1
POCKET CARTOON
by OSDERT LANCASTER
"Grant, O Allah, that
female emancipation be not
long delayed !"'
THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1955..
ROBERT PITMAN ON BOOKS
SHOCKING, THEY
A British Crossword Puzzle
$2
16
16
19
20
ZI
22
23
24
|26
ACROSS
3 Deblous (8).
8 Extreme fright (0).
9 Told (8).
11 Disclosed (8).
12 Colour
(4),
13 Drive back (8)
18 Challenged (5).
19 Eager (4)
22 Matured (8).
24 Place below water (8).
25 Hard coating (8).
20 Unwearying (8).
YESTERDAY A
25
DOWN
1 Tempest (5).
2 Ing for (1)
3 Gave (7),
4 Spoken (4).
A Poet
(4).
0 Useless (6).
7 Accunt book (8)
10 Allude to (5).
14 Journal (5).
15 Diminishes (7).
10 Hound (8).
20 For (5).
17 Warplane (8)
21 Grown up (5),
22 Dispose of (4)
23 Grows old (4).
CROSSWORT -A 1998: 2 Saumiges, 7. Tulip, it Amende Ing. 10 Medico, 13 Precede, 15 Lam 17 Erved, # Newnes, 20 12.0
Theme. 2 Kalarken Down; 1 21 Turcenis, 28 Rush, 21 Inspires, 2;
Space, oane. I tutter 6 Segged. 9 Modest, 11 Fred Stump, 2 te
11 leme 14 Eamire. 15 Level, 16 Mean
23 Exter, 24 Sheer 25 Tier
U ulice In Weasel, 22 Beats.
But would YOU be shocked by the girl
Mr. Maugham sent bathing?
A
Acone
#
T
CVVED
with
SAID
is awept up into an idyl romance,
PARADE
A COLUMN OF The unusual ABOUT
PEOPLE AND PLACES AND THINGS
Lut
NOISE American scientists say PERIL that excessive noise can
hair "aat people's fro; and they forecast chat if the clatter of cities like Now York and Loudon In- domaga, Temple .ower
10 do
Although the church was Ho pleaded for co-operation des.royeu Iti the blitz, the between the Health departments on towar #ill struc
d the factories. Pisa-ilke appearance has
Health and Yes, agreed the nothing
wiih war Welfare Committee, CO-OPETA- has tion is the thing. That should bein "leaning" since the 15th produce the best results, vortury,
Now Mr Parry is waiting to will the
creates much more then In- habitants will have to shave Laucir heads,
at
of
tho
A former worden at Temple Bee
years. Yet
which Aberdonians
the sixpences or
The so fcars were expressed church sald: "Experts have choose:
American Audio unLovered that Timple tower smell Conference in Now Icans oin.
further every 00 engineer York.
13 its foundation
Lavw is the tangio resolved?
Join Hilliard, prominent sun solid and there is no sign
engineer, of the tower collapsing." By
research Two convenient
sound eventa. Gerald is pucked off to America
explained that noise generalca heat and that enough by his family (we see the last of him at Euston). And Edward,
will burn off human liatr. riding to hounds, breaks his own neck.
We leave Bertha in the Inst chapter, burning his photo- graphs-all passion spent,
What is the reader to make of Mrs Craddock in 19557
now
I recommend the advice given by Mr Maughom himself, 81, in a sparkling now preface. in effoot he asks us to relish the book's absurdities. it as
period plecC. Shocking? Indecent? contrary, the elderly Maugham linds
proprioty painful,"
Propriety
urban district COUNCIL PROPRIETY? A
to trent
On the
*
nore PAINFUL Why so many quips
"Noise," he salt, "Arst of DECISION about Scottish tarift atwould be imputed all makis people tritable and to Aberdeen is dificult w) cis- dizzy. Then a feeling of tick-
cover. But it is said, for instance, new sets in If the rackot gets that the Highland Fung found his worse,
origin in an Aberdomum gun "As the Noise becomes his
desires to spend u half- inate in.cnie, it
10 penny- 15. In 5-10
Last week thrifty Aberdonians of And cause
to make anolar painiui hair on acclsion: Whether to endure an unendurable smell or control un industry bringing the sixpaces a-rolling in,
Jenu Finally
1 complete Icon
0.19 the
State
11
bearing and Bre,"
and hia Hilliard
fellow found scientis
already have that tho noise in the air-raid siren enclosure on top of the emplic "nimost
bullaing is sufficient to burn the fur eff a rat. But when hair is removed, the rat can stand the bo.ter.
New York's subway passengers have to put up with 10 TONS (wn measure of sound) when the train wheels sa tek going round a bend.
LADY with a past tobacco, of cattle, and horses")
almost faint has returned to the it sent her
passion. public lady with rich
But married life with Edward,
all for
its heady farmyard brown hair done in a bun,
odours, did not equal expecta- with olive skin and fuli red tons. tips, with leg-of-mutton
Admittedly he became a vast sleeves
a trim waist and
success with the local notabili- hooped in by whalebone ties who had once thought him corsets.
A shubby match for gentle- 1 refer to Bertha.
he woman Bertha, Admittedly became a J.P., chairman of heroine the the unhappy
glance we find that of Somerset Maugham's Nevertheless his recipe for home
was stickler novel, Mrs Craddock, now bliss
encouraging Maugham "Women отк like chicken, ennstity. again after al Give 'em a good run, properly published
Ila Bertha often joins teen- most 20 years out of print. ctured in with stout
ager Gerald in a tricky balanc- ing, and when they cluck and ing act on the brink of passion cackle just sit tight and take
"His hot breath made Bertha tremble
the kisses burned no notice").
themselves into her flesh"). But if they ever look like going too for, the primo
outher young
ANTARCTIC Major invariably arranged for a ward- oring footstep on the
DELIVERY stairs to haul them back into the safety Zone.
Mr Maugham was only 26 when, in 1900, he Arst packed Ave close-lined exercise books
tale with the sweet-bitter
of Bertha Craddock. But he had to wait two more years to see it accepted.
exercise
by publisher were sent back after publisher. Their unanimous verdiét......much too daring for print.
Boks B
At last he egreed to cut away jassages the strongly-flavoured (They can be found in full the
new edition) and Craddork Ally appeared the bookstalls.
In Mra
уть
What was so shocking about her story?
Elementary.
FIRST there was her marriage. In 1000 the heroine of any self-respecting novel might be expected to search delicately for a soul-male. But not Maugham's Bertha; she was not concerned Her with souls.
for marrying Edward Craddock, tenofil-farmer on her late papa's estate, were elementary in con- trunt.
reason
She trembled at the sight of breadth {his aplendid
of chest. As for the scent of his clothes ("mingled perfume of strong
• Heinemann (138 ).
VIGNETTES OF LIFE
MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND WOMEN'S HAYS ALLTHEY DO IS SIT THERE AND SAY--"PHOOEY" OR "TERRIBLE" OR "HOLÝ MACKERAL / "
"WAIT A MINUTE
REDUCED
FROM
*4
To
wan
not
wire-act-
Chopped down
DỨT when Bertha clucked
cackled he was not always prepared to take no notice.
she pleaded When
In hur favourite beech trees to be
spared, he had them promptly chopped down. He complained If she played foreign music 011 the piano,
If she read French prose ("I don't pretend to have read any French books, but I've never heard anybody deny that the great majority of them are Indecent")
second young for
As for Bertha's naked splash- off the Kent coast, they are no more erotic than that board-
ing-house pin-up. the modest lady in September Morn
to write
43 a
the
Mr Maugham's new preface Is kind to his youthful nove). but deals out a cruel caning to the youth who wrote it. It attacks his #yle ("No one had
hin ever explained to in retaliation Hertha took to mystertes of composition
child bleak he began solitary walks along the
begins
Ideas walk"); his to Kent собі. North
Once-1
("He was evidently not a Verk for pulse-shaking chapter this,
nice young man. He had absurd readers in 1902-she
the prejudices");
hia luck, of taken by the smoothness of the
po rlolim "He never missed a she stripped off sea that silks and whalebone and fro- chance to have a fung at his Jlcked in the water unseen and men countrymen"). unadorned.
was
her
Finally, on the personality of
But nudlam was not Bertha's smart young Willie Maugham. sule form of escape.
this crushing judgment is now Holidaying abroad
by she meets delivered'
Somerset W. Gerald, a boy of nineteen. Un- Maugham. O.M.
ke the saber Edward, Gerald- "He was not only a foolish curly-haired, green-eyed-has a young man; he was supercilious,
and often
wrong- background reeking of sin. Had cocksure,
hirr) been expelled
now i he rund
from headed, 1 I met
dis- of should take an immediate Rugby, from A succession crammers? Yel with Bertha he like to him.""
Shopping Together
ON RARE OCCASIONS
WHEN HUBBY
ACCOMPANIES HER |TO THE SUPER MARKET, HE GOES BERSERK THEREBY CONVINCING
THE NEIGHBORS THAT
SHE HAS BEEN STARVING HIM FOR WEEKS.
| THE SHOPPERS MAMBO — ONE STEP FORWARD
"AND TWO STEPS BACK..
COPK, HE BY. GENERAL FRATURES CORP, TMWORLD RIGHTS RESERVED.
SAVAILS
CAVIAR
IMPORTED
GRASS HOPPERS
TURN A MAN LOOSE IN A FANCY-FOOD
EMPORIUM ·
AND HE GETS EXOTIC IDEAS THE PERFUME
DEPARTMENT. HAS BEEN KNOWN A
·TO HAVE THE SAME EFFECT.
WON THE
LADIES.
Are
High wages and for- MORE
holidays WINE: eign
turning Britonsinio wine-bibbers. 100 Indaaura the people's thirst this year is
likely to be 12 million gallons of wine the biggest since the war. They will pay £18 million in taxes to Chancellor Buller Jer the pleasure, Nearly all is im- ported except Bemo country brows. like elderberry. lion or gooseberry.
Six years ago they drank less than eight million gallons.
danda-
The thirst today is not con- Ened to narrow sections of the community, as it was a century or so ago.
Then stout characters The problem was, of course, so
with ruby inces (whose cil- dificult that it had Aberdians painted portraits staro over a discussing it in groups and the thousand English dinner taules) Aberdeen Health and Welfare took pride in being singled out Committe meeting In con- as "Three (or Six) Batie Man." Even in rat war days laxaton was low, and a good bottle of claret côut only 23. Listy won- der that well-off Britons had a bottle on the table every night,
But now the taste i5 101 Bned to rich homes.
ference.
WLA
A bollie of wake, (costing be- tween us and a) suunas puide the beer ca the tables of even to enlive A quite poor Britons
R all started when astute bustnessmen
found that there wis much money to be nude in
sh meal and fish fertiliser. The raw material was avall
available of Eng- Other parts Il lakes only 140 decibels in plenty.
land Joyfully sent them all their to cause pain and it is as unwanted fish.
Fur townsfolk diclocis that Tut's fur (und
South of
of the Border actmed more man's hair) may
nbout presumably
concerned
getting rid of catch fire,
the smell..
Aberdeen's Industry prospered. Perhaps It was вот поп- George
Portuguese labels-even though Sassenacha from understanding uf Watson, 33
comunption South of the Border who com- REME, is with
there the Royal
bul complaints Society's Sciende plained,
its way to the
were that the air was not what It should be. Expedition on An arcile As Chief of the It is to be "weather party,"
They became so loud that the Sanary Inspector, Mr Chief
* jou of himself and eleven others to study weather and radlo conditions in the blinself.
tare.je.
the
H.B. Parry, sniffed the Bir
ho told the city's
Bluntly
authorities
more say
spree.
They are choosy ferring
French,
too, in pre- Spanish
or
of old Port, Lae clubman's irkuition drina, has fallen by a third since the war. Yo! wine drinking has not ree hed the peas on 1027, whe Britain
18 million consumed gations, or of kie years picturăm ing World War I. when
17 annual
million Agure of gallons was quite customary.
about matter. Aberdeen
CRAZE FOR To sal TRINKETS disposal
the becoming
With special instruments Health and Welfare Commitee
the Health that Resarch Station at Slough,
will should have he
the whole ecord the noise and force of thunder
was and lightning
8.CRIS to gauge the effects they have on radio transmissions.
D:fore Re salied. Major Watson said his children, aged
kept saying one to 10 ye to c Father
15 Daddy Christmas." So he promked to lellver personally to the old gon man the kiters they had written to him
•
LEANING Bristol has a lean- tower similor Ing TOWER
the
world-
Pisu structure.
to
famovG
the tower
of blitzed
church in
the cl y'a
Street. The
tower
of perpendicular.
sweeping nrm dealing
а
*salisty craze for old- fashiontd
cutre for a large part of the English Jewelery that coun Jy, And, ho added, in some,cases the material brought In to Aberdeen was, in his before it icft view, offensive
vie its source. If the practice was only echlinue not allowed to would the
elty have offensive mells but inillions of flics as well.
in antiquos sending BLores of བསལ་à, ཐ
Britain to buy
up any
they can fin
tha the
Ha men should have somo sort of control, he stressed. / As u long-term measure uftórica Is slamula
obsolete scrap contributed to the
oven
It is plant if Temple smell.
Victoria
is ft. out
But
cou!! even Mr Parry not press the matter too ferce-
Aberdeen.
ly 1
BY HARRY
"LOOK, YOU'RE NOT
BUYING A GIRDLE
OR A PAIR
OF SHOES /
WEINERT
WHEN SHE NEEDS A TWENTY POUND TURKEY SHE'LL ARGUE FOR HALF AN HOUR THAT A TEN POUND ONE IS PLENTY BIG ENOUGH.
I DON'T WANT
THAT TIE - I
DON'T WANT ANY TIE-IF I DO WANTA
TIE, I'LL PICK IT OUT ASELF /*
SWOON
SALE
WELL ANYWAY
HES GOOD FOR
Amaica, American
ard
to
pieces
declare
of Inginey
English jewellers
unique, panicularly Victorian
perlods, Bre fast becoming Olie of Bitain's MC62- 14 MA tant exports, This, they say, deums tui - back gut lor for ur heritaga
"The craze Is mostly among American -minded fashion women an, it is for the clase- fit ing gold bangles great-grandmothers
that cur
used
to
wear," said Mr Kichana Ogden, one of the West End's leading juweliers, today.
"They are also after gold from scals, the sort that hung
the Rescacy gaul.cmana wach pocket. The women want lo hang them from the bangles."
Mr
says Ogden
that the craze s.ar.ed In - America se ven years
and is now reaching its peak. The ag+(9 three
arive in batches every months.
DAILY There la a man
in
DOZEN Capetown who when he wakes up oach'day hummers (1.erally) himself into shape.
He L82-year-old Jacobus Christiana who said: "First. thing in the morning I tap mys-1 on the tummy with
This "
THIS"
hamuner
WEB
carpenter's which he brought down on his stomach with A
mighty swing
"It keeps me in the pink," he said.
He then
and
lowered his head
charged at a door and the frame hivered from the impact of his bullet head.
"I'm still tough," he said. Me Chrisuane, former. wrestler and strong-man, was. renowned in his young, days: for his tremendous fania of
trength
He apendis his time ·now- helding down reluctant animat patients at the Animal Welfare; Citata here..
•
CHARTER FOR A now deas MA-IN-LAW for mother- in-law is the alm of Britain's
National Marriage Guidance -Council. They want to take her out of the joke and, bogey class and
win recognition for her as the tolerant, experienced, friend of newlyweds, which she usually is, with a little understanding Lom the young people,
A. campaign has been started · by the Council to introduce pre- marriage courses for engaged couples
Inv
every town. and.. village in Britain. How to
on with the in-laws will special reference to mother-in- reirion to itself law--has a schalon
along with discussions on
and
Family
cha
house.
and all the problema
Uup: a home
Mir Alanı
Ingleby "EAL
to
Secretary of the Council, devote frail / his time to the
Lain'" that :: the traditions>
lopment of those part of grandparents. In) family lize); lengimportant.-9. Wih, family of four boys" he usra” "Grannies, make 125