MUTT AND JEFF
FELLOW. CITIZENS, I WILL SPEAK TO YOU TONIGHT ON FARM RELIEF! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT I'LL SPEAK
ON IT ANYWAY -
IN MY TRAVEL THROUGH RURAL DISTRICTS I INTERVIEWED OVER THREE HUNDRED COWS PERSONALLY-
AND WHAT DID I FIND?
OUT OF THOSE 300 COWS, FELLOW CITIZENS, ONLY SIX WERE CONTENTED!: IS THAT THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS?
I ASK YOU--
THE CHIN
NOVEMBER 11, 1988.
** ́`· By BUD FISHER
CLAP CLAP
IF I'M
WRONG. SUE ME!
HORTENSE DEBRIS
NO! COWS CANTA LIVE ON NOTHING! THEY HAVE FAMILIES TO SUPPORT! THE FARM ANIMALS MUST BE GIVEN A LIVING
WAGE!
CLAP
CLAP
10-7
Dewey Britain Right Amarend
Trade Suk Tag U. 3. Pys Offike.
CLAP
HORTENSE
CLAP!
HEY, GALS-
A MARRIAGE CEREMONY CAN
BE PERFORMED BY ANY THIRD
PERSON!
CLAP
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THE
DAILY SHORT STORY
FLING OF ADVENTURE
CAL DEARBORN
Was seventeen The man at whom it was aimed re- when he disobeyed his father's orders covered from his surprise, swore and and rode dcross the International line jabbed out with his fist. His bunched into the Mexican town of Santa Playa. knuckles caught Cal on the point of Cal's father, Jonas Dearborn, owner the jaw and sent him reeling.. of the great JD cattle out-fit, had re- stumbled backward, crashed to the peatedly warned the boy to keep clear floor, and passed out. of Santa Playa, Jonas, a veteran of
He
the school of hard knocks, wanted his When he returned to consciousness only son to go east to college. He he was sitting at a table. His head wanted him to be different from the was aching, but his mind was clearer. cowboys who worked on the ranch and A man sitting across the table pushed caroused in the frontier towns of a a glass of whiskey toward him.
| Saturday night.
the
"Swill this down, kid. You'll need it. Shank Lathrop's coming back.”
Cal stared dully. The smell of the whiskey sickened him. "Who's Shank Lathrop?" he muttered thickly.
Top
And because Cal knew his father wanted him to be these things his cur- iosity was excited. After all, he was only a boy with red blood in his veins, and he wanted a fling at the sort of
"He's the guy you swung at. life that the cow-hands enjoyed and hand for the Circle Y. Kind of an talked about evenings down at
ornery chap. You insulted him plen- bunk house.
ty. He's coming back when you're sobered up to finish what he started.”
A curious prickling sensation through Cal's blood. He didn't re- Santa Playa's main street boasted member insulting Lathrop, but he un- five saloons, a hotel and a general derstood what was expected of him. store. It wasn't much to look at, but In the code of these hard-faced men Cal knew that when darkness wiped he had only one alternative: To engage out its raw, harsh lines things would in battle with Shank Lathrop, and beat
So he slipped away one afternoon and rode across the border.
i
By Karl Garyson.
ran
happen here that would cause the him to the draw. Cal began to wish blood to run hot in his veins.
he were safely at home. He wonder- He had ridden far and he was hun-ed what his chances were of getting gry, so first he visited the hotel res- out: before Lathrop returned. taurant and ordered himself a meal.
By the time he had finished, twilight He got unsteadily to his feet-just had come. Already lights were up in as the twin doors swung inward and the saloons.
Shank Lathrop entered.
paces
Cal sauntered across to the nearest thrust forward, hands swinging stiffly Lathrop swaggered toward him, jaw and entered. The place, was dimly
at his side. He stopped five lighted. A half dozen rough-looking men were at the bar,
away. Others were grouped around a table where card" Come out of it, did yuh, yuh little players studied their poker hands with rat. 0. K. Go for your gun!" stony expressions.
There was a moment in which Cal Cal swaggered a little as he moved he squared his shoulders. He'd got- thought he'd burst out crying. Then to the bar. For the first time in his ten himself into this, he'd do the best life he was on his own, unrestrained. he could and take his medicine. He had never tasted whiskey in his He made, a; semblance: of crouching, life, and he decided it was time he tried the stuff. It pleased him that as he'd read gun fighters always did, the bar tender was casual and indiffer and reached for his six-shooter. There ent in filling his order. He was glad was a blinding roar. Burned powder that no one chanced to be looking his and smoke filled Cal's nose. He felt way when he tossed off his first drink, wise, struck a chair and fell over it to a tug at his arm. He. staggered side- for the stuff was bitter and made him gasp.
•
the floor.
Dimply he heard a harsh laugh, the Presently the feeling passed. He sound of receding footsteps. Someone ordered another drink. He understood helped him to his feat. He knew his that it took four or five drinks under shirt had been ripped away and a cloth bound around his arm. Then he a man's belt to get him feeling right.
fainted.
Cal was tasting his third straight When again he opened his eyes he whiskey when the two hard-looking was lying in his bed at home, Martha, men came in and lined up next to his father's housekeeper, was moving him. For a moment he paid no atten, about the room. He sighed contented- tion. He was too occupied keeping ly, happily... He'd had his fun and ex- himself from falling by clutching the citoment. Now he was ready to go to bar, trying to adjust his senses.
Then he heard his father's name mentioned.
college.c
In the next room Jónás Dearborn was handing Shank Lathrop a $20 bill."Ta rockon," the old man said, "that'll teach the kid a lesson. He needed the experience."
"That dirty louse, Joe Dearborn,' one of the men was saying, “oughbito. have his throat cut. He's cheated more ranchera out of their life earnings than "Every kid's got to have his fling?" Al Capone. Why say,”
Shank Lathrop grinned. "Well, so The speaker got no further. Cal, long, Joe. Cafe chip off the old beset by a sudden and blind rage, had blocks He didn't pull leather once. turned and swung with all the strength When he gets back from school, I'd he could muster. It was a wild blow, like to know him better.” poorly gauged because of the boy's (Copyright, 1988, By The Associated függed senses. It missed completely. Newspapers).