Page
This Funny World
Bill Yates
1-19
"Eat your vichyssoise, drac, before it gets hot**
BY
THE
• WAY
by Beachcomber
WHEN an orchestra is playing, und Gaju.
W
I really that you I always like to watch the were somewhat embarrassed man with the eymbals, He will last your by the kiss which the probably have to through mayor gave you on presenting the entire symphony concert you with a model of a dustbin. with nothing to do but give one. It was intended as a courteous clash at a critical inement. scestures brut will be omitted from the progranine this year.
♫ presenice,
Yours fulthfully,
Gregory Naldrett.
It is surprising hat nobody We all hope that the memory hug written Tune-poem for of this triffing inconvenience Cymbals, to give him a chance will not deprive us of your to show his virtuosity soloist. As his moment drawe he comes out of his reverie,
himself.
holds his fra at the ready,
and watches the conductor as a cat watches a mouse. The suspense becomes unbearable as he poises his cymbals for the kill at the
Dear Mr Naldrett,
guarantees to
THE CHINA? MAIL,
JACOBY ON BRIDGE:
Extra Trick Costs. Rubber
By OSWALD JACOBY
"UNESSES, never work for
me,” moaned Hard Luck Joo. "I gucas I ought to take up gin, rummy."
"I looks to me as If you were playing gin rummy," said North. "There WEB NO renson to
troparding your contract by using up one of my high cluba to got to my hand for tho finesse in trumps. Wouldn't game and rubber be enough for you without the overtrick?"
As usual, Joe had brought this hard luck on himself, 'The contract was an excellent one and while overtricks are nice
NORTH 74
J96
◆ KQ 1094 ΦΑΚΕ
WEST
AKQJ65 ♥K?
AQUE
EAST
49832
$
843. *A92)
SOUTH (D)
AA10
AQ 10 3 2
+775
712
1082
Both vulnerable
West North Easti
South
1❤
14 24
2❤
Past
Pan
Pass
Opening lead-♣ K
Paas Pays
in duplicate they should not be played for when they jeopardise a rubber bridge contract,
It gives me great pleasure to accept your Invitation. I note that the mayor restrain what he calls his correct distance from cach courtesy, but what others might
cymbal
Dal term eindtional Instability. You anisses the other completely, or will agree. I am sure, that for a his a mere glancing blow? symbol of these plastic dustbins What if he drops one of them, 10 be kissed in pubile is hardy Payed ace and another trump
other. Suppo
thumb “The
thei
հա ar gels the top of
between them? aught relief wh he snacks together by tremendous. Then he sinks back into dreamland stilles
his overworked Com- panions plug away at the music, Could anything be more
DEAL
dignified?
method of the most dignißed drawing attention to an article so justly value by the borough council.
Yours faithfully,
Mimsie Slope $33)
Club gossip THEY say that when Mr Yul
Brynner, who is to take the BAI Mig: Stopcorner,
Trading part in the len "The My comuniti has oaked Egg and 1," was confirmed, the ine le write to inquire whether short-sighted bishop said, when
head, you would be prepared to be he saw the smooth
to be well this Mise Plastic Dustbin again this delare year in our Civic Week Parade and truly lak."
stone
**[
YOUR BIRTHDAY ......... .. By STELLA
THURSDAY, MAY 2
10
BOR
DORN today, you are extreme
ly adaptable. Your origin- allly and inventiveness make it possible for you to adjust changing circumstances with the greatest of ease. In fact, some times adapt and adjust when it would be far better for you to buck the tide than put- Line up with the
you
in radio or stage or serven,
not parti- television. You are cularly suited for manual labour of any kind and you are not too fond of active sports, although The you enjoy being spectators.
among
You are tactful and diploma- tie, always close-mouthed about
affairs. status quo, your personal
You You have a quick mind, and seldom discuss your future plans when it suits you. you can with anyone but aet first. Then, make a decision Instantly. you believe, it is time enough to
falk about
what
you are doing.
your
Although you are genuinely Sincere, frank and honest, you friendly toward those with abhor bluff, hypocrisy or fraud. whom you have a common bond That is one time when or interests, you do not make teet formakes you and you ато new nequaintances instantly scathingly criticall You prefer to put one you meet through a testing perlod first. to Interfere
You are not one
Talmadge
Among those born on this date were: Jerome K. Jerome, with others and will not step in author; Benjamin Field, mer- to give advice unless explicitly chant; Eddie Buzzell, comedian; asked. Then you always can be Pearl White, Norma depended upon for wise counsel. and Mary Anderson, actresses; You believe that everyone Brian Ahearn, actor; Bing Cros should have the self-confidence by singer, and Clyde Fitch, and self-sufficiency which you, author and playwright, yourself, poSSSS.
You are artistic and are To find what the stars have work la in store for you tomorrow, select happiest when your
allied in some fashion to the your birthday star and read the paragraph. Let fine arts. You are creative and corresponding dramatic and perhaps will find your birthday star be your daily your happiest expression on the guide.
FRIDAY, MAY 3
(Jan.
21-Feb. 193-** TAURUA ger. 21-May 21)- AQUARIUS This should prove to be a happy, A day when everything neeme to he family day. Plan a special event for going your way at home and at the
entertain
Cumbine, bolli interests and Perhaps
in office. veryone.
home,
prosper. 21)-
20)→→ (May-June
PIKCES
20-Mar. (Feb,
many Follow your Intuitions when it comes Your efforia are rewarded to handling a domestic problem. fold, today. The min in shining sid
call for at is well with youke world, Publie inatters may also
21-APT. ARIES (Mar. your attention.
personal, family Combine
22-July
201
affairs CANCER (June This is your "big day" this month with business matters and you will Stoke sure that you achieve some find that the two areas of interest Important, and algnificant goal. Now devotall.
or maybe nover!
(July LEO Domestic and outside aftales are
TARGET
23) zi-Aug.
likely to mingle les a
somewhat
confusing paltem today,
So
Bo
Betule in making plans.
SIN T
21)-
(Aug. It-Sept, VIRGO Flence and trušinem are favourable
and neighbourhood
to your interests. Combine
DIGITA
benent to all; ALIBRA
(Bept.
home with
24-Oct. 23) If you finish your businem car)lar thipei sunk today, take some time "off"to attend a lecture; Cultural in- tererts are, favoured,
24-NDY. sconrio, (Oct. Thle in "your day': Anything your heart desires may, within reasons be "yours. Strike out for
success.
شريع
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. X1)- Some publiơʻInman tragy come up for ZURUO your consideration), your
AGE
T
How many
words of four lasters or moto C you Team the letters to the
In
#quare 92 she left making ench the festure 10 each of the small squares may be used ones only.
Each word must contain rse large: Jetter in the "pentre senare,und there must be at inst one nine-letter word in the Link No plurais no foreign worda fi no prove OBCE. 61 words, very good * 38
tomorrow.
welfare could depend upon, your de«.- TUUAY'S) ZALGET 21 word,
CAPRICORN ^!(DOKU 23-JRES/"; 20)~~ Follow your iniukionek wil time you undertake :Today," You will ind. *they are seter than angtzilelag, wien_21,
Dood; escollient, Bolution
YSATURDAYAADLUTION | EIN (ows
After winning the opening spade lead Joe should have
West should have won that trick and cashed a spade. East would still make his ace of diamonds buil North's
diamonds long would be established for a club West discard before East and could do anything about that wuf.
As the hand actually went the Joe entered dumuny with Ace of clubs in order to take the trump finesse. The inesse lost to West's king and West spade proceeded to
cash, one then lead
of the_queen clubs. Now, when Eust got in with the acé of diamondia he led a third club ondt West's jock of clubs set the contract,
wid
♥*CARD Sense♣♦
Q-The bidding has been: North East Booth Wort
Pass 1 24
Pass You, South, hold: AKJ987 Wiz 4876 4954
What do you do?
A---Pan. You hold exacily the name carda as before and your partner has not asked you to show your spades."
TODAY'S QUESTION The bidding is the same as in the question just answered ex- cept that East bid two hearts in- stead of passing. You, South, bold the same hand. What do you do? Answer Tomorrow
THURSDAY, MAY 2, 1957.
WOMANSENSE
FOR THIS YEAR'S HOLIDAY DRESS: Think of something pretty and floral scrawled with roses, and then choose the plumb opposite. Like Specta- tor's impeccably neat brown poplin dress with the cutaway neckline, worn with a gondolier's hat from Venice,
HOUSEHOLD
Use a rubber sponge to re- lint and dog hair from
move
•
•
•
clothing.
Use a well-soaped percolator
BOYS'
HINTS
The Three Lives Of Diana Barrymore
"There's New York.
Dgirl for whom
life been
no message
IANA BARRYMORE, n. didn't set out to point a moral," sho said: ““But writing?.it : bán
a cleansing, proçess... mixed plenty of bitter with Us lee paychiatry in a way, the glitter, says she will. And it. I hadn't had the book resumo her acting career wilcox, hot third
to work on when Bob died (Bob husbond) I this summer.
don't know what would have Behind this statement of happened to me. plans lies a. back-from-the- "No, I'm not sorry I told all depths story of a girl who in writing. I became so objec was born with just about live-I began to think of me an everything looks, name, another person-that if you read me now, I'd breeding, wealth, talent and some parts back
probably blush pink." opportunity-and in her own words "seems to have done her best to throw it away."
RAN AWAY FROM THINGS
I
naked whether she had whipped the alcohol problem.
She bristled, and answered; "That is nobody's business but mine and my paychiatrist's. I won't discuss hubaride cilher
..there are some
things I "That Diana," she said, "has just won't talk about," been a bloody fool,"
Miss Barrymore, who plans to But the 30-year-old daughter open in an American play in the inte actor John Burry- London this summer, said she more says ite is looking up. has been visiting psychiatrist "I'm a happy girl," she said. In for more than four monthe- an interview. "I used to run "She tells me, 'for God's sake, away from things, I don't any plan, you think more negative more."
ly than anybody I know?
Miss Barrymore. whose mother was Michael Strange, the writer, raid in retrospect,
seems she has Ilved three
C
liven.
the
TO THINK POSITIVELY
the
"Well, I'm trying to think One was as a girl brought up positively.
What might happen if in surroundings of wealth and.
don't think play flopped? "I social register; another, as a promising actress trying to live there ever can be as many dark up to a family name; and the moments again," she said. third, which would need "the "A lot of people are rooting combined talents of a Tennessee for me. When you've been low Williams and Dostoevsk! to and are struggling to get back, explain, the wisdom and com- somebody's always ready with a great passion of St Augustine to for- helping hand It's
American trall." give."
"Only Dlann" is to blame for "Too Much, Too Soon," her the course her life took, she just-published blography, writ said. ten with Gerold Frink, 19 a I did it myself ob A candid account of
lives. lot of people didn't help any.
It recites tho
turning to
three details of
alcohol, of
her three "I'm
marriages, many affairs, and suicide attempt.
Why such frank story, asked her.
Keep In Trim:
proud
Д
of the name hot been born Susie Smith instead, things
a Barrymore, but if I
I would have been different
much different."United Press,
by Ida Jean Kain
Reduce And
Younger-
Look
+
AXCESS pounds not only But many overweights are in. EXC
make you look older quandary. While they strongly desire to aid themselves of the and feel older, but they burden of excess fat, they are are actually aging. Excess fearful that dieling will make pounds place a strain on all them look older. There's a'rea= son for this apprehension... the vital organs, handicap- on semi-starvation dicts anxi ping the whole body. As too-fast reducing nature does one overweight reported, slap you in the face. But martc her doctor bluntly stated: this it's poor nutrition, not the brush to wash away the brown pary when too much wax is "Your body is 40 years old weight loss, that's at fault, -
nctual.80 You сап reduce and look film that collects under handles applied and when it is not buited instead of your and switches of your slove.
enough. Use a good quality self--because of this excess younger when you build
daily menus around the foods thal are the best source" of Waxed linoleum becomes slip- polishing wax on linoleum, i
"keeping young" nutrients --- particularly protein, calcium and Iron. Protein helps to shore up sagging tissue; calclum acts as a buffer lo the nervous system; iron staves off fatigue:
AND
CROSSWORD Finny, The Rubber Fish
13
Autoss
1. áttar an sam. Styen 34 Domopli-
cated. (B)
- Milk one—he's a bit OE » WORK-
Ing. (3) 10. Put we metal to 16 Across, (8) 11; This can't very well be the yard of bread you get in FIRMOR, (D)
13. In this aposher way of enging
Alfred the Great † (61)
18. Den it be the opposite of gouty
(8)
16. Bone wish a note.(5)
18. These ga along with fancies, (4)
20, 1 blant we in effeminate sones.
.(0)
23. Wlokactum, (B)
24. An odd, piece of volos produc
tion, (B)
25. Otd one nave followed the ees
Get the Junta, (5)
so. High bonours. (4)
Killer, (9)
Down
2. Note thin. (2) 1. Order for 4 bird to Williams the
4. Tale of string 7 (4)
5. Ceremonial. O
6. Mosaure for ell-takers. (#)__
7. A stage Joke found in the Bible.
light guns found to the nests,
12.orse for precies people 7. (5) 14. Lions make the jointe, toj -17 Musi
Dolmen pun phenson, 131 -18, May found.
Longon
19. its a tikk.
21 alver Of Y
AUR
bacimook.
GIRLS'
--He knew the Splash of a Pond When He Heard It-
By MAX TRELL
DINNY, was his name. He was
FINNY
a fish. But not a real fish.
"The pond is in the country," sald Knart.
"And in the middle of the winter, it's freezing cold. You
He was made of rubber. He wouldn't like swimming in the
was a rubber fish.
pond all covered with ice," sald
Nevertheless, and in spite of Honid.
being made of rubber, and even, though he wasn't real, Finny
"You'll have to wait
was .fish, At any rate, he next summer," both looked like a fish. Or, to put finally said, It another way, he didn't look
ke anything but a fish,
Finny's regular place, the `place where he could always be found, was on lap of the book- shelf next to the glass vase with the bitter-sweet berries in 1 We don't have to tell you that the top of a booketise is no it place for a fish, not even for a rubber (sh.
Naturally, Finny didn't this place.
Not For Him
like
"IL'e not for me," he con- plained. "I can't swim on top of the bookcase,"
..
the
Everyone felt sorry for Finny. For who wouldn't feel sorry for a fish whose only place to swim was, the top of the bookcaset But Knarr and Hanid, thei shadow chlidren with turned-about names, felt sorrlest in of all for him. They stood front of him on the bookcase and
tried to think what could done.
bo
"I not something big-some- thing really big, like a pond," Bald Finny. "Oh, if only, I had a pond to swins in
M "But there im't any pond noar, horg Finny, Hauld told
until shadown
But Finny kept saying: "No- no-no-the pond isn't in the country. It's right here. It's in this house!"
"Impossible!" said Knarf. "There's
house. Hand,
weight."
MAGAZINE
splash and ripple of a pond when I hear it."
"But you couldn'i have heard 1 Knart sald.
"Listen! Listen now! Do you hear? There's the splashing, and rippling!" said Finny,
Splashing Sound
n
remained Knart and 'Hanld absolutely allent, listening, And sure enough, they heard splashing, rippling, runhing and a gurgling as a couple of brooks cascading into a pond,
Then all at onee Knarf and out Iaughing. Hand burst Suddenly, nt that Instant, and all at once, they had guessed a pond Finny this what kind of 2103 pond in none at all fisted meant,
Enart and Hand felt sorry for the fiab,
Tour
While fewer calories are needed in middle age and over, greater proportions of prościn foods and body replenishing materials are required, to tako care of wear, and tear.
To draw on alored fat and reduce, calories must be cut therefore | dieters calories, being limited, must do double duty. The protective foods which furnish double duty calories are: lean meat, fish and fowl; milk and cheese, eggs green and yellow vegetables fruits; whole grain or enriched bread; and butter or margarine,
To keep up your strength and prevent hunger while reducing, it's a good plan to build every double protein. Then they pleked him up and meal around So they said yes, there is a carried him down the hall and Breakfast an egg and a glass room, and threw of skim milk; luncheonfish ot Just let me tell you some- pond in the house big, com- into a little
fortable pond, with lots of room him plop into the bathtub lean meat, or cheese or cottage thing," said Finny, "I'm only u rubber fish. I've only goi
he rubber is like Finny especially where a litle boy was taking milk dinner-ho sounde rubbery brain. But I know the rubber fish like Finny.
Rupert and the Rock Pool-37
Rupert hurries across to his pale raft.” Good, 12 she fishi and to his delight the object that "Now get your things. They're har caused, Bill such surprise is gound the corner. Then look but none other than his friend thee me again." It':dives again and talking Gah.." Hello, you again 1 Rupert, followed by the speechless the little bear amica, * You were Bill, wanders what it means:. Then quite rigse, I got home sa repoqthly he gives a start, and a happy cry thee 1. tell, asepp.on that rubber ad tune, forward
ALL NIGHTENMENNYED,
his bathi
Have you got your copy of the latest Rupert Adventure?
RUPERT
and the SNOW PRANKS
S. C.
Now obtainables
POST:::LTD.
$1.00
soup with skim milk plus a liberal serving of lean meat. The meela should also include vegetables and fruits, and limited emounts of bread and butter. The foods that keep you looking younes will keep you feeling t
Wibile 2 pounds a week weight lons is good rale, past young middle age it is often desirable to reduce at the more modeit rate of one
s' week.
A little regular exercise in creases birculation and murtice! Walking is perdest Iwo miles a day, can makeți dieter look radiant, Passi exerclis ón machines álitas circulation and helps tons
Don't aim at ultra, szenz) « Hines, for reducing too far. nging. A five-pound margin on curves, happily, I pre reduced look,