T

WHAT, MR MASON

THE CHINA MAIL, THURSDAY, AUGUST 23, 1956,

DON'T YOU LIKE ME?

By LOGAN GOURLAY

was not gruzding interviews. Press alone.

4

wns the night Mr James Mason dropped a brick. Or threw the masonry at me. It started like any other Press recep-

They shook hande tion with cocktails and and said: “Nice to things to nibble, including Politely. small sausages on sticks, Mr Muson and wife Pamela Polely arrivexi about 20 minutes

Mr and Mrs Mason had to cope olone.

1

sald: "Welcome

with me you."

back."

The Press agent wilapetti to lato. Without daughter me: "He's much mellower now, Portland-Portland the pre- you know."

cocious.

But eurer she had been cavorting in the holei suite for the photographers. She had posed in her red stole Turkish and kicked her slippers in the air.

That night, however, Portland --who has ben energy! to consider herself an autistic actult

at the age of seven but has not yet directer her father in a

POCKET CARTOON by OSBERT LANCASTER

Hebut never, never forget that in any Internationa! dispute we are always gravely handicapped by a temperamental rejuctance to resort to force!"

lan

I said: "s he?"

Mr Mason startext to

ngent intervened.

Mr Mason allowed himself to ushered out hurriedly. Pity.

I report this incident because it in so characteristic of Mason. I am not by any means his first target,

HE ONCE described his ex- T "the boss J. Arthur Rank wore thing that has happened to the

film industry. British He bus no apparert talent for cinema or showmanship."

Answer moKUČI

question with a patient, slightly patronsdag afr-n though ennuil was just behind him.

Yes, he still had a lot of cale, Eleven in ad

Yes, he was planning a film- new version of Jane Evre the s been for some time).

HE ONCE slapped Buthor William

the Saroyan acroes when they were sitting cinema. Ho wis angry Saroyum was talking because loudly during the performance.

HE ONCE said when he was

10 Brindes

settle ini quilling No, he wouldn't be retiring Hollywood and take up Ameri- a for a while. (He has done can eftizenship: "Why should! 1 around to help with the this frequently

smi stack and once

This little churo tip acting for export trade?

do with the has nothing to

he has (Incidentally, artist." mevor completed the procces of corning an American citizen.)

K

giving wul litigation.)

No, his many fuwsuits had SVET included one against Con- ential, the dirt-raking Ameri- Mart magazine which sees He particularly 1” in Hollywood boudoiry through a distorted keyhole.

✩ ★

I

It was then thiet asked thera cally if he knew that was talk of a British edition of Confidential.

And was then that he threw the masonry by replying. --

+Y And you stinkt be the exliter."

ubjectest to the remark. He wad, scowling at me like Siaturese cat that has been offered inferior fish-

"I mean H. You've smeared nil my friends in Hollywood "

#askert which frierul.

I don't remember off-hand,"

anken if he had ever been smeared, as he called it, by me. Brief dagry pause for Miezde Letfcctions

"No."

"But I think I should put your name up as British editor At this stage 6 Confidential."

HE ONCE said that Holly- wood leading ladies had nothing to offer except "placid pulchri tude." (Ho has

h Luste aliteration, )

Lives

for

an

Obviously the iconoclast. A rebel. It's (UM- cult to say whether he's a con- genital case whether he was chip on the born with shoulder 47 You' Buildersfield, or whether he de

kind L WIN awwws-making thing for ny actor to wear like

Astrakhan collar.

Anyway ho romans spoker, provocative, and

Th

ou!- ruke

If he Wasta't adex sharply ani Intelligently talented he'd prob ably have been ignored ami left En wither. Or quietly murdered,

say he's Sun. } hypocrite.

no

He'll rever pose, like too many stars, as a tuenly- mouthed, sinpedog diplomat.

I can depend on him saying what he thinks about me even when it's insulting. And I nake him a promise.

I always do the samNE

IL worried, moustache-chewing you, James,

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"We're not exactly refugees from Egypt, madam - we were on our way there for a holiday."

THIS MAN NEHRU

A

He is always found leading the critics of the Commonwealth

By DOUGLAS CLARK

LL over Nehru's In- And in the diplomastic See who is talking! This dia laxt week the manoeuvres which preceded is the man who plays blatant his own Lanners Buttered. that crucial gathering Mr power politics on Mosques, temples, Nehru succeeded in pitch frontiers. This is the man been trying to and churches held thanks- ing his stand bang in the who has giving services. In the big centre of the international intimidate the Portuguese towns $be shops

were spotlight. His envoys had out of Goa. This is the man hoarded up against the been scampering about the who sends 100,000 troops to capitals London, occupy and hold down Mos- exuberance of the holiday crisis

Cairo, Moscow lem Kashmir. making crowds. Everywhere Paris, processions marched to the busily pouring Mr Nehru's raucous rhythm of bugles obnoxious brand of oil upon wake the waters.

and drums.

In this growing crisis Mr Nehru, more firmly and

Mi Nehru further tells us that preparation*** 31 Britain and Frince Iza the Middle Eat have arred Asta

And in New Delhi the lucky multitudes were en

By what right does Mr Nehru tertained to a special treat spectacularly than ever be presume to speak for ull Asia: carmarked for it is a claim he makes over and -the smiling spectacle of fore, has

Mr Nehru in person on the himself the part he loves over again. ramparts of the Red Fort, most to play.

rewarding their plaudits Observe him with with a toplofty speech about hund on his. heart.

Anyce might forgiven

that he fr thinking was the accredited public rela- his trunk officer of that continent's

teeming millions.

But, fact, there has never

the high moral role that lic is the archetype of been any truth whatever in the

India now plays in

world

Marthi

HE ATTACKS British rule in nection for ever. Why should he

to go it alone? Kenya ús a "reign of BEVSTU affars under the beneficent sweet reason, the prince of claim. Its arrogance is exceedext

not only As a member of the Cominon apprezakm the great only by its utter lack of sub- prefer instead

against Does Mr Nehru evr

Mau Mau but against leadership of Mr Jawaharlal peace-makers,

wealth he gets lush pickings and the neutral. And, as usual, the stance.

speak for Pakistan? For Japan?

of innocent Afri- Nehru.

perquisites. In the existing sel- "thousands" way he interprets the part For the Philippines? For

Korea?

up the deadvantages are all to cars. is to apply a school-masterly For Afghanistan? For

the rest of the Commonwealth. HE ASSAILS British policy in ruler to the knuckles of Dues he even speak for faraway

all to Mr Cyprus, advantages are which is now showing Nehru.

HE RANGES himself against Britain and bend unctuous Tibet,

Just what thinks of its Red

Examke some of them. ly backwards to soothe

Chinese masters <t whom Mr

First, for Mr Nehru, the

CRITICISES HE BITTERLY Britain's enemics.

Nehru lavishes so much admira- Commonwealth is a most fruit- the Baghdad Pact

HE ful clearing-house of informa-

CONTEMNS NATO 09 What Asiatic countries, Indeed, tion. He is kept in intimate a powerful protection for dues Mr. Nehru ever speak for touch with the views and plans colonialism." was except those which are bitterly of other

What is it all in aid of? On Wednesday last India celebrated the ninth anni- versary of her "liberation" from British rule.

HIS ROLE

than

that

tron?

THE PICKINGS

member-Governments.

SEATO.

Whenever and

wherever the erects do- He is made free of their precious Commonwealth strategical secrets. He knows a fences to preserve itself Mr hundred times more shout lop- Nehru is to be found leading the

level

And

Is it not an amazing piece of impudence?

More

a piece of hostile to the British Common WELL, of course, it will there ever such

not be long now before humbug? Whom does Mr wealth and its allies?

British policies than critics, the people of India emerge Nehru think he is fooling? the self- Just look at

Maclean and Burgess ever did.

now, in the most dan- from their pipe-dream. With

And if, mmed with all this gerous crisis that has threatened production falling and righteous language he rolls

crucial information, MA now ita interests since the war. national income down since out to rebuke us for daring

ambassador in Cairo

past has Anally behaved

all VET Mr Nehru is still per- sends hir an Y

off

for for toleration. repeatedly the British left, their cheer to take precautions in

milled to stay in that Com Fourrying

Does Mr Nehru really think ing has little indeed to feed area where Nasser's grab

monwealth. By a legalistic turn private audiences of Nasser

The rest of that even in a dispute as grave on this threatens the standard of of phrase in a single brief Act well, what then? But certainly

the Commonwealth may fcol which exempts

as this he can coolly continue to Parliament,

anxiety But particular Independence Day living of every family in of

for MA

sit on the fence and lecture us? India even from the need to give some Mr Nehru himself had & Britain.

If so, let him learn that such new and special reason to

an emergency as the Suez crisis puts members of the Common- celebrate,

wealth to the

supreme test. Let

on.

He declares that "at- allegiance to the British mon- Nehru it is a Ane and advan-

we are still stuck with tageous situation. archy, tempts to settle the dispute him.

For just 24 hours later by force are the wrong way

was and do not belong to the Suez Conference

age."

opening in London.

of

Mr That,

course, sulta this Nohru.

If it is left to him, he will cling on to the Empire con-

NEW YORK TEENAGE GANG WARFARE:

FREE POP

POP BRINGS TRUCE

From JAMES COOPER

1.

these three

ho

IN THE CLUTCH im study the response of Mr

X

оль

Holland, Premier of Now Zen- land, who declared:

"Where Britale stands, we stand, where Britain goes we go that's the mood of the. Now Zealand people."

I!

WHAT NOW?

to what should be done about

·him?

THEN, of course, there are the immense economic benefits ho reaps from keeping a firm clutch on the Commonwealth's

Watch the bales of over there was a situation coat-tails, cotton

into which proved Mr Nehru's lock rolling merrily |Britain from India duty-free of good faith towards the Com- while Mr. Nehru continues to monwealth, this is it.

I over, there was a moment make Lancashire's textile ports to India pay duty of 25 when he showed himself utterly percent. Taking India's exports unworthy to wit any longer at conference main as a whole tą Britain and the the Commonwealth

rest of the Commonwealth and table, it is now. New York try to bring the rival gongs to attling

grievances:

Empire, she enjoys tariff-free WHERE A hundred gether, W policemen failed, woft

Neither side feels sate entry or tariff preferences They achieved this by send-

turf about 2200 million worth of the members of the "walking through the drinks and potato crisps ing

gangs' neighbour-goods each year.. ал 1 free "Dragons"

motor (the other have

At home too she gets succulent in succeeded

coach trip while they induced hood.)

material ald and expertise from establishing a temporary the leaders of their enemies, the 2. Each side accuses the other her Commonwealth colleagues to Has this man hardened his truce in the teenage gang "Enchanters" to attend a mid- of planting "sples" In Its gang, prop up and expand her economy. heart for over peminat the rest

Look

at thist atomic reactor of the Commonwealth family? warfare that was terrorising night meeting with the promise

India's first-which went into Are there really” nò "circum "Hells Kitchen," the seamy of free cokes and potato crisps.

3. Neither sido likes the way.

two weeks ago,

Who stances, however grave, in which lower. East Side of New

the other gang "poks at their

the entfal enriched ho to reciprocata' York.

girls,"

uranium elements for it? Why the rich

generous loyalty Dozens of drinks and piles of

Britain

And who will finance it shows towards him? welfare workers arb The Appalled by the minings and crisps, disappeared in the three

of India's second the

11.005 chootings of the last month, hours before 3 a.m. when the anxious that there should be a

Under Colombo advice

the mid-19687 Pulice

Commissioner Stephen Enchanter" finally agreed to peace treaty at the first meet-reactor, planned to be reads by

rumblings Kennedy drifted a hundred vend, six tenders: to meet an ing. For there aro

number from the that two other gongs, the Plan a large the tendered to extra policemen into the area equal

bill will be £5,000,000

enothor point of crisis to in "Ambawadores and the

de coored by" at "

British history, philan with no other task then to keep "Dragons,"

Canada, "Diplomata" threaten trouble. the warring cydon

Now examine the reciprocal You have, aut here too botig tecrindary, d

Seventeen-year-old William

Volnaquer, still row They think they are losing aid that Mr Nehra extends to for any good you have been But welfare workery decided covering from a bullet wound, cote because of the attention the rest of the Commonwealth doing a Départ I May; and lab this could mean only a will lead the Enchanters" in being paid to the warring See what he does to champion have, dóna with. ( you temporary. Jull, sod? dockied to the fallcn' whichs//are? almed at "Enchan are" and "Dragoty."

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