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THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1962,
THE NEW ERA
INTERLUDE
PROBLEMS
MR. SMITH GOES TO LENINGRAD Concluding article by Joba Smith, the British tourist in Russia
TRAILED...AND A GAME OF (RED) HIDE & SEEK
of
the correct Ministry for the journey. comparable getting the permission of Whitehall for a trip from London to Edinburgh.
My companion and I arrived Leningrad, spent very late in the night in a modern hotel fuli of uspidistras, cut velvet and
Presently a train for Oranien-
oi
wo
Ikons
plush, and set off next morning our papers-and the passengers, what happened I do not know. became rather
by car for the Imperial palaceat
Tsarskoe Selo, Pusdikio,
now renamed
We
af
a
wore
SITTING ON THE FENCE
By
THE war
Nathaniel Gubbins
between Middle-age; the birth of twins Sen her rocking on her plas. She Wobbled so that folks, of
walkers and motorista
· is almost as bitter, and primitive as the war bp tween men and women.
course
Nicknamed her "The Rock-
ing Horse."
Now, ut the age of fifty-three, She staggers like a whip at
There are two schools of thought on the question. One believes that all Reeling through the streets at motorists are devita and all
A derellet without a walkers are angels.
It's more than one can do, wd
real, To keep her on an oven
keel,
The other, believes that all motorists are Engels and di walicera devils. It depends on Indeed, it's now our fondeat
whether you are driving a cor or dodging one.
hnpa
To it her with'a gyroscope.
I am inclined to the theory
that most of them are neither Heart to heart-1
angels nor devlis, but just plajn idiota.
IRLS go on writing to me Therefore, when froming new about their troubles, and. I regulations, the obvious thing in do my best to give them ad- to invite the aid of a mental vice. Below is a heartbreaking specialist who will certify the appeal from "PUZZLED." lot, walkers and motorists, and leave the country safe for sana loaters who hate wallding and driving and merely, want to eat, sleep, drink, and lounge
about.
Stuffing a colonel
·COLONEL (1. have forgot-
A fer his name) living some
where in England has probably made himself extremely uh- popular with animal lovers by stating that stuffed cats placed in a field scare RWAY better than anything.
crows
I suppose I shall be unpopu- lar with colonel lovers if I sug gest that stuffed colonels would be even better.
In appearance. they much more frightening then cais, especially if you can get
held of those with luminous
noses.
They are also for less useful
(“I, have been engaged to a bay for even years. In all that time he has never given me a present or said a kind wind,
The last time I saw him, about two years ago, he was very rudo to my mother, and when I reminded
him
of his promise 'he flow into a violent rogo,,
:
"Since then he has left the neighbourhood, and only wrote to me once, asking for a can of ten shillings, Do you think he wants to saille down?"
not
Possibly, but certainty with you, dear.
Heart to heart-2
MOR some reason
I cannot
FOR hope to explain, a young
woman, signing herself "WOR-
than cais because. although ED." has written the follow- frequently haunted by mide, ing appeal to me: they cannot, catch them.
They cost more to keep, and are regarded as pests by al- most everybody.
The cast of stuffing a colonel is about, 210, including caviare and champagne,
Budget forecast
F
"I am very. anxious to if get married, and wonder you could help met
"I am only 4, 10ins, and a bit on the dumpy side, My hair is wiry, and my face always comes out in red patches, when I am excited.
"I am also double-jointed, and the dentist says my teeth are loose. "My boy" SAYS It would be all right i didn't, giggle and laugh- so much.
The conducted group remained
climbed ROM Moscow I de- observer could have seen that wo
not intend to get out a baum came in. We rose from below, while cided
stops hung with to go to did
military policeman entered the our bench and mingled with the fight
Lenin, Leningrad. ] got.
carriage and announced in a passengers leaving and entering latter-day the permission
The loud voice that the train was the train, but we did not board Stalin, and the members of the
to proceed into a it. Then we hid on the plat- Pallitburo, to the suminit. now about
naval bose of Kronstadt lay. In half-hearted and that all form, in a rather to forbidden zone,
those without
all the words I write each must way. When the train had gone, front, a pair of MIGE passes
we crossed the line and waited exercising over the marahes-to
year to the officials of the descend,
the right. and, the docks of on the Leningrad platform.
Inland Revenue explaining why Leningrad lay to the left. The passengers were surprised,
I shouldn't pay something towards the exit,
The result of this manoeuvre
and and shuffled
We returned in our car, in don't owe were collected was that no train entered the
in grumbling that this had never
Well, "Worried,” yours, lay a Sho had either newspapers or magazines, they happened to them on this line station from either direction for which the Russian officer's wife printed as funny articles
would not only then an hour and a quarter, and the had remained.
be were being har mest The militiaman
funnier rather difficult case. Does your before,
Sunny articles in boy mean that your teeth are came straight up to us, demanded station became gradually crowd- spotted that
ed with grumbling Russians, followed, or had been spoken to
newspapers. and magazines, less likely to drop out if you by the sleuths, since she at ance
your mouth shut For eam twice beep Instantly spoing what was afoot.
querulous and but I should also
in- what? returned quietly to their places. I imagine that we had indeed complained that it was not safe as much money and thus
enough, some meir Curiously fluffed our sleuth on to the
prefer double-jointed women, Oranienbaum train; that he had to show us things. The officer croase the national revenue,
soid that It was all nonsense,
and I should draw his atteri tion as much as possible toʻ that he had stopped it to muke a
what appears to be your out- thorough soarch, and that as a we drove off through the park. real and artificial, of Catherine E pretended not to under-
result the service had been Presently he and his wife left the Great's palace and park. Siis W
sted the militiaran (al-
is and we continued back to the dialecated,
centre of Leningrad with trenches from the German war though any cretin could have
On our return to Leningrad & still ran among the follies and done so), and by the time we
aleuths. At the station they us to our hotel. pavilions.
bad registered surprise, indigna- cer followed wore followed by tion and stubbornness, the train That night at the theatre three fellowed us on to the platform, All day we
charming
saw us safely aboard the Red couple in ordinary clothes; if had moved on. The militiaman sleuths followed us during the through the waiting crowds and
stood between us, and after ave intervals, and told we set out on foot, they fallied embarrassing minutes the train old programme-seller, who re- Arrow-Russia's crack express Though lessons in deportment ing. After all, you don't seem on foot; if we rounded
stopped-not, to our disappoint counted stories of Pavlova and which took us, at a steady thirty miles an hour in a pre-1914 the
Karsavina, not to talk to 115. heel, they plunged into. bushes: If we embarked in our ment, at Oranienbaum, but at a Kar
Our governess occupied the seat, sleeping car, back to Moscow. tiny wayside halt.
immediately behind ours." car, another car slid out of a site turning and brought them The millinman shoved us off the end we asked her if she liked after us.
the train with quite unnecessary the hallst, but she could not On ne occasion, to our de- vigour, and stood with us on the reply. light, a level crossing closet be- platform. No one else got out.
It was a curlous day, of bright, cold sun, spent amongst the ruins,
on our
*We pretended
been unable to find us aboard it: that the must be hospitable, and Not only ducks
hind us and in front of them- and the train, went on its way. Closer, closer..
but their car WAS not even
Д Aller twenty minutes or so
forced to a halt; they swerved in train appeared
red from Oranien-
At
towards the crossing-keeper's bourn to take us back the way NEXT maning we took a text box, exchanged some sign, and we had come the militiaman and asked it to drive round gates were raised in front of saw us into it and waited until the town, so that we might see the oncoming train.
If left. Five minutes later we the sights. were back at Old Peterhof.
two
miles
we
could
our
"Womens begin to waddle at the standing charm; se ot. 10."-Profound observa tion in woman's page.
toddle She had been inclined to EVER pince the child could
waddle,
Soap your thumbs, back at him cerasionally. and when
Hittle trinics with your toes.
You should certainly try to avold this giggling and laugh-
bathing this summer do a few
to have much to laugh 'et, do
Kept Hier Just
later
little you, der? straighter.
(London Express Service)
IKE'S BACK-ROOM BOYS
PLUNGED INTO GLOOM
From R. M. MacCOLL
a con-
the
The next day-after an even-
The driver instantly fell in
WASHINGTON, consulate general ini Datrolt to now the Brgen Office- have mg in a
in a cellar, during which we
Three people got out of the behind three tanks, and followed THE broad smile on the the status of a mere consulate, decided to abandon their trail- 'were
mistaken 白い Latvians,
ans, train-suriclves and the governs them for nearly
T
And, acknowledging the terrifle tional polley of silence when huge photo of General postwar boom and growth nr attacked. From now on they drank Innumerable healths to
We were astounded and through the streets, while out of Eisenhower that Pears and to our children (we impressed at this conjuring trick; the
- answer... – back Atoparty hanga the tor Pacific Northwest, she will back window were both bachelors as we ex-
contrived, after We ex how she had plained to no avail), and saw missing one train, to be on an observe our carload of sleuths from the wall of his cam will simultaneously up her con- criticistn
in sulate in Seattle to palgn getting closer and closer.
headquarters
IN JACKSON, Mississippi, our fellow-diners thrown out other coming from the opposite
mulate-general, Towards evening wa tiled to Washington has found few
Seto Mental Hospital official one by one by the police we direction at a station to which we
hire
taxi for a last drive down
worth his TRADE with Russia,
frowningly admit that they have decided to visit
among Peterhof had not bought a ticket, I cannot the Fontanka. The driver regret counterparts
he mont Leningrad's summer resort on to this day conjecture.
£25,000,000 in 1938. le down to sacked ted he was engaged, but at that political managers
a mero trickic- £29,000 in the paychiatrist in the South He the south shore of the Gult of
It was some way to the palace moment his fare, a short and backers.
first 11 months of 1031. Com was Vincent Daly, of Detroit, appeared
For they were stunned whether perhaps we might not with bla wife, and
Berne. porter: "It is so small you could diplomas from Oxford, walk her on her feet. It was a he could do for us. We told him,eral has decided not to doff his just about stuff it into an old and elsewhere and proceeded to fine day, with a fresh breeze, and he professed himself de- uniform and return to. America
establish a terrific reputation. and we stepped out with vigour lighted to drive its round. We to do any electioneering before caviar in
Alas, all the diplomas METO down a long, straight road. Our must sea the people'a park of the Republican Convention in AS HOST at a lunch in the written by Vincent himself.
July governess dwindled to a dot and rest and culture.
Congress building for a group of We set off with our sleuths
not make disappeared.
any his farming constituents, Senator NEAR MEMPHIS, Tennessee, Will we came to the behind, and soon arrived at the speeches, and he will not even Lister Hill of Alabama suggested shorin's deputies Sld Hall and
of the palace
and
by
На
Finland, We took a taxi to the of Peterhof, and we wondered stocky army oceed us what word from Paris that the gon manis one big New York me who drived with a bushel of
Baltic Station. ·
She followed
AS wo mounted the steps, a car A swung into the station yard with a face pressed at us through
Presently
He
boundary fence gardens. We saw a small hole park, through which ran a nst- appear before a Congressional that everybody should rise ane J, F. Hewillit saw a hog exhibit-
The work of winding roads.
No reply for rowdy children-with
an iron-coloured bun and wear- Ing a grey square-cut cost and skirt, sauntered up and paused immediately behind him. She
}
να
committee.
time know
( over, his just leaving. Welag of the Date went, could be had, over the Gulf of
· PRESIDENT-TRUMAN, firej reporters. with him on a person. ally conducted toun of the renovatel White House, into which the Trummms hope to move back in April
a side window. My companion joined the queue for tickets,
As he reached the head of the in the fence, We climbed officer's wife kept changing her
This news cast the back-room at a time and identify them. Ing the classle signs of adganged Eelves. All went smoothly until drunkenness, Deciding to caap. queue, a indy in her thirties through and were in the gardens. mind about which road she boys into deep gloom. They it came to the turn of fellow about a bit, the officers dis the sort of governess one would
well that rival Senator Senator George Alken of Vers covered a nearby Illicit til full wished to follow; and, every the raft, by sheer hartt plugging mont, who is renowned for his of moonshine. engage
wo turned our taxl round, the aleuths were forced to reverse back and forth across the molasty, Said he: "My name's their car into the bushes-com country, has recently been win- Alken, and I work in the
-building here.” FTER wallding over a mile to pletely disregarding the Com-ning quite a lot of ground.
munist notices which said. The senator believes in. "ring- the very far end of the ket "Keep off the grass; it is yours." ing the door bells." And they
THE ARMK reveals that one followed him as tig left the-dens, we found a little wicket window and read the tickets gse in the fence, through which Finally, the officer said; we had been counting on General out of every 100 men binlig
shoulder.
emerged. There was no must visit the stadium on the Elsenhower to do a bit of the uses an assumed name. Retson
range from wishing to shed point, from which a fine view same.
embarrassments of civilian lifo seventy yards in even Wo crossed a
SEVERAL long-memorled film to attempting to cover up And leopt pboard;
in our through the old Imperial stables Finland. We arrived at the gate,
tons have written to say that, provious dishonourable and came into the entrance wards, the
* To reach the walled at a nearby Inalde, and shouted, " Finally a bus sreived will now be a conducted tour of Finsbury Park backs it up with £$3,000,000 an increase of what she would haye, dons If It clipping from an old fan £12,100,000 over 1050, reduced had fallen through with we decided not to get out, but to we climbed aboard, and, as
the stadium,
Those luanians magazine which shows La Dayls the net income of the National himself inside it while the to: Oranienhawn--another gathered way the familiar, grey who were sitting about rose in a surp enough in a feeling life Steel Corporation to £10,173, was entertaining the Daughters summor resort, 25 miles west of car, came out of aalde street disconcerted way and began to numbor Film War The Works 000% compared with the round of the American Revolution Leningrad, containing a former and followed a hundred yards or dorm a group, but our officer in Man, and bur old friend £20,040,000 earned the your tea Added the chucklingi Imperial polacsány het so behind.
A said he could not understand the Cleange Arliss was in it. Pada before, STARRED to dent: "Mow Truman didn't think The train stopped at Old Peter We arrived at the station and need for a conducted tour ones where MS JEAN hof. After a few seconds that the sleuths parked thelb our could see pil- there was for one- SIGNA OF THE TIMESĮ
of what women can (bullt of rediga brick in English, got out, and walked towards the “Betto" Davis has worn; a chargo,
wo folt convinced our Tudor governess must have missed it.
Junt
Accordingly,
before reach
Ing the station at Old Peterhof, bus
20
on
正
And, recalling that just befor they moved out the bath tub almost fell through the floor into the drawing-room beneath it, Mr Thinsan reveals that:1
One of the albaths followed us thing suit 'lo a. flm dlready... PLATES" "last year totalling focularly asked" (Mrs. Truman
There
And a reatlerin -London's
to
THE HOLLYWOOD CENDORS it as all'amor, and wanted ta