Along the Road of Progress

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WATERS

2 A.P.4.9

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Daily Lunch $3.80 and $5.00

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THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 1951,

BIF

BO

Mind you yesterday's weather was enough to take the edge off any Festival Spirit.

London Express Service

TRUMAN SAYS: 'IF RUSSIA STARTS—'

President Truman said the United States is to push ahead with a plane mobilise quickly in case the Kremlin is reckless enough-in spite of everything-to plunge the world into a general conflict

CHAPMAN PINCHER ADDS A QUESTION:

WOULD RUSSIA START?

I

men to

- takes three

start a war. First, an army general to say "My men will fight." Second, a politician to say "We are ready to shoot." Third-and with a casting vote-a man in greasy over. alls to say "Our factories can make all the stuff you neel, and we have transport to get it where you need it."

Russia has plenty of generals and politicians. What about Stalin's third man? There is good reason, happily, to think that he would still have to say "I need more time. A big war, u long war... we are not ready for that."

OOK

EXAMPLES

"This is why I believe Russia will

try hard to avoid a reckless clash'

:

globul war any time in the gence reports show that Sovjet next ten years.

Industrial expansion since the war has been due more to fuller use of existing plant than to the building of new factories.

There #re nlo powerful reonomic fuels to convince them they could not win short war in the near future:-

a

...!

It these reporis are true how was Russia able to defeat Ger- 1 INTELLIGENCE reports many with far less industrlul conthem that the Russians strength than she has now? have not yet found any sub- stantial deposits of rich uranium The answer, is that. Hitler ore comparable to the mines innde the same fatal mistake

the Belgian Congo

and Stalin would make if he gave Canado.

the Red Army marching orders Dependence on low-grade trying to do too much with tou supplits is believed to be little. limiting

production of Germany's economy" could stomic bombs to two per nut cope with the demands of month, which is probably about Hitler's forces fighting for years one-tenth of current American on many fronts more than 1,000 output,

.

at

under-developed the figures and 2 RUSSIA'S

transport _they_are_not_so_dull_when

system could. you realise that the chances of hardly cope with the demands winning

uf an offensive u big War enn be

which would calculated

adding have to cater for counter-attacks machine long before the first ce two fronts-from East and shot is fred. There are some West, shortages that no amount of courage or fuck can out-balance,

on

For example:-

Un

There

miles from home,

L ·

MOBILITY

10 long as German $9

supplies could be maintained the Red Army was no match for the Wehrmacht.

are. The Russion acid-plants ure built to use pyrites instead of sulphur, which is temporarily scarce.

Russia is also self-sufflelent for aluminium, copper, and manganese. But Soviet stock- ples of tungsten, cobalt,

in are believed to be low.

Sitting On The Fence

By

Nathaniel Gubbins

"In America, men as old as 87 go to classes to learn the tango and rhumba,”— Gossip liem.

"The AVCIRKO age of bridegrooms in California rets higher every year. Three men over 80 were married last week" ---- News item,

OME on, grandpop.

Snap into it.

The scope of Miss Culling- ham's task and the self-sacri- fce to be cheerfully undertaken can be appreelated only when it is realised that the average traveller is obliged to drink no more than half a dozen cups of railway tea in a year.

If Miss Collingham makes It

a life's work and goes on to the bitter end without achleving noticeable

Improvement, she What's your first may have to drink a million

cups

of railway tea, hardly dis- tinguishable

from railway

name, honey? Never mind about my first name. Keep your mind on the dance,

Is that what they call a plunging neck line? Swing those hips if your

rheumatics ain't too bad,

Like the way you're swing- ing yours?

You can keep your eyes off my hips, grandpop. This is a lesson, not a firiation.

Rather have a flirtation,

You haven't paid for a flirto- tion. Come on, Stamp thos feel

I

Ger. But that hurt.

Then go and see a chiropodist,

You married?

Yeah. And widowed. Say, this is a South American rhumba, not a funeral morch. Get hot, grandpop.

I'm Hot daug. That's me. widowed, too. Three times.

Knew there was something Intal about you.

Think so?

It's the way you look at a

How are you and girl,

fixed for dough, grandpop?

I gotta million.

Why didn't you any 50

Tungsten

needed for handening the steel used in tore? tanks, and for making the armour-piercing shells. Cobalt is essential for gun barre's.

What

be-

Don't like to put all my cards On the table, once.

Russia's over- about whelming superiority in 'num-you got, bers? Does that compensate for her industrial weakness?

cards

Not at

Dollars ain't oll the

They ain't?

Russia's total population - about 200 million — just equals the combined. American und British populations. Red China's

and millions

the European satellites bang the scale down heavily in Communism's favour. But, apart from Czechoslovakia, these nations ure backed small available resources.

You got class, sugar.

And

sex appeal.

You don't say?

Certainly do.

ceremony?

When?

by

Tomorrow?

THAT GAP

are still fewer than 05,000 miles of railway in the When the Red Army finally whole of the U.S.S.R.-com- did surge forward a supply Russia's 1950 output of stee), pared with 52,000 miles in problems were small compared which limits the production of Britain and 230,000 in the U.S. with those it would eventually THE Politburo is not likely to lanks, guns, lorries, aircraft and most of it is single track. face in sustained attack

and warships, engines, about 24,000,000 tons.

on

was

the Western Powers,

The Politburo's plan to build four self-contained industrial "complexes" -the

Much of its wartime mobility

That is less than one-quarter of the combined steel produc tion of the Western Powers. It is less than America was pro- ducing in 1913.

Last year Soviet miners dug out 230 million tons of coal on which the production of ex- plosives, synthelle rubber, und rocket fuels depends.

This is only seven percent more than the British miners produced. It is less than half U.S. production, Even Stalin's 1981 target of 500 million tons barely exceeds America's pre. sent output,

fool itself on mere numbers.

These facts add up to one conclusion:-

Russia has made an astonish-

the Urals, the Moscow, and the was due to combat vehicles sup- ing recovery from the war, but

Siberian, Don

complexes is far from plied by the US, finished,

For

example, the big Urais steel towns of Magnitogorsk und Sverdlovsk get their coal from mines 1,000 miles away.

Russia has no extensive sys- tem of pipelines for distributing petrol and of us in Britain and the US:

she is still essentially a back. ward agricultural nation, fac Lease-Lend supplies to Russia ing in America and the British valued at more than £3,000 Commonwealth potential arsenals milion - also included

of overwhelming power. materials *ike

tungsten, plosives, and complete for making industrial alcohol and synthetic rubber.

raw

CX-

plants

3

RUSSIA la seriously short

of trained

*echnician-or

Russin is now self-sufficient

There for rubber, synthetic rubber plants

are

big

hear

This is no guarantee that the Communists will not manoeuvre into a politica) pusition, which will trigger off a war,

coffee, cocon, or washing-up water, each standing in a sou- cer full of hot, grey liquid and half-melted lumps of sugar.

Moreover, as she is "to cat all her meals at railway re- freshment rooms," she may, at the end of a long career, have devoured a million sandwiches of stole bread and bright pink juncheon

roll, and a million shiny buns made of processed indiarubber.

As few of us are appreciated In our own time, it is doubtful i Miss Collingham's name will uppear in the next honours ist..

But posterity will

her.

acclaim

Our grateful descendants, drinking real tea in future railway buffets, will bless her name and speak of lt in the same breath with the names of Florence Nightingale, Mrs Pankhurst, and other women who have sacrifled themselves for the benefit of humanity.

Panel life story

CCORDING to the news, ten panels have just been In- stalled in the home of Sir Duff and Lady Cooper, rear Chan- tilly, France, illustrating their

..

own life story.

When Sir Nat and Lady Gubbins read this, they agreed

that similar panels illustrating their fe story would improve the Sea Nest,

Their curly struggles together In Fleet Street might be illus trated by a spike, which, In case you didn't know, is the instrument upon which rejected news stories und columns are

impaled.

Passing over their Irreverent courtship white reporting a Cenotaph ceremony, their wed- ding in a blizzard, and birth of two daughters, panels would go straight

the

the

Into

What about_a_littic_weddin_the story of their lives between

Sults me.

And another little dance? No. You're tired, I guess. I can't have you passin out on me before the weddin.

От

will?

before I make a noo

You said it.

but you're

1040 and now,

show

Sir

The first would Nat's Home Guard boots: the next the shrapnel helmet made of cardboard Issued, with a whistle, to Lady Gubbins when she became a road Warden..

A third night illustrate the roof of the Surrey Nest blazing during an air raid while Sir Nat was discussing military strategy with the landlord of the local tavern.

The panels would be rich in detail.

Following the simple design of a ration book would be the face of an

butcher angry answering a telephone request by Lady Gubbins for offai,

Gee, honey,

swell.

"

JOWEN

Nice

W

cuppa

are not

often

praised here,

It was on this occasion that but, today, Lady G first asked the ques-

"Are

Sitting on the Fence salutes tion, later adopted by the Miss Betty Collingham, who has BBC's comedians,

been appointed oflelal Inspec- animals now born without in- tor of Refreshment Rooms and sides?" tea toster by British Railways.

Miss

But it does suggest that Slatin

will do everything to avoid a showdown

Collingham's the work until

noble on behalf of our long- tremendous gap between Soviet suffering people involves drink-

skilled mechanles, machine-tool Voronezh. Ample supplies of and Western industrial strengthsing cups of tea at every rail- showing Lady Gubbins,

operators, and engineers. The natural rubber to mix with it has been greatly reduced. educational backwardness of the are being obtained from Soviet elcetric schemes people makes rapid training tivated dandelions, generated about 80,000 million Impossible. kilowatt-hours of usable power

Those technicians

who

are

way

cul.

The U.S. has more arable land than Russia, and because of higher mechanisation produces tiles da much grain.

-London Express Service.

-on which practically every well trained are handicapped by ing from a shortage

Soviet industry is not suker- of zul- major munitions Industry, and overworked equipment. Intelli- phuric acid as British factories particularly atomle weapon manufacture, depends.

This is only 20 percent more than power-starved Britain produced. It is less than one- quarter of the power available in America.

Russia's overall oil supplies- chiefly obtained from highly vulnerable wells

round Casplan Sea - total

37,000,000 tons a year.

1012

the

about

the

station buffe! in country;

Her object is to persuade the haughty queens of the tea urn to make proper tea in proper pota and to produce a universal "ulce cuppa."

MOTHER HAS DOLLARS PLAN

Clubs to take the parents

BE

to see GI brides

to sce

not afford to come home to see them.

There would also be a panel with

bowed head, being reproved by an indignant grocer because she had asked twice in a month for bacon bones to make soup.

Sally the Cat's war effort, with 120 kittens in miniature, would decorate the next panel, followed by Sir Nat's first attack of gout after celebrating V.E. Day.

Beyond that would come Sir Nal's departure from the Sur- "The clubs will be run on a villagers saying good-bye as rey Nest with the not-so-simple non-profit basis. We ask no they worked their way steadily charity. We are reunite these families.

working to through the modest cellar...

"Emergencies such as Hiness

·

Since she arrived in America she has been contacting war brides by letter, radio appeal,

His arrival at the Sea Nest- U.S. home produced oll

and perconal approach,

And will be covered by an Atlantic in a thunderstorm,

hls exceeds 265 million tons. A

From FREDERICK COOK further 100 million tons is pro

struggles with the into, clubs, which will remit gifts, competitions and various during fuel cuts with an cast

Her intention is to form them. pool,' a money reserve raised by subsequent

elements, trying to be, funny duced by American-controlled

New York,

parents.over

the dollars to Britain to help to pay

Tumotions," companies

operating abroad.

wind blowing, for parents' visits, the Nat This doer

Include the ▶ECAUSE the majority brides..

Mrs Crocker is determined to 30,000,000 tons obtained from of the 100,000, British She and her husband are settled here with familles, have home in eight weeks' time. But The majority of the girls, start the scheme before she goe the disputed Persian :oll-fields.

visiting their dasaghter, ・ Mrs war brides in USA and Michael Yeturn, wife of a US. Liven up hope of ever seeing she is handicapped by lace of Canada "will never be able Ammy doctor, in Connecticut Crocker told me. SHORTAGES

parents again," Mra' funds. She has no dollar alloca

tion from Britain, to seo England again," Mr Mrs Crocker founded the They cannot spare the time Bertha Crocker, of Clarence Portsmouth American-Canadian or the money, When the Ame-

Radio stations have broadcast figures must make Parade, Southsea, ia waging War Brides and Relatives As-rican clubs are formed, the her story. Now she is looking of the Palliburo doubt their one-woman campaign in lation, the object of which is members will hold saice of work or someone who will lend her a

to raise funds to finance parents and organise dances and other ball for meetinger, Fa chances' pit witining along America

to bring the on visits to daughters who can events to raise money.

-—(Landon Express Revalce.):

TUOSE

the hard-headed ·, members

+

stuffing out of the furniture... Lottle, the Devil Cat, tearing

And a

final panel of Mr Bloodsucker, the income -tax collector, picking Sir Nat's pockets to pay for groundnuts, no eggs in Gambla, and free spirit for 100,000 women with Imaginary headaches,

(London:Exyreti Harutao)

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