Page
This Funny World
BILLKING
"Your blind date's downstairs. Too' bad you went to all that trouble."
• BY. THE 。 WAY .
by Beachcomber
QUME time ago I inserted in brochure "Llandudno Through
this column a poll: five com- The Ages."
pletely meaningless questions, with a space for answers.
The answers were to be sent to a non-existent institution t a non-existent street in Welling- ton, New Zealand. Yesterday three letters were returned to me from Wellington, are "Address Unknown. Inside were completely meaningless answers to my questions. S everyone is antisted, except the Now Zealand postal authorities, to whom 1 an ending a first edition of my "Dry-By Fishing Somaliland," and
In
TARGET
E V R
ER
R S O
ги
my
Huwurde of
for titers or mura can you inaku from the setter in the
the left
A
Ent
rac
the wurd lettera ka each of the Minuli siquarry say be used nive only. Earl word must contain the large it in the centre square, and there must be al least une nine-letter word in the to foreign- list. No biurul
Daines. words AÚ VIODer TODAY'S TAUGET! 21 wardy FOOL 24 wurde, very good -28 Hointion WOTER. Execilant tomorrow
ZATURDAY'S JUKUTION ott zxponit denkt datis necal UESPOR diet dert dels edil se atop import am >>>
mele midat must misten met wat nog
res met it led a
weslie 2011 prest nested plaste seas th we sit amela semiće snit qpite called İŞİ LUM view slipe nog med de red 1me time tmesin tudi v taped to farted.
Oh I say, look here!
EXPECT that the curiosity
of many people has been aroused by a film actress who is raw, throbbing personality. Tander roils in her eyes, forked lightning flashes from her lips." I will hazard a guess that every time she scratches her car s
scorching, soul senring, volcanic dynamite. Her atomic le is so radioactive that the audience is blasted by a tornado flaming, rending of screaming, passion,
is
Getting together
VIE splitting of the second of the Shock Ginger Groups Inside the
Left, Right, and Centre Shock Pep Group of the Labour Party may lead to the formation of a 'Shock Pep Ginger Group to resist the unoffelal underground movements in the constituency factions. A spokes- man said, "It
a kind movement counter-counter
chsure co-operation.”
of
10
A leading question
PORTRAIT-PAINTER who was introduced to a dis- tinguished-looking vil magnate last week said: "Have you ever been done in oils?" In the silence that followed you could have heard a derrick drop,
YOUR BIRTHDAY
BURN today,
...
MONDAY, MARCH 10
everything
THE CHINA MAIL, MONDAY, MARCH 10, 1958.
JACOBY ON BRIDGE
South Traps Self By Play
By OSWALD JACOBY
ΗΛΙ
won
TARD LUCK JOE the
opening trump lead in his own hand and promptly led the Jack of diamonds. West covered with the icing and Joe took dummy's see. He returned to his queen of diamonds and drew trumps, stopping in dummy. East let a low heart go.
A third diamond was led and rulfed and when West discarded heart Joe suddenly realised that Jus contract was in jeopardy. He thought a long while and finally played the Jack of hearts, East won with the queen and returned the ten. Joe thought again and ducked. East led another heart and West was in the lead with nothing but clubs. Joe had ditched' a diamond from dummy,
West Icdl a low club East's jack forced Joe's ace but now
WEST AD14 ❤107H
A9703
NORTH AQ53 ❤54
17
4K 10 4
FAST
102
◆ K4 AQRAS
Q1003 10852 4J75
SOUTH (D)
AAKJOG
KJG
+Q3
A92
Both vulnerable
South
Weni North Earl
14
Pass
2♣
Pass
4 A
Pass
Pass
Pass
Opening lead-44
Joe was able to lead the ten of clubs and finesse against West's queen.
"Well," smiled Joe. "I finally
in Inade one
bad spite of breaks."
"You mean in spile play," sald North.
was a clach."
of bad The hand
North was
Joe had right. fought his way out of a trap that he had walked into at trick two. Joe should simply have let West's king of diamonds hold West would the second trick,
trump. probably lead a second Joe would win in his own hand, cash his queen of diamonds, third with a enter dummy trump and discard a club on dummy's ace of diamonds. Now he would ruft one diamond to cet up dummy's fifth, return to dummy with the king of clubs, the last discard one heart on
By STELLA diamond and then lead a heart.
Four odd would be home and good Joe would have had a chance to make five.
you hold their Interest by sustained production. A single den, swiftly jjected is not always the best way to get continued be
support on too the all-out production level,
one of you have those strong, forceful character which taken stride.
however, You must, warned egginst becoming dogmatic, You like things to your way and you can become a Il dolcuit if others try to du thinpe their way-under your supervision Actually, your visun and judgment are excellent and your method is often the one. By using a Hele n
tact ncl diplomacy, you often will get co- operation easier.
You have an inventive mind. always knowing how to promete your now idea to the best advantage. But you can get obotin- ato and exhibli a rugged deter-
rination
There is a strong religious sirenk in your neture and your dealie for justice and your will to uphold the Fights of others la well known. Since you
would never
oversteu
the boundary of exact truth, you don't expect others to, either. You ore a litle too gullible in this re- gard. Test all friends before giving them your complete confidence.
Among thone born on this date were: Dudley Fuck, noted organlat: Henry A. Hine and Jakob Wassermann. authors: William K. Korner, educator; Jeremiah Gridley. early Massachusetts jurim anal Alexander II of Russia.
To find what the stars have in sløre for you tomorrow, select your birthday star and read the corrNG- ponding paragraph. Let your birth- day star be your daily guide. TUESDAY, MARCH 11
with anyone who dis with you. Guard agalit thug traff and you will find that Books Comics more quickly, You do have a magnetly personality and know how to use it forerfully. You automatically attract people of un- pariance into your orbit. Seo that
17cb. 20-Mar. PISCES
20) Are you making the most of all business and social opportunities at If not, find out why and Band? correct 11.
ARIES
(31ar. 21-Apr. 20)-
A generally exciting day with a lot going cel Guard "against under-
..
CHESS
BY LEONARD BARDEN
cover intrigue that can injure your best behaviour,
TAUKUS CAPT. 21-May 21) Be warned against the unexpected.
Don't take even a calculated today. Stick to Inanday routine.
21)-
(May 22-June GEMINI Utiles your native shrewdness and elever can to get out of some
feulty and land on your feet!
CANCER
V-CARD Senidens
Q-The bidding has been: Wert North East South Double Redbl.
You, South, hold: ABER WATO 4932 4A042
What do you do?
-Pun. You have two aces but can show them Ister. Mean- while, let your partner pick s sult since you have a completely balanced hand.
TODAY'S QUESTION West bids two diamonds and North and East pass. What do you do now?
Answer Tomorrow
CROSSWORD
(June 22-July 23)- The service trades are especially favoured just now. Pay attention to 12 your Jab. The path of romance is no1 100, amooth.
LEO (July. 21-Aug. 21)— There may be complication business partnership unless you are quite careful to take the lead and hold it,
The Belgian champion QKolly makes a speciality of winning first prize at Bognor, where ha has won three times running. Elero is one of his games there out. (Spiller v. O'Kelly), 1 P-04. K-KB3; 2 P-QB4. F-K3; 3 Don't mix
23)-
Any
VIRGO
24-Sept. (ADE. This can be a day of trial for you. That if you are up to hunting kind of an emergency, you can win
LIDRA (Bepl 21-Oct 21)
business and pleasure
activity Boch
Keep
АЕГОНЫ
1. Disconcert, (9)
10. Sweetmeat. (7)
"Polat. (6)
12. Bid. (5)
0. Bbe, in France. (4)
11. Funny. (B)
19. Mater. (4)
Eti
14. Bky High), (4)
10. Argo
10, 350kp. (0)
K-Q83, B-KP-QR9. separate pigeonholes to avold.com- BxItch: 5 PXB, 1”—B4; 6 P-pileations. K5, P-Qkts; ↑ B--Q3, B—K12: SCORPIO
(Oct.
24-Nov. 223--
8 P83, KL-B3; 9 K-K2. There is an overies of certainty FQB1: 10 P-X4. Kt-QR4: in all your business affairs
11 P-05 B-R3: 12 Perial procautique to evold trouble.
3. K-KK11; 13 P-Q3, BX
BAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec, 22)~~
P: 14 BXB. Q-R$ ch; 15 P-- You are in the spotlight today and K:3 QxB: 1 R-CKI, P it is up to you to mossure up to the
KB; 17 P—B4?. Q-K51; responsibilities imposed. White rosigns.
Solution No. 6302; 1 At-B4, K-3 ch; 2 E88, or Kx m; 2 Rt-05, or R-Q8: 2 Rt... 43, or R-R2; 3 KL-RG, or R Q5; 2 K-KIS.
London Buprest streles
(Dec. 25-Jun. 20) CAPRICORN Dual trends are ant to be at crom purposes today. It is up to you to gực thing artraightened out really.
AQUARIUS
21-Feb. 19) [Jash Don't let complications enter your | Bie; Things cats be inrebred enough
wilbout Lanti"
20. Kind, 201
zii a word ouong tæven, (5-4)
Down
off place, (2)
3. Quickly. (5) 4. Opindio. (4)
10)
6. Fiet
-7. Una dgrar.
9. Pupil (7) 18. 08110a
monsy. (4)"
16, rophet
17. JiandaoE).
(41
T
* * *
**
* * *
*
Paris.
10 solve the enigma that is Marlene Dietrich having to work for her own to publicity you must go Paris. As I arrived here for My week-end her new pic- ture, "Witness for the Pro- secution," opened. And everyone (but everyone) is talking about her perform- ance in it.
WOMANSENSE
It might be a grand country
house...it might be April in Portugal...it might be New York or
just at home with The Goons
Week-end
with Nancy
This is not surprising, for she La very good. And not only she good, but she has written and cabled to everybody (but | everybody) in Paris worrying that no one mention her fabulous double performance. In England her acting as frozen Germaan wife and repellent cockney fancy lady in a black wig passed unsung because United Artists thought the audience's prelmowledge of Marlene's disguise would spoil Agatha Christie's plot. Sa,
like the bright raid they,
talk please don't
us to start a campaign on her dazzled me
the along Bights
Champs Talk about Marlene,
ubout behalf. Chorles Laughton, but not Well, Marlene, this is rae Elysees.
starting it. I hope you 1t....
Mariene.
So
from Madani, fres); triumphs In Las Vegas, where she does n soft-shoe shuffle smoothly to "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine," nevertheless feels DO insecure that she implores
co
HE WAS TAKEN IN
when
all
I
saw
over the
[THE SURNAME IS SPAIN]
I
of the upper crust чусго spectacle enough.
Everyone kissed everyone
both checks and elce on N. Spain ( her crazy efforts suddenly found myself embrac- not to let the side down) had ing Colette's favourlie husband
evening dress Mäurken Goudcket, who actually put on for this Occasion and so was right by
me (Brigitte Bardo! £000 panther was right behind), and then the draped in an coal (like leopard but even show began.
Balmain passsed right by shouting that ho Was in Now K (I was in A) and I thought he looked a bit side- ways at the cont
INCIDENTALLY, it is very
silly of United Artile to smarter) borrowed for the night from the collection of Pletre because fuss, "Witness for the Prosecution" Balmain. hero everyone cinema Wad saying "Wat's me,
that black wig for?"
her voice is This is because unchangeable. Even when she says her lines she cannot say the word "Right" any other way but "wight,"
Another View Marlene dressed herself up in
Of The Spring Head
THE EYES HAVE IT
now
OR the short skirts of spring the pageboy out is out. Top model girl Bronwyn Pugh wears the brief, frothy style (created
by French, al London), with its flicked fringe swept down to the brown and loose Waves brushed on to the cheek. The boxy width in front and emphasises the ayca the upper part of the face.
London Express Service
HE LOOKED SIDEWAYS
WONDERED should I exF something, such ag thank you, because we then thought not,
fghing steadily and shoulder to shoulder
But, on the other hand, when Marlene was making "Witness for
were
and
N
Was
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS
TO one paid the slightest at- tention to it. Indeed it was impossible to see anything at all because for most of the Brst ballet the dancing young ladies and
THIS
WATCH FOR WEEK- . ENDS WITH NANCY REGULARLY gentelmen lay flat on their backs and waved their feet in the air and I could not see them, on account of the footlights.
AL curtain-fall
Petli,
SPRING.
said he was sorry....
the
and
Chouted to mo he was going to and dozen Klostera to get some tan the Prosecution"
up the photographers leaped lightly on discuss doing a play from "Ludy wandering round the Warner great stairs between the scarlet to the stage, turned their backs Crown" with my friend Irela Brothers lot wearing her black gold and royal blue soldiers of on Zizi Jeanmalze and Roland Shaw. wig and cockney lady make-up, the Guard of the Republic.
who were bowing, and
Jean. (called Jeannot by his slie met (and talked to) Alain "My, how do they get them began to take pletures of the Bunheim, sharp-eyed agent to to turn out for this, I wonder?" auditorium. For a bit I thought friends) Marals stepped in my
Philippe asked the photographers were Francoise Sagan, and one of the actor Gerardo
parts toa and brightest boys I know, and he post Jean Cocteau.
of the ballet, and applauded and the flashlights of
snapped photographers "I expect they come in a box them. never recognised her at all.
banged. lend soldiers," was the "I wondered why they were like
the Then
entire audience that fuss of such a reply. making dreadful woman," he said, "but Everyone was giggling, every (except the poor darlings in the gallery who one was staring at everyone upper circle and there, being French I suppose I just can't sort out the accents," else and making remarks about had actually paid for their seats)
their
in clothes
un- Very surged through the pass door No are blinded on thought English voices.
and lady who took me by the arm Loud comment that Bettina, pagne,, More Giggling,
very Un-English and began to talis to me about real, who was with Aly Khan, was Further
someone called Gilbert Becaud, FROM Marlene to
Remarks about trapeze line Personal wearing the
of F
a sort Paris First Night, to the not
who I gather is this season. another's appearance. Alhambra
French Frankie Vaughan, in the midst of created by Dler
"Hm," sald Montmartre, By
Only.
A FIRST NIGHT
#
Invitation
"that's same wit, why they call racehorse owner and millionaire Boussac
who
HER BRUISE
enormous
bruise
Just,
one
SWEET PUBLICITY
or
لادو
It seems that Brigits and this Mr Becaud aro very, very
en her friendly and the French people, the sweet smell of Bro Very
Here I was-to see the new put all that money into Dier Z JEANMAIRE, with an
The Man on the Flying Trapeze Zizi Jeabmatre Roland Pallt ballet. Мете all the gratin Line." (which in spite of the fact that
it means cheese is also French for "la creme de in crerne")
NO ATTENTION
fight like wild stallions in the FROM time to time organiser
their over
re-
us
Alexandre
shouted
and al
Diana
the who love wandered through crowds looking like a mosquito- romance anywhere, weight boxer in a big white pleased about it. The only way bathrobe Indo of Turkish that they can meet is on French milliona TV in front of those and millions of people. towelling. Raymond
Lady
Cooper (still minions through a microphone: grimly refusing to be called the
and gentlemen, Dowager Lady Norwich) said to
all It Was thought "Please, ladies the spectacle is about to com- she
pald the marvellous and didn't million- down mence," and no one
alre Pierre-Louis Weller who slightest attention.
thought that was by her side thinks so too? All the
They obviously evening dress, and their white Brigitte Bardol, Jean Matals, He said "Yes."
Aumont, a bit romance. Усал-Ристо and wife bosoms and rich furs and Jean-Pierre Aumont
his hair en broso sweet publicity to me, fantastic scents and diamonda Murisu Payan, and all the rest pale with
entrance
Uckets, handed out by attractive Ray his mond Alexandre, who is sponsible for deciding whether or Aly Khan Marcel BouSIAS shall have the best seats.
women
were
BOYS' AND
The Surprise Party
"M
Everyone Came But The Honored Guest-
By MAX TRELL
R Punch," sald Knarf, tho Shadow with the Turned- About: Namo, as he gave his old you friened a shake, "are asleep?
Mr Punch had his eyes shut. However, he now opened them alowly.
"I was usleep," he said. "Why did you wake me up?"
"Well," sald Knarf, “I'm about to go to sleep mysoit and I was just wondering if you'd like to tell me a good-night story."
Mr Punch smilat
Make A Promiso
"Will you promise," he sald to Knart, "that after I finish telling you
my story, you'll go
promptly to bed?
"I promise," said Knart.
"All right," said Mr Punch. "I'll tell you a story about a pet Cow of mine whose name was Dimple, I call this story, Dim- ple's Burprise Party,"
Kaarf at very sill while Mr Punch began his story,
"Now Dimple," Bald. Mr Punch, was quits a largo Cow. with black She was whito
while patches, ar black with
way. you patchen, whichever Hhoppen to look at her.
In
Dimple because birthday.
It
wag
her
All Wore Invited
1
"Isn't it sad?" cald this lady me. "And Brigitte is all alone tonight, That's why she's
there in the auditorium all alone, being photographed." I don't know I'm sure... about the sweet smell of It smells more like
GIRLS' MAGAZINE
the Stuffed Bear, to Picki Poo, and flowers. There were boxes the Poodle, and Blackle, the of candy all around. There were Kilten."
cakes and jollies and jams and "Didn't you send an invita- cookies and muffins and puffins tion to Dimple?" asted Knart. and doughnuts and crullers and
peanuta and popcorn.
And Mr everyone came "with a present "Of course not," Punch. "It was her surprise for Dimple." party. If I sent her an invita-
'wouldn't tion, sho
- "So," continued Mr Punch, “I prized”. sent invitations Lo all friends,
our
to
sald
ie
Mr
saki "It was her surprise
"But Dimple wasn't there!" Bald Knari. That's right," said Knart..
"Certainly not," "Finally," said Mr Punch, "the Punch. "I sent an invitation
ar- party," General Tia, the Tin Soldier. to day of the birthday party
to rived. Mary Jane, the Rag Dol}, Mrs Cuckoo who lived in the Wooden Clock, to Miss Doll, to Hiawatha,
China
Lots Of Goodles
the small- " had the whole room deco- sized Wooden Indian, to Teddy, mated with ribbons, streamers
Rupert and the Lost List-29
At the top of the steps the toy. this? Most irregular. Most soldier, after curtly telling Rupert ingular !" says the metrelery, to wait, disappears through a pair The failure of the Golly and his of doors. In a moment. Rupert men is bad enough, but sending hears a muffled voice that sta a little bear Oh dear "** Burl nearer and the doors awing open Golly didn't fail,” cries Rupert. "One of his reindeer ale the list again revealing the stiff fu
that he had osada †' What's Hớng day, I decided to giva' n ]; --liguen bé a toy secretary,
starlima
ALL RIGHTS AESLAYED Saturday's Solution surprize party for my
""Won't she
be
surprised,' sald Teddy, the Stuffed Bear, when Dimple hears about her surprise party!'
"We'll tell her about it, to- morrow,* said General Tin. Sho'll certainly be surprised to find it's all over."
They had to give Dimple ber cako through the window.
had
ate so many that if she "Just then," said Mr Punch, eaten any more, che would have "there was a loud moo-ing at burst.
the window. We all looked out.
It wo
Dimple. We know It was "But, suddenly, she stopped na uso keeping the news of her eating."
surprise party from her
any
longer. We all shouted: 'Happy
Birthday, Dimple. Happy Birth-
"Why?" asked Knarf.
wasn't "Because there
any Mr Punch.
day to youl Come int Come in more to cat," said
and have some birthday cakel "All in all, it was a wonderful
Mado Her Happy
"Dkoplo was very happy to
hear about her birthday party, But she couldn't come 'in.
Sho
birthday party for Dimple even though she was the only who couldn't come to i
"And that, my dear, is the and of the story.".
And so, trus to his promise, was too big to fit in through the Knarf said good-night and want door. We had to give Dimple straight to bod,, thinking
her cakes and cookies and jellies Darling Dimple, the Cow who other could never got to 'bar own and Jams and all the | things through the window, the birthday party.