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THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16, 1952,
Sitting On The Fence
By .... NATHANIEL GUBBINS
CARSON'S in the balance, let us drop DACHEL
consider your book
recalls the everything to:
problem. scientist's phrase to describe the beginning of life in the world. A single-celled amoeba In the protozoic Bilme."
Here is an impression of the
first romance written in manner of an Irish ballad.
the
I might have been your sweet- heart 50,000,000 years ago, You might have been the kind of girl amoebas like to know, When you and I together sat
before the dawn of time Two single-celled amoebas
the protozole slime.
Sure your eyes they never
shone like stars
You had no eyes to au You had no voice to tell me
that
Forever you'd be mine.
not
Your hair was
like
golden corn That ripens in the fall For me darlin bit of jelly
Had no hair at all; at all.
in
O'Moeba is an Irish name, it
is begob bedne
It must be Just the oldest -- Maps old eland ever had
So when we sat together
were once upon a time Two single-celled O'Mocbas
the protozoic slime.
Sure I couldn't hold your
little hand
You had no hand to hold 10- But we snuggled up
gether Cos the new world was
cold.
There was no one there to
marry us
No meter there to call Bume-dariin. Ettle Jelly
Didn't care at all, at all,
molher Ireland, from Kildare
If your
comes
in
from
or
Killarney
You can bet your bottom dol- lar she's descended from a pair
Of single-celled. OʻMoebas who were joined up for a time As a double-celled O'Mocha in
the protozole slime..
Sure me heart it would be
bentin
If I had a heart to beat And me feet they would be
danchu
But O'Morbas had no feet. When we had a million
children
Called O'Moeba one and
an Aud me darlin bit of jelly Didn't care at all, at all.
While General Erenhower ***The us with tried to cheer situation of the fres world is brighter," and Joe Stalin sald he does rol consider a Wind world war is clear than it was hree years ago, a bald-hended nan has written to a newspaper saying is frightence to re- move hy hat in the presence of women because he itses tal- fidence.
this
One obvious way out of the difficulty is to keep your hat on at all times, though would not only make you un- popular in churches, and look feclish in restaurants, but ex-
both
AT resentment cite curiosity in your girl friend.
If you did not raise hat to her on meeting and part- Ing, she would think you were no gentleman; if you told her R had stuck to your head, stre would naturally want to know why and how long.
your
You
As these questions would bo dificult to answer, you might Men have take another line. vowed που to shave until- there is universal pence. might say you have vowed not to remove your hat until Stalin the with hands has shaken
States. President of the United
the Assuming
friendship grows warmer, you could pro
του Pose with your hut, on. could avoid a clwrth and be married in a register olles.
But what happens then?'
If you suddenly remove your that when you reach the hotel,
your bride may .from the shock.
If you insist on wearing you: bowler day and night, I cau only say yours will be an un- usual and uncomfortable honey-
moon.
Man bites lion-
WORLD shortage of meat is
foreign
Wausing some strange be-
haviour here and in parts.
Bhas been reported that. President Peron recently spent a whole night poking his nose into the dustbins of Buenos Aires, ostensibly to nee how many steaks been thrown away by spoiled citizens.
As steaks are hard to come by, even in the beef empire, I suggest that he was probably hoping to find a tiibit for,kim- self.
ORFENCES
'MULLO.LODE! SOMETHING COMING UP ALREADY“
World Copyright. By arrangement with Daily Herald.
CARLSEN GETS OUT
HIS UNIFORM AGAIN
A Page One Sailor goes back to the sea with a salty shrug at fame and wealth
From FREDERICK COOK
Woodbridge, New Jersey, badgering from the radio N the little back bed- and television people-all-- room of an unpreten- the things that go with the tious white wood house business of being a world at 65, Alwat Street in Wood- celebrity, bridge-safely out of sight of the nearest suit water- a dark blue uniform lies folded on the bed.
Sonia's bicycle
At the moment Carlsen It has been sponged and has other things on his pressed and the four broad mind. He is out in tho gold stripes on the sleeves garage behind the house gleam brightly. The brak with paint smears up to his on the peaked cap has had elbows, re enamelling too. daughter Sonia's bicycle-a n loving polishing,
Dogs in Britain killed and injured 10,900 sheep in 1951. If this is allowed to go on I suggest that owners of sheep- worrying dogs should become vegetarians to make up for the Captain Carlsen is off to job she says he must finish
་
loss in rations.
and a ma
man in a village in hay bit. Northern Rhodesia alon's nose. ien
be
Or, better still, bile the
at worry the sheep,
CAPTAIN CARLSEN
... back to the bridge.
*
What I'd do
to Stalin- by the Tank General
SOCIALIST Rebel "Nye"
Bevan and Tory. Gen- eral Sir Giffard "Q" Martel should have an early talk together.
Not about the past,
Because the General blames the Socialist Party-Especially the "emblitsed Intaligentsia for most of our political follies since the war, like yielding ર૦ the alternately
pressure of the Russians and the Americans.
Not about the future. Because the moment we are strong enough
General V the wants to counter the RusNT cold war by a Western much- warmer was.
He advises planting local "Resistance" kaners inside the Soviet Union and Its dis+ affected satellite states, shower“ Ing down airborne propaganda, ter If this does not stop the Rus- vi sians from staring up trouble abroad-by having to deal with so much trouble themselves pt nomo-General
proposes, that we erect cur own "Velvet 100% Curtain" around the Soviet land- ?. bice, by which he means wa should make a sea-blockade. He says we should reso tea Salin: Get out of Europe.
Steamroller?
CO far, "Nye" and "Q" øre.not
Fable to hasia much-in- agreement, cither pasi e future.
But if they stick to the pro-/! sent, this unlikely pair may ha find them.elves sharing a lot of mu common ground in the great political argument of the hour / "How strong is the Soviet Union?" For soldier agrees with polstician that the Russian steam- roller is less powerful than it looks.
The
general
(one of the
pioneers of Bri-
By
Lish tanka) spent FRANK
a year in Russia
during the Ger- OWEN
man invasion, as
hend of the Bri-
tish Miltary Mission.
The Germans
were able ought the Russians
to
in tank warfare because the half-million Lorries which American Lease. Lend: gave the Russiarts were 17 entirely used on the lines of- communication.
Art there they were caten up in the quagmire of the roads, which were still better than the broken-down railways,
Now Lease-Lend (for the
MOLI
Ная
Russians) has stopped. Have the Soviet motor weeks sea again.
before he can go off to sea
lost lorries? "You
Carlson placed the understand,"
Soviet
industry provided the told me, "I am not an actor or So Kurt Carlsen's new ship again. -Flying Enterprise II-is Sonia is unable to supervise a television star. I couldn't railway rolling-stock, the radio. The and radar equipment which Army This is, indeed, a desperate at this moment loading 1,200 the job. She is in bed with ton- write a book. If I tried. case of meat hunger. Therefore
miles
Mobile, sillitis.
was so starved of seven years away at
But she is very much sea-that is where I belong. I that brave peasant Red. Strange honeymoon suggest that he should
ago? brought over here to bite the Alabama, on the Gulf of the captain of the Carlsen house- am not a real celebrity."
to had chosen II Carlsen
We've more steel: his noses of the dogs who worryMexico, Carleen expects the hold just the same.
the offers he and accept
NO. He days the sheep.
telephone to ring at any
now -I was talking to her mother household
ben CLAIMS would There could have the Russlan toriks are hour. His bags stand ready. (whose calm grey eyes have lost wealthy.
not outstanding." noses of the owners of the dogs His wife will drive him over now that look of nameless dread been a valet to sponge his uni-good, though
new bleycle for Nor are they so numeroUS· No. In fact, if he's that hungry,to the airport. Then he will they wore when her husband's form and a
Sonia instead of a paint job un suggested paper the old. Mes Carlsen could he could eat the dogs and their escape from the letters that picture was in every
Red Navy? - "Q" ROYS" owners, too, for all I care.
the slanting decks have had a man and a cock they dispose only three capital In this way We could im still pour in, the weird and perched on
ships,
a dozen cruisers, and prove our Sunday dinner and wonderful offers of huge of his dying ship), I had asked She aced never again have set
though they claim 300 sub marines the Russians have never WELL, my dear sir, even it rid ourselves of a lot of pests. sums of money, the stran what was the tonnage of the new foot Inside, the well-kept
gers who greet him, the ship, they have given her hus. modemistic kitchen which
developed any great sea senge.
The Red Air Force? Good Mrs Carlsen hesitated. Then Carlsen could have had by nghters and bombers, but again...
"Q" doubts
if the total alr strength has grown.
Finally "Q" prints table of
the fate of the world is
(London Express Strulcej
On tour in South America, G. Ward Price comes to
THE CITY OF
Sao Paulo, Brazil.,' THE idea that
T
dreds of mes
OPULENCE
band.
sixty-
obviously her joy.
They have been begging him
3
The
.0 little+
eight, The new ship has 48 to do coast-to-coast TV shows. Į in raw tash ources -
much nicer."
screen.
shows .. bettor
from the slek-room came Sonia's now simply fantastic sums four money if he had been will voice:
thousand "Ten hundred tona. She's a C-2. The to say yes, Enterprise was only nine thou- sand one hundred and
which will men. And 12 passengers-she's They have invited him to sign surely serve as an agenda for
endorsements for beer and that talk with
It cigarettes, for yachting cups and the West cs Sao Paulo 3 25-storey building that is to have
Kurt Carlsen's painting job is follipops, and unsinkable row-breeched than Russia in steel, a helicopter station on its roof. the merkand, yielding did crops
The more successful ol coffee and colton,
of Sao the last of many he has been beats; to make specchica on this oil, copper, and aluminium,
Soldiers will read with- Festival of Britain
Paulo's citizens lead private doing here at home since he and that; even to go to Holly would impress Characteristic of the tante lives adapted to this scale, of came back to find himself a wood and play himself at the interest Martel's theccies on..
hed a hero. ·
Koren: politicians his views on.... foreign visitors from places scale on which the city organ- opulence. "Have you
Germany: roctologists on how to Carlson has turned them all stop Asia from breeding-and 19 this industrial ises is affairs is the construc- thesome day at the office, dear?" such
asks the wife of A Sao Paulo is a fion of an artficial lake 50 miles business man. "Let's By to Flo
Field Marsha! Montgomery, on capital of Brazil
the subject of Field Marshal for dinner: we can be back by melancholy example of that long to feed the
the seaward slope of the plateau midnight"-end in a few minutes national self-satisfaction which gentrate the power re- they are driving out to an airport There was the new radlo mast though fearing that Mrs Carlsen Montgomery. which is one of the traits quired by Sao Paulo's 40 per- from which planes leavs for the he had to put up for the short might not understans, "It will
"East v. West."** Lieut-General of the British character cont of the whole productive. capital, 250 miles away, every wave set on which he chats to be good to be back on my own
bridge," he said, "It can't come sir digerd Martel (Muzeum Press, other
the hams throughout most criticised abroad.
12/8.) too soon for me."· world. There was the garden- As a centre of future prosperitying to do and the new car to It is hardly. an exaggeration 35 miles away on the swampy to say that the Festival Skylon shore of three-mile-wide and development South America clean and grense and the child- and all-was the sort of thing saturary, candume over 200,- is the most promising arearen to consult about where the one of Sao Paulo's many hun- 000,000 kilowatt-hours a year.
dreds of dellar-millionaires might put up to amuse tris chil-. (iren,
Denstocks cin
expacity of Brazil, In doing this, quarler of an hour. the city and its part of Santos,
1
· ปี
For this South American city claims to br the most enter- prising, lavish,
fas;- Ber and Fowing in the world. They wide-swinging say that in Sao Paulo
Approaching Sao Paulo up the
coastal
cacarpment by curves and
a naw white-tiled funnels, one gets the
1
the world. In that area Brazil la the most richly endowed coun- try, and In Brazil the cly of San Paulo is moving testeet on the mad to feriune,
10,000 letters
and
commemorative should hang and what should be done with his own model of a four-master Danish training ship now that there were so, inany new mementoes to And wall-space for.
And, of course, there were the "The Find from investments letters well over 10,000 of them and still coming. Seventeen country," says the
of Foreign secretaries laboured to answer
*All thos
o city oven the United akyscraper office buildings and In Sao Paulo young Briicas are people taking the trouble to
have
30 same starting Impression as ac- building is finished every minutes, and licences for fresh companies arrival at Johannes in this construction are Issued at the burg. Suddenly, out of a pri- Brazilian Ministry
of Affairs, "is generally double and them at the peait time. But rate of 30 a day. Population mitive natural background dans grown from 500,000 in 1020 banana trees and banks of wild nometimes as much as five timer Carlsen signed every one of them to the present figure of 2,250,000. hydrangea, there springs this that which can be obtained in himself. That was the least I
almost arrogant city of North America or Europe"yet could do," he said,
You'd · never Stateo, ins rivalled that rate of Bolls, factory chimneys, radio rurs. Ootal immigration figures write. expansion
masts, and broad motor evenues ahow that in the first five years thought it, would you?" with "clover-leaf crossings-a after the last war only 1,506
A great deal of his time has place where architect and en- Englishmen and Englishwomen
inser have been given a tree arrived in Brazil as settlers-be devoted to saying no-no to the masses of money-maklum to together, with one Scot. hand and unlimited · funkis
offers, that have been The Poulistas, as the inhabi- tjedlige their most up-to-date
This contrasts with 20,000 to him. The offers grow bigger, tonts call themselves, are the conceptions.
For uguras, 15,000 Italians, and and bigger every time lu satu cocklest, most pushful peoplờ in.
The businessová bidding Though at least half the In- 4,000 Spaniards "Our young for him could sat believe he Brazil. Those qualities have habitants foreign
for developed as the result of thele hans are of foral origin, men don't like owning over mentit by should they? A ally's good forinne in occupying pride of achievement. The hotel is Sao Paulo told me. If so, it man who just did not care a bracing site 3,000, above sea clerk is not content to allot you can only be because they do not about money was new to them, loval on the edge of a fertile a room: he runs you up a bouple" knów what chances they are But in the end they have had
to accept it. platonu that stretcuts for hun- of dozen flot to see this, now missing.
mado
downl.
He lowered his voice DS
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