MUTT AND JEFF :
YOU SAY You BAGGED
A MOOSE UP IN
·MAINE?
'YEP! THE HEAD'S
HANGING IN THE LION TAMERS'
RIPPIN' BAH JOVE! RIPPING!
CLUB!
A BEAUT, EH? STRANBE
| THING ABOUT THAT BABY!
I MADE A DOUBLE-HIT
WITH ONLY
ONE SHOT!
YERI PUT A BULEET, .CLSAN THROUGH HIS
LEFT HIND FOOT AND HIS HEAD WITH ONLY ONE SHOT!
3-30
WOT? IMPOSSIBLE
THE CHINA MAIL, MAY 8, 1989.
By BUD FISHER
IMPOSSIBLE NOTHING!
THE MOOSE WAS SCRATCHING
HIS HEAD WITH HIS
HIND FOOT!
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THE DAILY SHORT STORY
No Ordinary Man
He was
A
There are some people who, day in (Eric supposed), and Eric wandered and day out, year in and year out, live around and smiled at people and made
lives. uneventful
Then there are himself generally agreeable. Present- be- Eric Keane, to ly he came to a closed door, and other people, like
cause closed doors and what lay be- whom things are always happening,
Felton hind them always intrigued him, he Eric was driving down to Point one night to attend the wedding opened it and came upon a scene that
cupid blush. all would have made of his sister, Anabel,-
being very decked out in white. tie and tails and pretty blonde girl was
who wearing a plug hat. As he left the thoroughly kissed by a virile looking
he bloke in tails and white tie, traffic of Ashmont's main street
ap glanced at his watch and discovered snarled unpleasantly when Eric Не was all peared. of his sister, Anabel.
mumbling Eric retreated hastily, he had less than forty-five minutes, to do more than fifty miles. He tred on something about how he was always blundering into things like this, and the accelerator.
He went down- rear wasn't it funny? A single light flashed in the view mirror. "Lord!" thought Eric, stairs and there was Charity, looking "whoever would have expected to find for him and looking, also, more lovely Just then an organ began a traffic cop out here in the sticks!" than ever. He rounded a curve, The light dis- playing the wedding march and every- the appeared. To the right were two stone one trooped into a large room off the posts on each side of a driveway. Eric hall and a hush descended upon slammed on his brakes, ran between place. A group of men appeared, then the posts
But the bride and her entourage. stopped. and.
throat. The motor The preacher cleared not quite quick enough. cop had seen his tail light disappear, The music stopped.A sentimental female sniffed loudly into a handker- and a moment later he arrived,
The cop was tough. He was going chief and the ceremony began. to raise the old nick with Erie, and Eric had resigned himself to it. Just then a girl appeared on the walk that ran parallel to the drive.
"Very well, officer," she said. "You may go now."
The copper shot out his chin at her. But the girl, who, Eric observed, was
be?"
his
"Don't shoot till you see the whites of her eyes," Eric whispered to Char- ity.
"Don't be silly. I'm not going to
"It's shoot her," said Charity. old-fashioned."
too
"If there's anyone here who objects etc., etc.," intoned the preacher, “Let
By Richard Hill Wilkinson
five feet, two, of gorgeous loveliness, him now make it known etc., etc."
him. "This
"I do!" said Eric unexpectedly and is
at was way ahead of
Everyone glared Unless dramatically. private property, you know, you have a warrant for this man's him and the preached wanted to know arrest I'll have to have you reprimand. what his objections were. "Well," said ed for trespassing. Which shali it Eric, "I don't think the groom should go around necking blondes on his wed- ding day. Besides, I have every rea son to believe he's marrying her for her money. So there!"
but it The last was guesswork, sounded good and had a noble effect. The groom made a dive at Eric and Eric lambasted him a good one and women screamed and the wedding was
The copper swallowed his pride, in- dignation and anger. Then he parted.
de-
the "Thanks a lot," said Eric to
Can I girl. "You saved my life. escort you back to your house?" He had noticed a house through the trees that was blazing with lights.
the
same.
and
"I don't live there," said the girl, "I turned into a riot. After it was over
Charity caressed Eric's wounds don't live anywhere around here." She explained that she had decided it was bit her lip. "Will you do me a favour?" O.K., for her man to marry the other Eric hesitated. As has been men- woman, because she had fallen in love tioned, he was a man to whom things with someone else, but he was a hero.
took were always happening and nothing just
It
Eric shocked him. But there was Annabel's five minutes to discover that the some- wedding.
one else was himself, which made him "The officer will nab you the minute happy, as he had fallen in love with you step off this property," the girl her too. pointed out, reading his thoughts.
Oh, things happen to that guy Eric "By golly, you're right," said Eric. Keane. They did that night. The cop "What is the favour?"
was waiting for him outside and ar "My name is Charity Damon," said rested him and Charity, and even after the girl. "The man I love is being he got them locked up he thought they married up in that house to a perfect were nuts because they seemed hussy. I want to stop the show, but happy about something!
30
they won't let me in unless. I have a Copyright, 1989, By The Associat- male escort in evening clothes who ed Newspapers.) has an invitation.
any- Have you
thing that looks like a wedding invita- tion?"
"Naturally," said Eric,
who
had
a
"I
once been asked whether he had pork chop in his pocket, and did. have a perfectly good wedding invita tion" And he produced the one. An nabel had sent him.
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The gorilla-like footman who guard ed the front door of the establish mont glared at thom suspiciously, but Eric flashed Annabel's invitation. un-" der his nose and thon restored it to his pocket with a gesture that madeing the derm cause of Asthma; also puri- the gorilla wish ho was back in his tronical elements.
The wedding, it seemed, was not scheduled to get going for twenty min utes, so, Charity hurried off to the ladies' room to load the gun with * he intended to shoot the hussy
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