CABBAGES AND KINGS
Service With A Smile
Diner: "I can't eat this soup.' Waiter: "Sorry, sir, I'll call the manager."
Diner: "Mr. Manager, I can't eat this soup."
"
Manager: "I'll call the cher." Diner: "Mr. Chef, I can't eat this soup.
Chef: "What's wrong with it?" Diner: "Nothing, I haven't a. spoon.
A dean thinks many of the boys and girls come to college far too young. Not in that last campus musical play we saw.
In the American political-cam- paign this year, the Republicans. have comfortable position as spec- tators. They just sit around hop- ing that the right kind of Demo- crats will beat the wrong ones.
THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, NOVEMBER 18, 1938
Second Nature ·
Two friend sat on the sea sands at Long Beach watching the bathers. There was one among the latter who won their admiration by his expertness.
This person looked like an In- dian. He dived beautifully and swam like a swan. But where was at he particularly shone treading water. Holding his head and shoulders above the surface he literally walked back and forth through the surf..
"Wonder, isn't he?" stated the first spectator.
"It doesn't surprise me," said the second. "He's only doing what you'd expect him to do. He used to be a letter carrier in Venice."
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If the elbows are solidly plant- ed on the table, a quarter of a watermelon
be a balanced meal.
can
Obeying Orders
During Fleet exercises, a small floating object passed one of the battleships, and the officer of the watch asked the lookout what it
was.
of wood, sir,"
"Only a piece came the reply.
"What!" roared the officer. "Only a piece of wood! How do you know there isn't a submar- ine under it? Don't you know your duty yet? You're there to re- port everything you see, not to think!"
A short time passed and then. the look-out hailed the officer.
"Nine seagulls passing over- head in formation," he shouted.
Movie-goers find it possible to see over the new miniature. mil- linery with ease. In fairness to the sex it should be explained that
this is unintentional.
گلاره
Chan Tak-fal, the South China cèntre-forward, dashes in between the Eastern backs in last week-end's match.
"What," asks a noonday ora- tor, "is more genuinely satisfying tham a tie between father and son?" Two ties-if father wishes to be completely dressed.
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Hands Off
Roberts was sorely puzzled by the following question asked in an arithmetic examination: "If one horse can run one mile in a minute and a half, and another horse can do the same distance in two minutes, how far would the first horse be ahead if they ran a race of two miles at their respec- tive speeds?"
He thought for a moment, and then he saw a way out.
"I regret to say, sir," he wrote, "that it is against my principles to have anything to do with horse racing in any form. . .
He passed.
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Wonder what would happen if all the world put in as much time, money and effort into preparing for peace.
One gets the impression that a certain Franklin D. Roosevelt is running for Congress in all the districts.
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A new lipstick makes a black mark which gradually turns bright red-like many an attrac tive economic dream, when re- duced to bookkeeping.
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that' A news-magazine states Americans do not pay their tradesmen's bills so promptly as In times past. They are not the early settlers their ancestors used to be.
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