just to be sure that not creatures was stirring, not even a mouse," General Ti went. on,!"I went through, the house zad thecked."
Rupert and the Silent Land-6
"Why
Rupert looks stuxious. are you still ride there 7" he asks." And what were you doing up acting? **** Don't ask ques
he gaspa. - ** My left ankle is done for 11 can't move ! Thank good- ness you're here. Rupert. Would you let my master know and pat
- fiona and help me up."'", says the -- more help ? 10-1 Yen- of courie
dwarf. " l'as stuck among these
the Scouts are nest,” says Rupart.
wendy.". Rupert gives him a hand – Basing the other down, he burcing: and the dwart lets out a proan," away, and shouta, so the Scouts. "Chuch 1 Oh dear, 1 am hurt."!". to wait for hirm,
"ALL"BIGUTA KESEKYKU