THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, OCTOBER 11, 1940.
SHORT STORY
MIXING IT
By Edgar Wallace
a The beautiful barmaid was wip-money for nothing, Mr. Evans. iny room. But the woman's got he said again, and Mrs. Lube nod- Edgar. Wallace's fame as
ded. writer of crime thrillers has ing a wine glass, breathing upon it All you've got to do is to stand no sense of dignity."
You "Take a summons," suggested "And he called my poor dear tended to obscure his earlier to obtain a better polish, but she up an the money rolls in.
A beer-bitin' old He was listening and Evans raised know the ones that are danger- The Miller, in his best judicial grandfather reputation as a humorist,
ous, all you've got to do is to say manner."
Found So naturally bein' a wo- wrote a number of stories about his voice still louder.
book's Evans coughed.
man with feelin's, I handed him Educated Evans, the little Cock- "Travellin' as I have in all parts polite, Very sorry, my ney tipster, set amid the bustle of the uncivilise' world,
"I thought of doin' it an' told one!" Africa, full an' lay the duds!""
"It's rather low," murmured her so, an' she got the poker an
"Naturally," murmured. The and the excitement of the race- Orstralia, Wantage an' other wild course. Here is one of them. spots, I've often seen things that Educated Evans, half convinced, started waggin' it under the bed.
people don't know, such as lions, "standin' up on a race-course an' tigers, -ostridges where ave feathers phants,
get
from-kang'roos, ele-
1
G
VERY great man has his syco- EVERY B, ply because, rodie- ing their greatness, they cun- not hear too much about it, and partly because flattery
The beauteous Bella stifled produces
yawn and walked to the other largesse in some shape or form.
Educated Evans was great end of the counter man: he was the World's Cham- customer. Mr. Evans shrugged pion Prophet and Turf. Adviser, his thin shoulders, and from there which in itself is a distinction on the conversation became nor- that many a man would give his mal., head to possess. He was also a
a
scholar and an authority on all sorts of esoteric subjects.
You could never floor Evans with any kind of question, nis- torical, astronomical, biological or anatomical. He was the only man in 'Camden Town who knew what an appendix was for.
to
serve a
But she didn't get makin' a exhibition of yourself."
.
firm with her."
me-1 was
Miller.
"An' the low, cowardly, sneakin' so-and-so--excuse my language; Mr. Challinger, but I'm a woman and have got my feelin's - he gol under the bed and yelled mur- der! If I'd only got at him with
with skull-dragged him!"
my
hands. I'd
磕
Abe grew more voluble, more "What on earth did yr do? urgent as he saw his great idea demanded the astonished Aller. gaining ground.
"I got farther under the bed," "Everybody knows you by said Evans. "I beat a strategic re-
have name, Mr. Evans," he said. "Peo- treat like the far-famed Hinder- ple will simply flock round burg, the highly celebrated 'Un,
Thereupon The Miller began to An' she got frightened after a bit. I told her what I thought of speak, no longer affably, but in the ominous fashion of detective her "
"After you found that she sergeants, and what he said left couldn't, reach you with the pok- Mrs. Lube unrepentant er?" asked The Miller.
you
The truth must be told: Educat- ed Evans was seriously consider ing the possibility of mixing it." I've had my ups and I've had To tip with the one hand, and my downs," Abe went on, "but if to make a book with the other. I'd 'a had a gentleman like you It was delightfully simple and "It may have been before, or it behind me I shouldn't be, in my had been done before. And the may have been after," said the present position-good health, Mr. prospect of standing up on Ep- diplomatic Evans. "I told her Evans."
that she wasn't educated an' ought to be ashamed of herself. 'An' she began to see that she had a pretty hard nut to deal with an' got out."
Mr. Evans nodded as his beer Bowed down another man's throat..
10 He knew, but preferred not know, that Abe was once a street- corner book-maker, with a limit of cvil tenses and a strict all-in rule for He doubles, trebles and accumulators.
And Abe Slow was his most vocal artmirer. Abe was a book, meker who had fallen times owing to his honesty. used to admit this.
On
of
" I'd thieved same as (he named quite a number limited liability book-makers, and named them libellously), "I'd be walking about in my Rolls-Royce car, but, Mr. Evans, believe me or believe me not, I'd rather have my ear cut off than fiddle?”.
Even these restrictive regulations had not everted ruin in the year that Humorist won the Derby. Abe had paid out £47 10s. Od. over that race without a murmur partly because the two chief win- ners were Lew Davis, the cele- brated middle-weight, and Alf Sossino, who had done two stret- ches for hitting policemen, and partly because he was an honour- able man. This latter cause was," however, the smaller part
"Have you thought any more about that idea of mine?" asked Abe, as he wiped his mouth.
Evans had thought a great deal. That idea of Abe's was in a way rather intriguing.
Evans believed him. At that particular moment he believed anything, for he was in his polit est mood. A high stool was un- der him, the shining counter of the saloon bar of the "Blue Horse" was before him, and within ear- shot was the loveliest barmaid in. Camden Town-Miss Bella, she with the diamond ear-rings and the wristwatch..
"A man in my position-," he "Very true, very true, said began, but Abe arrested his ob- Evans, condescendingly and loud- jection eloquently. ly, "How true it is, as the cele- "You've got the capital, you brated Mikel Vally, the well- understand the game, you've got known Eyetalian artist, said, 'Hon- the information," he said. rapid esty's good servant but a bad ly. "I've got what you might call
the book-keepin' ability.
master,' which reminds me."
GRAND GIN THIS!"
"YES IT'S FINOLATER'S
AND ONLY FIVE BUCKS
A BOTTLE!
The Best of Gin
Yet compare the price!
$500 per bottle
DRY GIN
Findlater's
PARES
Its
som Downs and shouting the odds was not altogether without
allurement.
its
"I'll talk to her," said The Mil- ler, who was something of a peacemaker.
"Don't tell her I told you." Educated Evans was alarmed. "I 'don't want her comin' round here -I won't be responsible for what happens."
"To
but in tears,
She had recovered by the time returned from her grandparent lunch at the Red Lion, his nearly white beard waving in the breeze, only a couple of pint: Agartha," he protested, "an' one of them was give me."
"Now listen to me, grandfather," said his buxom descendant. "This has gone on quite long enough. How many midnights do you think you've sold to-day-ten! You've got to. rouse, yourself up, grand-- father; you've got to bustle round. I've got two Mouths to fill and Alf talks about sellin' the har- monium. Me and him and you are goin' to the races to-morrow an' you've got to hang round and Hear Something."
"Races?" gasped her aged rela- tive. "Orse races? I don't know nothing about horses. I'd get run over."
don't
"You're goin' to the Epsom races to-morrow," she said firmly. "I'm not goin' to allow that low, com- a mon potherb: to say you
know nothing about a horse ex- cept that he drinks water-that's what he said, grandfather, when he was under the bed--an' I'm goin' to take you down to-morrow. as Alf's borrowed a horse an' trap
whom?" demanded the police officer sardonically.
Mrs. Lube, the grand-daughter of Old Sam, Tipster and Ale- Eater, was a woman of great char- acter and determination. She had for a brief period enjoyed-con- siderable prosperity. as a result of her relative's successful prognosti- cation. But the return of Mr. Evans to the scene of his earlier activities had coincided with slump in Old Sain's powers as prophet. There was a great un- Ever a dreamer, he had visions easiness in the Lubian household. of а palatial establishment in Mr. Lube, her husband, was wor- Shaftesbury-avenue and a big ried and irritable. He came home rosewood office where he could sit from the Blue Peter as many smoking expensive cigars and three times a day to inquire into an' Charlie Luce, the sign-painter. drinking port wine, whilst an the sale of Old Sam's Midnight is getting some placards painted army of clerks dealt with stacks Special, a little blue card printed to put on the wagonette. Alf says of bets mainly losing ones. locally and
-He's: enjoying (until it's the only thing to do. "I'll do the clurking, you'll take Evans's return) an extensive sale a racin' man. He says you've got. the money-give me a quarter at tuppence. On the back of this to advertise. All you've got to do share in the book an pay my ex- card, and printed in very big is to sit round wearin' a top hat-- penses, that's all I ask, Mr. Evans," type, was the announcement: I got one from the rag-shop for bleaded Abe. "You'll come home Old Sam's Friends in the Train- fourpence, Alf will do the takin' " at night with your pockets full of ing stables often send him a 11th Old Sam was mollified. gold an silver.
hour tip which is sent by telegram I'll think about it," said Evans, to all clients who-act-honourable He had already decided when and send 10s, by T.M.O.
11
strife disturbed the harmonies of
Bris Villa, Bayham-mews, N.W.
It was due in the main to A Cer-
Eventually-
why not now?
Send to-day
without delay.
It must be admitted
that the
"I can sit round in a top hat all right," he said, "if it fits.".
"It's got to fit. I can put a bit. of paper under the lining," said
"and. the determined female: we'll have a few bottles of beer in the trap."
"Ah!". said Old Sam. Epsom grew. suddenly an attractive place.
•
tain Woman. To make the situa- tion perfectly clear to every read- er. there were in Camden Town latter urgent request was a blatant two Turf Prophets, one known plagiarism, being pinched from Two mornings later, all the lived wherever the Union Jack flies, the literature of Educated Evans, street in which Old Sam and the sun- never sets as the who in turn had lifted the phrases gathered to see the resplendent World's Champion; the other (this bodily from. a highly respected wagonette which was to carry him is the view of the said World's turf accountant.
to the field of victory. Champion) a miserable old man,
When The Miller called at the "Now understand this." said or a usurper; a pud-propping, un- little house where Old Sum, slept Alf, the oracle, as he doffed his educated old bounder named Sam. and had his meals, Mrs. Lube collar. "We've got to give a win-
The straw-chewing representa was on the point of leaving for ner to-day or we're out!"
"What's tive of the Criminal Investigation the pictures-the lure being those
going to win this Department whom Camden Town stupendous super-films. (then race:" asked Mrs. Lube. called The Miller, listened sym-. showing) "Only a Mother: the "I don't know. Taping's a cer- pathetically to Educated. Evans story of a Wasted Life," and "Sill. tainty, according to the papers, but "She came round to me an' ask Garters a story of Stage Life and it's no good giving short-priced horses. What we want is a sign. ed me what I meant by takin' the Intrigue." - -bread out of her children's: mouth:
I dreamt Inst night of boiled mus by givin' winners: --- Dio-meeds,
sels. is there, at horse called Boil- whật a beauty?'" -:-
cd Mussels: running?
"Long odds on" murmured Thre. Miller, "if you refer to. Dio. medes.":
Her face fell at the sight of The. Mitter.
"Cuiae in, Mr. Challinger," she Baid graciously.
Sergeant Challoner, who was accustomed to having his name "I can't help the price, retorted. mutilated by people who invare Educated Evans, briskly: That inbly chose the wrongest promin- horsa was gives to me by the ciation followed her into the over brother of the aunt of the boy furnished: parlour who does him, but it got out."-- "And what did you say to Mrs, Lube?"
“Now, Mis, Lube," he said genially, "what is all this I hear about your going to see Evans and raising a fuss?"
Mrs. Lube blinked twice.
They searched the programme, but if Boiled Mussels existed. his owner had neglected to enter him. for any event that day.
"What-about- asking Mr. Dimi- tri?" suggested Mrs Lube help- fully, and her husband-turned on her;o disapproving eye.
"I don't want no lodgers inter- fering with my business," he said "I merely told her that busin-
coldly. ess was business on that, what her
Mr. Dimitri was a shipping, grandfather did was nothin. to do As Gawd's. my Judge and if i clerk employed by an Athenian with me. She asked me if 1 drop dead this minute, an never firm, and, occupied the room next wanted to see her and her child utter another syllable. I've not: to Old: Sam. Hà. was, it must, on Fren in the workhouse an her so much as spoken an farsh wort contossed, a constant source
husband rejuiced to workin' for against the Dirty Dog!" she said, friction between husband and his livin' like a common lab'ren tremulously, "I went up to see wife, for he was young, fairly. him as one lady to another gentle- good-looking, and liad nice man- man an' all I' anid, without the ners.
I told her I didn't care. And that's the result!!
4
DRY GIN annoyance, hut like. King. Al-
ilman
CO, LTD.
WINES E
SPIRITS Dept.
•
He fingered his cheek tonderly. word of alle, an' if I die this "I thought of asking him to: The skin beneath his left eye was very minute was. 'Excuse me, come down with us," suggested: slightly swollen and very blue. Mr. Evans, but do you realise Mis. Lube,
"It she hadn't been a lady I'd what you're n doin of to a poor Her husband's eyebrows rose. have sloshed her!" said Evans, his old man that 'asn't got your 'ealth "If he goes, I stay at home," In voice trambling with pardonable and strength. I says, 'an taiting said, and Mrs. Lube, who could
the bread out of my children's be Very violent, becainé so, fred the Unready, I turned again mouth. I says, 'with your low "All right, all right,” said Alt.. An' counted six,, I wouldn't hit common tippin' and sayin' "Bin alarm, for he had, on more her back even if she'd have let Ware of spurious Imitation, I occasions than one, been forced to me. I sort of looked at her con- says, 'on' look here, I anys, I take the cover which had so well know enough about you to get you served Educated Evans. "Don't temptehus
Where were you then?" asked ten years, I says, an with that he let's have any argument." The Miller.
ups: an insults ine about my lod- And so Mr. Dhnitri, who had. Fer!"
already arranged to go by train,“ you stuprise me?" said The being a thrifty Levantine, leant.ht Millen There had been certain the opportunity of being convey
#fcant surprised, rumours;
"Under the bed," said Evans, "1. had to do somewhere so that alan't let my temper get the bot ter af me, I ordered, her out of
(Continued:on, Rada:6).