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THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 1952.

ENTIRE BRITISH TEXTILE

OUTPUT

BOARD CIRAQFT AND IF THEY WRIGGLE OUT OF THE DEAL DONT FORGET TO TELL THEM TY BECAUSE THEY'RE IMPERIALIST WARMONGERS.....

TRADE WITH MOSCOW (UPPER LEVEL)

World Cuttight. Pa niskagement wuh Dalla fieralt,

Sitting on the Fence... by

Nathaniel Gubbins

1

I read it several times. THEN you are re-

covering from in- even read it aloud, muttering to myself like an Imbecile, until somebody caught me at it and fluenza your mind

tu send for the is incapable of grasping threatened anything but the simplest doctor again. Rentences in print.

Then I went through the lettor

I had given up reading books in sentence by sentence as it Mr bed and thought that newspaper Taylor's astral body was in the Would be easy enough to under- bedroom.

stand, until I came Rcross the following letter in Tho Times:

"Sir, I have not yet heard the cuckoo this year. In this a record? I cannot remem

it last I heard ber when

ago

A

You say you have not heard the cuelcuo this year, Mr Taylor, and ask, "Is this a record?”

That's right..

I

7,

In

AO

Then you say you remember when

усог. Two years never heard it on April possibly because I was Switzerland. But then, many clocks are made there.

am, sir,

Your obedient servant, Charles Taylor.

last year?

eanrat you heard it

Sho is also frightfully keen on ping pong.

She not only fails in. Loye at first sight but at the first sound of a lonely stranger calling frgin the tiles; and, if staying out all night with him in 'n howling blizzard

bo called enthusiasm,- she is enthusiastic sweetheart.

CATI

As for her constitution,, she has never had a day's illness in and is probably the five years fittest cat in the country,

Bedside books

HASIER to understand and

light for weak hands to hold were the little pamphlets wrapped round patent medicine bottles which I always regard as my favourite literature.

In a short while had forgot- ten The Times

mystery letter and was eagerly reading how I iness by could avoid further taking the sunshine and prote- tive vitamins A and D, renew the richness of my blood stresin with vitamin B, and aveld That's right. Don't you think it might have scurvy with vitamin C.. If you

It was been more interesting could remember when you heard vitamin E, it last year?

at's right. That's

What Made Sir Stafford

Turn Om Himself?

The Socialists, threw him out when he was a violent Socialist... restored him when he later became a respectable one...

M

by WILLIAM BARKLEY

ANY years ago } How does a bus driver, as an output? saw and heard example, Increase his

Does he drive two or more buses" the late Lord tandem, ilke

loom-mlader Birkenhead ad- minding more loams? dress the Inte Lord Par-

Large numbers of moor. Things do not ad cannot increase their output. vaneo much, for I have for them the stany path

laid down of making a fxeci

workers

wus

never since seen or heard ware meet rising couls of living. anything better.

Cripps preaching, his

wage Parmour, father of Sir Stafford restraint astonishingly held the Cripps, was then the Socialist trades union movement, largely to t. 11e persunded even the leader in Opposition in the Lords. General Council of the T.U.C. Birkenhend, speaking for the

to issue wage-freeze commenda- Tory Government, suddenly paused to contemplate the white tons, all by the strength of his haired, fresh-faced figure before to and his known personal

frugality.

bim.

At last, with all the air of a new dawning discovery, he cried: "Is this Sir Alfred Cripps?"

Now Sir Alfred Cripps, before becoming a noble Socialist, was & vallan: Tory and tariff reformer.

THE COUSIN

"MR AUSTERITY"

Lloyd George why he made such a blunder as to stay in politics when he could have become an elder statesman in 1018.

Lloyd George tickled the palm wore himself to extremity of his hand and replied: "The failed the falling body in peace

for his country in war. He itch for power."

It is no eyniclan to gay that a

and in- win the Battle of Doliny Gap. politiclan is fired with a

of his own usefulness Cripps alspensability.

1837.

HE

The

when I read about which puls new vigour into elderly men, that I began to worry about expensive free under the Let's get thla straight, Mr drugs provided Taylor. It seems you didn't hear National Health Act.

A bottle of 100 vitamin E the cuckoo on April 7 two years ago,

because you were tablets costs £2.

DU Df Average

the many 'n Swartland, and 83 clocks

getting highte are made there. You population is

every year, mean cuckoo clocks?

So any day how my Income That's right. Am I to understand that so tax will not only be buying many cuckoo clocks were strik- slimming pills for fat women, who have been gorging on iny Icod subsidies, but alas vitamin The final paradox of Cripps ising, in Switzerland that when he became ortho-wouldn't know if you

thousands of old men. dax and respectable he was re-listening to a clock or a cuckoo? E tablets, at nearly ed. each, for No wonder shed a few more stored to the Socialist Party, but

tears into the wel pillow." he was violent Socialist when he was thrown out of it.

he believed that he had always been of one mind,

It was not merely for his views that he was expelled. It was for Infidelity.

11s was thrown out when he advocated forming a common front with all anti-Tories, for this meant he-hud-no-faith that the Socialists could ever win an election by themselves.

That party will sooner tolerate

a rebel than an infidel, Converse- ly, you will po far in the party i

in it and have faith you

ring.

BUT, STILL .

bו!

CRIPPS leaves à great name.

That's

that you

were

a's right. Finally, Mr Taylor, does the publication of your letter mean that the editor of The Times considers your observations on ruckoos a matter of national Im Portance, or does it mean that The Times is starting a nonsense column?

But Mr Taylor's astral “ was no longer there when ..... turned on my side and so

care of mental exhaus in into the wet pillow.

Happy birthday

seen

The

PRIL 20 is the birthday, of the Inte Adolf Hitler and Lottie the Devil Cat.

"What Although he was a great

According to fallure. A failure in Moscow. Stara Fossielt," by R. H. Nayl

born in this przich what they want. ant where, in bitter frustration, he thera spent time moving the embassy "know

Dyna- charge in a straight line for furniture, watching the mos, visiting the Opera, talking Nobody can deny that Hitler had this quality, and nobody law with Vyshinsky.

Lottie charge He was foolishly credited with who has

the larder and having done something to bring straight into

off the shelt Stalin ou to our side. But the hook a chicken sense credit there belongs to Hiller, would deny that she knows what He was a failure in his India she wants, and is determined to

have it at all costs. Was this Sir Stafford

milzalon. Tears sprang to his aged

and finance His policy in under the Birkenhead lach. He who was near pacist in

fall when he RELIGIOUS dedication. Pub- wages began to turned his seraphic countenance who urged ordnance

tools if hither and thither, ceming to workers to down

war 4

ile life was sacrificial to had to devalue the sterling 'ex- judgment. ask: "Won't someone stop him came, since war served only Cripps, because his faith gave change against his

nowhere accompanied beating me?"

capitalist Interests?

him sublime self-confidence and Success When, in

him. the inte forties, conviction of rectitude.

Yet one could at the war heresy to doubt his high

rinciples, I was ill-qualified for REPENTANCE. Maybe the time detest Cripps for his polit

simple explanation of the eies and respect him for his REVERSE change occurred the role of hero-worshipper. in the second generation of elections I fell in with a

At one of his pre-war Bristol change in Cripps was that he qualities. In public life respect

lively recognised

is the highest form of success. political Crippses. The revolu- girl cousis of Cripps. "Canvass earlier ways, but with more than

-(London Express Service) Horary Sir Stafford of younger ing for Sir Stafford?" I inquired. normal share of stiff-neckedness

A

PROBITY

eyes

days became the later fount of financial probity.

"Is this Sir Stafford Cripps?"

factory

some

She brusquely retorted that she was canvassing ngainst him, Contemplating him as Chan- and that in her view he was cellor of the Exchequer before standing for the party which the best hopes of illness struck him down over- offered him night, I qften said to myself: political advancement.

I reported to Sir Stafford. He Was this he who onca rang struck a damaged and indignant Bueltingham. Palace's doorbell attitude and thrusting his hand

hic in and ran away?

pocket pulled out What I mean is that he cald quito mall pleces of paper,

Look at

the briefs I refuse In 1034 that if his party come to power it would have to over- every day in my work for the come opposition' from Bucking- party!" he exclaimed. 1:am Palace. But he dropped this

I held out my hand to take thrust them and he at line at once when challenged.

Was this Sir Stafford who in them-briefs, mark you-Into 1987 said that the British work his waistcoat pocket. Ing man would be as well off if his boss was the Boche?,

In the House of Commons, in 10181. and

the Trades at

once

the

CITür

of his

samo

are

Those born under this sign (Aries) are also "fond of sport,

Arst sight, fall in love at enthusiastic sweethearts, and cdnstitu- usually have strong tions."

I don't know about Hitler, but can say that Lottie is so fond. of sport that toy mice have bo. provided to satisfy her boundless enthusiasm for the chase..

Fo

1

Open road

driving his invalid chair r1 passing, two came at en heus and another at 41-miles an hour. - Jeroh Crimin was ford £1 at Brighton.

Flving through the country Whizzing up and down, Paseng Billy motor care

Crawling through the town, Lorries at the Crossroads

Stonals of distress, Honky tonk, honky tonk,

: Couldn't cure luas." Whirlhin through the villager

S'epping on the pas Driver of a sporta car

Says he wants to pass, Step her up to forty-one (Now he's in a mess), Honky tonk, honky tonk,

Couldn't care less.

Buring over hill tona

Down the other side. Chaufeur driven motor cars

Take 'em for a ride, Motor coaches in a jam Trying to propress, ilonky tonk, honky tonk,

Couldn't care less.

Copper on a motor bike Waving with his hand, Wave a cheery greeting back

"Isn't fe orand?" Copper tries to stop me

Signal of distress, Henky tonk, honky tonk,

Couldn't care less. -Landon Express Service)

FRITTERING AWAY THE

TAXPAYERS'

London,

to

MONEY

By William Townshend

+

1

"The company," says the Baste corres- Sunday Express

of the Misjon

"

HEN it comes

pondent, "is run on religious lines, All its employees have frittering away the

tho company wng The Mission Society of Basic though

its to be members taxpayers' money

Switzerland at that time actively domiciled in

were parily Society, enemics and was former I asked him; "Do you think I on

officered by Germany. fell off a gooseberry bush?"

corners of the British Empire. their sympathisers, there is carrying the Gospel to remote establishments And that was all the talk. The no country to compare with

The Idea occurred to a Swiss next thing

named Frels Union Congress at Margate, he, dockers had deposited me, quite Britain.

coffee merchant

that there were com- preached the doctrine that a rise gently, on the pavement cutside.

We can't get out of this odd werk in wages is a bad thing unlers But I was left with the thought

with the shadow merelal possibilities in Hnking production goes up.

that certain amount of drama-custom, even the make-belief is necessary to or national bankruplay hanging trade with Bible punching, the successful politician.

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WOMAN BY HIS SIDE

Sue was Bir Stafford Crippa's night Barse anxious 21 during the months, on and off, at the Mircher Beaner cilnia at Zurich....

During the day she met his callers, answered, bls, letters, arranged his, flowers,

Now ho", la free to ro back to their home in the Gloucestershire hills, the home ∙sho has⋅ DET only rarely recently

LADY CRIPPS"

knew

PUZZLES

four large

Crips WAS this Sir Stafford

who rallied his party for a (imp, and much of the nation, to

and morul seriousness high offered it leadership on a stony road?.

10

of it a small-

cver us.

In the latest Supplementary Civil Estimates there is a fine new example print item disclosing that, sub- Ject to the aboval of Parlia ment, £125,000, is to be pad to the Basic Trading Company.

In the Kaiser's war this Swley and concern owned factories

"The Preiswerk family, which In 1917 Sir Hugh Clifford, has blood ties with Germany, is Governor of the Gold Coast, regarded with the highest ré-

German ex- out the throw

spect in Basle," The of the mission. ployees Indian Government interned the

German staff. }

The missionaries, It was said. had engaged in anti-British Propaganda and hostile acis.

After the war both the mis- Germans son and Ita trading company and Swiss Recking trade. Every were suspended because of their and associational convert meant a new customer.

"onemy

So wherever the missionaries went Here Preiswerk sent his hand-picked young

and other

com-

shops, and carried on trading Before long there was no need sympathies." Yes it was. Indeed it was all operations in the Gold Coast for "Papa" Preiswerk to con- the time the same Sir Stafford, and India. Because of suspect tinue peddling his coffee. The

wanted .who the same

activities, its. ed pro-German liquidate the Empire before the

properties were acized after war and saw the dollar gap cesed after the war by produce of this the war, smaller Empire countries,

Contradictions,

Stafford

What mode

A few years later the Go! tura round on himself?

Coast properties were handed Well, first, he grew up. The back, plus £250,000 consens Immensely successful K.C

tion. Negotiationn asfer 1 deeply read in law and shallowly Indian properties dragged on read in other fields, was in poll-

worldwar nti tics a mere adolescent at 50. Then there were other reasons..

broke out. hisey

A friend of the family sald "This £125,000 is a gift from God. Whihout a doubt Herr Preiswerk will put the entire Bum to missionary work in tho region where, the property, was seized and not keep one periny for himself or his family.

But before the Treasury pays over it might well answer thego questions:

paying out this money when it does not admolt llpbllity?

cocoa beans mollies his young men sequir

When, In 1928, the Gold Why Is the British Govern- ed from the natives in exchange

were handed merit for cheap necklaces, bracelets, Coant, propertica

fetched good back, together with a rolatlum and brassware

£280,000, the whole or money.

ganisation of Gospel merchants, In fact, the activities of the according to one of their former #rocked with Preiswerk traders began to em- enfployees, barrass the missionaries. But a larity." solution was soon found.

go

to

:

2 If the Swica shareholder feel they have been wronged, why not let them test the matter in the courts?

Now the Basle Company, 11ip second

present chairman to 3 Alternatively, as the Swiss In 1859 Prelawerk formed the whose

Willlarn... Preiswerk claim arises out, of property have since been r Basle Trading Company and Herr And now, 32 years after agreed that all profits above 6 Tissot, has another £123,000 in India, why not suggest they address it to Mr Nehru? Why

· PATRIOTISM. To find

the success to acclaim.

should we take responsibility country under menace from the ceizure, the British Govern- percent were to Hitler was comething different ment-wilicut admitting any evangelical work of the Basle

Not that it really needs the now that India has independent quietly. Mission,

traders and So from imagined theories. In 1939 legal liability has

pay £125,000 In missionaries could new world in money for, according to Swiss status

reports, if is currently earning ho throw up all briefs and agreed to settlement.

on ita. In plain words, is this. In- 32 percent per annum offered his services for victory,

That is the story in bald out-

war capital or 2,000,000 Swiss francs, tale generosity at the Billah Expanse really When the firstworld But lo. Understand. Sta THE FUN of rower. Mr Montline.

It is broke out the trading posis were all owned by the Preiswerk: taxpayer

necessary? Follick, the offervescent MP more fantastic features" for Loughborough, once naked necessary to go back a century, yielding a rich hervect. But ferally

harmony,

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