MUTT AND JEFF
BOY, ARE YOU DUMB! SUCH
IGNORANCE IS REFRESHING! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
A NIGHTMARE 15!
WELL
WHAT
16 IT?
DO YOU
KNOW?)
IF I TELL YOU THEN YOU'LL KNOW AND I
KNOW YOU DON'T
KNOW!
M-9
I DO so!
(CERTAINLY, I KNOW!
ANYBODY KNOWS
WHAT A NIGHTMARE IS!
WELL
WHAT
18IT?
I DO, TOO!
WELL, WHAT
IS IT?
THE CHINA MAIL, DECEMBER 14, 1988
WHY SHOULD
I TELL YOU?
DON'T STALL! DON'T STALL! IF YOU KNOW, WHAT IS IT?
By BUD FISHER
LADIES'
CORNER
BY HORTENSE DEBRIS
MAYBE YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF!
IT'S A MILKMAN'S HORSE!
HORTENSE
Fisher
|DEAR MISS DEBRIS:
WHEN WE WERD FIRST MARRIED MY HUSBAND WAS HANDSOME AND SMOOTH-SHAVEN —| | NOW HE HAS GROWN A BEARD, WE LOVE EACH OTHER DEARLY BUT NOW WHEN I KISS HIM IT TICKLES. WHAT SHALL I DO?
MRS. MUGGPUSS DEAR MRS, MUSSPUES KISS HIM THROUGH A DEANSHOOTER HORTENSE
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THE DAILY SHORT STORY
CRACKERS ARE SMART
YOUNG Tom Sloan wasn't sure that office when Tom reached there. He sat he was going to like his new job. around for awhile, then he went over He'd heard too many disconcerting. to the court house, found Judge Cal- stories about the Florida crackers, houn and told him he wanted a war- He'd heard, for example, that they rant for Bije Dearborn's arrest. hated law officers, especially game The judge looked at him, started to wardens. It seems that they resented say something, then being told when and where they could shoot game, because this part of Florida was a wilderness and because they had always lived in it and had come to regard it as their own.
Still, the laws of the country must be obeyed, and young Tom was com- missioned with the responsibility of enforcing them.
filled out the papers. "You better have a talk with Carstairs before you serve this," he said.
"Why?" Tom wanted to know. Judge Calhoun shook his head. don't know. It looks too easy. kers are smart."
"I
Crac-
Tom walked back to the office deep in thought. He didn't know whether to wait for Carstairs or not. After all, His pulse quickened a little when he everything looked dead open and shut stepped into the wagon road and held to him. He wanted to make an im- up his hand. The ancient touring car pression. Still, he was new at the came to a rattling halt. The man be- business. He couldn't afford to make hind the wheel thrust out his head in- mistakes. quiringly. He was bearded and there
In the end he decided to take a was no friendliness in h's beady black chance. He left word with the girl at the the office and started back for Tom stepped up close to
car. swamp. He hadn't gone a mile before "Sorry to stop you, but there has been he heard a car coming from behind, a lot of unlawful shooting of game sounding its horn. He pulled up and It was Carstairs, looking around here lately. I'll have to search waited.
alarmed.
eyes.
your car.""
the
The bearded man's eyes grew nar- "Sadie told me what you were up row. Tom saw then that a shotgun to," he said. "You shoulda waited for
By Richard Hill Wilkinson
lay across his lap and that the twin barrels were aimed negligently at his head. "You got a search warrant?"
Tam blinked. "Search warrant? What for?”
The
"To search my car, sonny?" bearded man's hand dropped carelessly to the breech of the shotgun.
"Why, no. I don't need one. game warden-"
I'm a
"Sonny, you ain't gonna search my car without no warrant, You git me?"
me. A young squirt like yourself can't outsmart crackers."
"I'm not trying to. The case is dead open and 'shut,"
That warrant's Bije Dearborn, ain't it?"
"No it ain't.
for
"Yes. I saw the deer in his car." "No you didn't. That wasn't Bije.
Brakes. I see Bije over in the couldn't a' been in that car."
He
Tom's eyes widened. "Then--who was it?"
Carstairs shrugged. "Your guess is
Tom hesitated. He wasn't sure what as good as mine. Most likely some- his rights were under the circum- body wanted to see you lose your job. stances. He glanced into the tonneau. Bije is tough as a nut. You try to "What's under that tarpaulin?" he arrest him for something he didn't do an' most likely he'd cuff you around "A couple of deer. I shot 'em. So some, then sue the state for false ar- what?" The bearded man's tone drip- the number of the car you saw them
"You Carstairs paused.
get ped with sarcasm and challenge.
asked.
rest."
They'd
Tow blinked again. He didn't want two deer in?" to make any false moves. That would Tom suddenly felt foolish. mean the end of his new job. He need played him for a sucker all right. It ed that job. Still, it looked to him as had never occurred to him to take the though he had this gent dead to rights, car's number. He had been too con- said Catching him red-handed like this cerned with what the man had
Crackers were smart ought to make an impression on Car- about a warrant. stairs, the district warden, especially all right. He looked at Carstairs. The since it was his first day out.
warden was grinning.
"Sorry," Tom said crisply, "I'll have to take you back with me."
"
"You ain't gonna take me back with you, sonny. Not without no warrant." Suddenly the bearded man reached out
"Saved your neck this time. You're lucky. Hereafter, better talk with me. first. Crackers are smart.”
..
"Yeah," Tom agreed. "Crackers are` smart."
and tapped Tom on the chest. "Listen, (Copyright, 1938, By The Associated
sonny, my name's Bije Dearborn, see?! Newspapers.)
I live down the road a piece. You canı
go back and 'summon me into cou't, if] Nestle's Milk Products (China) Ltd:
generously donated to the you want, but you ain't takin' me in has
"B.F.R.D.C." 20 cases (1,920 tins) now, see?"
Tom thought this over. It seemed "Eagle" Sweetened Condensed Milk logical. It seemed sensible. After all,] (value HK$450.00). ho didn't have a warrant. Bije's right As this Fund does not itself under- has hand was still resting on the breech take any actual relief work it of his gun.
sent on this kind gift to the Hong Kong Emergency Refugee Council.
"All right," he said. "But you won't
get away with this, understand?"
In view of the large number of re- All the way back to Rumney, Tom fugco children to be cared for, this had an uncomfortable feeling he was spontaneous gift by the Nestle's Milk being tricked. Ho couldn't figure out Products (China) Ltd. is all the more how. He knew the crackers had a re-appreciated, and the Hon. Secretary of putation for cunning and smartness. this Fund desires publicly to thank the
Warden Carstairs wasn't in thel Company for its generous gift.