POCKET CARTOON
by OSBERT LANCASTER
20
"No. 273,
General Sir Archibald'—why it's me!"
THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, MAY 22, 1954.
Such a Crowd of Relations! PARADE
QUEEN VICTORIA'S RELA- to "Grandmama Queen”—
TIONS. By Moriel Queen Victoria. Buchanan. Cassoll. 18. 243 pagos.
HEY were brilliant,
ethereal beings,
T
as
Misa Buchanan всев
Tho груд clan stretched glamorously from Windsor
Cantle to the Winter Palaco In St. Petersburg (snelling of suII- flower needs and leather; with
and scented fountains
inado- and the old quats plumbing),
acknowledged
Itx
NEW BOOKS
by GEORGE MALCOLM THOMSON
His upbringing had not been he of the gentlest. As a boy was believed to need "barden- ing," so a tutor used to fire pistols To her, the Tsarevitch came in the bedroom while he lay to annouter 2 engagement, sleeping. "I was thunderstruck," sald the
them, sometimes saintly Queen was (Grand Duchess Sergo), hend often unfortunate (Princess Alice), usually endowed with a beauty so unearthly that it could neither Queen, apparently unaware of Between Bertt (Edward VII)
liplomatic the tang described
negotia and Ferdinand, of Bulgaria, no in words
100% preceding this match. love was lost, especially after a transmitted to photographs: From her, came the judgments meeting at Marienbad when and they
were all related that pronounced nephew Bertie thought that Ferdinand
A British Crossword Puzzle
3
16
影
12 13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
121
22
23 24
26
28
29
30
33
ACROSS
3 At a distance (4),
7 Cluster (3)
8 Before long (4).
0 Girl (4).
10 Swells (7)
12 Excuse (4)
15 Saturates 151,
18 Requests (4)
10 Tendency (57.
الحمام
21 Confused light (5)
22 Search for (4)
23 Nude (5).
20 Expand (4).
20 Watered down (7).
30 Apartment (4).
31 Trick (4).
32 Make diflculties (5).
33 Numeral (4).
i
12
DOWN
Unombellished (5).
2 Deadlock (7).
25
4 Container for liquid (5).
Cirates (4)
6 Atude (4),
9 Meadows (4),
11 Symbol (5),
13 Vegetable (4)
14 Helps (41)
16 Harden (5).
17 Self-satisfied (4).
18. Besides (4).
20 Diminishes (7).
22 Pass over lightly (4).
24 Bedeck (5).
25 Stage show (5).
27 Put to flight (4). 28 Bird (4).
be nor
YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD,--Across: 1 Webbed, 7 Spin. Miser, 10 Visas, 11 Espy, 13 Relinquish, 15 Sai. 16 Leap, 19 Surrenders, 22 Sho, 24 Adept, 25 Taste, 26 Mien, 27 Ledger, Down: 2 Ensul, 3 Baron, Devonte, & Assessed, 0 Lisp. Pasha, 12 Yelper, 13 Muusles, 14 Inpudent, 17 Aside, 18 Brutal, 20 Noted, 21 Ensue, 23 Lakdi,
on
Germany WiBeim rof
head put.
nire, and Ferdinand strong and couale Ferdinand of thought that Dertle had taken Bulgaria "absurd."
more than his fair share of the creamed mushrooms,
INCIDENT
When the Grand Duchess of Hesse fell madly in love with Grand Duke Cyril
her and black horse lore a plece out of her husband's trousers, to her wast amusement. the heaviest burden of grief over the busi- nesa fell on the old Queen.
ot scenes
("
Ferdinand was one of the most remarkable of Queen Vic- turia's relations, He was fond and the study of of bracelets, butterflies; because he did not obilne on horseback, changed from a cavalry regiment to the Infantry,
"It was not really for per- sma) adortimert," Miss Buchanan explains, "that he had such liking for jewellery: It rather precious
8 very
stones
always carried bir pocket."
was for real love
He nearly few loose
Gorma
lines were twisted. The Corlton hundred ditchers, nobles and
with commoners,
champagne CERMANS
The gendarmo is given a huge Hotel burst into flames.
and heady oratory, halled their SAY: NO authorities have bundle of newspapers which he The House of Lords
opened veteran leader, Lord Halsbury; BULLFIGHTS frustratexi effats carries back Into the Vatican for its decisive debate ол August round the tables of the Cecil
to introduce Pope Pius XII who, at 78 is one thres Hotel. 9. With grouse-shooting
bull fighting into Germany is n of the world's most avid news- days off, there was not a mo- ment to spare.
+
privi-
sport. Recently German Alm paper roaders, Eyra during his Then there was the unknown
star Nall. Mistrad returned from recent grave illness from which alement, the unpredictable Madrid and suggested bull fights ho has now made a remarkable What was it all about?
"backwoodsmen," peore who In Germany. The iden caught on recovery, the Pope continued to The Lords, by their veto of
rarely emerged
their from
and arrangements were made to read the newspapers.
Confined the Liberal Budget, had pro rustic hiding-placea but would
Import prize bulls
well as as he is in a little world of his duced a situation in which the surely sally out to Westminster several popular Spanish matadors own, the Vatican City, the Popo Tories, when in office, could
to defend their ancient 1014
to give the sport a good send-off finds the world's press his only the rule the country through
leges]
In Germany. Finally a corpora- "window" on the world. Commons and, when in oppost- tion, could rule it through the Lorde, The Lords were there- fore invited to pass a Parlie- ment Blimiting their powers, (They were called "Mr Balfour's poodle" by Lloyd
because Balfour George
way lender of the Tory Opposition.)
A BLUFF?
What if they refused? Mr Asquith would ask King George
a few hundred to create peers, thus swamping the Tory opposition.
new
Sir
แต่
tion was formed to construct na
His papers include the Italian When Asquith rose to tell the
arena in Hamburg.
Commulit newspapers which are louse of Commons what steps
AL this point, however, the not normally sold at the St the Government meant to take
German Animal Protection Peter's kiosk, and A sporting made the amendments about
Entered the picture, dally, for the Pope follows in- by the Lords to the Parliament League
branded buli fighting as "bar ternational sporting eventa, He Bill, he was howled down,
At once admitted to some radio com- With glittering eyes, his wife berous" and "un-German."
this the Lower Saxony Interior mentators he even listened to tumult from the watched the Ladies Gallery, sent a note to Ministry intervened and outlawed football broadcasts. During the a claim that day the Pope receives a special- Edward Grey, Foreign bull fighting, with
"For God's sake, such sport matched
armed ly-comptied survey of the world's men against a defenceless beast" newspapers. and violatet urticle one of the As for the reading interesis of German animal protection law. the Pupe, they ore inite. Now other German states have Recently he was seen reading a bons and there German article on the possibility imposed similar is also trouble
from
new of space flight. Although he ex- quarter. The Spanish Ambassador pressed the desire to ty in a jet has registered #protest with plane (he last flew in 1937) he the German Government, accus- wasn't M sure about a trip to ing it of slandering Spanish the Moon. "sporting traditions."
Secretary, save him from the cats and the cada"
Grey did what he could. Mrs Asquith wrote in her diary, "As I pressed my Hips to his hand, his eyes were full of tears"
Back to the Lords went the Liberal Lord Morley, Or Bill
lender, mustered 88 supporters; but Ditcher Salisbury had 120
Rucsia at supper
Arlington House. The Dukes were pratic- ally solid againat surrender.
But would the Premier really ask and the King crente? was it all a monstrous bluft.
nor
Minister was anxious for mass-creation--the King,
Prime
this new
to his job, was being bombard. in ed with unfriendly anonymous But in Mr Asquith's
Jellers.
Through
Neither King misty Miss Buchanan splendour
h.r M1373- respretfully follows
und their princess shino swains Alice of Hesse cination, scintillating charm, grace of movement, etc.). Marle of Rumania who kisses Felix Yusopoľť
the cheek after which that young Russian wash his free ཏཱཾar{thr i⌘w5 !1t for a week.
on
+*
Yet it is not all bliss. Vicky's husband (Prussin) drives Alice's habana (esse) from his realm
(Wales) is hardly ark Bedie
Hoxt
to his sister Vicky civil Hime he visits Berlin.
SILENCE
Princess Stephane (Belgium) sits through awful meals, during wheth her father (Leopold II) says a word to his queen. Then Archduke Rudolf
Cheir
While travelling In Kenya, long after his ubdication, he arrived on the shores of Lake Victoria, Taking out of his a diamond order, he pocket pinned it to his coat.
This order,"
told hy
the pur, "was given me by my Here, cousin, Queen Victoria. on the shores of the like the bears her name, I wear i 145 memory of her greatness."
MR
BALFOUR FLEES
inst week when the city's
dairy farm closed and ils cows
THE
LOWING HERD.
A little bit of Old CLUB FOR
vanished Landon
"Topliners"
le
1
TALL Just PEOPLE
club for men
and
women average height. It
of
over
milk.
new nelther
vole
At 10.45 on August 10
Two was taken.
the noble
Phyllis was founded by Mrs were sent away to be sold.
Crone, of Skipton, Yorkshire, They were the only reminder with the object of helping those
which who can't of the 25,000 animals
large And clothes London once housed to help
Members it them. enough to supply its population with fresh of Topliners,"
bet who must gft. If they're men, and The "farm." a large, bright over 5ft 8in. It they're women, burn with thirty-six stalls, was want manufacturers to
over
make
Rults,
shoes,
mother
fords were intoxicated. One was in Stepney, not far from the longer dresses, coats, so bad that a peer with medical Tower of London. It was owned shirts, underwear, qualifications was summoned 10 by Mr David Carson, who went and beds.
Mr Balfour fled to Paris-to drawer was a list of 249 men to whom he was ready to offer Bad Gastein-rather than face coroneta. M. Barrie. Thomas unpleasantness worse than any
since Gilbert Murray, Bert- thing
he had been at Hardy,
Bailey, justly "complained of" at Eton rand Russell, Abe Tommy Lipton and the Lord 40 years before.
The Mayor of London.
lack creation would distinction or variety.
Passiona and the thermometer advanced. AL Tose a summer
Coronation the
Boli at Claridges, all were still friend ly enough, Mr Winston Churchill was in a red Venetian cloak and lobby. domino,
in the Speaker
won-with The Government Arab regalis, Mr Waldorf Astor
stor the help of 37 hedgers and in peer's robes and coronet bishops. BALFOUR'S POODLE. with 3 placard "One more By Roy Jenkins. Hoine- vienney.” For this levity he was rebuked in a letter to the mann. 21. 224 pages.
Times from "A Peer,"
to the Austrian throne) cons wooing-courteously leaving his
A in mistress Mitzi Kasper Busnel hotel.
"Ibe little Belgian," hu reported to his Imperiaj mama, "will do as well us another," and whiskeri the girl off to Schonbrun (1,84)
rooms, 140
kitchens),
The wife of the British Am- bassador found Stephanie "be- witching" Rudolf's relations thought she had the "dainless of a dragoon", Rudolf began to bulk of saleile.
VIGNETTES OF LIFE
"ANY OTHER TIME,
WILD HORSES COULDN'T
"SHE
BEAT ME TO IT L
A DRAG YOU
IN THERE'
"POP GAVE ME
A QUARTER. TO RESERVE IT
FOR HIM!“
"
"WHAT DOES THE WEKTHIER REPORT
SAY 7"
INTERMITTENT
SHOWERS WITH SQUALLS.
RAIN RAIN
*
++
LL through the phenomenal- Aly hot summer of 1911 the battle between the House Lords and Mr Asquith's Liberai Government--a conflict more crisply known as Peers versus People, was fought round the dining tables of the West End.
A course-by-courso account of the struggle (such as Boy Jenkins most competently sup- plles) shows that, as the climax approached. the temperature rose to 100 degrees in the shade at Greenwich, an unheard-ol event.
Roads melted. Railway
DO I HAVE TO GO OUT?
ITS POURING /
THE DOESN'T LIKE TO CARRY ANYTHING HEAVIER THAN A TUNE,
WEINE
"I WAS JUST LEAVING
TO GO TO
YOUR HOUSE.!
MARY, MARY QUITE CONTRARY:
TORIES JEER
full
to
10
see him. The patient shouted:
Take the-away; he wants get two guineas out of met" No hedger, he lurched Into
the
13
traffic outside to surprise ting larger shoes and stockings,
work there as a boy fifty Mr Crone, whose years ager.
camo from Ayrshire, started Sometimes the lowing of the her "tall campaign" In 1950. cows mingled with the roar of She concentrated first on get-
for women, then turned her attention
clothes extra-long for men and women.
too.
"
POPE'S
ot
"WINDOW"
were
sound of
It was
•
with such a passersby the countryside.
Mr Carson has But recently "Beaten by the bishops and been Anding it increasingly dif the rats," cried a hot-tempered ficult to find cowmen in the patrician. But beaten they were, middle of London's asphalt. The
Into the quiet There was nothing left save cost of foodstuffs, hay, roots and A-FEUDIN'
Belgian town of steadily AN' for Lady Halsbury to refuse to brewers'
grain,
Damme came shake hands with hedger Lord
rising.
A-FIGHTIN1 flock of bustling Lansdowne and for the 31 rats Then one day, Mr Carson de-
delectives-lu hunt (ox the in the Carlton cided to the Abbey, to be hissed On his way
to give it up.
missing works of the town. Lloyd George, Chancellor
cheaper, anyway, to buy milk in hall belt. of Club. the Exchequer, was jeered at The Globe newspaper hoped bulk from one of the big dis-
Wearily, they questioned the by Tories in the stands. Noble that "no honest man will take tributing combines.
townsmen-without success. robels gathered. lar Lansdowne any of them by the hand again,
Nor do they expect much House and Grosvenor House. that their friends will disown
The Pope and luck. The theft is part of an Alas, their counsels WETO them, their clubs expel them.
his newspapers elaborata feud between the town divided.
Within 24 hours, many ..
make e news in council and the provinciai ›govųę their lordships left the sirleken Rome, where every morning at ernment. There
Die-hards (or Beld for the grousemoors. It 7.30 a uniformed gendarme It started when the govern- ditchers) and compromisers (or had been, as a great Duke said leaves the Vatican City, crosses ment overruled the council and hedgers), including weaklings of a greater battle, the nearest | the spacknuta, cobbled St appointed a mayor who
The who actually contemplated 1 run thing you
ever Bow In Peter's Square to a small news- wanly minority support. reform of the Lordst Six your life.
stand to collect the Pope's paper, coaneli retallated by passing
series of ham-stringing bylaws.
They turned out the lights, cut. off the bus service and ordered cafes to close at 8 8 p.m.
The government then pended the couvell and appoint- ed a commissioner to govern. Next day, the hands from the
clock town hall
disappeared, When they were returned, thé bell works were lifted.
J
were
Showers And Plain Rain
"I'M SORRY, DEAR-BUT YOU KNEW I WAS GIVING
SUE A KITCHEN SHOWER
TONIGHT/"
ITS AMAZING
THE KIND OF SHOWERS
A MAN CAN RUN INTO.
COPR, 1984 BY GENERAL FEATRIRES CORP. THE WORLD RIGHTS RESERVED.
"IT'S BAD ENOUGH
FORGETTING YOUR UMBRELLA--- BUT DID YOU HAVE TO FORGET THE KEYS TOO ? +
"MAY I HELP
YOU SIR 7
BY HARRY
WEINERT
"OK, OK, SO 14
ALL WET/
ALL IT TAKES IS A
SLIGHT PRECIPITATION
TO PRECIPITATE
A DOMESTIC STORM
释
GOOD NIGHT----
IT'S BEEN A
LOVELY
EVENING!
NO THANK YOU-
I JUST DROPPED INTO GET OUT OF THE RAIN L.
PAINLESS EXTRACTION
*
had
sus-
To toothache sufferers the ne wis was
consoling under the", watchful eye of 300 dentists, pretty red- hatred Janice Easton, a 23-year- old nurse from London ini a wisdom tooth extracted under
hypnosis painlessly unt. The
The event is no extraction
Weg
at the
done British Dental Association mbet- Ing in Blackpool to demonstrate an operation under hypnosis. It took 15 minutes to complete, from the moment sho closed her eyes until the awoke,
And Janice, smoking cigarette five minutes later, com- mented: "There was no pain at all. It was like coming out of a relaxing sleep,"
•
Plump,
FISH FROM
wrig THE SKY pling, trout
rained from the
skies on the startled townsfolk of Pontechianiale, North Italy, Last week. Trout. In their thou- sands tumbled on the roof tops, swept down the guttar, hit passersby on the heads.
The reason: workmen cleaning the 5,000-foot high lake of Mad- dalena accidentally
dam sluices,
Watered the
down onto the town
swirled
below
crying with it the lake's rich alook of broad trout, worth £18,000. The force of the water. hitting the streets hurlied, the Uvq fish into the air.
·
HOW TO A · hobbyist ́(89- PLAY?
-old Mr
Capetown)!
year
Samuel Harris of me made what lib calms to be the world's smallest. draughts bbard. It is the size of a full-stop-which is smaller than o pin's head. Harris used a microscope work on the board and put the finishing touches to it with La dog's hair, attached to a' mection)- col finger. Ha next... taak? to malce a set of draughtsmen,
to
BEACH
if Belgian youth CHURCH Inst on spending their Sunday", TRDETS= ings on the beach. Instead of in church, the church will follow
Belgian ecclesiastical thorities have decided: închise kn opensairy alturat "Braden mouri Ostendi: a Layout age'baŭnt.