MUTT AND JEFF
SIR, I HAVE HERE AN IDEA FOR A PENNY MACHINE THAT WILL MAKE US BOTH RICA
IF YOU PUT IT ON
THE MARKET!
DO
TELL!
WELL, WE FILL THIS MACHINE FULL OF NOTHING BUT PENNIES! WHEN A CUSTOMER PUTS A PENNY INTO THIS MACHINE TWO PENNIES
DROP OUT!
YOU MEAN A CUSTOMER GETS TWO PENNIES FOR ONE?
THAT'S CRAZY!
THAT'S RIGHT!
·HOW CAN WE MAKE ANY MONEY THAT WAY?
THE CHINA MAIL, SEPTEMBER 11, 1939
EASY! WHEN A CUSTOMER FINDS OUT HE GETS
TWO PENNIES FOR ONE
HE KEEPS PUTTING MORE PENNIES BACK IN AGAIN!
By BUD FISHER
LET ME SEO HOW -- IF A MAN PUTE IN ONE PENKY HE GETS TWO,THEN HE PUTS THOSE TWO BACK --
8x3=24
600 PENNIES 17 MĂCIUNI-145
"Love Needs A Waltz" B.B.C.
Recording
Today's Wireless
12.16 p.m.-A Short Service of Inter-
cession.
12.30 p.m.-Leslie Hutchinson at the
Piano.
Remember Me? (Warren).
Blossoms on Broadway (Rainger). All Alone In Vienna (Ilda). 12.40 p.m.-Carroll Gibbons and Hio
Boy Friends.
Now That You've Gone (Fiorito). Can't We Talk It Over (Young). Stars Fell On Alabama (Perkins). Judy (Lerner).
Foolin' Myself (Tinturin).
You're Here, You're There, You're
Everywhere (Loeb).
1 p.m.-Local Time Signal and Wea-
ther Report.
1.08 p.m.Gracie Fields in a Variety
Programme.
ZBW 355 M. (845 k.c.'s) and 31.49 M.
9.52 megacycles)
Quickstep--Wishing (De Sylva).....! Victor Silvester & his Orchestra.
I Haven't Been The Same Girl Since (Haines); Things Might Have Been So Different (Lewis)....Gra- cie Fields.
Gracie Fields Medley......Gracie
Fields.
1.30 p.m.-Reuter and Rugby Press, Weather Forecast, and Announce- ments.
1.45 p.m.-Dvorak-Quartet in E Flat Major, played by The Lener String Quartet.
Slow Fox-Trots-The Pretty Little Quaker Girl (Parr-Davies); If I Didn't Care (Lawrence)...Geraldo | 2.15 p.m.-CLOSE DOWN. & his Orchestra.
6 p.m.-"For The Children".
Nursery Rhymes.. Little Mayfair
Orchestra.
Stephen Foster Melodies: Camptown Races; Uncle Ned; Ring de Banjo
. Frank Luther and the Lyn Murray Quartet.
Winning
/CONTRACT
(By the Four Aces)
David Bruce Burnstone, Merwin D. Maier, Oswald Jacoby, Howard Schen- ken
World's leading Team-of-Four, Inventors of the system that has beaten every other system'in existence,
South, Dealer
REVEALING HIS ENTIRE HAND
inviting a Slum; (2) North had at least three clubs and probably four; (3) North had a singleton spade.
Neither side vulnerable
04
4 2
4
♡ A Q 5
O AQ 9 7 2
4 10 8 6 3
QJ 10 3
J 10 9 7
A 9 7.5 ♡ 8 6 2
4
W
◊ KJ 10 8
8 6 6
4 Q4
A K
6 2
K 8
0 4
AK JO 76
The
bidding:
South West North Fast
I
Past 10.
Pass
24
Разв 20
Pass
2NT 64
: Pass
44 Pass Рдов
Pass
Pass
North's bidding was so illuminating that South was able to perceive that his only loser would be in spades, and thus was able with certainty.
to bid the Slam
were 'Howard Both sides were
Yesterday you Schenken's partner. vulnerable and you held:
I
♡ KI I I Ο Κ Α
A 10 x II
The bidding: Schenken Jacoby You
Burnstone 14 24 Dbl. Pass 3♡
Pass
(?)
[ANSWER: "Your correct bid is three There was no play. to South's six-clubs. This is a forcing bid, showing club contract, but the bidding is both first-round control of clubs and sug- interesting and instructive. While the gesting Slam possibilities. first three
HIGH CARD VALUES
OF THE FOUR-ACES BVSTEN
FACE
bids were automatic, Score 100% for three clubs, 80% North's second-round | for four hearts (a slight underbid), 0 bid of two hearts de-for three hearts (your partner may serves some comment. now drop you short of game).
Many players would
: QUESTION NO. 202 David Bruce Burnstone is your
on a three-card suit, | partner. Both sides are vulnerable;
Teddy Bears' Picnic (Bratton)....
B.B.C. Dance Orchestra. Poor Little Angeline (Grosz)
Jay Wilbur & his Band. Story Told by Aunt Susan; At Mo- thers Knee (Lullables).....Essie Ackland (Contralto).
6.30 p.m.-Closing Local Stock Quota-
tions.
6.32 p.m.-Robinson Cleaver (Organ)
and Patricia Rossborough (Plano). The Bells of St. Mary's (Adams). Life's Great Sunset (Adams). Nola (Arnot).
The Wedding of the Painted Doll,
Intro: The Doll Dance (Both by
Brown).
6.45 p.m.-B.B.C. Recording "Love 7.48 p.m.-Dance Music by Maurice Needs A Waltz”, A Radio Operetta.
Winnick and his Orchestra. Fox-Trot-Moonburn (Carmichael). Slow Fox-Trot-A Couple Of April
Fools (Carr). Fox-Trots-A Melody
8
From The Sky (Alter); Alone Again (Woods).
Weather
p.m.-Local Time Signal, Report, and Announcements. 8.03 p.m."More Requests" - Dance
Music and Variety. Tales From The Vienna Woods (Strauss).....Miliza Korjus (So- prano) with the M.G.M. Orchestra Solo Violin:-Toscha Seidel.. A Thousand and One Nights Waltz (Strauss)......The British Sym- phony Orchestra cond: by Felix Weingartner. There'll Come A Time (Strauss); One Day When We Were Young (Strauss). Miliza Korjus (So- prano) with the M.G.M. Orchestra | Solo Violin: Toscha Seidel. Dark Eyes-A Russian Gypsy Air
..Rode and his Tziganes. Who Are We To Say? (Film: Girl of the Golden West-Romberg); Sol- diers of Fortune (Film: Girl of the
Dance And Variety Items: By Request
Golden West-Romberg).....Nel-
son Eddy (Baritone).
Slow
Fox-Trot - Poor
(Hubbell),....
his Orchestra.
Butterfly
Victor Silvester &
Someone to Care For Me
(Film:
Three Smart Girls); 11 Bacio (Ar- diti)....Deanna Durbin (Soprano). Tango Madrecita de Pompeya (Laino)....Orquesta Tipica Fran- cisco Canaro. Tangos-Confesion; La Cumparsita
Tito Schipa (Tenor).. Daniel In The Lion's Den (Granett)
.The Duncan Sisters. Fox-Trots-Ride, Tenderfoot, Ride (Whiting); Change Partners (Ber- lin) .Billy Cotton & his Band. That Old Feeling (Fain); I Can't
Give You Anything But Love - (McHugh)....Adelaide Hall (Vo- cal) with "Fats" Waller at the Organ.
Fox-Trots--Small Fry (Loesser); Is That The Way To Treat A Sweet- heart (Simon).. .Music In the Russ Morgan Manner. 9.15 p.m.-LONDON-The News. 9.45 p.m.-Orchestral.
Overture "The Bartered Bride”— Smetana..... The London Sym- phony Orchestra cond: by Bruno Walter.
9.65 p.m.--Bruckner-8ymphony No. 4 In E Major.....Sachsische Staat- skapelle cond: by Karl Boehm. 11 p.m.-CLOSE DOWN.
MY STARS!
Hollywood, where movie stars never marry simply and quietly, but alwaya elope with a flood of publicity, was stunned by the formal approach to matrimony made by Brian Aherno.
He called on the mother of young actress Joan Fontaine, and in approved Emily Post style ceremoniously asked for Joan's hand.
When Mrs. Fontaine had recovered from the shook of this unexpected Vic- torlan gesture, she said, "Yes, and I will announce the engagement Imme- diately.'
The wedding will take place this month at Saratoga, California.
Brian Aherne, who was born at King's Norton, Worcestershire, and educated in Birmingham and at Mal- vern, made his first London stage ap- pearance in 1913 In "Whore the Rain- how Ends." Miss Fontaine is a slater of flim actress Olivia de Havilland.
THE
HONG KONG
PENINSULA HOTEL;
HONG KONG HOTEL: REPULSE BAY HOTEL;'
be horrified at this bid
KING
QUEEN 1 JACK...
but North felt that by
both sides
have 40 on score.
You
first bidding hearts hold:
and mibrequently rais-.
ing “clubs," he could
definitely indicate the
fact that he held a singleton spade. Furthermore, &, game, in clubs was a practical certainty, ・ Pand:"d" Stami seemed more then likely.
After Berthin şahid of two netoSPAIN North's jump to four clubs was very illuminating. South now had the fol- "lowing" information at his disposal *(1) North had a good band that would
surely Include two Aces since he was Inc.)
✅ KQ J = I OAK III
The bidding:
Barnstone Jacoby
10
:
16. Dbl.
What do you bid? (Answer tomorrow..
Pate
(Released
The Bell Syndicate,
SHANGHAI
ASTOR HOUSE; PALAGE HOTEL.
HOTELS
LIMITED
ation with the Grand Hotel
Wagons Lita, Pelping