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overhearing a person exclaim after he had been insulted, 'When his mother dies I will not attend her funeral!
On arrival at the funeral in this case study visitors signed the visitors sheet and each was given a red and white packet with two black characters, meaning 'lucky ceremony' (吉禮), printed on it. Inside were a sweet, a handkerchief (usually a facecloth) to wipe tears and a coin. For a funeral, the amount of money should be an odd number. For other events it is an even number: 'Good luck always comes in pairs.'
Mourners walked to the altar, bowed three times to the deceased person's picture representing the soul, turned left, inclined and bowed once to the lined-up family, some of whom kneeled or crouched low and stared at the floor!
Mourners are expected to sit and tarry awhile. Chinese are not too impressed by solemnity. You cannot live with the dead. Some relaxed, chatted about things in general, as well as confirming how good the dead person was. In fact the odd nervous giggle at things which should shock, in Chinese culture, are a sensible, natural escape mechanism to protect and keep the system in balance. Mourners later left the funeral parlour, ate the sweet, bought more with the coin they were given and threw away wrappings (which could bring bad luck if kept) while 'sweetness was still in their mouths'.
As in the West, funerals of important people are partially viewed as events where one should be seen. There are, however, some who should not attend funerals. For example, those whose birthdays fall during the same month (Chinese calendar) that the funeral is held. Neither should those who are already mourning attend another funeral or send presents. Not infrequently, parents still do not attend services of their own children who die before them.
At a funeral, immediate members of the family wear white (colour of deep mourning) shoes (no longer grass sandals) and traditional, cheap, undyed (white) clothes; with white shirts and trousers for men and white skirts for women. Over this is placed a thin, hemp, 'surcoat' of sackcloth (麻衣). One corner of part of the sacking attire may be worn, like a hood, for women. Men usually wear a 'skeleton hat' or white headband. On some, there is an auspicious red spot which counteracts evil. Although clothing can vary slightly in style it is basically a