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THE "WHITE HOUSE??

O

IN

42ND STREET

may

By Edwin Roth

they are personal. friends

of

the General and want to see him. I tell them to write in for an appointment. And, of

NE of the most im- portant places in the world just now is the sixth floor of the

take a brief rest during As the elephant is the symbol course, there are the cranks and Commodore Hotel in New the day. Fresh flowers are kept of the Republican Party, the corentries, the people with York's glittering 42nd In Yascs around the rooms, hundred of well-wishers have divine messages and plans to Street,

Through the windows comes, the sent elephants. Ike now pos- save the world. which they muffled noise of the trame be sesses the world's biggest must tell the General himself. Jow.

elephant collection; It includes If they refuse to go, the polles- The White House 迅

elephants of all sizes and every man quietly escorts them out," Washington? At present Immediately after his arrival, possible material from ex- that's only a building where he holds conference with quisite tiny models carved of

While we were talking, a fat Sherman Adams, his "chled of white ivory to

black blondo In her late forties walle large bags are being packed, and star and other top aides. ebony tuskers.

ed up to the barrier rooms are being prepared Then the visitors begin to

hat. Sho enormous "We are very happy that no nounced that for the incoming tenants. arrive. Every day, the General

she had a live elephant ker whole

In show statesmen, foreign

one Scaret there without an O.K. from editors,

Service business, and insisted that a Industrial leaders, agent told me. "But wo hail sultable job could be found for 42nd Street. For the real bankers, various celebrities and not be surprised if one is do her In Washington. Her de White House the true personal friends,

ilvered here any day."

mand to see the General was not granted.

Q

SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST Nothing is being decided receives senators, congressmen, one has sent

newspaper yet,*

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REMAINDER

OF GARDENING BOOKS

Together with

6

PACKETS OF SEEDS

6

TWO DOLLARS EACH

STILL TIME TO PLANT FOR PRESENT SEASON-

S. C. M. POST:

HONGKONG

KOWLOON

and at KELLY AND WALSH LTD., Chater Road and BETTER HOMES & GARDENS, 19, Chungking Arcado."

centre of American power, is right here in New York.

They Jump

Three gifts gavo Ike special pleasure: a fruitcake In the shape of a dog baked by a lilio girl; three pairs of rod stockings knitted by an old lady Eisenhower grand-

This sixth floor is B human beehive, with all the TN a drawer of his desk he

keeps his green-toy-grasshop--for tho frenzy of American politics

pers. These mischievous little children. with the children's in action and history in the insects, now famous as "Elsen name embroiderod on them: making. In fifty-four rooms hoppers," are placed by him and a carved wooden Madonna on both sides of the long, before unsuspecting collere, from the Bavarian passion play red-carpeted corridor, 126 After a while, the spring is re- village, Oberammergau,

leceed and the "Elsenhopper" assistants, assistants' as jumps into the air. Britain's Air sistunts, experts, aides, Marshal Lord Tedder, who was secretaries and typiste hold Ike's second-in-command during endless conferences,

the

war, jumped to the draw Elsenhopper

when the trick

An

beneath

-

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

U

NLIKE other publica- It you have made mistakes in tions offering now and the past, resolve ever to make another. If you are frequently startling features for late at the office, ask yourself if 1958, the column offers you these extra minutes in bed ara nothing at all.

worth black jooks manager.

There will be no new foam tures, unless it happens to think: of one by accident,

There will be no special articles by best-selling authors, unler you count Lottie the Devil Cat Further instalments

of "My, Real Self," her

memoirs of life with Manhattan Mouser, the Don Juan of Broad way, may appear when they have been cleaned up and made fit for publication,

There wil ko

no competi- tions, nothing about sport, no children's features, and no en- tertainment of any kind, unless you count cour commentary on world events as entertainment.

What's more, it doesn't care If it gets another reader or not.

It is quite satisfied with, the three it has now, including the one who borrows the paper from a friend and sends It

abusive letter in an Un- stamped envelope every week.

an

from the

If you

are a clock-watcher, stay at your desk that extra half hour, even if it means missing your train and getting black looks from your wife,

If you must have black looks from somebody, it is bolter to have them from your wife, first because you would probably get them in any case, and second because she can't fire you.

this year Make a resolution not to envy the manager

bo- he has

an expensively" coure furnished room at the office, pretty secretary, a big car and

Re a house in the country.

that he became member

diligence, manager by

per severance, punctuality, by being first in the office and last out.

You too, can do all thesd things; and when you have done them what is the differenes between you and the manager, "- except that he has brains?

Be patient

endeavour

in

your tong

To reach the heights, to

touch the aku

Were you a clam?. Tis not for all to get promo-

CCORDING to Time Maga- zine, an American, Ronald Hubbard, with a self-awarded

degree of "Dr Sen." (Doctor of Scientology), has discoverod that we are all at least trillion years old.

not

Alun But even a fool like you can

try.

And don't forget your mor“. ing exercises. -

World strategists

war to

He come to this conclusion you still think the

after a New Year party, Y Korea will be over in 1953,

when

some of us feel twice that age, but after experiments with an Electropsychrometer, or "E" meter.

The "E" meter resembles lle detector. The patient holds electrodes in his hands while dial needle records changes in current when he tells the doctor about deeply disturbing events of the past.

*

old men?

That's what I said, old inan. !

By peace negotiations, or an all out offensive, old man?

By an all out offensive, old man,

You'rd All right, old man. the commander-in-chief of the United Nailons forces. Carry on, old man..

With how many divisions, old,

Well, first of all I'd strike with everything I'd got all along the line. Up to a month or two ago Dr Hubbard could take his patients back only to pro-natal

mont

It depends on the length of experiences. Going beyond the fine, old man.

J Say what you like, old man. You're the boss.

these he then discoverest, that Any child with a map would we are reincarnations of people know the length of the line, old who had a a series of terrible man. It's for the C.-in-C. to lves on earth. He is now con- say how many troops he wants. vinced that most of us had spw.t

Shall we say 20 divisions, old pretty awful time on Venus or man? Mars millions of years before we arrived here as clams and birda in pre-historic days.

All right, old man, Twenty As the years rolled by, you divisions, Then I would strike may have died 10,000 Umes maltaneously behind their Una and become in turn a sea ser on the cast and west coasts with pent, a horse, an ape, a man or sca-borne landing forces. woman, a king or queen,

Didn't you say you were going slove, a politician,

hit .them pol to

with everything man ย bearded

lady in 2 Doll've got in a frontal attack, circus, a-hangman, derer or a leader writer until Quite correct, old man reborn once more, as the

Well, old man, if you're hit- puzzled,

frustrated,

with worried ting

everything creature you are today, full you've got in one place what of subconscious, unmentionable have you got to hit them with memories.

in two ather places at the same Ulme?

True Patriot

other day, an elderly gentleman arrived and of- fered, very seriously, to join the Cabinet. As a true patriot, be dollar a year only avanted one for his survices, and was pro- pored to accept uny Cabinet post Ike would give him. Ho

None May Pass pointed out, though, that he had

made special study of foreign affairs, and felt he was best

up documents, write letters. was played on him-so they A WOODEN barrier across the ulted to be Secretary of State.

for

crowded corridor divides

*

Was once a

· man? -

them

I suppose you mut have heard of the Marines, old 'man?

not

called trick tomed to being

This is not only a warning to Of course, old man. But if hunting people who may be you're going to use. Marines Ba come homOS ON foxeo when woll, it would have been morg Telephones ring, type- say.

Every day, some very or- the General's rooms from the dinary Americans take the clo

they're born again, but a word honest if you had mentioned writers rattle. A thick

Usually there are guests rest of the floor. It is guarded vator up to the sixth floor. They has

of explanation to anybody who them at the start. haze of tobacco smoke hangs lunch. This, like all meals for by Secret Service agents and sit quietly and patiently, ano-

a fear of failing and. Are you suggesting I'm not. uniformed policeman. Nong times for hours, among the

toothache at in the air, cigarette butts the General, is prepared in the

the same time.

honest, old man? Such a person.

Not at all, old man, and used flash-bulbs litter hotel kitchen under Secret Ser- may pass this barrier without hurrying officials, hoping to get

But clam picked up by a bird and bringing the Marines in at the o look at the now President. the

vice supervision, and served by special permission. rooms, microphone picked walters,

dropped on a rock to break its last minute seems a bit tricky. cables coil on the carpots.

At the barrier sits attractive A few days ago, as Elsen- | jaw.

I'm Meanwhile, mail is pouring in 23-year-old Mary Keodick, the hower walked to the elevatos The bird is probably a dentist at the rate of 3,000 letters and General's receptionist. She is shortly after six in the evening, pow, doing much the

good wishes, as well as free all the answers. parcels a day. It brings bags loaded with fact, and knows surrounded by his phalanx of thing.

17- As she has bodyguards, he noticed advice from all over the world, been with Ike since the begin-year-old boy and a 15-year-old applications for jobs, poerns, ning of his election campaign, girl. They had THE whole set-up costs some con

keen walung abuse, spiritualist com- she has gathered a lot of in- for him sinco the early after- $25,000 a week. As the Con- munications from George Wash-perience for the job she will do noon. He stopped, anh em

United States Ington and others in the Great at the White House.

ed them their names and home makes no provision for a Pre- Beyond, and direct "messages A lot of people come here, and he looked rather solemn.

town. Then his smile faded, sident-elect, all expenses are from Heaven."

and for all sorts of reasons,"

Waited To Pay

stitution of the

Tonic, talk

ERTU

tricky, old man, Nobody was calling you tricky, old man.

In that case I must be getting deaf, old man. I rather hoped this was going to be a friendly drgument,

But as it

So did I, old man,

TUE Now Year, like a new an't, perhaps we'd better drop

diary, lies before you clean soi umarked. It is up to you

man, whether a new achievement,

R.

All right, old night, old man,

Good

each,

Good night, old man.

***-{London Express Service)

paid by private sympathizers of They the Republican Party.

them I was shown a letter from d she told me. “Most of

"I hope your generation does another step forward, another have waited for twenty years gentleman in Barcelona, Spain. want jobs. To them, we give better than oura,” he said, “Ours | battle won, is recorded to pay these expenses.

Instead of an address, he had a form to fill out. Some ray has had too many wars,”,

day. decorated the envelope with a

"TO

Burly Secret Service agents competent portrait of Ike, and with small white stor badges in written below it merely their lapels are everywhere. Him, US.A.". It arrived with- Just how many are on duty out delay. the service's secret, but you

cannot move far without bump- Most of the General's mail is ing into one. Their constant marked for standard answers. vigil is shared by G-men, New Mrs Mamie Elsenhower, who York detectives and uniformed gets about 500 letters a day, bas New York policemen.

u staff of seven to onower them

д

AUDREY CAN'T STAND BROOKLYNESE

From NEWELL ROGERS

New York.

Audrey's She automatically de-

nervés are American necent. If she made out of the same kind moved to London she would General Eisenhower himseir personalised reply. Mamio bos

for one and each writer gets WILL Audrey, the elec- cides which of ten num-

tronic robot telephone bere from one to naught of wires and equipment have to be rewired for the does

not sleep at the modore. Until he moves into the whom she knows well enough with our number when we right light for each.

Com a mailing list of 1,000 people girl, one day connect us you speak. She flashes the that go into the modern dial British voice. She will not White House, he is keeping the to call by their first namer.

system..

evon respond to the apartment in Morningside

Brooklyn accent, which Drive, New York, which he

She listens to a human says "tree" for "three." voice, sqrts out speech sounds into electrical class)-

•fications, conforming elec-

occupied as President of Columbia University,

It Squawked

He arrives modore at 8.30 am. every morning. Four athletic Secret cording to law, all of these must Service agents surround him as be checked by Secret Service

SPECIAL room is reserved nt the Com- A for incoming parcels. Ac

speak it to the telephone?

But she could equally Probably that is still far control operations such in the future. We are going dialling. to have to dial with our.. fingers a while longer.

as

just

But the Boll Telephone

he walks quickly through the agents. Through their hands Laboratories have lobby, and stand around him in have passed countless Bibles,

:

trically to the sound, wave Sho will not tolerate any patterns. She matches sloppy speaking. This is one The Bell engineers who these classifications against reason why Audrey cannot the elevator. At this time of the sacred books, romaries, medals, given Audrey short for gave birth to Audrey-K a "memory cell" containing be put into every telephone

digit manning, Ike is always in ex- Illuminated hymns, pictures, and "automatic

re- H. Davis, R. Biddulph, S. reference patterns made up kiosk, home or office, just cellent spirits.

various items of furniture,

yet to save us the trouble cogniser" her Now York- Balashok - hope to mako electronically.

of dialling. On crate Vemitied "I'm a' farm boy," he says. "I

Audrey respond to words debut. strango

*When

the pattern other than numbers. still like to get up with the notes, and was opened care-

Bho is an electrónie tele-

matches the spoken num fully. It contained a large live chikkens.”

with a tog inscribed "I phone automaton which can gooo,

They think she will even bor, on goes the light. He goes into his own three- don't vote, "I only;; @quawie."

suttomia

bara spoken into the words of command-per- 'telophone.

kaps: "Go" or "Stop."

....

Audrey will have to grow n' bit more. At present sho can fit into a large con-.

living room, The Elienbowers didn't have the intelligently react to num-. be taught to say, a few Androy has been trained sole TV-radio-gramophona,

dining room and ocice, In the heart to eat this gift; the gover living room is a mody where Em la still' agianwickna

only to respond to an cabinot.

!

+

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