This Funny World
of Place
CARD
"That report card probably wasn't meant for me. There are several Herman A. Vogelswinner, Jrs, in my class, you know.”
BY
I
THE • WAY O
by Beachcomber--
LADY who complains of her ure fried cug us a book- husband's eccentricity, be- markey, and take door off its cause he ciba hin Juxuriant hinges when they want to corne moustache with hedge clippers, should congratulate herself "that he does not shave with a scythe,
Why, my dear lady, there are absent-minded men who alir their tea with a polla, try to uneoric bofiles with a telescope, wear boxing-gloves to, sört anin' eggs, and try to site along a
light-rope in diving boots. They peel oranges with n stair
rod,
CROSSWORD
Across
"1. Prognostications. (9)
123
s. Dona with, (4) 10. Joinx, (3)
kzisted later than, 104
13. Dorivative of cond. (23
13. Marked, (0)
10. Part of a building. (0)
(17, 2xlet. (3)
2. A DORT for
storyteller,
21. Engagement ring. (40)
B
2. Vegetable, (4) #5. Zoll-tale (5)
124, 2004 and Boda, ((0)
175. Certain kind of
brown
1. Kicked about
Plader, 19)
5. Mutta
Over
5. The womati,
# Karlsd.
14 Pinanciɛuyi
embarrassod.
(0)
moor,
5. Even. (4)
into a room. It all depends on the point of view, on the man said when he bent down to look at the Matterhom through his legs.
Tally-ho Colonel
Mutterspoon!
is a mistake," says a rider to hounds, "lo imagine that I is only the rich and the aristocrats who kunt nowadays.” Yes. For instance, the hounder who rode a donkey to a meel, with a sack of ferrets siung over
THE CHINA MAIL, TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 1958.
JACOBY
ON BRIDGE
Expert Loses When He Wins
DJ OSWALD JACOBY
"LOOK at this hand from last
THE
night's duplicate!" de- REPORT BY
manded the unlucky part
sco
I studied the hand and re- murked, "Enzt and West can make three hearts without any 'trouble but I don't
how either can get In the bidding. North and South can make three spader but probably will mis- the spade frease and What happened make only twp. to you?"
"South became declarer at two spades against me. My partner opened the Ave of hearts. won dummy's king with my ace
WEBT AQ94
19654
◆ A 10 49307
NORTH (D) MAJS
K2 J97
A6052.
EAST
82
SOUTH
AQ 103 B063. X34
ax 10782
87.
KQ+2
93
West Pats P
East and Weat_vulnerable North East Bouth FORM Fas 24 Pass Pass PAS Opening lead-♥ 5
1
IN.T.
The three of
and shifted to úlaimonds. My partner took his
and ---- returned-the- -ten- ace
jack held Dummy's
the trick and the next two plays were the ace and Jack of trumps, South thought about his own play for a while and then decided to
nesse. My partner won
the
tis shoulder, had the Wrong queen and led a heart to me. I Idea altogether. And 1-remem~gave him a diamond ruft to sel ber an occasion when a lady at the contract."
huuse-party was asked, "Are "A very neat defence and you a follower of hounds?" She replied. somewhat houghilly, also poor play on the part of I commented. He "They usually follow me." And declarer,"
certainly should not have belleve tac, hounds in the word for Tony, Major Futtigue he did. What happened to your jeopardised his contract the way Spult, *Bippy" Trudeagic, Judge McGherkin, and the usual bad luck?" whole crew of them. Seesaw and ballet ·
E three Persians issued the following, statement yester day, on their failure to secure
"It was there all right," said the unlucky expert. "It seem that at all other tables North and, South managed to get to either three or four spades. They all made exactly two odd so all our fine defeaco did was
Paris in the "War and Peace" to get us tte for low score. ballet: "Seesaw is hari.
ΤΟ
balince a plonk on yore belly
with u uman being at haltherCARD Senses,
end, up-down like in the orbun
bord avuzzi, is beeyuterl
rothem to beuld. Towelatoy and
Is Trossacks is ortrite, but hour seesaw wood be taking a hord- iunce's mind hoff the orrers of the battle of Hesperiiz and the parish churches. rectreeting in the anowedup hjce from the Kranulins. Den pleeze not say seesaw WOS child's game. Oldage men with int grey beords can do it for there eith, and many a primer bullyreener wot can kick er at hoff or preform the splitz wood be provid to minaaldge a seesaw with hour skill. Wot a pitty hit orl his."
10. Wavy. (6) DR
20
e. A doOT. MAI
191
Tilda'
thi
YOUR BIRTHDAY
TUESDAY, APRIL
By STELLA
PORN today, you are shrewd and learn to make constructive suggen- calcula ling 1 making your ons, then your criticions cate Jo plans. You are that rare comina nome good. Since you have a good visionary and the emery you are able to use part on of the practical individual who appears recognition and experience in eur able to make initial plans come to rent problems. lit4. Although you
Food the qualifications of an executive, They food only to be developed to money-snaker, you are not merely Interested in getting clh, You Sho prove highly úmeful in your career.
ste a
to have 4 unsically Interesting idea which you can develop.
You have a tremendous store of physical and nervous energy and
because of this, are theindely. scatter your Interemta 100 You are always active and aro Bike-
You have postio of
You of the fade ver are quite emotional and probably will have
than one romance before more settling down to marriage.
Anong thone burn on this date were: Otto Fluant Leopold von
ly to have a number of frons in the smarck, statesman: Wallace Berry
fire at one time. You may discover that you would advance faster to ward success if you were to con centrate on one thing at a fine.
and Lon Chaney, actor: Laurette Harvey, Taylor, ostrom; Willin physiologist, and Henry B. Anthony, statesmant
Your critical faculties are well- To find what the stars have in developed, and
women, alore fur you tomorrow, select your especially, nust
against birthday star and read the corres appli becoming chrono fault-anders. This ponding paragraph. Let your birth- gets you exactly nowhere. It you day star be your daily hide.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2
LIBRA
23-
ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 20)
Sept. 24-G¢L," Take care of your health and see Make careful plant for tomorrow that you have good energies to and the day following. The tide in complete today's "ncersary tanke. turning in, your favour for a few Best this evening.
GAYE.
a1-May
2)-
TAURUS Capr
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov, 22)— Property matters, perhons involving Die children,
for your Use this day to consolidate recent come. up
Flande problems golos. Your efforia now will count
for a great desì,
attention now.
wissly.
GEMINI
(ny *2-June 21)- BACITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Déc. 2)—
If a title confused over compiled- Your state of mind can prove in-
your life, tako Dorian today. Look on the bright tions in side of things and you make better now. to think things over carefully. than kyerogs KRYSTORE.
tune out
CAPRICORN (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)—
· CANCER (June 27-2019-23) Deat for realine work today. If you This is the time to organiwo things are involved in businen at a diam at home and at - tho ɑmice, sar o lance, consker detalle on that front abort trip may be done.
LKO
now. -
23)-- IL-AUS.
AQUARIUS (Jan. Hi-Feb. 19)- 2 Tou have been overdoing things You may follow your intuitions lo
that they Intely, now, in the Sirw to get some day and feel conuent
will lead you ougrecity),
Tuda i
OLLOW,
*{Aug=A-tapi.
dey for clear thinking. 10. PISCES
Q-The bidding has been: North Fast South
West
I
2 N.T.
Pags Pass
Pass
3
Ppss
3 N.T.
Pass
Pass
5
Pass
You, South, held:
SAKJES WE4 4479 41053
What do you do?
A-Bld Ave no-trump. You want to make one more slam try. If your partner passes here you should sill be all right.
TODAY'S QUESTION You hold the same hand, The bidding has been; North
East
14
Pars
2 N.T.
P059
Bouth A 3.
Well Pass Pasy
44
Pass
What do you do?
Answer Tomorrow
* (Feb, 70-MAT. EO) Com at home or in wis lygu bær RODS outing to
ows, flokki, get it done now: Pul 2012 1. 3-cam bé : of your
CHESS
By LEONARD BARDEN
Robb
WOMANSENSE