Fage 14

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CARLOWITZ & CO.

4, Queen's Road C.

*You rang, Sir ?"

"How did I get on this ship P”

"This isn't a ship, Sir. This is the Hotel Magnificent."

"H'm. I see. Can't you do anything to stop it rolling ?

"Rolling, Sir? Oh -- yes, of course. I'll speak to the manager, Sir. We'll have it stopped at once.”

“:Don't go etway. Do you happen to know precisely what I'm doing in the Hotel Magnificent P. My memory isn't too good. Must have had a nasty || jar 1*

看信

Bank of China Bldg.

gentlemen. I succeeded in undressing you, Sir- but you insisted on retain- ing your silk hat. I understood it was a very valuable one, Sir. Belonged to your great-grandfather.”

"Him. Yes. I 188. Er have you got anything

that is to say

“A nice, long, cool, Rose's Lime Juice, Sir. Ice of course. Taken before, it is a valuable neutralising agent. Taken after, an excellent corrective. It is not too much to say, Sir, that in Rose's we have a new therapeutic agent to combat a condition which, alas, is —"

“Deeds fellow · —or words / Begona I Speed hence ---- returning with your sáý go. You arrived with (threchilek | life-restoring draught of Row's."

· You had several jars, Sir, if I may

EAT AT

my

Kitchen

INEXPENSIVE SATISFYING

THE CHIN

All America is reading a book that purports

A

DEATH

DOLF Hitler is dead. In fact, he vulture"; Heines. Von Arnheim and likeness to Hi was murdered. And the man the rest. They offer him the job.,truder who m

One who reigns in his place is the illegi- "For how long?" asks the petrified room.

"Until you die," re- the Fuehrer's timate son of a Bavarian chemist. Maximilien,

"Of is Herr Zeit.

His name is Maximilien Bauer and plies the unfriendly Goering. at any time now you may read that old age," adds Goebbels tactfully. he also has met death, but by his

By Mi

H

own hand. For he is the unhappiest Soon the Fuchrer himself enters of men. He likes his smoke, he has and they face each other dumbfound-

The things a taste for liquor, he has the other ed. The same height, the same voice, Germany sinc vices, too.

But all these, the nor the same sallow complexion, the same poisoned. mal pleasures of life, are barred. moustache; hair just a shade too are mere me He must maintain the ascetic re- light, but that can be dyed; eyes greatest of all putation of the poironed Fuehrer. just a little less bright, but who Adolf hims He must listen without end to the will notice the eyes? "Little Adolf" affection for tedious wranglings of Goebbels, is hired,

forbids him t Goering, Hess and the rest.

From that day forward the double gerous pasti That is the story and you may lives in the shadow of his master. He Maximilien B call it crazy if you like. Yet to-day learns how to swish his dogwhip for better thi it is sweeping the United States. A with the assured air of the Fuehrer brilliant orat little volume published by Macaulay himself. He captures the same improvements Co. with a red and black cover is swing gait. He soaks himself in the own style. selling like hot

from Cali- National Socialist gospel.

It is he wh fornia to Connecticut.

Very soon he hates Jews and Com- ver on Roehm own night of Jun Its title is "The Strange Death of munists with Herr Hitler's

He becomes the contains all fury.

perfect Nazi mutinee Adolf Hitler," and it

And lest too many

should die only if H the ingredients of successful fiction Nazi. —masked men; shooting at night, a learn the secret, he takes with him trigger, it is plentiful supply of salacious inter- always a coloured wig to hide his does the deed vals crammed in between the main episodes of the drama, and, above all else, a secret poison leaving no trace, brought from the Indians of Peru to deal out death to the tyrant of Europe.

cakes

* *

It is noon on Saturday, January 28, 1933. Maximilien Bauer arrives! in Berlin with his mistress." He takes her to the hotel and then goes off by himself for a walk. He strolls past the Chancellery.

Suddenly he is seized and carried off by three men, Within a few hours he is face to face with General von Schleicher, Chancellor of the German Government.

There has been some mistake. He is not Adolf Hitler, but Maximilien Bauer of Passau. He begs for leave to return to his mistress, but while he argues a plump officer, with a masterful but not unfriendly face, bursts into the room. It is Cap- tain Roehm, Chief of Staff of the Storm Troops.

The newcomer speaks first to Schleicher. "General," he shouts, "I have the honour, to inform you that at 11.30 last evening President von Hindenburg appointed Adolf Hitler Chancellor of the Reich."

Then his eye lights on the wret- ched prisoner. He gapes in astonish- ment and pokes him with his finger to make sure that the apparition is real.

A few hours later Maximilien Bauer is surrounded by the men who form his companions and warders to this day.

Goering, loud-mouthed and bel- ching; Goebbels. "the sick-eyed

THE MEN WHO SAID "NO" TO HITLER. diplomatic setback when his offer of non-aggress Norway, Denmark and Sweden "Germany's Nord polite, collective rejection. Seated, left to right, (Denmark) and Sandler (Sweden), and behind Mi and Minister Koht (Norway), (right),

BY ERN SHAW-

6

PROBLEMATICS B

14/0

8

19

20W/18

'No.'

SCORE 64-ALL IN

DIFFERENT WHITE BEDS ONE SINGLE,ONE DOUBLE AND ONE TREBLE;" THE NUMBERS INCREASING

BY

AS SHOWN ABOVE.

FYING THESE

24

26 26 26 USING 6a142-826

`ONLY, AND ALWAYS

THE SAME KIND IN ANY ONE LINE BUILD. ANOTHER PYRAMID, LIKE THIS TO TOTAL 156 INSTEAD OF 186 PUTTING A 6d. AT THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID. -

CUTE CROSS WORD

AUROSS

DOWN

1. FRACTION MOB 2. SIGN of AGE. 2. RUMOUR: 3.CARVED 3. SHAVING

4.ATTRACTED

DID I

D. What fraction

THAT WHEN BOTH NUME DENOMINATOR ARE ING MAKES NINE-ELEVENTHS BOTH ARE DIMINISHED E THREE-QUAR

The RACE

The

FLY

are yan

FLING

WHAT WORD IS THIS?: THE LETTERS NEED OUTLINES.

Ho

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