THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, SEPTEMBER 8, 1889-
I HAD NO OPTION...
- (Continued from Page.
"Certainly,"
," I said, grateful for the opportunity, of serving. The window. was not so obliging. It baffled me. I struggled for an -eternity.
At last the undergraduate stood up. "Let me try," he said.
In two seconds and with absurd case he had closed it. He grinned at me pleasantly. I sat down feel- ing unreasonably dejected and lit a -cigarette.
"I wonder if you'd mind not -smoking," the girl said.
*
#
*
It was an imperial command, not a request. “I'm so sorry,” I muttered, and stamped out the -cigarette.
The clergyman opened one eye and, as if talking in his sleep, said, "This is a smoking compartment, madam. I've a long journey ahead -of me and I most certainly propose to smoke during the course of it. If you have any objections there is a non-smoking compartment next door which I believe to be unoccu- his closed pled." Whereupon he
eye and went to sleep again.
The undergraduate, with a mis- -chievous look in his eye, took out his cigarette case.
"Cigarette?" he said to me.
I had to refuse, of course, but I did so regretfully, feeling very much on the wrong side of the fence.
There was an embarrassed silence for a time while blue clouds. of smoke drifted upwards.
At Crewe the girl awoke and said to me, "Would you mind getting me a cup of tea?"
"It'll probably be cold and stew- ed," I said, rather admiring my own presumption. "There's a dining car
"I just want a cup of tea,'
she cut in emphasising each word im- periously and effectively quashing any idea I may have entertained concerning the dining car.
I leaned out of the window and signalled for the boy.
The girl fumbled in her hand- bag for a long time, finally produc- ed a compact and started to powder her nose.
I paid the boy and gave her her tea. She sipped it delicately.
"There's sugar in this," she said, with a look of infinite disgust. "Didn't I say no sugar?". The tone' of her inquiry suggested that she most decidedly did say "No sugar," "I'm afraid you didn't," I said apologetically.
"Well, I can't drink this. Perhaps you'll do something with it,”
she
said, giving the cup to me.
As the train began to move out I deposited the cup under the seat.
*
*
#
The girl fingered gently the silk scarf she was wearing, drawing it more closely, around her neck. "There's a beastly. draught," she said. "I wish you'd close the win- dow."!
I looked towards the undergradų- ate hopefully. But he was sitting back, his lips pursed in a long drawn out but inaudible whistle. He just looked at me and, then moved his head slowly from side to side and raised his eyes to the roof in a pantomime of impotent fury.
The girl, N. de V. M., stared out of the window and looked like a debutante waiting in the Mall. I admired her in profile for a while, and then, slightly hypnotised by the immobility of her beauty, I fell as- leep.
an
I awoke to find a ticket collector hovering over me. I fumbled frenzi- edly. I conducted
Ineffectual exploration into thirteen pockets. Then suddenly I remembered,
and sheepishly withdrew my ticket from beneath my wrist watch.
The girl dropped hers on the floor. I picked it up and gave it to the collector. He returned half of it to me. Bemused I put the half-in my pocket and closed my eyes again.
I was recalled to reality by an angelic voice. "Would it be too much trouble for you to return me my half ticket?"
"I'm so sorry!" I muttered, and built up a fortification of newspapers around me as protection against her withering contempt.
The girl stood up and gazed at the outstretched legs of the undergradu- ates. "D'you mind?” she asked.
The undergraduate grinned and straightened out slowly and the girl swept out of the compartment.
With her went an indefinable state of tension, of restraint, of electricity which had existed while she, was present. The two schoolgirls im- mediately curled up on their seats like jack-in-the-boxes released. Their voices became shriller, less controlled.
The undergraduate made full use of the unoccupied seat to stretch his limbs luxuriously. He then lit a cigarette,. inhaling deeply, and look- ed up at the 'week-end" case mark- ed N. de V. M.
"Such a naice-girl," he grinned all round the compartment. “Such a sweet child!"
*
**
The door of the compartment flew open and the girl re-entered, thread- ing her way daintly through the
CABBAGES AND KINGS
Short Falry Story
"This is a very fast car, constable -I couldn't have been doing less than fifty."
*
*
Otherwise Socially O.K.
A young man, well-known in Philadelphia, married a girl consi- dered by his relatives to be beneath his station in life.
But he loved her and he took upon himself the task of teaching her-the- fundamentals of social behaviour. She tried very hard to learn. Then came the evening they attended their " first bridge party given by one of his exclusive friends.
He cautioned her to be very careful. She promised. They were all scated at the bridge table, when suddenly she said, in a rather loud voice, shaking her finger at the old gentleman next to her:
"Say, you old rascal, you're cheating."
Then turning quickly to her hus- band, she explained:
"Pardon me, dear, for pointing,”.
Heard in Court
Woman: There was no money in my, handbag... I carry it like cars carry spare wheels just for the look of the thing.
Counsel: Which way was the de- fendant's car facing?
Witness: In the direction in which he was travelling.
Clerk: Do you want to ask this witness any questions?
Defendant* No, My nerves wouldn't stand the lies he'd tell
Witness: This motorist was one of those who think the road is divided Into three lanes two for him, and one for the rest of the traffic.
Difficult
韩
"Now look at my mud-guard! Why don't you learn to drive? Why didn't you give me half the road?"
"I tried to madam, but it was a little difficult to discover which half you wanted.”
Another snap of the launch plc nic`of ́8t.. Margaret Mary's. Church on Saturday,
avenue of feet.
an
"I sat up to allow her an unin- terrupted passage. There was ominous tinkle as I kicked over the cup of tea which had been repos- ing under the seat and a thin brown stain trickled gently along the floor.
The girl stepped over it, resumed her seat, and looked at me and at the stream-with an expression which obviously signified that when travel- ling with fools one must endure such acts of infantile clumsiness.
We were approaching Euston. The schoolgirls, gigging, picked up their things and left the compartment. The clergyman's wife gathered to- gether her knitting and assisted her
husband out. The undergraduate followed them. I was alone with the girl.
"One
I turned to her wearily. couldn't truthfully describe you as a pleasant travelling companion, could one?". I said.
She put on her gloves and hat and, without answering, stalked out. I have never, known a woman use silence as a weapon quite so effec- tively.
I lifted down my suitcases. The green week-end case marked N. de V. M. still remained on the rack. I grabbed it and pushed it savagely under my arm, and then followed its owner off the train.
I had no option. She was my wife.
"Perhaps I'm hard to please
When I was younger
I didn't much care what I ate or drank or
smoked. But nowadays I take my pleas- ures, not sadly but seriously. I suppose you would call me faddy. I hate to be put off with second- best, no matter what it is. I won't eat a peach unless
„Į
it is English. If I order caviare it must be Beluga.
You see what I mean about whisky.
While I can obtain a whisky, as soft
and smooth as a fine liqueur, why on earth should I be "put off with anything less
than White Horse? I
admit that perhaps I am
hard to please – but mke
it from me, it pays."
WHITE HORSE
WHISKY
You can tell it blindfold!
Agents for South Char^~ jardine Matheso