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FILLS
THE CHINA MAIL WEDNESDAY,
RIL 21, 1954:
"Yes, I know-and I'm STILL butting my plants in."
THE BECAME
COMMONWEALTH'S
-London Express Service)
TOUR THAT A TRIUMPH
vital need is a united By James Wickender
spirit. In other times this unity was sought in sym- bols like the Roman eagle
or
ideas such as liberty. But all were too imperious or impersonal to arouse en- during loyalty.
"Did you here who's coming
in town today.
Wid a hip-hoorny for de ·
Gracious Queen... From London, de heart o de
Briton Empire,
Hip-hooray for de Gracious
Queen from over de Ocean to sunny Jamaica."
rea!
by who serenaded notables dawn with nose dutes.
the
minutes of wild applause. So with her visit to 55 places in little over five weeks she was seen by two out of every thres people in the Dominion.
wero
NATHANIEL GUBBINS
meetings have been reveal harms
UDDENLY, like 8 run awdy with The Widow.'
Even now I can remember. searchlight across a dark sea, the goings your first description of me as "a small, dark man, smelling on at council faintly of brimstone, with
through bowler
hat"
Of course,
Vou couldn't SCO THU tail becaure
the
ed to a dazed public.
At a gathering of Man- of my well-cut trousera. chester City councillors to end tall have caused mo acute As a matter of fact my horns discuss the purchase of embarrassment throughout Henry Moore's bronze figure centuries. I
I remember, wh
when I "Draped Torso" for £760 was one of your more unpleas to Mr W. Binns, deputy chair- sunt monarchs, that 1 had
wear my crown
in 4, to hide Committee, said the figure oms from the archbishop. was a lovely piece of work Luckily the long robes, and suggested that those worn by royalty, hid my tail.
of your earlier aguinst the purchase read
coronations,
when I had beers illustrated newspapers and coron looked at pictures of thing beastly. my horns went Marilyn Monroe.
clean through the velvet top of my corone
'coronet, causing a great After which Mr H. Stock- deal of whispered comnment at
man of the Art Galleries even sleep in alt day, and
dale, a butcher, said:
At
my
chen
made 4 peer for doing some
The ceremony.
Later fashions have miade
What exactly did Mr Stock- er trousers. dole mean by "draped and un- - draped torsus round the council to the poor material chamber"? Or, to put it oven
if there is not enough room in more bluntly, what did he mean the seat, quite apart from fact that concealment is by "undraped torsos"?
easy unless you wear ah extra long jacket,
"I onc jooks round this things even more dificult for council chamber опе can find examples
me, particularly as top hats dre of torson, either
at wed- draped or undraped, which 10 WOTя now except
I am alre have more to recommend them dings and at Ascot.
Father handicapped by cha than this particular one."
modern trend towards narroID=
The sharp end of a tail can do a lot of damage of today
According to my dictionary "draped" means "dressed" and "undraped" means "undressed." A torso is the trunk, or upper half of the human body.
Aa Mr
to
to
Stockdale's remarke cannot (we hope) refor women
councillors are we assume that some of the men sit round the table naked to the waist like Garth, the muscle- bound
tease of the strip car toon? Or, as Hehry Moore's bronze is a female torso, Was Mr Stockdale paying a delicate compliment to lovely women councillors whose charms aro obvious even though draped?
the nož
As I hope I have said enough to convince Mr Graham of the reality of my physical, diead- I conclude with vantages may a word of advice?
Mr Graham is warting hta time in England, If he wants a fight with me he had better come back to America Defore The Widow and I finally con vince Joe McCarthy that ha was born to be dictator of the,
world
Ever yours,
MEPHY. Į
Even if Mr Stockdule didn't Man In A Pub
OF
mean quite what he said, was referring to statues in the
the remarks so cut a long story short," council chamber,
fabulous pienie with $,000 guests--before them 1,000 roust
Then the South Seas bc pigs and 3.000 fowls to
They had been a eaten with fingers only. When left behind. she finally retired, the Queen's Aung prelude to the ellmax looking at pletures of Marilyn
Monroe are disquieting. 150 Australia-nearly the size of the guarded Was
U.S.A., with a great future in
Up till now I have always night.
thought of councillors as grave, middle - aged, public - spirited Where they failed the
of Island hos-
The most stupendous hall
men Irrevocably, even hope. British Crown, personified
the Gothic, at
lessly, married to tired, middle- the many Impressive pitality, the Queen went to the all burst Elizabeth, may in Queen
Five hundred yachts Sydney. first prosperous Dominion
aged women and talking earn- of New converged in feathery trails on succeed. Today the Crown "Aaah" of the crowd as the Zealand
estly to each other abou! rates where the scale of the white ship in the great bay. and drains. atands above events and yet Queen stepped out in silvery events Was larger. But still and under the swoop of Jel touches deep personal be- blue;
the emotions of ordinary people âghters the liefs.
were paramount.
many across
In
moments there Was the
the after dinner with bonfires lighting
Sir hilltops and the impuls(ve Walter Raleigh act of The
drive
PRECEDENT
From tropical
an
on
the Queen stepped ashore at Form Cove, where the first Governor-General of New South Wales had landed in 1788.
CONTRASTS
The Royal Tour has ul- middle-aged negro in laying The Maoris met her at ready drawn unrivalled down his coat. None was more Rotorua, American style
nostalgic than the parade oddly
town of broad streets pervaded dif- of white, coloured and Chinese with response from
the smell of sulphur ferent peoples
the children singing "Greensleeves"
springs. Here' the assembled earth. It will leave echoes as the Queen drove round in a
thousands were lifted to poetic Land Rover, to reverberate for years in
heights by the words of homage. THERE the procession became the affairs of varied coun-
disorganised but triumphant. stranger "Welcome O
from
Through nine miles of the hot tries, giving them a sense
beyond the horizon; the great canyon-like streets of booming of purpose beyond their
white heron of a single dight..." Sydney, the Royal car jostled
through yelling party wrangles.
HE
There was a
hush of showers of streamers. Jamaica after setting a pre- uncertainty as the Queen was This high issue has been
She did not just hold offered the cloak of chieftaincy, cedent.
From that Arst day Australia enshrined in many unpre- the first investiture in the West She accepted, and the roar could hardly
Itself. restrain cedented ceremonies per- Indics: sho aroused feelings sprang out, spontaneous and Wherever the Queen and the formed by the Queen in rarely expressed.
startling. Again there was the Duke wont in the 14.500 miles reminder of the varloty of they covered in the month, the opening of Parliaments
Perhaps those Jamaican races in the Commonwealth. they were sought out, and Councils but most cheers could have been expect- of all in the spontaneous, ed, but who could hava foretold almost wild, enthusiasm of the ordinary folk.
They seemed to feel uplift in this troubled world when the Queen arrived. Their excitement was not irrelevant to the occasion, but part of it; their feelings were genuine,
PARADISE
SH
sailed
fantastic Panama's welcome?
away
wildness
from
of
cor:
There was the mammoth recep-
WES т
tense
EXCITEMENT
There
crowds and
*
Now I shall think of them as half-naked sex maniacs leer- Ing ut plctures of Marilyn Monroe, winking at women councillors and writing "I love Councillor Mrs Whatnot" on the walls of the council chamber.
The Awful Child: Did the half-naked sex maniac marry Councillor Mrs Whatnot?
They were
both married already. "What happened then?
He took her to the pictures. With the money you pay for the
rates?
No.
at the clock "I was looking over the bar and the time was exactly twenty past twelve. Or was it twenty-five post?"
i said I didn't know.
"No, I'm a llar," said The and Man, "It was just on five twenty to because I told myself I'd got about ten minutes to have the other half before I toddled when who off home to lunch, should come la but old Henry, You remember old Henry, of course?"
I said I had never heard of -- old Henry,
sald "Get along with you," The Man, “Öld Henry's the one who had half his inside taken out and put back again just before
Christmas, and Just he had bought the big+ when
gest turkey since the war. And funnily enough his wife got the flu on Christmas Eve, ond as his daughter and son-in-law wero down with the mumps there was nobody to dinner, 80 old Henry had to give the turkey to the Old Folk's Home, which nearly broke his heart as he's never given anything away in his life before, and has never been the same man
since ot, In a way he reminds me of
my
He could take her to the pic
tures every night for ten yeurs on that.
Did he buy her a
chocolates, too? Naturally.
box
:
As he was spending your money
expect it was a big box? Enormous.
Hard or soft centres?
Did they hold hands? Why not?
And
talk about drains? Their mouths were too full to
talk. Were they munching all the
time?
When
poor old Uncle POTE
became
Uncle poor old
Decun a widower grown-up children, all
with
slx
married
with grandchildren coming along, he was so mean that he throw his address boole and left the country rather than give them all birthday presents. Let me see, that was in 1927., Or was it 19287"
Was even the ex- traordinary scene
at Manly when three
one actors, woman, came out of a stage door
In Elizabethan costume. Cristobal, Colon, Panama City ROM then on, the tide 2n
CX Immediately the cry went up: crowded her
clicment swept south. There There she is In the mnd and Balboa
Both. check at the sadness of rush the unsuspecting players children were brushed off like beetles by harassed detectives, the Tangiwai rail disaster on just managed to scuttle inside
Eve. But it was again and bolt the door. At Colon her car hardly moved Christmas for 40 minutes, and the cheers partially offset by the Royal remained deafening throughout, and never felt so closely before. found
sympathy which New Zealand Across the vast country they the wide contrasts of
I said I had no idea. Australia-the uninhibited, al-
"No. I'm a liar," sald The tion (outshining the fantasite Then at every stop the same most rowdy New South
Mon."It was in 1929 because parties given since the war in scones repeated
themselves, Wales with English countryside;
he arrived in 'America' just In Paris and the Riviera) where Each little town had prepared prim Canberra; the lazy tropical
time for the depression when plump President Jose Antonia for months, and from the sur
everybody was ruined and be Remon danced with the Queen rounding country..of rich farm. expanse of Queensland; and the They
had plenty of the ready in Engleh banks. Naturally, with IT began when the blue You" and popping corks. to swell the crowds under the.
all that money he was quite and white Canopus swept
catch and it wasn't long before out of the sky to land at nesta spirit could combine with
Here it seemed true that the street shops.
an American widow hooked Bermuda.
him. But he didn't know, until So sedate and the great occasion. Even the The Royal ear.rolled in, they
after they were married that proper in the sub-tropical hysterical girls, the straw took their first glimpse of the
she had six younger brothers millionaires paradise that hatted in thousands and the Queen, paused with indrawn VERYWHERE there was the
and sisters and six cousins who a Bermudan Council speaker white egrets flying round the breath, then cheered. Always ammo uproarious reception
ALTHOUGH M am rather all had birthdays nicely spaced fountains seemed only to the excitement was fresh as if from lean, sunburnt people who busy at the moment work throughout the year, so that had suggested cheer lend- broaden and bring alive $15.00 ars to pep up the applause, genuine royal greeting.
25.00 | It was unnecessary advice.
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From the moment the Queen atepped out in a beanie
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10.50
...
to the sound of "Embraceable lands horsemen came riding in
RITUAL
ins of the single-storey main
endless wind-blown red desert to Perth.
INFLUENCE
In
Australia,
Until Mr Whatnot came in. What happened then?
both swallowed hard centres whole, choked, went out.
Lucifer's Letter
DEAR MR GUBBINS,
through the. ritual; the whale the allance of the ceremony, interest' found something now: fr. According
bo
and
Mr.
Men, M
regularly
such a thing had never happen have shaped a life of their owning hard on Senator Joe Me poor old Uncle George had to ed before. It would be hard to
Carthy, my most adaptable fork out for a And the high spot of New Zea-
After a little land's honours.
The Duke of Edinburgh began pupil since the death of Adolf every month. to play an increasingly signifi-ifler, I have found time to while he got properly cheesed nolice that Mr Billy Graham, off with that lark, left this He
the Perhaps it was when the cant role
ex mentioned
American hot gospeller, second wife flat and went on on Anzac Day to Queen of New Zealand walked spoke
me in his address, to Bouth Afrien, Or was If Naw 10.50 hibiscus,
abinet, 2,500 and THEN to Fiji-and the honour slowly in her Coronation gown service men, the first added.
the
children'
ho had answared, to an audience at Harringay," Zealand?" of a reception in silence, and diamond tiara, to open her welcome cheared reception party
4. Struggling hard
Parliament in Wellington.
Often,
kept the schedule London, to contain
Only
his when
scientine
to a report
I said I wouldn't know. themselves, 5.00 they were hoarse.
the Fijians went her fow simple words broke waliing
suld that
people
I'm a liar,” said The picture me க. 4.00
"It was Auriralla because foollan She drove along spray-swept tooth gifts, the little girls For the first time, New Zen Woomera greeted him
grotesque creature with horns I remember now that 5.00 coast roads, read an address in presenting
and the bouquet (then land's Parliament was opened Atling guest.
Joeys had long tall, though, in George's brother, 5.00 | the pipe-panelled House of abruptly sitting down), and the by a sovereign and precedent
livelier Meko dance preceded was established.
In the same way that the rail fact I am a person of great migrated to Australia, when he 1.00 Assembly, and attended a man- by a grant and three claps.
had thrown an
"a" mighty oified was young mangsa käsi.“ had dimater
unintelligence,
spirit of infinite
andraleed 10.00 down garden party. “After
Or there were the losser expected strain on the New
site, resourceful. married
Kad family there." So, when noarly three-and-a-half
As in Bermuda and Jamales, moments such as the whists Zeeland visit, Australia had turion without sight of their the Queen sent through the stop at Waipawa: The mayor own misfortune in the West. While thanking My Graham Georgs arrived he
Loomed - ur- the rich, tiible I would! _erland, Band 24.00 Sovereign, "Bermudania in umunī Programme of attending had pleaded for his town to be const's pollo epidemic) But for the compliments
brother's childr 15.00 thousands showed that loyalty the Leave Council holde included in the four and, hoping here: again the queen showed also like to sek him if his
children, and, his had
Wingman investiture and visiting for last minute change, had reserved of tact which endothed marica infer thasë: I am not not dimmed,
bool But, when Tough was rolled out the red carpet and away all dimoulber, CAN PUR
person with horna and s It was the same at Jamaica, reached, Queen Balote Monty brought in the sheep is crop In the earthquake island of the omela reques was for the mouth, the frame of t
18.00
... Spanish Main, albe of the pirate Queeny to come to a "chures the station. XT 60
SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST. LTD.
HOWLOON
ir of Port Royal"too wicked · service,
to survive the calypso, picked
UP wyrywhere from the radio Otherwis
her
the
Uncle