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THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12, 1952.

EMOCRACY

"MAKE THE HOLE A BIT BIGGER AND YOU CAN BURY ME TOO“

Maria Company) Mudelangemeld with daily streabă

on

Sitting Fence. by

D

Nathaniel Gubbins

*Housewives bre mys- fed by the appearance of unrationed H-eggs on the market. K stands for 'Hatching, indicating they were originally sold for that purpose."-News item. like

the said

an

11

egg, housewife

The grocer only shook his

head

The housewife said "Don't

pull my leg

I want my egg. my ration-

ed egg."

The grocer said "I

egrg

Nor have 1 time for pulling

lega

the

and broke fcreman, who his mouth.

the note

hadn'l

of the opened

Laughing it off

ON top of all this, we have

Sir Peter Bennett, Parlia- mentary Secretary of the Ministry of Labour, caying. "Thio coming Budget will hurt in all more than anything has

But I have H-exts by the hurt so fcr."

hegge

ECOTO

Heggs and heggs and

calore,"

That is to say, all but iwo of -myself and embody (wa will call him Mr X) who has and published the following appeal.

in The Times pesonal column:

Tho, housewife frowned

said "I see You're going to 'ave game

with me

А

But that's П game that two

can play

You 'ave no heggs? Ho K, Ho..

K."

"Ho K yourself,"

the grocer

said,

"I'm saying If it strikes

me

dead

have

no

kega

But all the

eggs."

heggs I 'ave

same I ave no

in

Lane Cranford's THE BUDGET MAN

LANE, CRAWFORD

SCHERING AG BERLIN

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IN ENDING COUGHS

A LITTLE CAMPBELLS

GOES A LONG WAY

You'll find that Campbell's Cough Syrup givOD · you rollol with the first dose.."

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CAMPBELL'S

Books

CHERRY COUGH SYRUP

AT HOME

By Kenneth

R

Mare-Scott

London,

AB Butler --- every- "It's rather n tight fit one calls him Rab, in this little house when including his wife the boys come to put up 11 nossesses much of We

bed in the solid nature of his the study, and sometimes Cornish ancestors, the Ken- in the drawing room," she dalls.

says.

'I remember once being led

The honte In Smith Square, into the dining room at Westminster, is charming, ob- Stanstead Hall, his Essex viously lived in and relaxed In. home, Elizabethan in style The eggshell blue walls of the a well-managed farm in drawing :oem are, us one would fuct-

and being shown a expect, adored with priceless and femiliar paintings, The family portrait of one of the

chairs, sofa, Kendalls. "That's one

of satin-upholstere

A my Cornish ancestors," said cushions aff spell confort.

Rab Butler with quiet Portable Vitor wireless rests on pride.

a table beside books, an ash tray, a pair of spectacles. The ground Aco: rcoms are oak pannelled,

If he had not married Courtauld, he might well and the small library surrounded

reference books, parlia have sought to represent a with Cornish seat in Parliament, mentary reperts, and a row As it happened, he married two of novels, French and Italian the only daughter of

the included.

late Sam Courtauld, head of

11

or

SCHOLARLY famous Essex family, whose name will long be

remembered. Not only was

the

Richard Auston Butler

L

Heggs, and

"Jokes, anecdcles for all e- cavlona requited. A prolific source would be welcomed and reinumerated."

cur

+ A

Mr X and

I are

going to loughi

Krough tho Budget, higher LaxeG, shorter rations, and gloomy talk about. offensive and defensive missiles.

If he is willing to pay, we

gother, and I shall start on him "You should be on the music straight away over the first

"It seems to me," the house- shall have a weekly lunch to-

wife bawis,

'alls

I hask for heggs, you 'ave no

heggs

But you've ggs, and eggs in

kegs."

"I'm telling you," the grocer

bege,

“Without a lle or pulling legs Though you can stuft yourself

with heggs

I ave no flippin' cggs in kegs."

The housewife vaid "You

ucy elot, It's time that you were taught

what's what

Hi only husked for one, small

hegg."

fro

Go to 'ell," the said,

Nerve war

cocktail.

"Mary Rose

eat on a pin," I shall say, winking to

Warn him a joke is coming.

"What happened then?"_____Mr X will ask eagerly.

"Mary "rose," I shall say, throwing the Eng away with perfect Uming.

Before he has wiped the tears from his eyes I shall ask. "Why did the sausage roll, Mr Xou

"You'll be the death of me,

will soy. grocer Mr Gubbins," he

"Why?"

"Because it aw the appic Jurnover."

-"When the defensive gulded: misrile, has thus beaten the t'unronte

bember, it Will Pill have on even more formidable tea to conquer — the offensive dong-range gulded missile." Lent--General II. G, Marlin discuring tho Army's Dow

weapons.

UT In another way, It means

ρυτ

that one day the sky may be filled with defensivo guided missiles chasing offensive guided missiles..

T ho wen't buy another cocktail after that, we shall go straight into lunch: While he is spluttering into his soup I shall whip in the next one.

"Why are you never hungry in the desert, Mr X?"

"Never hungry -in. the desert?" he will repeas, trying

With so many swords of to work it cut. Damocles hanging over the

battered but unbowed heads

"Because of the sandwiches

of our people, it is not sure there," prising that some of them are

"But there are no sandwiches In the desert," he will say foolishly.

"Sand-which-is-there" I shall

reply. "Wake up, Mr X.”

He will probably sulk for a bit, but at the end of the lunch,

| showing signs at'irritation.

Brigadier Mackessa, Conser- vative Whip. ruffled Mr Her- Parliament he bore most of the has a herd of pedigree Kerry bert Morrison's quilt after an burden of the India Bill; his cows and much woodland, He is nouncing a Government majori Education Act Is

Tuol and delighted that his eldest only on a vote of censure.

enthusiasm and is branch of our present system, shares his

There was also the case of TM sure you preter the coun- and as a back roem boy' he has about to take up farming.

Mr John Kirkby, a bearded 80- when we are choosing a sweet, he a great industrialist, but I to London, I remarked, done much to put into words the

Conservative philosophy

I shall ask, with that dead-pan and

A Btting end to this picture of year-old pensioner, who, for 50 ace all the best comedians use he gave much of his wealth remembering the impressive policy of today. People say that the Chancellor and his home is years, had remained unruffled to founding the Courtauld house and beautiful grounds of he is the brains behind the party. Mrs Butler's remark on graver when cafs called "Beaver" and for the pay-off line:

Issues. "I think Rab feels that, "Bap" after him in the street, Institute where connoisseurs Stanstead Hall.

Like Mr Churchill, his chief, bad as the position is very of painting and art lovers

Then, one day last week, a "I really don't know. London Rab Butler loves painting and is bad- people will take the dis-

the might enrich their know has so much to offer-concerts talented in the use oils, comfort and tacrifice which it group of painters outside

called "Bao" ledge and indulge their ap- especially. And it is certainly specialising in landscapes. Farm must enean for us all, and work British Museum he as they have never worked at Mr Kirkby. petites in the world's heri- more proceful. I can spend a lng is another interest, and tage of painting and kindred whole day here, a peaceful day has his own farm in Gloucester- before, all will be well. And in in my own home. Never does shire, where he indulges in time, there is no reason why we friendly rivalry, with his wife's should not be on top of all our that happen at Stanstead!"

efforts at Stanstead, The farm troubles."

arts.

HIS

NO FRILLS

Now about Rob Butter-the man of today. He frst entered Parliament in 1929, three years after he was married. The only daughter has inherited

budget sceret farned in his his love of pictures, own home was, "He won't dare "Sam I always called to show himself in public afte: March 11. More than that, he him Sam was terribly

won't and obviously can't tell proud of his collection of TAG." paintings, many of them

of

Irritated, no doubt, by the shape of things to come, Mr Kirkby lashed out with his stick

CYRIL

RAY -TRANSLATES

A

PIECE FROM

"May I press you to a jelly,

If Mr. X doesn't algn me up at once on a long-term con- tract, I am open to uffers from the director of the BBC's. Light Programme.

(London Express Service)

PRAVDA

HITTING OUT AT THE BUREAUCRATS

stand.

a

Moscow. on instilling in the people who "Of course, Comrade Fomin! Flying Dutchman, advances by the French impression- He is no great smoker and but)

that You

must realise OME of the liveliest meet him the impression

that my under full rail, without attract- Ozerov. in personage, the ists," says Mrs Butler. "A a moderate drinker, so no clue

les there! In appearance he is:

and most

subordinates and I are achamed ing the attention of the Minis pointed range of whose activities is not

try of State Control.......... Early gallery is to be built at scholarly-as indeed he is-af

criticism of men and to be measured by the common to be parasites on the slate; we

this year a #lorm did blow-up: 1 face height, with London University to house modlum

reduction be rule, and whose mind is not for ought to be given fris that we

in. staff Wad manners here is to

ordered. But the captain of the collection, 136 in all, but which is essentially kind.

found in such important the ordinary mortal to under- needn't blush for."

the silp met the elementa it will be some years before

One who know him at his newspapers as Pravda, organ

Such a conversation could bravely, and gave the crew to the necessary building can preparatory school says, "After of the Central Committee I Özerov hud nequired the trave taken place In understand that he was above. be completed.”

all these years I can still remem-

Ministry of Build the normal law of mature, ber Rab. Everyons liked him of the Communist Party, in modesty proper to a Bolshevik, the

culled and if he looked are still.

and Road-machine on his work is because he was essentially a kind what

For three years Olga Borod- under- feuilletons. Hittle boy, helpful and

Names are soberly and sensibly, he would struction-but the head of its kina was in charge of the files.

marketing trust didn't talk that That post standing without in any way named; abuses are exposed; have spoken frankly to the wat V. M. Ozerov acted quite Olga

was abolished, but being soft,"

stayed on, and ever differently. He gave his un rained by the staff reduction; He would have said "Com- necessary job the outward and the head of the trust promoted

visible signs of a monumentni her to the rank of construction · edifice. The word "trust" has engineer in the machinery, base, a proud ring, and this one has

Mrs Sydney Butler as unusual as her name Her precise manner has charm all of its own; her naturally healthy plexion adds no

com- cosmetic

REPUTATION

and the future of the official Minister, named in a feuilleton is not one to be envied.

Here is one such recent piece E headmaster of a famous

from Pravda, only slightly- public school of which Rab is a Governor tells me very much the condensed. The cames are real same, adding. "In spite of all his names: enres, he can still find time oven now to attend our meetings."

aid to the glow of coun- try; her lively conversa- tion, devoid of all frills, sub covers her favourite

music jects, art, farming, and the Marriage Guld- ance Council, and her de

He was educated at Marl- lightful "Do you think we

borough and Pembroks College, might have some sherry, Crimbridge, where his distin- 'and two glasses- we gulshed father, Sir Montague

drink would Butler, was for many both⚫ feel' n

be, such a good idea", to Master....

years

A FEEDING TROUGH -

BV I. RYASOV,- · There are beaten tracks

brilliance bureaueratie

The greatness.

to

Irisiitution

na

ing

way,

Con-

offices as the Sofiskaya Quay F. D. Khokhlov was paid as an in Moscow (the middle of the engineer for a year, although: city, opposite the Kremlin. In he was actually a storekeeper.. these rooms dozens of people But he made, no stock returns play at being heads of depart said, I'm not a storekeeper: because, as he so impressively ments, engineers, technicians, Eecretaries and stenographers, the head of the trust has made Meetings and conferences aro me an engineer, by order." held, speeches

The Reutovsk spinning fac- made, orders. tory needed an excavator, and given.

rade Famin, our ought to be liquidated."

"Why?"" "Beenuse it is superduous to the Ministry's organisation."~/.

"I don't understand." "Let me explain, Five years ngo, when cur trust was set up It consisted of three enterprises,

in

Moscow,

and Odesso,

applied to the trust." 1. P. Lev Novosibirsk. Now we have

kin, hood of the machinery base, fixed his own price. for enterprises, at all. As you know, and they've been transferred to the

the loan of the machine. A.

also lends ma A. Khokhlov administrator chief production administration her help who came in His reputation in Parliament lá

The head of the trust is ehtnes belonging to the trust, to four thousand response to a push of the that of a conscientious, honest with a weakness for it furnishes of the Ministry."

because it drawing up bell. All seemed to fit the and scholarly worker, thorough Zouls or other, places a massive such reshuffle did take place." and mill the wind, But Ozerov the amount or quality of the

his study in the style of some

"Yes, of course; I remember.. Particularly busy,

in't

eady to tie and untle knots roubles a month, regardless of wife of a country parson in every detail. more naturally than the His capacity for work is depicting

"Well, after that reorganisa-manages all right; he makes a work done, And, so as to fool the kaspectors, Bart of the partner of a Chancellor of amazing" says his wife, "and he for a bout, and hangs notices on we only and two units left and provides others with money is booked to the name

The reorganisation. the Exchequer.

-In Moscow, A machinery base

to bad no effect on the of Ivanov, entered in the books in spite of late nights-1 am, cr round the walls enjoining and a store, offee, Ta it worth

ng "restid tractor. of the trual

The Ivenov actually knows nothin 2 am-at his desk or in con- visitors: "Don't come in without while to have a whole trust to personnel We talked about

-old cófablishment has been pre- the

sultation with his own staff and appointment. "When you've

look after those? Of course served, as well as the produce about tractors, but he is the finished Richard who re- people from overseas.”

business, go family

not; we're superflucus!

of the all-powerful Levkin. And, the all-powerful cently bečamo.

by-though the trust produces Levin, in his turn, is very engaged,

the Ministry Adam and James, still atord within his own party is to VM. Ozerov, who is making

He has innoite patience. His But all ils comed old stun trust's work could be done by ilon and technical departments #1-in-law

nothing.

dear to the dazzling Ozerov. Eton, and little Sarah, aged luminating. He has guided his own contribution to buremum “Very logical, Comrade With Ozerov'a firm hand-Atlan eight,

intricaldition through erotic techniques, He is bent Ozerov,"

atands up to it remarkably well

cast-iron inkstand on his desk,

wrestlers preparing

The

A

Ang

the tiller, the trust; like the Hence their succom

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