Page
This Funny World
Makam
"The X-rays show that your hip bone isn't connected to your thigh bone, your thigh bone isn't connected to your knee bone, your knee bone—,"
BY
THE
Q
WAY
by Beachcomber
THE CHINA MAIL, THURSDAY, JANUARY 30, 1958.
JACOBY ON BRIDGE
Defence Delay Was The Topper
By OSWALD JACODY
ONE
NE of the cardinal principles of defence is to try to work cut some pluy that will beat the contract.
Now put yourself in the place of East and look at the East
hand and the dummy only.
reached The opponents have Three no-trump after an opening club bid by North, a diamond response by South, a spade re- bid by North and a jump to two no-trump by South. Your part- of ner hos opened the deuce hearts and dimmy has played the seven. What should you do?
The answer to your problem Is that you should play the nine of hearts.
card 14 Wigh Dummy has points and you have 12, Thai and leaves only 14 for South West, and South needs most of them for his two no-trump bid. There
is only ate chance
WEST
like
TOW that Post Office forms conven,ence you in any way,
are to be more courteousty the Cuinnisstoners would worded, the idea will probably spread. I expect to receive soon Bonething like the following---
to suggest that they would re- gard it as an almost personal Javour if you could contrive to
them with a cheque. The Commissioners of Inland They hope that you and your erupliisity will not feel tuo acutely Revenue present their
hre the loss of this meagre sun, and ments, and trust that you well. Though reluctant to draw that you yourself will enjoy that your attention, at this Jestive measure a health and prosperity to the small matter which will enable you, for many mentioned below, which is your years to come, to continue your Fetterous contribution: to the Support May we take this up- you anal healthy economic state of our poilumily of wishing
prosperous country, and without wishing to yours a happy and
New Year? With apologies for bothering you,
season,
CROSSWORD
B
H
196
12
122
Астон
B.Quarey,
1 Tasty portions. (4, 5
7. Imitate, (3)
1. Ikimok szenden. (5, 4)
12. Half acre. (3)
14. Put. (3, 0)
10. Hostile. (8)
13. Rescue. (5)
10. Truth. (01
And this
THLE
Inspector
Utice apologises for calling your attention to
10
of Taxca
more yuur failure to respond to his requrat for a cheque. Without wishing t worry you unduly.
relations disturb the Iiendly existing between this office and yourself, he would like to know your if there is any chance of paging the sum due from you in the near future. The inspec- hesitate tu trouble for woul
The you again were it not for fact that the enormous sums owed by certain people make it for him to make up necessary the losses by launchilag a special good-natured appeal to such
Gxpayers as yourself. All the
21. Bashful. 131 best.
2 Up-to-date material, (5)
43. Book of the Bible, (7)
1. Sharing. (9)
Down
2. dit to future poweAtiva, (80
3. Sharp. 141
4. tiden fence, (4)
ま
142
4. It od
shrub. (N
of
bertjan
ореть. 161
11. desaing 00.
(71
19, Harness. (5)
18. Part or
circle, (3)
20. Vulgur, (3) Yesterday's pointing
Space jetsam
THE
4742 WKBS2
♦ 985 4432
to
NORTH (D)
12
AKQJU
J7
• Jo
AKQJ100
EAST +9053
SOUTH
4 A 10
Q1063
❤AB4
• A72 *A75
KQ 10 43
No ane vulnerable
North
Basi South
Pass
West Pass
Pass
2 N.T.
Part
*
14
3 N.T. Pakk Pass
Opening lead-▼ 2
كيلة
bent this hand. That chance is to find your partner with four hearts to the king-eight.
Now look at the whole hand and you see that Our partner has that exact holding. De- elarer will probably lead a club. You win your ace, lay down the ace of hearts and take your are im- of diamonds. This just is portant. Now you play your Jast heart and your partner
igathers in two heart tricks,
Your
WOMANSENSE
SYLVIA LAMOND
GREETETLENESSENYALAKSTUAL MESSULEGI REALLY BINARIE KESIZAN,
IF your house were burning down, what would
you dash to rescue from the flames before saving yourself? This is a favourite finding-out question tossed at women who put themselves in the hands of a psychiatrist.
I've never known quite what it set out to discover, since the answer would be the same from almost every
wonian.
1 HE PHONE. Not to say how
Here are three First, she would scoop up the by short-cut.
then her jewels-mlak trends I consider dangerous;--- baby; coat-SovrĽA china---or what-
USES THE TELE- ever (tucked under one arm) represented most cool cash..
Then, with seconds la spare, logical something abrolutely Romelling like a bundle of old love letters.
he feels but to fix a brisk date, when he promises he will say (You keep the how he feels. date, and when he gets to the bit about his feelings he says:
1 phone you."}
HE USES THE TAPE-
A RECORDER.
tape- firm typing
which types personal mail for people like Lord Alexander, Denis Campion, and Group Captain Cheshire reports that an Increasing num- ber of business men put their extremely personal letters on tape, sandwiched its with all the "Dear Sirs..."
Even when the house is nos burning down ... even if she doesn't give them a thought in
ikes Z Ave years... a womati to know her love letters are there-proof of past victories,
Maybe a man feels the same about a box of medals.
PERHAPS ALEN WILL UNDERSTAND WHY
GRIEY. WE HARBOUR A
AGAINST ANCE
THEM. THEY ARE NOT WRITING REAL LOVE LETTERS ANY MORE,
NOW
THE SHORT-CUT ....is dangerous
A man still needs to get his invisage over, but he's doing it
"I suppose they feel they can where dictate to a machine, they couldn't to a secretary," saki the head of the Brm, Mr
Mulville.
3
...
investigating the problem of those disappearing mon, the writers of love letters