This Funny World
KIRCIL PRAT
"You never take me any place any more."
BY.
THE
WAY
by Beachcomber
E umpire who presiden at ripped away,
THE CHINA MAIL, THURSDAY, MARCH 6, 1958.
JACOBY ON BRIDGE
Hand Defies Point. Count
By OSWALD JACOBY
WEST had a hand that
Watt full of point count. Ho decided to play engy with it and merely overcalled South's open- ing inde bid with two hearts.
North bld two spades and East with plenty of nothing passed as dit South. Now West icaped to four hearts and North stayed right in the swing by going to four spades.
West doubled and opened the king of diamonds whereupon, South with a nice 11 high cord point opening opposite dummy's four point raise proceeded
ake all the tricks.
tu
There wasn't much difficulty about it. He simply led a club to dummy's ace and ruffed
club. Since both
opponents followed there WDB only one club left,
South played the ace
NORTH 49805
14
5
bring
WEST AQJ
It was the wily
Tell ringin consis must Blakmall, Shelk of Bakrasha,
be the most patient and lung who had determined to suffering man in Europe,
It is possible that he called off
Loughborough the
jamboree after 20,509 changes hid been rung in 10 hours because he could nut stand any more of It. But the official explanation was that
inne the bacon. as it were. With his trusted colleagues, Rub, Ud, and Dubdub, the three men from Alub, he made his way to the secret meeting-place of the British agents in the Horkimany! And us quarter of Tsal-Phon, dusit fell, they broke in, over- night- sleeping watchman, plans.
an argument about the powered quality of the ringing resulted in someone "making a wrong change." A ding instead of a dong after 10 hours is enough to upset anyone.
Among the artists
I
:
LOOK forward to an exhi
bition of the paintings of Ambrose Wock, Its method is
to dress in football clothes, aland on a red ladder, and squirt paint down through a hose on to a large canvas. He then roller- skates over the canvas to make a strange pattern. This pattern the picture, Wock is the
F
lender of the Opportunist School, who hold that ineptra- tlon is a mood, and that when the mood occurs one must leave the rest char e, not knowing what will be produced, and having no aire but to allow the picture to emerge without any preconceived idea or plor..
He differs from Banzen only in his technique. Banzen shoots hla paint out of a water-pistel on to black cordboard, and then Jets mice loose to run to and fro un the cardboard, "weaving strange arabesques." to quale Bolphorst,
Dagger in the Dark (11)
RY the
the wedding
party had dispersed, 17
B÷jugh secret service agents bad revealed themselves to cach other, and were all looking very stily in their useless disguises. They were chuiting away 50 cheerfully that not one of them. noilced that the only one among then who looked like a British ugen!. whom they bad all criticised for his rashness in: appearing
himscit. had
S
MAQJD75
◆ KQJ 4KQ
A1007642
EAST
A 102
K64
18 0 4 3 2
J85
SOUTH (0)
AAK743
1063
ADTO
3
No one vulnerable
West North Easi
and stole alt the
South
Prodnose; What plans?
Myself: That, I fear, 19 a top sceret,
1-4
LA Pass
Pors
ན་
Puss
Pacy
Double Pass
Pass
Pasa
CROSSWORD
13
19
121
23
Across
15
1. get-rich-quick man. (V) 10. Speak ovil of some one, (0) 11. TD-Day by sen (3) 12, B1954, (4)
13. Biblant bolae. (4)
14. Brave men. (6)
10. Befects. (0) 10. Cultivate, (4)
a. Prosecuten. (4) 30, Horse. 14
21. Mistakon. (4) 22. Pintalød. (0)
23. Dispatchod. (4)
Down
1. List of ovenia, (9)
4. Neglect to follow suit (0)
3. dropped. (t)
A.
constituted. (3-0)
4. Japanese refreshment placos,
7.
echanical
umber
picker, to)
U. Conclusióna.
10 Novaro
15!.
(4)
10. A no cost
IT. init.
18. r
the wind. (3)
YOUR BIRTHDAY
**
THURSDAY, MARCH 6
Yesterday' tulem
By STELLA
could
do
PORN today you men and women your own home and family,
may differ rather widely in the should your marriage turn out to outward expression of your basic b incompatalate, it characteristics. Hoth of you are irreparable harm dizice it would enitive, artistic and have the take you temperamentally unlit co pelse that comes with knowing your do your best creative work. Hence, own mind and sticking to your think over inarriage carefully and Love at Brit decuelanx, once they are mode. You don't wed in haste.
women are highly intuitive, artistic night is not for you. You may not after a and probably have writing talent. change your mind, own On the other hand you men are second long look. But at least you more factual and will utilize your will be tre artistic talents in a more mechanical happines
For the STERVOO
hom dvincene
KiCT
SOMEONE
or constructive faction. You woren Capricorn or Virgo, if a man; if a under this sign are dreamora; you men, the "down."
born under wonen, Cancer.
Among those born on this dain were: Michelangelo, painter and General 1. H. soulplor:
Sheridan 11.5. Ariny; Ring Lardner, authori Cook, editor: Elizabeth poci; and
Both of you are fair, honest and reliable in all your dealings with other. In business isowever, you are quite shrewd and will make a Albert S.
You are not to be Barti imposed upon in any budness deal. Halcyon Skinner, inventor. You always read the fine print in a
To And what the stars have c contract
slute for you tomorrow, select 'your
close bargain.
Browning.
Since you have a home-loving birthday star and reall the corres nature, you will be happiest. If you ponding paragraph. Let your birth- wod quite early in Efe and fave day, star be your daily guide.
►
PISCES
(Feb.
FRIDAY, MARCH 7
20-Mar-
New contacts today can
-(02
VIRGO
(Aug.
24-Sept 23)--- further Commercial affairs are'in the fore- ground today. Pertinpe you can sell home personal elect and inoney.
your career, or perhape bring a new romance into your life.
in either capel
ADJUS
Have fo
If you are thoroughly operativa with menbors of your own family. then all should work out advant ageously.
malon
LIBILA (Nept -Oct 23). You have two days of wide open opportunities, so take full advantage of them. teach your objective.
ΒΕΟΠΡΙΟ (Oct. 24-Nov.
personal - Businem and social affaire with occupational aims for the best poosible staccess,
TAURUS (Apr. 21-May 21)- Chibine social and business con- nections to bring about additional Combine modome to your job or career,
OEMINI (May 22-June 22 Jan You may maccessfully combine You can business and social alfalis today and
BAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 28)~-
beselt through, clòse es-operation with burlizern und socia| grin pleasure as well as proût sszociates. Combine interesta.
CANCER (June 22-July
M-
Be co-operative and if your ideas CAPRICORN (Deè. 28-Jan. 20)—
It
partners, then success should do in seeking a batter Job, this might be
23)-
poincide with klowe' OF
the other Pre
Kanttock employment
store for YOU
LEO Tuzy 21-10-
Artfelis effor E, FAYoUred.
You
the day that you wiil and $1.
AQUARIUS (Jan, Yeb. 19)—– kutarvete Šuka, the moly
might make fizze plica
should be able to further your Romantie
career by an appeal to she fernantne Aight today, You and your intended
Opening lead-4 K
WOMANSENSE
VARIATIONS ON THE FRENCH THEME
★
Two pictures just released from the Paris collections
for Spring and Summer
show:-
LEFT: A dress designed
u
by
GUY LAROCHE in with ultramarine blue- flounces to give it a forward
look.
and king of trumps and they broke evenly. Now he ruffed a diamond in dummy, rulfed an- othe club to establish the rest of dummy's nice seven card suit, ruffed another diamond with dummy's last rump and dia. carded his three hearts and last diamond on dummy's good clubs,
East was quite angry with West. He pointed out that West could have let the band play at two spades and that surely West did not have to double.
I must say that West received he full treatment and I am sure
have
that if he had his life to live over again ho would passed two spader. At the same time I feel that the next time West picks up 21 points he will be willing and anxious to push game once the opponents into
Live more and will probably them the some chance to make doubled. Who can blame
RIGHT: A cocktail dress
by CLAUDE RIVIERE in black and white satin is
caught at the hem by a band and the high- waisted look is achieved by
thin gathers held in by a strip of the same material.
ΠΑΡΤΟΥ
* * *
***
"The Gwendoli sms' Of Mrs. Cafritz
Like Mr Gerald Legge, her
By ANNE SHARPLEY
cacult."
On the present social need to sitting-room she is less coa- ndent. WASHINGTON could not out curso
"There, you've noticed swot up on last-minute selence: really begrudge its top out of its lavishness.
them! They really are too posl- "I think that pure selence is just hostess the pleasure it so husband Mr Morris Cofritz, is it was Mrs Catritz who was tive. I've tried washing them devastating. I missed Wernher obviously gave her to be a too quickly underestimated present at one of the rare and down with buttermilk, but now von Braun last week when He began as far between White House recep- I'm going to cover them with everybody was sitting at his feet. able to say: "I see they a nice cypher.
non-fictional while Mrs Mesta was a small builder of Washington's lons..
was Can't think how that happened. pestries," picked up my idea for an ast bowling alleys and is now diplomatically absent in New the alarming consequence of my I must have been on another
them. remarking upon sold to be worth 25 million York executive Vice-President."
Conversation with Mrs Catritz "There's lots of room for good It was undeniably true. Not dollars in handsome Washington only had Mrs Gwen Cafeita reni estate.
hostesses in Washington," says is like a switchback ride. few weeks ago
"I gel terribly interested in year is Mrs Catritz generously. announce
achlevement is that she had written to Mamie almost entirely overlooked in profer playing with my con- the strengthening of the south- Sunday Eisenhower Ruggesting Ike take
eastern Bank of the Mediter come? "Hundreds," 7 the sidelines uproar that has temporaries, of course." on more staff, but Ike responded accompanied his wife's long This remark may be you ran and swam the Bosphorus. unspecifically, ♥CARD Senden by doubling her suggestion ba
Mrs Perle Mesta sidered by some to be referring Oh, pure, everybody swims the battle with
It is the chic thing people and all their lovely and oppolating two extra Vice for top honours in the hostess to the fact that Mrs Mesta is Bosphorus.
wives." But she prefers dinner to do." Presidents.
about 20 years older,
parties of about 20 guesta. Such
Both hostesses had fucett a As American enjoy a con-
elegant like to do a beautiful perhaps ballle honours-of being teet anywhere, but most especi- tricky transition period
dinner party-just like embassy-exactly on time, with
him?
Q-The bidding has been:
W'est
1.
North East South Double Redbl. 7
You, South, hold:
AK870 65 $32 A38543
What do you do?
A-Bid one spade. You have five clubs but apades is the lop ault and you have the king.
TODAY'S QUESTION
The uldding continues with a pass by West, three spodes by North and four diamonds by East. What do you, South, do now?
Answer Tomorrow
CHESS
By LEONARD BARDEN
□】
(No. 6360)
A problem by E. M. Hassberg (Holland, 1940). White mates in tires.
London Express Service
TARGET
R A
N
GKS
E
H
How many words of four letters
or more can
you make
from, the
| letters in the 色
11
This
game.
the rewards-or
solld
"I
when
a hostess anywhere; the whisper ally on the social scene, neither the Republicans, richer an that matures into an appoint- hostess is allowed to forget the therefore less hungry, than the ment,
a little ripple after other filke political opposition the Democrats, look over, word in the right diplomate leaders, they probably muet pri- But in America you make vately for lunch but social sure everyone credits you with mythology has it they have only
met once). A ZANY GIFT
Gar.
the idea.
Mrs Cafeliz la a honey-and- emery voiced, unceremoniously
ABSENT
On
which
DIMPLES
spiritual
Mrs Cafritz'a big event of the her famous Easter
ΣΤΟΥ party,
many tho says,
clever
like to share my
an
A description of a frlend: French cuisine and lovely wines "She married on Argenthan that I choose myself." Mrs in-between, a marvellous girl present showing
wonderful
FIRST PARTY Cafritz fu winning. Her house, with
is named simply 2301 qualities and dimples." Vauxhall Road (Americans are On the theatre: "I couldn't Mrs Catritz gave her first big at their Icast romantic when possibly give up an evening for party as a bride of 19, coming to naming streets and houses), lies the theatre."
America on board ship from her like a lazy
cat potted white
On her new daughter-in-law: native Hungary. overlooking the best view of "I can talk Bottleelil to her.. She doesn't know a senator from Washington.
Mrs Mesta scored hard, plain woman in her mid- In 1849, 40%, wih A Fift for zany what wes presumed to be the
Her choice of paintings in the being appoint aphorisms, known as Gwendo- coup de Tace Lisons, She dresses from Paris, ed U.S. Minister to Luxembourg entrance hall is straight from modern collections 4 has Jewellery of herole pro and had a top-hit musical (Call the portions, is touchy about photo- Me Madam) take note of the Salvador Dall, a Miro, a Chagall, But in February 1953 About the murals in the vast graphs, and entertains with a event.
"There was one of the Van- a boxer dog, but she does know derbilts and Adolphe Menjou, you know the sort of people, sa her art."
On London: "You always find I invited them all. Thero was the people that have been there nothing to it. I found every- are most satisfactory."
thing was just fine."
BOYS' AND GIRLS'
Poetic Pixie's Problem
"IT'S
-O'Scowl Has Trouble Finishing a Poem-
By MAX TRELL
no use trying to disturb him," Pixie O'Boy said to Knart and Hanid, as the two
camie, up Shadow-Children the door of O'Cheer Hall.
to
the
O'Choor Hall was under
It was rools of the Old Oak. where the Pixics lived. They had come to pay a visit to Pixie O'Scowl. Someone had mention- ed to them that he wasn't feel- ing well,
"Oh, ho's fooling fine!" Pixie O'Boy said. "He just keeps to
his room, that's all."
he keeps to his room,"
making ench Said Hanid, "he must be feeling
word, the letters t
sach of the small squârès may be used ener only. Emol word must contain the large tetter in the peatre square, and there muar: DO ME Itart and Bac-letter word in the Lt. No prurais no foreign words 30. Proper
Names. TODAY'S TARGET: 84 words, Good: 44 words, very good; 56 words, excellent. Solution Samorium. *
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION : Gode soinar servem ÚHLOUGIVE same wené dom din dive deca dyes Burna date' long inahas
Į vond vinný vind volně told.
alck."
Writing Poetry
"Not at nil," sald Pixie O'Boy. "He's busy writing poetry in n big book."
At this moment, there was n trumping on the stairs lending up from O'Cheer Hall, To the pur- prise of Knart and Hanid, it was Pixie O'Scowl. He had a pencil stuck behind one ear and he was carrying a big thick notebook.
rock about Aftern or twenty fee! off.
Chewed On A Pencil
Knner and Hanid watched him put on a pair of spectacles and open the big notebook. He didn't Pixic write anything in it. He just "I'm chewed away at the end of his
pencil.
"I think he's in some kind of
"Hello, Pixle O'Scowl!" Knarf and Hand shouted.
"Pooh! Go away," rudely, O'Scowl said, busy."
He made his way past them trouble," said Knart to Pixie end sat himself down on a white O'Boy.'
Rupert and the Lost List-26
With a sign of the earth left far behind Rupert is now for in the upper air. All at once some- thing looking very tiny appears still higher." Well, what do you know crice the Cowboy. "There's our Daddy Christmas himack with his No. 1 team of reindeer. We've missed him."
"Oh, couldn't we stop him 7,"
*Not R Kaye Rupert amniously. hope I declares the Cowboy; **Our accond-class reinultar would never catch that pair. We met keep on. And at length' Sants Claus's great castle appeace ahead. pantly hidden in the big, awirling douda
ANG LIGHTS RAEFAVER
MAGAZINE
"We'd beiter go over and try
"
to help him," sald Hanid.
wouldn't Interfere with O'Scowl," warned Pixle O'Boy, "if I were you."
Nevertheless, Knarf and Honid went over to Pixle O'Scowl.
"Whist Whis-s-st!" he sold. "Away with you! I'm occupied!"
"Now, Pixie O'Scowl, dear," said unld, "all you're doing is chewing the end of your pencil. You're not occupied or busy at all."
Saying this, she seized him bUC- tween her thumb and forelinger. Though he kicked and squirm- cd, she wouldn't let him get away.
"What is it you're writing in that big book?" Hankt asked.
"I'm writing 'Good Rules for, Bad Children","
"But why are you chewing up your pencil?" asked Knart,
"Because," said the angry
A happy O'Scowl ran back to D'Ohser KAIL
Pixie O'Scawi's poem:
"Muat you sprinkle sugar sa Your oatmeal Looks like
hoops of snowt"
A wonderful thing happened
Pixie, "I can't finish one of my when Pixie D'Scowl heard those
words. His gloomy 'co broke poems.
Knarr and Hanld looked in the Into a smilo and-belleve it or *Thank book. This is what they read: not-he actually salt
you, thank you very much."
Hanid let Pixie O'scowl go. "Jenny, Jenny, must you cat
Your cereal so very swcol? . "Here's a good rule for you, Must you sprinklo sugar Do
Your oatmeal looks-" "No, I
finish, 1 can't grumbled Pixlo O'Scowl. "I con," said Knarf. This is how Knært finished
. Pixie O'Scowl
"It's always right
To be polite."
"Thank you," Pixle O'Soow sald, as he ran back to O'Cheer Hall with bit big notebook.
1