THE CHINA, MAIL, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1957)

What! No Hot Bath

For Mr. Maugham?

THEN I came into the room, the Old Party was some ice around the rim of the

W waiting for me..hinched up in one corner of the plans for the

settee reading the evening paper,

"I view most things today with equanimity. I am

No

Ile was wearing a crumpled suit and elastic-sided longer distracted by things, as suede shoes. Round his neck hung a monocle,

once I was. You know-when I Aret moved into my villa ut

The curtains of hia hotel RODERICK MANN Cap Ferrat my study had a Ognificent view of the Bay of Nico. Instead of writing I would

Bulle were drawn, but through

a chink I could see the bend- kaups of

far below, light up splashing ribbons of and down luck inno

When the Old Party saw me his ancient face-etched like a valley in which the river of life

"You will have to rise above alt all day looking out over the

waler

You know what I did?" 11," I said. "After all, you sci "No." I said.

os an Impartial yourself up observer of life's vagaries."

"I had the window bricked "That is an amusing phrase," up," said the Old Party.

Bild: "That makes you a of life's "I think so

vagaries wrote it,"

is running dry-splintered info sak the Old " I said, "You bricked-up observer

a welcoming bi

bille,

"Hello.

hello"

Somerart Maugham.

eried

"Did 17" sald the Old Party. I don't remember everything I've written,"

"Well," I said. "You always "Port

tell me you come to London for good conversation. Did you find any this time?"

"No,"

ould the Old Party, "No good conversation at all, it has ull been most melanchṣly."

"Maybe you should have done. "I have not the talking?"

SMALL TALKER

[ hald: "If I may Trot out a particularly banal question-ore you looking forward to mything. said the Old Parly. nuch fine lei, What thinking I do is mostly of the past." He looked melan- choly, suddenly, like an ancient, unloved Chinese coolla, "One Think of Something, you

On

Hs mask-like face did not know." change

Hul expression.

Sim

sand: "Have you seen many hooded eyes which have gazedd friends in London upon 83 winters smije a little,

the yes,

Old "No. I like to sten-not to Party. Though I have out- falk. I am jor conversa- lived all my old ones save one tionlist. That's because ! Winston Churchill. He is ve slammer and an shy."

We months younger than 1. Incredible, thought, but have been friends for 50 years." true, Maugliams who has done "What do you think of young

whose books have sub! over 23,000,000, who will leave

more money than any writer In history (£500.000 is a xmel guess)--Is the shyest of mans.

"I

few days," said the Old Party, "I un ponng back to my home on the Hiviera. And I must say I am a leifle oppres hensive. My house in brated by oil I am told I shall not even ке enough to mjoy a hal bath."

"I like that phrase," said the Old Party.

like that phrase. Did really write it...?"

SMALL TALK

ASKED how he thought he stacked up against Shakespeare, Ernest Hemingway is reported have said:-

"Shakespeare's stuff is differ- ent-but that's not to Bay it's inferior. There are passages in Shakespeare to which I'd have been quite pleased to put my name."

I wonder which they were.....? HEALTH - FADDIST भ

Gloria Swanson schde me bør recipe for Seaweed Cock- tail. It rendu-

"First, shake out the sand....**

HON: HIROMKO. LATE EMPEROR OF JAPANÍ LATE SON OF HEAVEN.

MARSHAL ROYAL AIR FORCE

OF THE

***

Following the announcement that Rommel's ex-chief of staff, Lieut.-General Spaidel, is to command the British Army of the Rhino...

people today*** I used, Even his friends can't tell when he is laughing at them. He's a modern

He considwexi the question for A monent. Then: I must be honest-1 do not

unters and mystery... a poet who can make money by his

Th677 And don't think I particularly want to. It was because 1 no longer understood present-day Idiom that I gave up writing letion you know,”

The man who considers him- self the best dry Murtini mixer on the Riviera ("Four paris gin, part vermouth, and rub

02

"Enjoy Crashing?"

trade ...

the English-American Eliot

St. "Louis wan home nf the blues, the Mississippi boat-

men, and Mr Joseph Pulitzer

the newspaper magnet,

S: Louis is A rumbustoust city earthy, crowded,

troverted. And

The Cornell Aeronautical Laboratory have a new car.

It is made for smashes. The potentially lethal steering wheel is replaord by a lever-iype power-steering system. Other safely devices include the driver's seat in the centre of the car (for better visibility) backward-facing bucket scala for passengers, safely bretta, roof padding and all-round bumpers.

Cornell scientists say that their anfety car could crash head-on at 50-m.p.h-and the driver and passengers would step out unharmed.

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- אוי

Henry Ware Ellog came to St. Louis bearing the aseelle, sofi- voiced, gentlemanly, Bostonian creed of Unitarianism. Thomas Stearns Ellot was born there,

And Thomas Stearns Ellot must have absorbed more CH the steamboat-whistle drive uf St. Louls than St. Loula absorbed of the quietude of Unitarianism.

Harvard and Sorbonne

He went on to from Harvard to the

and from the Sorbonne to Ox- ford.

He is a member of the Order of Merit, an honorary Doctor of Literature of London, Cam- bildge, Harvard Yale, Prince- ton, Columbla, Bristol, Leeds, Washington und Paris Univer- sitles, an honorary Doctor of Laws of Edinburgh and Si. Andrews' Universities, and Doctor of Philosophy of the University of Munich.

He

0

dresses like a diploma!. has never warn a beard. hair

acatly always

is

He His combed.

Once he was a very success- ful banker Now he is a very successful publisher.

And, of course, he is a port — at times a highbrow, inseru- table, hyper-intellectual poet,

But he has never quile lost his car for the steam whistles of the Mississippi.

They blare through his poems with a raucous hoot, they can suddenly turn his most gentle- manly plays into a riot,

The easy way

the

And that, perhaps, is reason why T.S. Ellot is very close to being the only man make his living

alive who can

out of poetry.

Can

His plays

keep the queues going for years in Lon- don And New York. He can usually though not, Indeed, always be understood even by the least poelle of men.

All in all, his current Income from his books and plays is 18.00 estimated at more than £3,000 25.00 a year a record for a poet.

8.50

to the top He did not get 25.00❘ the hard way.

35.00

7.50 tive.

His employers report that ho was extremely efficient, con- 5.00 scientious, and highly skilled at

detalled work with figures,

10.00

By LES ARMOUR

serenity and the death of his wife in 1947 cut him Ceeply,

Now he has married his pri- vale secretary who has been almost a part of his family for nearly a decade. Characteristi- cally, he sought to avoid all fun and fanfare and even went to the length of arranging the wedding service for û a.m.

All this may suggest that the man is complacent, colourless, even dull.

Ifis outward calm, however, Is very much a facade,

лs

His sense of humour is finely sharpened as a surgeon's senipel and he once furned nut a book of verses about cats which has been a best-seller ever since.

His mind is alive to all the drama of everyday life.

Un-pompous

*The theme might have be- come uncomfortably heavy, even pompous.

Why MUST men take us so seriously?

THE

HE best parlour game the world is the game of generalising about women. Perhaps it is most aspiration and the human con- successful when played by dition, the futility of striving after, permanence in a world of men, as they enjoy working ceaseless change, the hopeless-off a lot of old grudges and ness, of trying to come to proving their natural total understanding in a life- superiority, and women, time apt to be cut short at any who

moment.

His feelings,

by AMANDA MARSHALL

ke Clare Boothe Luce, or are simple, freckle-faced ġlils-c€x}= door and look like Doris Day.

th even

can turn straight insult into an however, have implied compliment, ask never blinded him to

simple for nothing more than to practicalities. He is more than remain the perpetual topic # sleeping partner In the publishing firm of Faber und of conversation. Fater.

These days it has become

Fomething of a fashion to play

this

cheerfi

game quite

seriously. Woman has become

so much of a worry to adver-

Liver's, television planners

anthropologists,

Experts who may have be- ceciologists, bank managers, He has never lost the pro- come bure: with the women- fcasional banker's intuition for in-gencrat line of talk

can inclurers, and those

13.17.

a good risk - nor the pro- progress 10 national charac- happy Mombers of Parliament fesional writer's appreciation teristics In women. of his publle and what it wants. affords

Unpredictable

rially opportunities for

This who feel fools when naked to magnificent kisa bables, that soleme books unleashing are being written about her in tenderly nurtured prejudices, the same way that people write usually

based on hearsay, bau? bee-keeping, or celluloid, ilustrated magazines collecting or head-hunting Irk For just that reason, Illerary and sixth-hand experiences. Bartxo critics and scholars tend to

stamp-

regard him duobtfully and English women have good The whole business is getting serious youths of the “angry | skin, no dress sense, and ure out of hand and sometimes young man" schools take hlin taught by Naante that England hanker after the dear old days lo be the very epitome of the is a man's country, with horses when men refused to taka encrusted bourgcols.

coming a close second, French- women seriously and gave the His only reaction to his cri- shrewd shoppers, and lead very Instead of votes

chic, ferociously poor simple things diamonds his disciplined, 2100 to say quiet and happy.

immoral, Ilves between tea-

ties is twłokle glasses,

03

behind

women

are

His friends who know him tine and dinner,

"Possum" ta

nickname

Bim

its

derived from his artisile works about cats) utterly

regard unpredictable and

Freckle-faced

to keep them

The latest newcomer is Mr

Hendrik de Lecuw Anterior author of n

and very angry untially written book with A three-thought title: Woman, the Bloomers either run Dominant Sex, from careers and look to Bikinis".

even they are never quite sure American women when he is laughing at them. I international

SCARED of the DENTIST?

ED-HAIRED

Here is a way to keep calm

As a result they were soon

Mr de Leeuw explains at length that the contemporary American woman is

very often

boney, cold-blooded, Frustrated, domineering, power mad and a good deal more

beside, has acquired dominance | over American socioty, is out to steam-roll men into object sub- mission and has forgotten that women are "feminine first, and

She was right, of course, to human beings after" if you can that tricky line. of used as a remedy for insomnia, de sceptical. Though these drugs follow But it was apparent that the are valuable, and for the thought. mast

valuable

characteristle majority safe, some people are these drugs displayed

Are American women really was the sensitive to them, even after production of a state of tran- taking

monsters of only small quantities, such

frozen and qulity, accompanied by mental. That is why

barren they should not ambition

salt- relaxation and a diminution of be used except

Jow some quile under medical staking? I restlessness.

Jolly ones who seem to have no " supervision.

obsessive urge to put their "If I were sensitive to them, husbands through the mincer

Jean and serve them up

hamburgers at a

Over the last year a wide field Jean

of application has been found

R Hall was a prelty but

extremely nervous girl. She had all kinds of complaints: it was n case of, "Ok my finger, oh 71121 thumb, ok my headuches, ol

said

A

casc

some

01

05

business-girls

Do it gently

for them. They have been given what would happen?" to children before having their Hall asked.

tonsils re- Not long after taking these luncheon,

drugs, moved; they tranquillising have

been people have complainest

vision prescribed as double

dizziness. protection Others have become depressed against at- and a number have been sur-

If you are going to tacks of peeled of being, as the pollee them (which, realists would say, asthma at would say, under the influence is primarily what women are

ALL IN A DOCTOR'S DAY

Д

by Cedric

used

Carne

and

Bently,

attack

night.

They et alcohol.

H is belter' to, do around for), have been Recently two youths who had it

the liko

Helen to re taken the drugs were in a motor Hellason

of carloons

sad, witri duce anxiety accident. After taicing alcohol portly. American ladies at childbirth, a car driver usually feels that the undaunted spirit of teen:gers

he car drive marvellously, that eternally

"And," said, allay

"to

our

"The Cocktail Party", Ellota most philosophical play, paints my tum!" a dramatic contrast between the. However, on examination I life of calm domesticity and the found that there was nothing desperate existence of commit-

her except sho wrong with ment to un ideal-without needed her teeth attended to. I fudge between haven't been to the dentist for attempling to them, But its subtle power

"I'm just too yours," she Hes in I relation of the

nervous to go. Ilis éducation continued until psychological price which he

Because the idea of sitting in

I

buying beauty 7.50 he was 27. Then he went to to be paid for choosing domes-a dentist's chair appalled her, I

his car is running like a bird,expensive pots and treatments, work as a junior bank execu- ticily,

and that his powers thought of the tranquillising

of judg~ or like Thurber, who courteous“ appre ment are sharpened. drugs that so many people have hension before dental appoint-

ly and briefly remarics, been taking recently. In my ments."

The mildly intoxicated driver "Though statisticians In view, sometimes without reason. Not long ago,

thinks so highly of his appar- time have never kept the score, 200 patients But here, I Lelt, Was

a good deal hero undergoing dental surgery were catly improved ability that he is Man waste" where they could be used with

teeth needed given one of these tranquillining tempted to take risks. Doses of below and Woman, even more," benefit, for her

drugs. It was discovered that tranquillising drugs can have urgent

When Thurber draws a yast, attention. "Whint

only 5 per cent, instead of the similar effects, even in people happens when you

predatory woman towering over Eliot, however, 1109 never take these drugs?” Jean asked. usual 46 per cent, showed any not sensitive to them.

anxiety.

Another disadvantage, is that modest house and an even been able to suppress his senge. Most people, some 10 minutes

Other groups of people too habit formation might occur in modester, man, aw sces his of humour and the play pokes later, feel a mood of elation and

certain types of pernormity,

Against asked to take the have been

characters fun at over-seriousness this feeling lasts up to half an alarm

"go I insist," I said, "that you cross, the gentle

breaks onec, sterner,

Into

hour. Then, as this effect wears drugs experimentally. Students more and

03 Laughter

And in throff, it is followed by a period for example. Here it was found only take the drug, Jean, when like Mr de Leeuw evin 1, no

I give you the O.K.

feminist nature, om prepared hero, -nearly omplectent of contentment, calm, and con- that the student-lecturer barrier normal amounts."

to defend women all along the For himself, be preform psychiatrist who has insinuated fidence.

wan, brokert down. Tho students

promise,' sho said. Yet line. Is it perhaps iimo some- moderation.

himself as an uninvited truest

"Sounds marvellous," she said, attitude and were willing to atap question after question. By the and Don't Worry: So Muchs developed a hall-fellow-well-mot sho ili nervously Baked me one wrote a book called Man, at a cocktail party, bursta into "just what I next." His personal uro hag been a drinking song and downs a These drugs were Best in the old professor on the back, time she left I felt quite worn About It724 A wholly without the emotional bottle of gin, straight..

troduced as hypnotic agents. Unlike some of the barbiturates, He feels deeply the con- they' do not leave behind that between human angover" felling,'

"Tha His first major poem, 4.50

Waste Land", won him instant 1.00 acclaim as a major poet, And 3.00 It has continued to sell steadily,

ever since.

1,50

1.50

Ellot has acquired the English man's slight

of

30 spectacle .30 dogmatic faiths,

.30

at

SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST. LTD. Hos and stresses which trail-

HONGKONG

KOWLOON tion associates with poetry. Hle

Ørst¿marriage, was a model i of tradiation

pain Cy

out. SENSITIVE?

"I hesitated a minulo, and then "What's the catch then?" I helped myself. to a small Jean Hall asked ma,

Iranquillising dose of whisky,

• Woman

Dominant Sex, from: Bloosters to Bikinis, Flandrik de Zuruw. Arco..: 16%, pages,

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