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"AND WHAT ABOUT US 7”
HAVE WE
4595||||||||||||||
TOO
MANY
BISHOPS?
by Evelyn Irons
ISHOPS are under fire in the preface
to the new Crockford's clerical direc- tory. 'Main
charges made against them:
BRITAIN
STLWYN
ALOYD ALEXANDER
Worse Conetight, dy arightonant with Defly focus.
·A GARLAND FOR THE ARCHBISHOP
Dr. Fisher at London University,
Bishops are too numerous That is nearly enough to give Chelmsford. and too expensive. The every parson in the land a rise overdrafts." majority bring meagre in- of £1 a week. tellectual gifts to adorn their office*
On the first charge, the Dean of Winchester, Dr Ed- ward Gordon Selwyn, speaks He says there are too up. many bishops.
"Most of us have
Some bishops, like the Bishop
But the Church Commissioners, of Oxford. Dr Kirk, whose sce wilo pay the salaries of most is worth £6,000 a year, pay their bishops, think that the economics own secretaries and also pay for
could be effected by the upkeep of which
their episcopal drastically reducing the number house or palace. of bishops would be "negligible."
"Only few thousands of pounds would be saved," is their argument.
But most have come under o new scheme whereby the Church Commissioners take the revenue from the see, give the bishop a In the past 50 years, 17
salary, and pay the billa for the "We administer huge sums, renovations of the ancién: new dioceses have been
gardeners, for the created, making a total of amounting to about 27 million palaces, for
We think in terms of bishop's petrol, and other neces 43 for the provinces of a year.
sary expenses. Canterbury and York.
Yet in that time the numbers of ordinary par- sons have declined by some. ten thousand.
-Most-of-these--parsons, 12,242 in all, are very poor. Seven thousand of them have less than £9 a week to live on. Bishops average £3,000 a year.
Salary bill £619,000
A CAME FOR THE BISHOP Dr. Bell at a fute,
hundreds of pounds."
thousands
of
Two of the 17 new dioceses were offshoots from the ancient see of Winches- ter, which in 1927 wòa split into three by the creation of the two new bishoprics of Portsmouth and Guildford, But surely an 'economy of "a The Dean of Winchester few thousands" effected by re- wants the dioceses of Ports- ducing the unwieldy number of mouth and Guildford to be dioceses would help towards that reunited,
total of more than £1 million extra which, the Church Com-
Usually the bishop keeps rooms in the palace for his family (The rent is no cheaper than for similar accommodation elsewhere," the Commissioners say).
What do these indigent bishops do to justify the expense?
Listen to the High Church Vicar of St George the Martyr, Wolverhampton, in
his parish magazine. He says:
"They travel interminably consecrating churchyards, dedi- cating organs, instituting parish priests; the weddings and funerals of county people arc iris complete without them; recently they have been undertaking
spectacular world tours round the colonies and war arena.... They father the_godly rather than further the Gospel."
And the vicar adds: "Few of them are men of distinction and learning."
of bishops, the Com
the
How many can you name?
Sitting on the Fence.... by
Nathaniel Gubbins
much interest has been aroused by the observation of reador that my photograph reveals the face of a shrewd, hard-headed business man
the
In Who Tan't Who his bobbies
as "Grinding are given faces of the poor and spending week-ends in the country try Ing to be a gentleman."
that it has been considered Short essay on
advisable to publish a short version of the Gubbins's success story for the benefit of ambitious and unscrupu- lous young men.
As a boy, Gubbins could see that education got you no- where, unless you wanted to be a schoolmaster or a civil ser
vant.
I
work
OFTEN wonder why ac treszes, who have achieved. fame always put it down to hard work.
I can only suppose it is false modesty, because 1 Imagine that what they really think and to what they would like to stale is:-
So, instead of attending his studies, he collected bread from London restaurants and sold at Od. a bag to fools feeding pigeons in Trafal- gar Square,
When other smart boys made Gub- money out of the idea, bins persuaded them to buy shares in D company called State Bread for Pigeons Incor- porated, which didn't exist,
say
"I attribute my astounding success to my dazzling beauty, superior intelligence, artístic.. temperament, and the fact that most of the others left struggling bellind
a
pack of fools."
WOTE.
The last time he wrote to me ho was disgusted at some mild Crack I
made about King Farouk. Now he has turned up in Singapore to write a letter, with the usunt signature, to a local newspaper becausé · Mc Malcolm MacDonald attended a recital by an opera singer in shirt sleeves instead of a dlo- ner Jacket.
woll
As Disgusted must be over 100 years old, and is stil it enough to travel to the Fur East, it looks as if he not only thrives on prolonged anger, but may out-live us.
Sometime in the dislant future perhaps · his trembling hand will reach for a pen to write his last letter:-
SIR,
Surely it is high time the attention of all decent-mind- ed citizens was directed to the growing practice of young mothers travelling 10 the Moon for evening cocktails, leaving their children to the tender mercies of a sitter-in.
In my young days woman's place was on Earth. I remain, Sir, yours, etc.,
DISGUSTED.
The beast
"Directly I see a photo in the nude, I put on dark games → 1 And this helps to subdue the beest in me."--Letter in Amateur Photographer, quoted by THE
New talemah people
And where is the virtue in hard work? Intellgent work only because they have
to.
With the police on his track, Gubbins then fled to Australia, Those who work hard for the where he sold imaginary gold love of work are usually medio- bricks to simple. farmers. With erities who are obliged to hide the Australian police on lis
then fled to track, he
South their incompetence by a display Africa, where he had the of fanatical industry.
gold nerve to sell imaginary
If you don't agree with me, bricks to gold-mining experts.
consider the case of the horse.
Compared, say, with a clever person Like yourself, the horse's mentality is pretty low. Yet, even a horse has sense enough not to like work.
the With half the pollee of
Gubbins Empire on his track, then fled to Canada, travelled
THE plcture
Disgusted writes again
RECENTLY
an American doctor said that, to ba- come angry in futile argument. to be in a constant state of in- dignation about trifles, shortens life.
Evidently he had never heard of "Disgusted," who began writing to the newspapers long north and, by skilful salesman-, before the turn of the century ship, became the origin of the and has been in a state of cold joke about selling refrigerators fury for at least 60 years. 10 Eskimos.
When I was young, I remem- He also sold tiny fur coats
ber he was disgusted at to female, pygmies in
Equa hobble
hair, skirt, bobbed torial Africa and electric' blan- votes for women, and the con- kets to Hottentots in Darkest dition of the drains. (nd Hottest). Afrien.
When he returned to Eng- land he opened factories to sell people things they didn't want, made a fortune rigging the stock market, and remained in- different to the wails of ruined widows and orphans.
OH,
#
H, yo nasty beast within us, Foreign beast with mind .unclean,
Take your joy from Englyshe
pleasures,
Cricket on ye village green, Morris dancers round ye May-
pole
See how
healthille
they
hoppe, Wholesome as ye olde worlde
puddinges
Plain os
cakes in olde shoppe.
-London Express Karpies)
ARTIE'S HEADLINE
the
LIKE ICE
Older men remember him being in a rage about bloomera. and bicycles. Even older ones believe he was one of the first to be cross about trains.
His lettera usually begin with a booming "SIR," followed by "Surely it is high time the at- tention of ali decent-minded citizens was directed to a pub- le scandal....' and ending "I five remain, Sir, yours, etc., Dis
gusted,
He has been blackballed by all the best clubs in the continents
a world record.
American Column from R. M. MacColl
tea
DUEL IN THE DARK FOR
SOMETHING TO DRINK
Washington.
re-
But now -the law has taliated with "hot rods of its own, and wild chases of deadly danger take place on the night
roads, ·
are
So gloomy, preparations afoot to leave. sore of the athletes behind.
In these, the booze, put into many a slip twixt the plodge TN the dead of night, down fruit bootles and jam jars, was and the cash," and that usually "I believe that the prin- missioners say, they need in
rushed into town from Brillant bishops are rare in- in the mountain country wood or hillside where it was pledges ever materialises....
the only about 20 percent of such ciple should be applied more order to raise the pay of parsons deed, How many bishops can of the Southern States, cars made, and the "revenovers"
name? Wend of widely," he said. "There are to the bare minimum of 2000 you even
London, Chavaste of Rochester, go sweeping along-often were helpless. now so many dioceses that a year.
Bell of
headlights at in on whose in- without there are simply not enough
problems has Instead of limiting
AN American magazine, now the title of the speeds of 120 miles an hour, hlm bishops to fill them.".
number
Foreign Secretary.
ry their drivers skidding them
nowned for the detalled. that those The self-styled There are 80 many missioners complain
*bold, bad into the turns of the road
with which it conducts its ro ports, says that methods of re dioceses, and so few men of they have oro understaffed, and Bishop of Birmingham, Dr with daredevil Judgment:
income of Barnes, who created such a stir
If the bootlegger is caught tail selling in. Ameries today distinction available, that that an additional
This is the modern de ho faces a possible gaol sentence are so poor and lacking in drive when one seo falls vacant, it £100,000 a year would be needed with his scientifle views, but is
of the of a year and a day. But the and freshness that a potential 21,000 million In extra profits is often filled by moving in to provide them with staff and now a very old man. (He is 78.) velopment in one
South's oldest pursuits, the game is worth it. For many secretariat "corresponding to a bishop from somewhere
distilling of moonshine" of them are making profits of is being lost every year.
about £300 a week..
BUGAR KAY. ROBINSON else. For instance, the new those enjoyed by area managers
corn liquor.
ELSA LANCHESTER, wife tells his friends that he is an-
„klous to run for Congress. The point about "moonshine" of Charles Laughton, signs up or "popskull," as it is also call- for a ten-weeks four to 53 IN the big Now York atores ed, is that it is made to the towns next September, taking there was a big rush to buy taste of the local inhabitants, har "Private Musle Hall" com- "Bon Voyare" baskets to pro- who "don't hold, with that par
Gregory sent to travellers leaving on the chemical stuff they sell you in any Producer Payl
says: "Miss Lanchester - hasa malden voyage of the Uner the stores and, more impor- talent that hasn't been touched United States. Some cost - £12 tant in these days of high liv. In her night club and film work, 129.
of comparable secular organisa- tions,"
overdrafts'
Not many more.
And the gorgeous, vestments? The House of Laity of the Church Assembly recently had a nolay debate about the vestments
new
Bishop of Winchester, Dr Alwyn Williams, has been switched there from his bishopric
'Most of us, have by Anglo- Catholle of Durham
The Protestants were
·which has now been filled by
They demanded a outvoted, Canon A. M. Ramsey, a
clause in
In the revised Canon Law enjoining that "at all ser- Cambridge University pro- The bishops have complaints, vices the minister shall wear, a fessor..
too. They say they have to live surplice and scarf, together with in vast, outdated palaces, with the hood of his degree.” “And no According to the Church's own such inadequate service that they copes or stoles, figures, salaries of bishops, arch- often have to help their wives Costly-copes priced at £200 deacons, cathedral staffs and lay with the washing-up. Somo and more are favoured by many Copies of the prescribed workers total 2610,000 a year.
would palaces
require seven High maids and a butler to run. Forms 1 (a) (b) and, I (c):
They say that
ORDINANCE
1952
Now On Sale at
S. C. M. Post, Ltd.
I
Hongkong and Kowloon
TEN CENTS EACH
* De Fisher, Archbishop of Can-
- with all the terburu, criticised this préfacă in a speech at the Maniors Houre entertaining and style that is Join with the Bishop of London in expected of them, they are poor. abominating these persons who despa: £8,000 a year. light En spreading alarm and
lng costs, it pays no duty to and that is what she is going to
the
take to the general public,” In. HEADLINE: ' "Queen victim aro 'the' complaints one small place, which has no of inflation, too, so Britain from the legitimate distillers, theatre or sultablo hall, she raises her allowance," whose business is seriously will play in the village... iron- affected in many States by the manger's shop, edd. and
Churchbishops' parsons. Usually they are paid for, and presented parishioners.**.
by
Protestants, argua that such vestments are illegal," and that they should have no place in u despondency, hè sold.", They were "There is no question of church whose Founder com like the people who during the war bishops loading lives of luxury"- manded, “Go and self" that thou weng, about: serasible con/spalle, "A Ascond, frans now.
says Dr Allison, the Bishop óf hast, and give to the poor, t
moonshiners.
AT a fashkmeble Washington cocktail party, with the tem- LONG FACES among Ameri- perature in the high "nimeting, en's Olympics oficiale. Although ono brave general suddenly coro the much boosted 14-hour off his tunio, All the other THE wild "driving has come "telethon" over: TV by Bob: men promptly followed his about because the up-to-date Hope and Bing Crosby produced example, and, an one of bootlegger started going in for telephona pledges totalling just guests put 11, "1's been a long “hot rods"" ("rouped up" cars over £367,000 Send the US time since I've seen so many | which can go al terrific team to Helsinki, fi is now he.. wet diiris sucking to so many
ing pointed out that, "there's, important bucks.!! speeday
C