This Funny World

PRE-FAB HOMES

PON TODIN

"Could you put up the bathroom first?”

BY

THE

WAY

by Beachcomber

TARINE insurance

MARINE

and affreightment convey- ancers are perplexed by a 11

Jnding whlet mentions 180,801 Gascoyne bag-folds.

of

where there bre

gents hil a house

plenty of iron barg to be bent. Fading that, she might four our prisons, making a mockery of The prrcautions against escape, and delighting the inmates with her dental prowess, flat perhap the boust misleading. It may be a thy from bar which she bites Intò, not a whacking grad girder or an enormous slangh- she could ta P. Anyhow meney from toothpaste firms, by using their products. Under a photograph of her denting un irum eflet you would 1 cad. "Gals Who Bend from With Their Teeth Swear By Denth- line."

Barratry is suspected, but the position is compleated by u pler of the charter-party Lov demumage. the goods being neither hveainek tior the

at - cargo. The indorses nambuco inske a counter-claim for possessory len on behalf of the cuntlguces--t this Mallet Bag-Fold Enterprises. The shipper, Having pinitted from the contract the clause re- lative primage and average, has hinted at brokerage PC- ceipt which cannot be found, 11 will be Interesting to see whint will happen next.

Merrie Yneglonde

MANY

Scotx

company

Tail-piece

Thieves broke Info the kitchens, atole some meal, and threw soup out of the window,

(News item).

TARGET

TE

A

T

A E

R

IBANY

Horde of

director, engineer, or in Tou many ervolia spoil the broth. chustrial magnate must have had a shock when he saw the Scots. described #s "This terrifying, trouserless race." But it is only the British tourist trade's kleit of attracting Americans to Scol- land. I hope next year's ar- rangements will include kilted chlettabs with bagpipes. por- ridge and hinggis at every beauty spot,

the An for England, Americans will find rosy-fneed old shepherds in Emocks, sitting with Tudor ale-benches quart tankards of nucht ale, and singing. "Jom to the Maypole,** while the stout and kindly "Ar landlord grins, and says, ur be war er wur ur be." Mile. Dent de Fer

Un

STRONG woman who "can

bend an tron bar with her teeth," seems to be a useful girl to have about the house, especi-

four letters or more cart you maks from the Letters in Lhr square o the fert in making each word letters E each of thr -mail squares, may be used once wuly. Each word must contain the larke Tetter in the entre are, and there must be at fruxt ole alne-letter word in tite at No nturais: no foreign wordeno TODAY'S

29 words. Good 3 words, rets good: 43 murdi, ezeelten? Solution INDITOS.

T. Pepper names.

Ar

TESTERDAY'S SOLUTION 1 attNTION were pari pate patter dear pa ut permante meet peste cap rupe TRUT Fan POS terms tamper tape now Lanter TEMPERATE Hnct Tramp tres,

YOUR BIRTHDAY

BORN 14day.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31

BY STELLA

have more than une opportunity to wed. Make your Election catu fully. You women are fine home- makers and, since you enjoy being surrounded by beauty, you will s

you are a person who has exceptional capabilities but who seeing to lack the verge and push which puts you an in front in the eyea of the world You have a real touch of gent: but to is that your house beautifully Are not inclined to develop

it as decorated and your belongings

you abouki, You need a gros dent in the best of taste.

for

er ficiom

sre

of encouragement, hurts you end puts you let 1E7- You are capable of being a social pressed mood. And whim depirsord, loader, since you are ademt in mak- and icon- you find difficult 14 đú your in your guests happy

inated. Ford of children, you wil best work.

make an Excellent, understanding parent.

You have a highly critirat serve but are apt to and fauk with others rather than turn your eye inward. Rememeber the old saying that diral one should cast out the mote In own eye! You women must

becoming guard against

fault. inders. Put your critical senses tu work for you in a positive fashion and make constructive maggestions. Build rather than tear down

There is sweetness, and gentleness in your nature, and out by Joved by aŭü your acquaintances. Magnetic and Appealing to them- bers of the opposite m you will

thits dete Phillips,

bom on Ainong things David

Grasure were: Autior ond reformer: Riley Cooper, noled trial

King, petari and author Charles Mary E. Wins Freeman and Julia Peterkin

Theodore D. author:

Ne- educator and Mary

Coy, singer.

To and what the stars have in store for you tomorrow, select your birthday star, and read the

Get

Mponding paragraph birthday eta be your daily gulde.

21-Sept,

·JACOBY

ON BRIDGE

Bidding Skill Nets Big Slam

By OSWALD JACOBY

TODAY'S hand produces 12 tricks at either hearts or no-trump. Five in hearts, five In diamonds and the two black

With diamonds as trump it produces the grand slam since there is no problem to ruff a club with the short trump hand,

When it was played in the Cotton States tournament In Memphis practically every pair played the hand' in hearts

0%

trump. A couple worked their way up to seven hearts and one pale, actually stopped short of the stam.

WOMANSENSE

What Makes Your Husband Really Mad?

a

by EILEEN ASCROFT

HAT feminine irrita- habits that get husbands really the face cream my wife uses at

tions really get under husband's skin?

Mr William Patrick Finn spotlighted in court the other day the small pin- pricks which are often more annoying than major Elizabeth Hamilton and Mij-grievances, He listed not dree Snow of Jasper, Ala., were washing-up as Boon ng a the only pale to gel to the dia- meal is finished, washing 12 of his 18 shirts all at once, thus cutting down

his choice, and wearing hair curiers.

WEST A KQ 10

+1061

NORTH ◆ (1

KQJ653

J 10 B AKQ94 A72

0

mad.

My own Kavourite man was very ready with la Hist. It Inchira interrupting hia com- ments on the morning news papers, drying the dog in his bath towel, not unpacking the laundry the day it comes back.

Try it on your own husband. You may be astounder, even hurt, at the list of his secret groures, but at least they are better out in the open and you can make good resolutions for the future.

EAST AJB752

9053 2

SU

D

The

case of Mr Fin

WIS! have a happy ending this wiek,

I ensuite ne famous hus when he parkes his bags and

compile moves back to The family bands to help me

often

worst female Homestead. But

Hot

uf

The

1094 SOUTH (D)

A 93

Well North East

AKQ74

J753

JU

Bukh valnerable

Nouth

1 ♥

台魄

24

Pass

1Puss 34 l'ass

3 +

4. 7

PASA ♥ Past Pass 痛 Pass

PASK Pass l'ass Opouing lead-odo lit

af

I mond grand slam and their ex-

cellent bidding is worthy study.

South's Orat problem WER with her rebla. She didn't want to jump in diamonds since that would take her past three no- Titing so she made the unusual lid for two spades. Now North shower her club nee y a d of three clubs (the sult bid by Har opponent);

South bll three diamonds only. The partnership was on The way to a slam and there was no hurry, North's three heart bid and South's four dia- mand bid were also no hurry bids,

Now North made a brilliant and unusual bid. North jumped to six clubs. This Uld not only confrmed the fact that North held the club nee but also sug- Rested the possibility of a grand slam and put it up to South to choose the sult for the final con- treet.

South was equal to the occa- sion. She decided that her part ner had to hold almost the ĺden- tead hand she did and that the only grund slam would be in diamonds. She bld it and that was all.

marriage goes on for years, irritations. without realisation ever dawn. ALAN KING, comedians in ing of the kind of aggravating the Jaxly Garlind show: "All

night. I keep silding out of bod. Always wanting me.to take the children for a walk why can't they do their own walking? She has a tidying. up manin. If I got up in the night to answer the phone, 1 find my bet made when I get back."

JOHN HUNT, concert pianist: "Long red anger-nails come first. Then Hipstick traces on cups. But one of botulitora faults la petty unpunctuality."

DONALD BAVERSTOCK B.B.C. television producer and newly married: "l'can't stand married starlets who talk about their 'cators' as though every- one is interested."

TONY HANCOCK, television

radio star: and

"There's only one thing 1 can't stand about crooked

women, evth wires,

locking seams,"

BOYS' AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE

Easy Day For Blinkie

-Digging Was Just All In The Day's Work-

By MAX TRELL

sun, had just but and tur: whole garden was batlled in 2 pale

golden light. At that inoment, Blinkle Mole opened the door to the roof of his house (it was just on the level of the ground) and stepped out. to get breath of fresh air,

Wore Dark Glasses

Blinkie didn't like the bright light of day. He preferred the twilight. Sunlight made his eyes smart. Even now, he wore a pair of dark green glasses.

"Ho-hum," he said, as he sol himself down on a log and li his pipe. "I wish I had some one to inlk to."

Hardly had these words left hig mouth when Knarf, the about name, came along. Shadow Boy with the furned-

"Hello, Blinkie," sald Kaart.

"Howdy, my boy," sald Blinkle. "I'm glad you come along. Sit yourself down, Let's

VCARD Sense have a talk"

QThe bidding has been: East South Went North 14 14

Pass PRES

Pars Poss Double

Pars 3+

2▼

* Pass

Para

Your side has a 60 part score and you, South, hold: AKJ987 WAQ87 +32 MAI

What do you do?

A-Pats. You should have East and West on the toasting fork.

TODAY'S QUESTION You have the same hand and the same 00 part score. After your spade overeall West has passed and your partner has bid ono no-trump. East passes. What do you, South, da?

Anner Tomorrow

CROSSWORD

B 4 15 8

your

10

તા

031

14

15

23)--

17

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 1

SCORPIO

24-Nov. 23) VIGO (AUR Make this last day of your work Tort and patience with all those week a highly productive mc. who are within your orbit of opera-

and Combice nocial,

1lons of the, vilmont insporlatice. Tomantle

LIONA

(Nov. 23-Dec-

E1

(Sept. 24-Oct

23)--

fo 125

22

2)

245

24

If there is important shopping for You should be able to find excellent stipples to be done, nake suze bargains if you do a little tipplug you find good bargains. Follow the around. Fist it migplies you neeil. newspaper advertising.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 23.Jan. 20)-

Outdoor morts may beckon to you. Join friends in congenial activities and enjoy youruli.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 21-Feb, 19)-

Buelhom and money matters stow

defalte upturn, so take advant ags of a newly opened door.

PISCEA

20-Mar. (Feb. Sporem and Kood fortuna hre yours at the beginning of a new month. Get an early zlart this morning.

wמון can

20

be

CHESS

By LEONARD BARDEN

The following game from Germany is most unusual in the amusing way {c} which Black forced to

İs

choose between toss of his queen or

ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 20)- Your intulilors Gre exceptionally keen and today you should make full use of this special talent.

mate White: Beyb Black: Wielk. 1 F-KI; P=QB4; 2 Kt-- 21-May TAURUS CAPT.

21)

KBJ, P-QR3; 3 P-Q4, PXP: 4 Friendship tray kienly turn into

equitatip) "Activate a long-delayed hxP. FI EKL C03 K ban Plan Your hopes

KAJ: 0 8-KK15, KKL-Q27; L realised.

B-Q3 P-R3: 9 B-RI P GEMINI (Atay.

KKU: 0 Kt-Q2. P-KKM47; 10 Artidie efforia are favoured. Dev K-KO. Q-Rich cia lop A sroctive ises; see that it lo

PX,XL: 11- Q -R5 mate); 11 P introduced to the pubtle to win

RH. Q-83: 12 K-B7. matė. Favour

CANCER

27-J11Ty (June

23)-

·Suintion No. 5291: 18-85, Combine social, 'home, businme or odlice Interasis for the best pont- Px Och; 2 P-K7, & com

Today, blake a rapid | plete-hluck," in ichich males ble results

are available in reply to any advance.

LEO (July * Bi-Aug.

Black more

the initial position

banden kapress, žarátmi

An Employment mailers improve and

you will fod partnershi Mistry new bigtity Invoiced.

-businers

1. Yes to tim. (ailed J

Асто

8. Expensive, (4)

9. Talking polùt. (8)

11. Water carrier, 19

13. Moura. (3)

11. Way in church, (8)

18 Rural Rotten Bow. (4)

IN

A dimeuity if you are in 16, -(8).

28. High thought.

20. Poet of Italy. 5)

33. Jacob's

Win,

(0)

24 Modern fabric. (8)

5. Could describe an adusimai, (4)

20. Necessity. (4)

1 Down 1. stars of 18 Atos, (4))

Street for Binaintea Traveller.

zel

H. Makes a mlalake, (4)

Wrap la legni posonsION? (0) 5. Book, (5) "b, imitate. {3}

T. 0.1. pencil (anaz.1, (9)

10. Light up.

( 12h (leegy time'

duck

(5)

14. Helpers. [5]

is. Ponsaineг.

10. 27o renback

10. tirer. (4)

21. Bater 22, MTZ BOTAN

181

Knarf made himself as com- fortable as he could on the log next to Blinkie. Then Blinkle said:

"I suppose you've done a good day's work today, have you?”

He Worked Hard

"But you must have done something." said Knauf. "You're wearing your overalls. There's mud on them."

"I did a bit of digging." said Blinkie.

what

were you digging?" asked Knari.

Went Visiting

Blinkle had to dig his way under the wall.

"Well," said Blinkie, "it's u funny thing, I got up early this morning. I had breakfast Lefore you did. Then I decided to gy visiung, I have a cousin nomed Squinty who lives on the other his old pipe while Knarf sit side of the stone wall at the end next to him on the log. of the garden."

"That's only a few feet from where you live," sold Knarf.

Blinkle nodded.

"That's right. So I put on my overalls and got out my shovel and pickaxe and started for Cousin Squinty's place on the other side of the stone woll,"

Kaart looked at Blinkle,

"Why did you have to take along a shovel and pickaxe?"

"The only way I could get to Cousin Squinty's place," sald Blinkle.

"I had to dig my way there."

"But, Blinkie," said Knarf, "you could have walked there in two minutes. All you had to do was to climb over the wall!"

Blinke Mole slinok his head sadly,

to

"That's all very well for you say, my boy. You could Cousin Squinty's have got to place by Just climbing over the wall, but I had to dig

"Well," said Knarf, "I suppose I did work pretty hard today.

"I ate my breakfast, Then I put on my skates and skated all around the block. Then I had my lunch. Then, I look my: blcycle and rode all around the the wall. I didn't dare show block. Then I washed my myself above ground.

hands and washed my face and combed my hair and now I'm

just about ready to have my dinner!"

"Yes,"

sald

Bilskie, after

Hurts His Eyes

under

"For one thing, the sun hurts

house

taking a puff or two in silence, my eyes. For another thing, the on his pipe, "I suppose you did dog who lives in the have a pretty hard day's work, would have seen me."

I'd never, be able to skate. around the block. As for tid ing a bicycle around the block, I wouldn't be able to do that no matter how hard I. tried."

Knart smiled.

"It's easy," he said, "But what dld

da, today, you

Bunkle?"

*Nothi Blinkic.

easily.

very much." sald took It pretty

"Poor Bllokie," said Khart. "What a lot of hard work you had to do just to visit your other cousin who lives on the side of the wall only a few feel "way."

"Oh, I don't really mind," sald Blinkie. "I'm used to digging. There isn't a mole in the world who isn't."

And he sat in the pale golden sunlight, puffing conlentedly at

Rupert and Rusty—15

Before the two friends can mart the game a wall black and white object darts put them at great speed. Hello, that's our "ce. What's the matter, with fer ♪** say Funty. She always likes to, go heating with Blacków, one little But where is Blackle.**

**** ALL RIGHTS

"Ha'a certainly not chasing her,

** And," abe'a murmura Rupert, behaving rather oddly. Look at her now." Foë the cat has dodged round-a, taws and is standing ma and team, staring, hack in the direction: from which she came. ¡Thas she' crespa forward. KUŞKAVER ....

SITUATIONS EVERY WOMAN

FEARS SO MUCH...

HUSBANDLY LOOKS AND WHAT THEY MEAN

**YOUR SHOULDER STRAT IR SHOWING

CHOOSE THE

*MIND THAT CAN

WATCH THE LIGHTI

THING ON THE HEAR

** HOW BOON GAN

WE LEAVE.”

GHRISTENING GIFTS

IN SILVER

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Established 1855

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