POCKET CARTOON
by OSBERT LANCASTER
"By Jove, Mr. President,
1 bet Sir John Rothensteira envies You - not having
any pictures that even the Irish are likely to pinch
THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, MAY 19, 1956.
PARADE
JOOOOOOA
A COLUMN OF THE UNUSUAL 'ABOUT PEOPLE
AND PLACES AND THINGS
Colonel UP and Mr. DOWN
by Walter
was white hat at the official opening Stanley Roose Bucked into
GOOSE A wild JET
one
of of the
provincial
knows,
David replied that it had long now been his habit to take an even-
may be quite of causing come
Parliament capable
ing stroll the air intakes of a and, later at a reception given and equally unpleasant disease.
W.AC. Bennett, Canberra Jet bomber travelling by Premier
at 100 miles an hour on a take White feathered plumes spray- off run at an Australian Aired from her head like a suva Force station at Townsville, in sunburst. Queensland.
The engine cut out, and the Governor's plane swung round and plunged wearing contraband. Her into the awemp.
It wasn't seriously damaged. But airmen now ire automatic guns to scare other geese away before planes take dit.
were The eyebrows
raised even higher when Dr Stanley that he was trying Unknown to the Lieutenant- anounced
lady.
his was hard to find a "hool" for she
£he virus-to see what sort of din hat was made of egret feathers ease it would cause.
the Federal Migratory And
human pus-
When Dr Stanley's purposes Birds Act forbids session of any part of an egret, became a little clearer, the re- The penalty 13 $300 or mix notion changed to one of trunk months in guel.
wonder. Dr Stanley had, in fact, So tho Royal
Canadian succeed in making a virus out The Canadian Mounted Police did their duty, of protein and nucleic acid-twe CALLANT
But substances which are not, by MOUNTIES Mounties who They confiscated the hat.
get their they are not going to prosecule themselves, alive. always man-gured in a different srl Mrs Boas. Gallantly, they inter- of drama last week. Mrs Frank preted the law to mean that a
be expected Rusa,
Indy carmot Queen's wife of the
examine the feathers on her hat beautiful to determine whether they
from an egret.
| Lieutenant-Governor in British | Columbia,
изге
#
A British Crossword Puzzle
170
ACROSS
| Chinese labourer (0),
+ Sag (8).
? Disturbs (9).
8 Give off (G).
8 Loruilled (0).
11 Entice (7).
10 Demure (0).
13 Temporary rolled (7).
18 Munservant (5),
19 Peps up (8).
20 Lock of hair (5).
21 Sweltering (0).
20
121
1 Gross (5).
15
16
DOWN
2 Lissom (5).
3 Boy (7).
4 Wilderness (0).
5 Stubborn (8).
Obvious (d).
10 Determined (5).
12 Places of worship (7).
13 Insurrection (8).
14 Burles (0),
10 Evil spirt (5).
17 Irritable (5).
YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD.—Across: 1 Apes, 4 Singlet, 8 Calm 9 Altu, 10 Appears, 11 Rite, 12 Dope, 14 Entered, 17 Arose, 19 Dramu, 22 Prepare, 28 Elans, 27 Area, 28
2 Pallor, 3 29 Sack, 30 Echo, 31 Peasant, 32 Nets. Down Scores, 4 State, 5 Impend. 8 Geese, 7 Berie, 12 Damp, 13 Pose,
Approve,
13 Real, 10 Doan, 18 Craven, 20 Reason, 21 Mascot, 23 Rupee, 24 Pares, 25 Erect.
30
pre
مر الله
RED oler Popov,
hop- CLOWN Muscow Circus,
pens to be a clown- the top sown in fussin. But he could just be well have been a tight-rope walker, e slack-rope walker, a juggler or an acrobat, For Popov has got a "destree" In Call the subjects at Moscow's
circus school.
א 14
Jry
He never
traditional clown's make-up. But he made Bob Hope Laugh
so much Brussels thal the Amerkan comedian offered him a job on
he is TV programme-which rofused.
mude In Paris, Popov eveti White Russian cab drivers laugh when they took their children to the circus,
SAVING Car can be driven
without petrol 011 GAS
Jamaica's magnetic hili. Moborist claim that if a car is put in neutral gear with 40 the engine shut off it will
up the hill, either backwards or forwards, depending on which way the bonnet is pointing.
of of
A prominent resident, Mr Walter Fletcher, president the Montego Bay Chamber
It happened Commerce, awerm to him.
Now, curlou motoriste trying this petrol-saving dodge for themselves.
•
•
There is, to be sure, a raking argument da to whether viruses are really "alive." But they can reproduce their kind and "con- trol" the nature of future two generations and these are signs of life. (On the other side viruses tend, in some circum- stances, to become crystals and crystals are definitely alive. But theat is too cu}}- plicated a matter to detain us hera.)
Palm "People in snapped the policeman, walk, They have cars."
Beach,"
"don't
And he insisted on checking Creare identity before he let him go on with his walk.
•
•
STREET Col. Nesser's "Minis- try of Social Affairs" CARB
has buckled down to serious business in Egypt. Tho Ministry banned the wearing of pyjamas and nightshirts on the streets in Cairo Alexandria.
Elsewhere, a certain
and
amount
of sartorial deviationism will be tolerated for a time
tu- Furthermore, no more
Thai boushes are to be worn. kind of hat is regarded as a symbol of Turkish domination.
In the
FIREMEN'S Firemen not FIREARMS
Schaerbeek, have been told to turn in their guns, No one can remember why the
requiring Zuw
arvanns was pasted in the first place.nearly a century
Dr Stanley wants to find "host" so he can find out just how his new virus behaves.
That is very important: for I
Just possible that Dr Stanley Has uncovered Some uf - vereis of "ille."
•
the
SEBASTIANO
KISSED
A PRETTY GIRL...
'IT IS MY GRAVEST' CRIME, HE WROTE
George Malcolm Thomson on BOOKS
ingenious
minsters
fis Pecount of his perils may Edited by iiquaries, russia suburb of SEBASTIANO.
clocks, perpetual motion not be great literature, but it Wilfrid Blunt. James
Englishmen out- gives a diverting picture of tha machines,
300 Barrio: 25s. 296 pages. landish costumes; ready to be life of a tourist in Europe
years ago. shocked by mude pictures, EBASTIANO In French inns ho deplores LOCATELLI, a young the presence of tapestries of Italian priest, set out this sort-out une religious sub- TUNES OF GLORY. By jamos
jext! 11 seems that heretica At every local wedding, two fre- | in the year 1664 on a journey travel more than Catholics and Kennaway. Putnam;
"The town
13a. 6d. 200 pages.
The hremen, however, can
least one person; Bask of at
men present arms,
uspect
+
that they
•
Lasy-
pipers, in thes tartan,
theo
and round the
in a title,
council is paid seven shilings from Bologna to Paris and are able to insult any religious for the service. Now the remmen back again. With him, as picture they come upon.
won't be companions, went two young His troubles begin at Milan: THE lunes of glory are played
fellow
two countrymen who "1 sat next to Signora Lucretia by
and MARILYN'S Marilyn Monroe, wanted at weddings any more.
shared Sebastiano's tastes She kept me in a state of per- scurici ANSWER resting at home
Youth and fan- march round after leaving
When the Army but not, it seems, his in- petual torture.
y--oh, what cruel company!" ables in the mess. hospital, replied
to a proposel THE COOD
hibitions. Apprentices'
In Sebastiano's In France,
were the officers will rise; manners to nominate her Lord Rector of SOLDIER Glasgow University: Thanks.
School & Uniacke life, says Wilfrid Blunt, God easier than in Italy: the maid will begin; Highland the athletic, rowdy, male. fellas.
Barrucks, Harrogate, didn't go to college my-
women servanta nt inns greeted first *** came
und self and to
clected Lord bo
adopted
Harrogate by
his third interest guests with kisses, endearments Council
which were later added to the civic second; Town Rector of your university would
bill. really be something.
was his stomach. When
Royal hall the ceremony in their come to London maybe i wholl
Commanding Officer, He was highly susceptible to I don't for & moment waat Watch at Perth?) Colonci J. P. Came, V. C., told have a chance to visit you and And out just what being elected Lord Rector means."
•
men
A
DEADLIER Three Italian Asher- THAN....
caught female dolphin in their nots-and soon wished they hadn't. Before they could get her WES oul of the net their boat blacked
01
inale scores by dolphins and was almost cap- sized. They cut the dolphin free
and returned to port.
•
the
at A
Л
a
a story illustrating some of the qualities required by a soldier.
good
lie soci
pretty
of
some years ago
he 19,000 in girls), was in his garden dressed old clothes because ho was how to teaching his stepson climb a rope. Having climbed a tree he was tying the rope to
when a branch
smartly dressed soldier came along. Не looked up at the
and said: "What, tired of life?TM* Only then did
21
with a grin
tree
a to criticise foreign
os ice"
never
We ure in the depot Highland regiment (the
dancing dancing,
uncon
of a Black We are in face, as became
countries, the opening pages of a novel 赴 Bologna,
hol- especially France.' Bays Sebas for men only. native
"But perhaps it right tempered city famous for aus- tiano.
True, women appear in Kenn- ages, stabbings and a university be best if such customs were away's story, anxious and sub-
12,000 observed only by the French undergraduates.
themselves. Extreme familiarily ordinate figures an
vincing
A mistress,
slight readily provokes lust in Italians, daughter with a Highland name. and still more so in Spaniards But the action lles between men while Frenchmen remain cold and is concerned with matters But Sebastiano's virtue in
that only men, men of a certain ife is determined
to flamboyant temperament, think variably won. That is, at least, the story he tells in his diary, kiss a woman, a vow which he important: pride; prowess in which is copiously drawn on breaks only to salute a pretty drinking; war and love; regi- for Blunt's narrative.
Calvinist at Geneva who had mental tradition.
...i Blunt himself is a Hittle scep- worsted him in argument. "IL tical about these triumphs of is Lo gravest
crime I have he recognise Colonel Carne, his virtue. There are two manu- committed since leaving Italy." Palm
Offleet. Beach. Commanding
one, Contemptuous of the Calvinist Tem-scripts of the diary; in
Men like Colonel Jock Sin- Florida, a 24-year-
porarily confused, he apologised virtue triumpha more complete religion, he is fair enough clair, who came into the army
politely
then and
observe that "nowhere during moen
ly than in the other. volunteered to
better by way of Barlinale Gaol, and climb. the tree
Sebastiano is not another my journey did I meet
the band, who was a grand courteous and lend his CO a band.
people Boswell or Pepys. He is with bred or mone
fighting soldier in the desert adventures than at Geneva." "There," said Colonel Carne, out
his originality;
and in peace-Jock is still a Returning Are rather mile
10% length
good piper, passionately "you, have a good soldier, with turned nice manners, smartly
conven- Bologna, Sebastiano could concerned with the nuances of a lfo is a credulous,
himself on repl ser190 of tonal Italian of his time; ready gratulate
many pibroch. But he is drinking too out, with a
place's visited, and heavily: physically he is going willing to humour-and even
to be astonished by everything stronge
miracles. re- moral dangers overcome, he encounters;
battalion to seed and the
Until going to seed with him. help his CO to hang himself."
the War Office, in its wisdom, appoints one, Colonel Borrow, to take over.
•
SECRETS When Dr Wendell Stanley art- OF LIFE? M.
nounced ut week Cut he could "synthesise EVENING I viruses" in his laboratory at the STROLL okd Cambridge California Institute of Techno-
David Cragano logy, the first and most obvious graduate,
teaching school. reaction was a raised eyebrow himself a job
Last week, at p.m. on a fine evening. David décided--in true British fastian-to take a stroll along Ocean Drive
Why on earth should anyone want to manufacture a virus? Surely
have we
had enough polio, yellow lever and in- fluenza without inventing a new sort of virus which, for all Dr
VIGNETTES OF LIFE
YOU'RE
LUCKY
WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO FIX THAT
DRIP IN THE
KITCHEN SINK ?
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THE PLUMBER'S SPOUSE THINKS HE'S A DRIP - BUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD LADIES IMAGINE HE'S NOTHING LESS THAN A MECHANICAL GENIUS.
TO HAVE
SUCH
A CLEVER
MAN
| AROUND
THE HOUSE /
"MY ED CANT
EVEN OPEN A J
CAN OF
BEANS WITHOUT SPILLING 'EM
ALL OVER
THE PLACE /*
STRIKE
A police car pulled up beside asked the officer hum. "Why." suspiciously "ele you walking?"
Point Of View- The Plumber
“HERE'S THE PLUMBER HOW~~
HE CAME IN
A TRUCK!
THE CUSTOMERS THINK
HE'S A MILLIONAIRE
WHO PARKS HIS CHAUFFEUR DRIVEN
CONVERTIBLE AROUND THE CORNER
· AND WALKS
THE REST OF THE WAY,
COM, 1956 BY GENERAL FEATURES
CORP, TH.WORLD RIGHTS RESERVED.
WELL; THATS FINISHED!
"YOU MEAN YOU DON'T
HAVE TO GO BACK FOR ANYTHING?"
"DADDY, TELL
US WHAT YOU
DID TODAY
BY FARRY WEINERT
TO HIS KIDS HE'S A GREAT GUY————
SECRETLY WORKING ON A ROCKET SHIP TO THE MOON.
"THAT GUY COULDNT FIX A LEAK IN A TIM UMBRELLA!
"BUTCH STUFFED HIS İBULLDOZER. DOWN THE
DRAIN/
WITH CERTAIN
BUSINESS RIVALS IT'S JUST A CASE OF
PROFESSIONAL
JEALOUSY.
HOW DID JEVER GET INTO
THIS BUSINESS
to
to
con-
too
Barrow is a clever neurotic with, behind, him, a war spent in a Jap prison camp, and on unhappy marriage. Trying to pull the battalion together, he malcos mistakes (fussen much over the style of tha Highland dancing), but Jock makes one that could be fatal: he
strikes
11 corporal-piper whom he finds drinking with his daughter.
Yet, in the end (which comes far too hastily, with too little preparation) It is Barrow who breaks und Jock who wins. Barrow shoots himself. In a long last section, Jock designs for his rival a gorgeous military funeral, the obsequies of a field- marshal. It is a fine exercise in macabre ritual; every pipa note will sound
at the right moment.
But it scarcely consoles the reader who feels that he has boen chested of the essential conflict between the two men; that while Jock stands out coarse but complex, a bit of a rogue and a lot of a man, Barrow is never more than # shadow.
2
It looks as if James Kenna- way, in his first novel, hack found a good idea and got tired of It In his second, he should stay the course.
NO MAN SINGS, By Alexander Kristov. Long- manı. 13s. 6d. 296 pages.
(APPHO was a Greek poetess who lived 2,000 years ago. She was a married women with one daughter and 2 brother whose conduct gave her cause for anxiety. Her verses throb ffor, those who can read. Creek) with passionate affection tor various friends of her own ex
In Krilov's novel, Sappho oppenre as a rather tiresome, fresh-akgirl, · mtacular: ruddy-g career woman, without la career, moody and,” restless.
From time to time ahe, nckdresses)
Bow lines of verest to morras mentally deficient girl for whom she has formed an attachment.
But let nobody be worried. Few hints of passion disturb the gentle breezen of Krislov's story, (Everything in “hi” minded, with a tow blood p
would
HIS BOWLING BUDDIES SUSPECT HIS "OF HIDING IN THE PIT AND GIVING TH
"SQIGHT NUDGE WIN A MON
THE GENERAL PUBLIC NEVER EXPECT BRING ALL THE TOOLS REABEDS
FAND
"THINK
THE