SHORT STORY
NOBBY'S REFORMATION
street
THE CHINA MAIL, FEBRUARY 16, 1940 ́
By James L. Hawkins
PASSING through a busy shopping the pubs closed and pay him a visit. shake my head. 'I can't tell you, Mr.
in one of our midland "You know where he lives, but you Voce. But I want you to say that towns I was hailed by a cheerful cry do not know where he receives the rang you up about tennish and told from a prosperous-looking individual visitors who come on business; and you I thought I might be able to get who was standing in front of a well- I'm not going to tell you that, much as the jewellery back unharmed. supplied greengrocers' establishment I trust you. It is better for you not to methods are yours, mine are mine, which was doing a rushing trade. know. I drop in unannounced-like see.'
Frankly, I was puzzled. I had known Nobby when he was irreclaim able, a born thief. He would not have stolen from his friends, but strangers he regarded as legitimate prey.
"He comes over. Puts out his hand, I 'Glad to see you,
done yourself a bit of good. I won't Nobby. You've ask any questions, but you just listen Your to what is going to be said and then you may care to talk. Just then the evening clothes bloke comes in, ar- "Yes, guv'nor, it's me, Nobby," said and old Redstone gives me a sickly "He smiles at that, for he has to do rayed all handsome-like the prosperous-looking citizen.
in clothes Then smile. "Fancy seeing you, Nobby. funny things sometimes to recover that simply stank of Savile Row. You he winked, made a gesture with his Oh, of course, you're out again. Do stolen property, things that are not know, the street where all the posh right thumb and said, "They're open," you want a stake to keep you going?' exactly approved of by stipendiary tailors sting you for your clobber. mystic words which meant that beer "I could see he was scared stiff, and magistrates. Nobby rolled the last "I was led out and told to sit quiet could be procured at those establish- he does not scare casily as a rule, so I two words around his tongue as if he in a waiting-room, given a box of ments which purvey it at certain answer, Yes and no, Mr. Redstone, but liked the sound of them, and cast a cigarettes to play with and some hours.
I want honest money. I know you languishing glance at the decanter. papers to read. There was a pretty have that Plecadilly loot and there His ever-watchful wife smiled and typist who came in now and then to is a reward for it. As it was stolen whispered, "Well, just a little one, see if I was still in the land of the when I was safely behind the walls, Nobby, seeing as you have an old living and her and I got on champion." there can be nothing against me turn- friend here." ing it in to the assessors, so you had In fact, the last I had heard of him better hand it over." was when he was sentenced to six "He was 50
cocksure that no one months imprisonment by a London dared worry him that he had stolen stipendiary magistrate on a charge property lying about all over his flat, which would not have convicted any- yes, his flat right in Mayfair, not that one with an unblemished character. dirty old house in the Commercial- Nobby's record had been so bad that road that you know of. the police had only to run him into court for him to receive as stiff a jolt as the Bench could administer.
But now, he was fat, clean and flourishing. Whatever could he be up to?
We drank in silence, then he half- whispered: "It's all right, guv'nor, I'm strictly on the up-and-up. Nice little business, all legitmate, and ain't the missus pleased!"
Mrs. Nobby was a nice little party who had been extraordinarily faithful to her erring spouse, while having no part in his anti-social activities.
"Come up and have a bit of dinner," said the reformed Nobby, "I always go home at one. The wife's sister looks after the shop. She's a rare good fun at figures and manages the boys like a real sergeant-major. I've a staff working for me now, guv'nor, an' a motor-van that takes round the goods."
I accepted the invitation and was warmly greeted by Mrs. Nobby, who gave us a rare good meal, after which my host produced cigars that really came from Havana and told me of the manner in which he was saved from the path of unrighteousness.
He told me in the vernacular, but I will endeavour to tell the story in plain English.
"You know that I got six months' prison for something I had not done, but I had been loitering near the scene of the robbery, and, with my bad character, that was enough. When I came out, I was in a raging temper. The Prisoners' Aid Society did pre- cious little to help. and the prison chaplain said that I did not deserve help. That was because I could not stand his menly-mouthed ways and had told him so."
We had just a little one. "Well, Mr. Voce produces some food which I stand badly in need of, and we chat amiable, like, when a ring comes at the door and a gent in even- ing clothes comes on the scene. He is the husband of the lady who had lost all the pretty sparklers in Piccadilly where they live.
Mrs. Nobby only smiled at this. She knew her man. In spite of his fre- quent allusions to the pulchritude of diverse females he had met while on his adventures, Nobby was that rare bird, a really faithful husband. I have noticed that a good many of the so-called professional criminal class are excellent husbands, but that has. really not got anything to do with this narrative.
"Before he could answer me, I went and picked up a pendant which was a "He goes with Voce to see the jewels lovely thing. "That's one of the articles and comes back, looking more puzzled "I was getting thirsty," continued listed as stolen,' said I, 'You had than pleased. 'Yes, they're my wife's Nobby, "and had serious thoughts of better kick through with the remain- all right,' says he, then to me, 'Where going out and knocking one back,. der or else out you go. I'm packing a did you get them, my good man?' when a nice young fellow comes into shooter this trip. I'm tired of doing "Now I hate that expression. It the waiting-room and announces, jobs that you have set up for me and may be I've an inferiority complex- "Would you mind coming with me, of getting five per cent of the pro- good word that, guv'nor-but I hate Mr. Nobby. The Manager thought ceeds.' I must have looked plenty anyone calling me his good man, I'm you might like some "refreshment." tough, for the old ape sighs and hands not a good man and I've been a Lovely words, lovely words. He over a black bag. I cover him with damned bad 'un, so that's that. Any- takes me down to a fine canteen the my shooter which I had borrowed way I start to dislike me lord in even- company has got in the basement, all from a pal. It was one of those ing clothes. I sense that somehow or painted white, and here we put the things you buy in junk shops to fire the other he's going to try to gyp me nose-bag on, starting with some bottl- blank cartridges, then I pick up the out of the reward, so I says in my best ed Bass and finishing with coffee and telephone and call up Voce, the as- society voice, 'I'm afraid I can't tell cigars, just like real toffs. sessor, whose private number I had looked up before ralding Mr. Red- stone.
you that, sir, with a sarcastic em- phasis on the 'sir.'
"The young fellow is a real good 'un. Smart as you make 'em, though "Oh, but you must.' 'Sorry I can- he's only a bit of a kid, as you might "Voce is in and answers me him- not. All 1 can say is what Mr. Voce say. It was only afterwards that I self. He knows me of old, and I tell knows already, that I had no hand in find out that he is one of the best in- him that I have just emerged from stealing the stuff.'
vestigators the company has got and Joe Girr, stir, gaol, call it what you
"The evening dress fellow looks that Scotland Yard can't teach him like, and that I had chanced on the annoyed, very annoyed, but he is much. proceeds of the Piccadilly robbery, afraid of Voce, for some reason or the "When we get back to the waiting- If he could meet me outside the block other. Then I spot a double-cross. room, the pretty typist is there. 'Will of flats where Redstone lived, I would There's something wrong with the in- you please go into Mr. Muggin's office.. hand the property over to him. He surance. Voce gets up and tells his They're waiting for you,' says she. had better bring a man along with visitor, 'I'll see you at the office in the "We enter. The blokes are all him. No, there was no trick in it. Of morning and hand this stuff over to smoking cigars, except the evening course I did not mention that I was you.' 'Can't I have it to-night?' 'Sorry, dress fellow who is smoking stinky speaking from Redstone's flat or that I must hand it over to the company gaspers, 'Gyptian or something. "The the fence lived anywhere near the first.' The evening dress fellow shoots head bloke, him who sits behind the- suggested rendezvous,”
me a dirty look, He'd have me thrown big desk and looks like a judge and Here my host broke off and reached in the river with lead on my feet a pawnbroker mixed, clears his throat for the decanter, but I shook my head," solne dark night if he got the chance, and addresses himself to me.” Here for I'm not a great hand for spirits in That was obvious.
Nobby coughed importantly. He had the daytime; and I noticed that Mrs. "Voce somes back and says quietly, found another expression that pleased Nobby looked pleased as Nobby put 'You need not worry, Nobby, you will him. back the decanter with a sigh and a get your reward all right. You had Mr. Nobby," says he, I wish look of perfectly noble resignation. better stop here the 'night though, that you would tell us here, under the "Voce promises to meet me in an There's going to be trouble over this seal of secrecy, of course, how exactly hour's time, so I keep Mr. Redstone in the morning, and you might get you retrieved the lost property. It engaged in pleasant conversation, picked up by the busies if you roam will make no difference to your re- having bidden him to be 'out' to any about. Even if I give you an advance, ward,' Nobby poured something out of a chance visitors.
you'll only go to a night-club or some "I thinks a bit, then looks him in cut-glass decanter into my glass and "When the clock reaches five min- lodging house where you'll be looking the eye. "The Good Lord help you. continued:
utes to one, I arise and bow politely for trouble. I know you of old. if you're trying to pull'anything funny "But I remembered something an to my host, having previously dis- "So I stops the night, or rather the across me, but as Mr. Voce and Mr.. old pal had told me. You know old connected several wires that might early morning, in as pretty a room as Oglewren are both here and they're Redstone, the fence?" I nodded. I be burglar-alarms, and take my de- you'd ever care to see, and in the both gentlemen known to me and know quite a number of peculiar parture.
morning a pretty girl brings me a cup respected by me, here goes,' and I tell people in Nobby's old neighbourhood. "I run down the stairs and hide of tea. Honest, if it hadn't been for them the story, not neglecting to add "Well, my pal told me that Red- myself in the shadows in a place I the missus, I'd .. " and here Nobby that I had wiped the toy pistol clear stone had given me away to the have already marked down. At one had the grace to pause. I pretended of finger-prints and thrown it away police, who were determined to get me o'clock punctually down sweeps Mr. not to notice this Inst confession, and in a dust-bin. on any charge, as they had been told Voce in his Rolls-Royce. He jumps my host continued:
"You should have seen them. Mr.. that I had got away with the Har- out, flanked by two hefty guys with. "I go down to the insurance com- Oglewren was roaring with laughter borough loot."
dials like gorillas with the tooth-ache. pany with Mr. Voce all proud and and Mr. Voce tried to keep a straight "Now that was not my job. I have "I emerge from the shadows and in pretty in his car. He'd lent me shay- face then split his sides with honest never gone in for country-house bur- my best society voice, say, 'Here you ing tackle, I'd had a real bath, not a mirth. Even Mr. Muggin, the boss of glary or robbery, and the police must are, Mr. Voice, I found these an hour, prison one, and he'd hunted me out the company, grins and reaches for have known it, but they are very and a half ago. I think you will find some old clothes. A bit on the large his handkerchief. The young bloke stupid sometimes. Anyway I had everything there."
size perhaps, but I'd never looked such who had taken me out to feed was words with Redstone about some- "'Get into the car,' says he, and a toff ever since I 'screwed' (burgled) laughing uproariously as they say in thing else and I reckoned that my drives me off to his home in Knights- that Handsworth bookmaker and the classics, while I look from one to pal was telling me the truth.
bridge, Into the study I go, followed touched four hundred nicker in ready the other. Honest, I was as serious as "Well, there I was, out of gaol with by the gorillas, and Voce undoes the cash, but I must forget about all those a judge at a hanging. You see, I felt about five bob in my pocket, and that black bag and takes over the pendant things now," and Nobby assumed a none too certain of what was going to did not go far, considering the pre- which I had wrapped up in my pocket- positively pious look that really alarm- happen. Only the evening clothes sent price of beer which is a national handkerchief. He inspects the loot ed me. It was so unnatural.
fellow looks old-fashioned-like. He'd
outrage. Hands off the people's food, most carefully: You've done a good "I go in with Mr. Vood to a very have cut my throat with pleasure. say I. Yes, I've done a lot of reading job, Nobby," says he, "They're the posh office where the high mucka- "You may depend on us that no in my time. Some of His Majesty's original gems untouched. hotels have good libraries, guv'nor.
How did mucks of the company are gathered word of this will be-mentioned out- you do it? Oh, wait a moment,' and together in the name of Mamnion and side this office,' says Mr. Muggin. "It came on dark and a scheme that he goes to the telephone, calls a num- I all see Mr. Oglewren, the West Now, if you will go downstairs with had been brewing in my head 'came ber, has a bit of a talk and then End pawnbroker, a real nice fellow, the young gentleman who brought you to a head, if you follow what I mean. comes back, diamisses, the gorillas, too. He's often dashed me a tosheroon in, you will find a cheque waiting for Redstone was so cocksure that hone of having locked up the spoil in a safe in when I've been down and out. Many you. If it is not convenient for you the mob would dare touch his goods, another room, pours me out a real a joke I've had with him. He used to to cash, we will arrange of the stuff he had fenced, that it drink, gives me a
that for smoke and once say that he
ction so you." would be easy meat. I would wait till again invites me to talk. I had to that I would not
(Continued on Rage 17)