This Funny World
Hagglund
"Little boy from the trailer camp. Says his home ran away from him."
BY
THE electronic
THE
WAY
by Beachcomber
brain which can say "gok" for words to that effect) should be tele- vized immediately.
"Now you are going to hear the brain may mgok. Now, Mir Brain we can't quite hear what you said-ah!
mgok thank you, Mr Brain, has been a pleasure to have you with us this evening."
hasn't said. "Money does not bring happiness,“ What he han said is that the reason for the divorce is that his wife is in love with him. If he can find a lady who hates the sight of him, there will probably be un eleventh inarriage. The gossip writer who gald "It doesn't make sense is living in D vanished world.
(Studio audience; ha-ha-lee- Tavern causeric hee-bee.)
Next day We
read, "And so one miris step HE gabbed has been taken by Mon towards a world of peace, justice, pro sperity, happiness, and full liv- Ing. Nature Is NOW man's slave," and so on.
Financial note
about 'er hull
freus
life, so e si did she expect im to corne tome with a ectiple of rocket lekets to the moon, first class retum, an' she said she didn't want any of 'is Filety sarcasm, all she wanted was a new saucepan-lid, an' e said if she shoved 'er 'at on the TUE announcement that the saucepan 'e wouldn't know i THE
International Monetary difference, and then er mother Fund (IMF) will, ut its next with an addlex, and they
WITA world laughed and conference, consider Aubaldy to balance the failing again." prices of overproduced conme- lities will at once affect the Import-Export Index and the whole plan for stabilired ex- change rates, except in two or three unimportant arvas where the mutualisation system is ad- rendy in operation, It looks though Basilat's prediction, made mencly a hundred year. he well- 112 prattu ugo, may
Bastint mail, in his founded. Principes Alentoires,
eral fall
"A KUT
prices In commodity will one day be reflected in corresponding restriction
output."
The snark really is
الزيار
a boojum
Mir American
being
his tenth wife,
IAM surprised
the Manville, millionaire who divorced from
TARGET
four letter
AT MUT yan you in aka
from thr
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паль worda; no proper TODAYA TARGET: A words, won, 27 words, Fery good; at words. excellent. OTATED Comorrow,
Figur, Farrar tim literale
YESTERDAY'S BULUTION Aksta miar higte alte altet alter mitur orial mezi Tate, lallay late falle interije Tatter RT
TALEN ZARE PRO), rajata rstall RETALIATE IMU fala quát 11$4 Milne FI Ter kin fræið trial.
YOUR BIRTHDAY
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER
BORN today, you have a complex personally which meting you, yourself, fa fly to ander. stand. The stars have given you a wide variety of talents and you are no adaptable by nature that you will be able to in almost any- where. Consequently, you may not reach the heights to which you are Mtitled, siner you adjust instead CRIME.
By STELLA
things. As long as you have D
your lonit-playing re good book, sends at classijali musle
beauti- fel vorroundings in which you live, you are satisfied,
Your intuitions are keen
and
you have an Interest in the super- natural. You may wish to investigate suel whenonwYLA but must make sure that you do not becving Involved cinetionally.
tou
Wed while younK. preferably You also are somewhat Jacking someone who has the aggressiveness in concentratus, and unser you FLIT voit lack. In this way you will ul- vitally interested in a project, you wayn be kept on your toey and will not it yourself too much. Recomplish a great deal. Sucermin Most things come to you rally. yours if you woric for it.
on this date. No why mruggle for the superlativez Among those born
were: Siphen Crane, auubor. Of course, if you can be Rotidien!
Hai- with a leturely กลย complacent vemato Cellini, ast; Witam 9. nctors; Hart and Wätian' Hodge, Your ownI mediocrity,
very little Laura La Plant, scireas; King needs are mall and money satisdes you, provided you, Gustavus Adotjerus TV of Sweden; are allowed to go your own pace, W. Packard, inanufacturer, But if you have others depending Wiliam M. Chase, artist, upon you, it may be necessary for you to make isore of a ght for your success.
You enjoy eultural and intellectual sponding paragraph. Let your birth- pleasures far more
than materini
Det
In
To find what the stara Bote store for you tomorrow, select your hirthday star and read the corre-
day or be your daily Äuige. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2
SCORPIO (Det. 24-Nov. 223- This is routine day for you. Don't Bo try to push things too far. salified with minor results now.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov, 23-Dec. 22)- It retail merchandising, You should in the profis running ahead of anticipations. A romani day,
"CAPRICORN (Dec. 23-Jan, 20 Catch on your letter-writi you have been What a relative nearby.
AQUARIUS
negugent
lately.
(Jan. 21-Feb. 193- There is an undercurrent et ár. Verally which calls for calm self- control on your part. Be tactful and pallent
PISCES
to
20-IXE. 20) Creative ideer kava peritive value today. Promote them and be adven- turewomen Introducing them the public.
ARIES (MAT 21-Apr. 20)~-- Fethane a stort trip to visit rela tives in a nearby town will bring about the change of pace that you need just now.
TAURUS. (Apr. 21-May 1) Make This an afternoon of pleacure od recreation so that you relax tensions and rebuild your nervous cerkiew
UJAUSINI 'Chany
22-June
21)
The can be an Important day for you. Make careful plans and ther carry them out to the letter. Act DOLLICLY."
CANCER (June 22-July
23)
You have a busy chedule Loday, zo fat, an early start the morning
THE CHINA 'MAIL, FRIDAY,” NOVEMBER 1, "1957.
JACOBY ON BRIDGE
West Shuts Out Dummy's Lead
BF OSWALD JACOBY
QIDNEY LAZARD of New Or- lean and Dr John Fisher of Dallas won both the Men's Pairs and the Open Paltant the Texan Regionals. Today's hand shows Sidney in defence.
He deckied to open a trump. It seemed most unlikely from the bidding that this lead could cost him a trick and any other I opening had clements of danger. Kasi won with the ace and promptly returned the deuce of hearta. South played the king, Sidney won with the nee and returned the jack.
,
Naturally, South Won that trick with the queen. His next play was to lay down the king of clubs. Then the six of die-
NORTH $53 ❤9652 Q10
10
4A9872
WEST
EAST
4104 VAJ
4A2
10872
#AJ754 4J042
+9932
+Q 108
SOUTH (D)
KQJB870
◆ KO K
East and West vulnerable Boath Weat North ELAL Pass Poss
Pass 1 N.T. Pass ['ass Opening lead-★ 4
monde was placed on the table and it was up to Stoney to come through with the winning play.
An unthinking player might well have ducked thất diamonti lead but not Sidney. He took a the time to count the hand. John's drove of hearts Trad, bril | shown four so that declarer was marked with three cards in that suit.
likely It seemed mostly that he helt nt least Neven spades so that left only three enris for the minor mits. The etul king had already shown uje to be could not hold more than two diamond
WOMANSENSE
VERONICA Papworth GIVES IN
NOW, at last
I can be beastly...
I've found three people whose heads I'd cheerfully bang together
And here's
my dress
of
the
week
"Page 5
But a light downs:
I have received three hearty squelches from threa shop assistants in one week. If I could line them up I'd cheer- fully bang their silly heade together.
They have been warned.
In the eblidren's depart- ment: Have you a cheap little sweel skirt for a 12-year-old?" "No." Hald the nssistant grandly. "I wouldn't care to use the word 'cheup. We may have something inexpensive.”
141'
In the model suit department: The ent's fine and so is the weed, but, I'm sorry, it fastens too low. Set's open almost to the waist. I want a winter sult to cover my chest," "I'm afraid." said the "ven- Heule"-looking anything but atrald-"that this is
a suit to wear with furat
.0
In on underwear (sorry, lingerie") department: "Have
you a narrow slip with slits at the side?" IF you want to incceed as a The celebrities I do I know I
Great drawers-full of frilled columnist (ha, ha-who like enormously--and ΠΟ one and lounged petticonta. werd calle: the gel a
wants to read that P'd go a long heaped before me. columnist?) these daya it seems you've got way to avoid old Charlle Stair- "Narrow. with slits." 10 be beastly to somebody, case since he gave me thuit quick repeated "what do trou sell to. You've got to make lists of the ttle nip on the hips when he
Ko under the Sack?" Ten Most Hideous Women you helped me inlo my coat Tast know or the Five Men you'd Tuesday fortnight. cross the road to avold passing The time of day with,
You've got to be FEARED. Now I guess I'd be no good as the next person at naming names-bul my Trouble can't seen to meet the right people.
BOYS' AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE
Skipper Knarf Sets Sail
-Mr. Merlin Makes His Wish Come True-
By MAX TRELL
IT WES Shadow
and there she was in h ifbing suit.
"Of course, I am,” sold Hanid, "I always do."
sunny day. "Now don't tell me," said M KIAT and
The Merlin, Hank,
**11280 you're going Children with the swimming in that!" turned-about names, said that the thing to do on a day like that was to go down tà pood,
"We'll
swimming." said Hauid.
the
"And I'll all my bout," saki Kouri.
A few minutes later. Knart and Hard were in their way to
"Very foolish of you." said "Just watch me. Mr Merkin, You'll see how much better my outfit is thou yours!"
With that he stepped off the bank of the pond. Knarf and Hanid watched him with aston- ishment. Instead of girding to the water, he and on it just like If he held exactly two dia- the pond. monds and the other one
duckl Wan
"Look at him! He's padding!" the king it wit neccry lo
cried Hanid, alay the nice to block him out of hung. Sidney die play the ace and eventually declarer had to lose his six of hearts down ne Arlek.
and o
asked Sidney what he would have on if South had played the king instead of a low dła mand He replies tint he had muide up his mind to play de- elaver for seven spades, three hearts, two diamonds and a club and therefore would have let the king of diamonds hold und shut declarer out of tummy
that way.
CARD Sensens
Q-The bidding has been: East South Wout North 1+ 14
1 N.T. Pass Pass
Your side has a 60 part score and you, South, hold; AK3987 WAQ87 432 4A4
What do you do?
A Pas. One no-trazací should be a very satisfactory contract.
TODAY'S QUESTION
The bidding continues with two diamonds by West, twa spades by North and three dia- monds by East. What do you, South, do?
Answer Tomorrow
CROSSWORD
13.
Σπά
VIRGO (Aug. 24-Bepl 23) Don't permit hypertension to Cermini yoxir, braltis. Gei nome bext and relaxation to relüüd your
Erengti,
LIBRA (Sept. 24-Oc£23)- There lo romance for you If you are making 1. Even if you're not, it may come to you without asking for 11
CHESS
By LEONARD BARDEN
A
so that you can accomplish.overy-
From the New ·York 1950- 2) tournament: how 24-AUE
did White (July Compeitive, aporta
Lo move) Win YouAffand foul by appeal to Bisguter.
guno this immediately ? MOOD? Or pomibly playing on
London Expreso Karptee the Leist
Actual
Con caro jonag,), (0) d. Colt warning. (4)
FOOLDA:187% (O
V. Harry Pogo] [šnag.). (9),
19. Lengthontertainers,
11.
13. Personification, (4)
14. Eastern robo, (4)
10. Sweetheart. (4)
18. Derman river. (3)
20 Mistal worker. (4)
(*)
91. Geometrical shape. tớ
Typing placa.. (4-5) -
Down
1. Stoo chios (usom;). (9)
Quelle. (
3. Goddṛas of plenty. (5)
4. Bumbay distancos. 133
5. Buna 100
„providers, (9))
6. Gratis
(4)
8. Mrs. Hopp ONANI
13. terra tand.
[(5)
rola
* time, (9) 17, 1
10, 110 m a de
for a pie. (8i
Noting a figure walking ahead of them, they were surprised to reengalse their friend Mr The Magnificent Merlin,
Magician.
Strange Fashion
He was dressed in a strange fashion, strange even for g magnificent magician,
On his head, he wore a cup with white feathers. He wore à, while enal, speckied with pink, his pants were pale yellow. But what was strangest of all were his shoes. They were bright yellow and were so wide and ro at that they made fiippely floppy noises us he walked along.
In fact,
Khar and Hanid suddenly noticed, Mr, Merlin didn't seem to be walking at all, but wording.
"Me Merlin looks like ล goose," sald' Hanid.
Just there they caught up with Me Merlin, who took off his feathered cup and greeted them pleasantly.
"Going for a swim, my dears?" he asked,
Honid said she was going for a swim and Knarf was going to all his boat. Knart was carry- sailboat under his Ing a sma}! arni.
Handsome Yacht
"Very handsome yacht you have there," said Mr Merlin, Inoking at it.
Under The Water
Under the water, Mr Merlin's feet moved up and down). Knarf and Hand understood the use of the big yellow floppy shoes. They were like a duck's webbed feel.
"Well," he valled back fas IIanir. "How the water to would you like to try my shoes
while?" for
"Oh! May 17" asked Hanid. Mr Merlin, the Magnificent Magician, come out of the water and gave Hould his big yellow Hoppy swimming slides That were like the webbed feel of a duck.
While she was on dry land. the duck feet felt terribly un- comfortable and clumsy, But the Instant she stepped Into the water, they seemed to change, They fell like beautiful light paddles. She sat on the water and went sweeping along simply by moving her feel up and down as though she were on a bicycle.
Getting Roady To Sail
Meanwhile Charf was getting ready to sall his little boat.
"I stiu wish it could be a real boat so that I could salf on R sald Knart, "Shut your eyes for a second," said Mr Merlin.
It was impossible to say what "I wish it were bigger," said Mr Merlin did in that second Knart. "Then I could sail bi Kihat Kurt shut his eyes, but niyself."
when he opened them again the
"We'll see what we can do little spilboat had grown into a about that," sald MMerlin, big sallboat-and Mr Merlin "But let's get to the pond. The was lying on the deck sunning sun is bright and warm. It's a himself. wanderful duy for water sports."
"Come along, Skipper Kvarf," he said. "Sall me pround the "You're wearing very funny pond!" elalbes," Hanid old to Mir So while Knarf sailed Mr. Merlin es they all continated Merlin around the pond, and
toward the pond.
Mr Merlin chuckled. "I'm wearing my swimming out," he said.
"You mean," said Hanid In surprise, "you're going to wear thaif"
"Certainty," sald My Merlin. As stoh us they reached the pond, Hanid took off her dress
went paddling alongside with her magical duck feci.
"We had a wonderful time," Knarf told his friends Mr Punch and Teddy, The Stuffed Bear, later that day. "I sulled in my boat and Hand paddied like a duck."
"Uh-huh," sald Teddy. 3300 really didn't believe i
Rupert and Rüsty-16
When the cat reaches the loDA hear; noises some way off, the grass she stande on her hind laga yapping of ■ dog and a man'a Trying to ses over the top. Greatly gruff, freiful voice, and then puzzled, Rupert and Rusly silently milence. After a moinent the boy mova up beside her, There's leads the way forward and the something happening.er she other follow. They reach art wouldn't" bakāva like that." open space and paza around, but whispers Rusty, Suddenly they them, is now nobody to be sceni. "ALL" MOUTH ASIENVID
Koart was getting ready to sail his boat.
"I wouldn't know," sald the assistant snify, "our type of No ones cares-least of all old customer is definitely NOT sack- Charlie.
minded."
CHATHAM
CULTURED
EMERALDS
FALCONER'S
ALEXANDRA HOUSE
Chater Road Hong Kong
Established 1855
Tel:22143
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