|
This Funny World
CAUALLI
"Stop pushing me to the rear of the busi I'm the driver!"
BY
Todis
THE
14
WAY
by Beachcomber
LD folk-customs die hard. nimechi they di red night- from a the village of rigs, and drink whey
huge tub handed to them by a The old mail girl on stilts. wornce then pelt them with treg. bark, trying "Nonzer? Nomzer!" - a corruption of the French, "Non, In the evening unice menskeur." are chased through a hole made in the wall of the Manor fivuse. Awkward balderdash
Wildercote the Konby men assemble outside the tithe barn wearing kag white nightshirts uzul green masks to dance the wherry-dence through the lage.
Each dancer centes a Tip in his left hand, rad as they dance they
"A Cry
andle! they chl the seiga [ Edward! 11. When the dancers rench the ingle-stone (said to be a Druitt
A gender"
CROSSWORD
12
12
23
Acros
2. Mized role in the table. (V) 8. Girl as he upward way Y 4T 11. For pistol packers, sometimes
hot. (3) 13. f
Your car straight
•
19. the gives it a swint. (1, 4)
14. These places get you well again.
บ
14. Canning for somelody, 107 18. in up. (3)
21. P. 151
22. Put on a martirti eserie, ch. 1, 1 23. Something before the maiters
Argic (7)
being
23. The last day, in short. (5)
Down
1. Brave weapons, {I
2 among the burek, 13)
3. Love's Jaltsglitný rafver
Prepared state. (5)
Robber. (7
6. Ita around. 13
اطرات
They're knockra og at school.
9. Order to
10.
Diester. (4, 2)
Englishmas
is well. (4)
14. Apology in
Windor
rye neid. (61 07. Wen Lain-
ster by-pro- duct (3)
19. It's a
thought, (4) 20. Step around annoy- auce. (4)
Yesterday's nation
TYPISTS mote on tele- plicere
has etaversation thrown the Ministry of Bubble- Svane- blowing into a frenzy. body
The Ligening rzog Lip Departinet with a query about the Import of six-inch alls. In the transcript of the conversștica the word "nails" appeared us "mates" Sir Mortimer Hoof
up Sucl end rang
shouted: "Where
do these dwarfs sme from "What dwarfs?" asked Suet. "Male dwarfs six inches high," saia Sir Mortimer, "There must be sume mistake," sald Suet.
"I've never heard of them." Mr Grant then suggested that "nches" should red "fest,"
that the males were not wats. Sut n. Tinal human being. The typist reid she was sure it was six inches. Mr Cole said: "Might it be a misprint for [mates," "We don't import moter,” snappert Sir Alettans "or awarly."
Trade secret
MAN
who was
constantly
A photographed drinking Keniack, the New Sparkling British Napoleon Brendy, has laid down some excellent wines. Every time Snibbo Ltd. presents kim with twelve cizes of Konack he salls them to u Rum of chemists and buys wne with the proceeds.
You never know.
AS
S the National Milk Publicity Cancil would rather have the Natiorul Ixy Queen chusco by a bollet-dancer than by politician, the Thames Conservancy Board would prob- ably prefer a taxidermist to a favelin-thrower when
comes
to choosing the Thames Con- servancy Queen. Especially as it a numismatist who chose Mimsio Slepcoines last year, os Miss Blast Furnace.
was
YOUR BIRTHDAY.
By STELLA
animals and seen to know how to train them. They trust you and you will be able to tame thuse which are wild,
FRIDAY, AUGUST 16 have a well- PORN today, you
controlled personally which is finely balanced between the shrewd ty, practical maxi thu ritistic, As a rule, you are quiet and reserved have the capacity to make o host ot loyal friends. You are methodical,
You have folly, pleasant, laughi ing nature, and "It makes you a favourite wherever you go. You
accurate and know how to take eroave a line sense of justice and like
of detail. You have a lot of physical to help people who are less lortuzinte
and nervous energy but know how
to put it to come cunctive uns.
sh yourself. But unlike many
who look for something in return.
In youth, you itiribiedly wil) o 3111 will indulge in your philan
keen on athletics gyvi all kinds of competitive sports. You will probably expo.
There is a touch of genius in your makeup, but it may take a little longer to develop with you that with othe You may try reveral Things bekry you over the one thing for which you are best suited. Then you will concentrate all your #ferta on this case area of expression End
outstanding. becorne
Once muccess is achieved, it could. senzational and probably www.out. live your own lifetime.
be
Despite all 11 desire for activity and work, you are basically a person who loves the entry and all the great down. You are fesul of
SATURDAY,
23).
theoples without any thought of enjensation. You must be especial. ly cautious when it comes to select- ing a metriage partner, for much of your future welfare and hapÐÁVOSS depends upon your choler,
Among these both on Vils date O'Neil were Eugene
playwright: Antoine Lavoisier. chenlit Tand scientist; Lucien Atletid, actor: AJONZIJ A. Stagg. noted coach: Alexander Powell, author: John Prindle, Scoll, compras: Mac Cirk. actres; and John force, scientist.
To find what the stars have i store for you tomarow, select your birtliday afor and read the correspon- dez pirataph. Let your birthday ster be your dally guide. AUGUST 17
LEO (July 24 Aug
AQUARIUS (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)— A fine day for alt bunnens and Partians you can combing a week-end cocupational matters. Put your best trip with some social activity. scot forward and advanes toward Attend BR VU!-of-10wn weddkig your goal.
perhaps?
VIRGO (Aug. 14-Sept. 23) PISCES (Pob. 20-Mar. 20)- Your unial Saturday programme is Active sports may be on your day's favoured, but remember that there is programine DI activities, Bulid up interesting health reserve by fresh air end sun-
Д
Obility
of 11
shine. LIBILA (Sept 24-Det. 23)-- ARIEB (fur. 21-Apr. 20) Personal infernals are highly favour. It may be that you will want to get
find shed now, I od today. If on vacation, have
one special Jobs" ecule piwo more pleasurable than recreation.
an
especially good time with one you Jove.
THE CHINA MAIL, FRIDAY, AUGUST 16, 1957...
JACOBY
ON BRIDGE
Game Makes Eitherl Way
By OSWALD JACOBY
ODAY'S band was taken
WOMANSENSE
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MODERN The Effect
London.
TS contemporary furniture becoming too fashion-
from the recent Long Island championships. Roger Wells of Bayside sliting South bld and made four hearts for a North- South top score. At the next table Jock Colman of New York City lting West mado fiveable? From the signs I'vo clubs doubled for an East-West | acon in London's shops top score.
Lately, it is. Each week somebody thinks up some- thing now and all the others copy it, so that most things quickly become old- fashioned. If the designers they're carry on the way heading, we shall have to change our furniture styles as often as our clothes if we want to keep up with the
The hidding was the same as yesterday's up to the point when South bid four henits, Jack decided to double this contract and I can't blame him. His partner took the double out to five clubs and I can't blame him either. It looked as if his hand would be a hindrance to the de-
WEST' AK4 ♥Q65
NORTH AAJOJ ❤AK 108 1 +963 4 143
26
EAST (D)
Q1075
None 'A 10
+3974 KQJ704 A98532
SOUTH
4082
J9732
• K852
A
Both vulnerable East South West Pass Pass 14
Phase 4 V
North Double 3 Deoble Pass 15 Double 'use Pass
Pass
Opening lead--♥ K
ruce,
KB
a
Take for example Jittle black chair: An Italian de- signer produced
elegant spindle logged black dining chair which sold in Lati don at around £8. Since then the tile black chair has turned
In up aguin
many versions, most of them copies of The Italian one, and it looks os though before long almost every fashionable dining room sport a set of them,
DILEMMA
will
But the trouble is that every one's goin to get terribly tired of them before the year is out and, at around £50 a set, you can't afford to
them away.
throw
FURNITURE?
or
This gay, contemporary room shows just one way how unit furniture can transform a bed-
sitter into a bright, comfortable Bat
How
expamive I wish someone would but far too
Some enough decoration to avoid that look, are Taled font design good simple, cheap furni- friends of mine, the owners of clinical
a weekend house or a large and lethat family bought, the four un metal legs to give ture for
You have to chouse out of desperation, a whitewood an illusion of spaciousness. cottage!
table" for just over between paying high prices for "galerer's genuine antiques, buying £3. With stainot top and treated choup reproduction furniture with a good wood sealer, it now
Newest and craziest devico I think the designers are being which tools as though it has looks like an expensive piece of
✡ miniature portable fence and he knew that five just a little too clever, if they're been painted over white black furniture. To go with it, they yel:
kitchen vacuum cleaner you can use to clubs goald not be huri,
bought some ordinary treacle. going to turn out smart use
It removes and-throw-away pieces, they
Simple Windsor
chairs and chairs and painted each one a tidy up your dog. should bring their prices down. tables in light ank are pleasant, ed child knew where to sit. The with those
colour as that dust from your clothed, copes bright, primary
difficult comers in ** torch result is a cottage dining room upholstery, works on that in bright and gay-and cost battery. them under £10.
If North had led a diamond.
would Jack
have gone down autonalically, but no one can possibly blame North for leading the king of hearts.
Jack ruffed in dummy and #eted immediately that he had to do something about his losing diamond and do It quickly.
He led a low spade from dum my and went up with the king, North won with the ace and led a diamond but the boat had left without him.
Jack won with his ace, led his remaining spude and finessed dummy's ten. This play risked a two-trick set in case South had the spade jack but there is no! much difference between minus 200 in minus 500 and match point duplicate and there is a lot of difference between
minus 200 and plus 750.
The len of spades held and Jack discarded his losing die- mond on the queen and made his contract.
North
CARD Seridens
Q-The bidding has been:
East
South Pass ZA Pass
West l'ass
? You, South, hold: ANK765 32 $381 4765
What do you do?
A-Bild four diamonds. Your partner has rebid his diamonds and your three trumps to the Jack are adequate support.
TODAY'S QUESTION
Your partner continues by bid. ding five clubs. What do you de now?
Answer Tomorrow
CHESS
BY LEONARD BARDEN
NS
饼
"[N«, A2IN] From actual play: Black to move and win.
London Express Service
TARGET
RA
1
C
P
T L
A
How many
ki words of
Four Fetters
or more rat
you make
from
the
Letters in the aquare nä the left 7 in
nauing each word, the letters in each of the Mall getares may be used oare Cully. Each word must enklain the large tetter in the centre SCORPIO (Oct. za-Nov. 12)- TAURUS (Apr. 11-May 21)— sudden, and there must be at
or shopping Some worthwitte accomplishment Finish
feaut plurals er may busincha
nine-letter word to the
tareix tzat. be mare today. Portpene the morning hours to that mould. during you may enjoys a caretrea
atu. social recreation until the job is hushed. words in prope
10 words, evening.
GEMINI EMILY 22-Juno
TODAY'A TARGET ? ZIJ-
good 26 words, very good 2 BAGITTARIUSï (Nov. 23-Dec, 22)-- After completing your weekly shớp
Butullou excellent. relaxi
the pin fu muling-in
words, necessities. Dlan Borile
tumorrow. country or at the beach if at #1! Felaxing activity for the afternoon possible. Duild up your hendiis · and evening,
YROYERDAY'S SOLUTION 1. Belarm periential.
CANCER (June 12-July
DEFORMITY dili dite dillum dolly peti 23)- CAPRICORN (100, D-Jun. 20)- niendly sepoliations for ROTVO Leiswatimus acživítim can bring you property you, would like to own may 1 you ponie to à climax today, so the ready considerable płosure now. haven't one, find a hobby
to ach
Ple
DIOR DANCING SHOES
Evening pumps In Christian Dlor's autumn-winter col- lootlon have pointed toes and spindle heels, Shown above on the left is one example in pink sallit; it is decorated with a note at the artă. On the right fa an original black kat pump featuring stauss bustom-Agence France-Presse.
BOYS'
CURTAIN FABRICS
Of Drugs On
The Driver
New York,
LS as well as alcohol
PILLS
mako unsafe drivers out of otherwise reliables ones, an authority un drugs said in urging doctors to warn their patients. when necesBATY -"agninat driving, while under medication."
Dr W. J. P. Camp, Pro- fessor of Pharmacology, University of Illinois School of Medicine, put barbitu- rates at the head of the list of drugs which can de- crease the ability to drive safely. Barbiturates comunonly prescribed sleeping pills.
are
28
This drug has "an action closely paralleling that of alcohol pure depression (of the central nervous system), and often leaving a hang-over," he said.
"Many patient daily diet of barbiturates with resulting Laziness in thought, of forgetfulness, and slowl reflexes, There may even be signs and symptoms of inebria- tlen, depending on dosage, but without the aroma
aro
on
ם
of Dicohol and of course with a negative breath-alcohol test,"
ADDITIVE
Should a person who has had barbiturates, take a dink "the effect of the two sub- S'ences ds at least addifve” he continued-and it may be that Whe one will greatly multiply effect of the other,
For his money, he said, barbiturates breed too many obituaries."
On sale in Knightsbridge, but I would be copied anywhere; a Curtain fabric designa, mean child's wheelbarrow painted white; ure swinging back to the white and Alled with pots of traditonal. The newest manges geraniums. This portable from the textile housca have flower-waggon can be left on
Anti-histamines, commonly practically
those your terrace climinated
or wheeled into prescribed for allergic condi- weird surrealist symbols that house for added decoration,
tions, also depress and add to they were so keen about. Back
"a fallgued and perhaps dis- in fashion are straightforward
consolata stute resulting from in fabrics stripes and checks
allergy." In a crazy mood? Then join the
Pharmacologicn! with a special rot-and-dirt-proof finish. Back too are Tolles de the latest do-it-yourself idea- selthee has recognised this by Jouy-idyllic woodland scenes paint your own murals for the udding mild stimulants to antl-
Enthusiasts use oil- histumines. delicately sketched out on the bathroom. fabric, which make an ideal bound paints on a white wall,
rip their imagination old furniture. Iet too, are new, prettier huge, green jingles of tropical drugo is also of concern, since
the
delicate leaves around the bath. chintzesko
for
herleground Back
stripes of Ivy leaves, rose sprays
and simple flowers,
I
on But "use of
stimulating
<dig-
the "Post-
over-dosages of amphetamine and similar substances are apt to affect a highly reactive slote in which mental processes and
be' grossly Northing new-under-the-sun reflexes may like the new unerushable department: That smart black turbed," he continued in carpeting that's on the market, Windsor-uirchair with a conlem- technichal journal, The tufts have a permanent porary slant that's on sale now graduate Medicine."' wave in them so that when you in the London stores is an exact tread on them they spring back. copy-even down to the black paint of one that the writer and poet, Oliver Goldsmith, gave to
friend in 1774.
•
I like now range of kitchen furniture in a good clear blue und white. The units
have
"One might also question the wisdom of a person drly- ing while he is taking co-called tranquillsing egin's, which are not without side actions und are # 'don't give a damn", attitudo,"
Hazel Meyrick own to prostuce
AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE
Simon And A Butterfly
-He Wanted Some Butter For His Toast- By MAX TRELL HEARING a good deal of noise, I've caught your
coming from behind the bookcase, Knarf and Hanid, the Shadows with the turned-about names, crept behind to investi- Ente,
the net
he waved Then through the air again. "Ah! Now
Yellow Butterfly
Knart and Hanid went over to had what Simple Simon ECC caught. To their astonishment, They found themselves on they saw it was a big, yellow Book Boulevard, where all the butterfly. books looked like little houses with flower gardens in front of dhem.
The noise came from Simple Simon's house: The door was wide open.
Knurf and Hanid ran inside.
They found Simon's mother in the kitchen, making some toast.
Stay For Breakfast
"Good morning," she said to Knort and Hanid. "I hope you can stay for breakfast. I'll make you some extra toast. The only "that trouble is," she added,
I've run out of butter. Simon is in the garden catching some now."
Hanid exclaimed: butter!"
"Calching
Sumon's mother nodded, "That's what Simon's doing. He always likes to catch butter.
WILS
While Simon's mother making extre toast, Kart and Hanid went out into the garden to see how Simple Simon could The shout- be catching butler. ing and yelling were louder than. 1ever,
They found Simon dashing up and down, waving a new at the end of a long stick.
"Come here, Butter!" Simon kept shouting. "I need you for my breakfast!"
"Simon! Butterflies don't give butter!" Hamid exclaimed.
Simon smilled.
"If butterflies don't give but ter, why are they called butter- flies?"
Neither Knart nur Hanid knew why butterflies were called but- terlies they didn't give butter,
•
Just then, Mrs Hubbard and Mrs Grundy came along. They both carried shopping baskets. and They leaned over the gale nodded Good Morning.
"Good morning, Mm Grundy! Good morning, Mrs Hubbard!" said Simon,
Knarf and Hanid greeted the two ladies, too,
"Isce,"
Mrs Grundy, "that you're catching butter-
es."
"He's catching them for but- ter," said Knarf, "but butterflies don't give butter, do they?"
"I don't think so," said Mrs Grundy.
Mrs Ilubbard didn't think so, either.
Doesn't Know Why
"Butterfiico don't give butler for the same reason that butter cupe don't give butter. But what the reason is, I don't know,
Rupert and the Old Hat-
Farmer Tunmute turns with strange expression as Rupert and Mrs. Bear approach You look puzzled," says Rupart. "Pleus." can I help you "Bh, what P No, no," says the farmer absently "It's nothing to do with you." He turne in to the fence and peers through his field glassca,
-42
Simon let the butterfly flutter away.
NOT OBVIOUS
"while
His point was that alcohol is a serious problem" in "this uselas Blaughter" re- sulting from car accidents, "We should not forget other drugs, In some ways, he salt, alcohol not the most dangerous drug potentially in the driver be
cause
"the effects of over- Indulgence are usually obvious, which
Is not go of the other
drugs.
"Many persona, of their own volition, or on advice of a physician, are taking, drugs which have a definite effect on the central nervous system," he Bald, "We need not stress that user of marihuana, morphone, heroin
or cocaine have По business driving a car, but in- sufficient thought has been. given to the effect of commonly used drugs."
more
He didn't think all the efforts to educate the publle on the dangers of mixing drinking and driving, were getting very for, since the "use of alcoholic Then Mra Hubbard and Mrs drinks is zo
common." The cod Grundy went off.
Public seems Indifferent,
drinker continue drive, and, drivers to drink, and withi an indifference that endangers themselves and others." United
"I think we know where to get butter," said Mrs Grundy, es they waved goodbye.
So Blmon let the butterfly flutter of.
A little later, Mrs Grundy and Mrs Hubbard came back, Mrs Grundy handled Simon a little package.
"Here's some butter," announced.
she
"It didn't come from a butter-
Ay" sald Mas Hubbard, "and didn't come from a buttercup,
store," procery
came from o
Pytes,
to
Household Hints
Hand tools are no inexpensive Items in any do-it-yourself pro- ect. Once purchased, take good caro of them so they won't need toplacing
Clean hand tools can be dip- Simon's mother invited them ped in a thinned shellac to give all to to breakfast. It was very them a protective coating and cheerful. There was plenty of prevent rusting,
toast and plenty of butter and
plenty of milk and plenty my
and Rupert hears him muttering.
There's something on Odmedod's head." he breathes. "It looks for all the world like #bird's nest. And there's another bird" flying round, and round getting food, it's impossible, it's never been known to happen, but it looks like a cathoo | ALL RIZIKA MILATER
of
thin film of soup to
To koop
Your buttermilk and plenty of plates mirror from fogging, and plenty of butter knives.
bathroom
apply n the glass
"I've never had. butter with a moistened finger. Polish 'with 'a doth or tanto and you brookfari," said Knart.
Everyone would have laughed won't have a blurred reflection except their mouth were too when you check your
R300. filled with breakfast,
apport.