Page
MUTT AND JEFF
I'LL KISS YOU IF. YOU HIT ANOTHER
HOME RUN
JEFF!
OK, SWEET! THEY'RE AFRAID TO PUT IT OVER THE PLATE FOR 'ME 'CAUSE WHEN I HITS THE BALL
IT'S HIT!
STRIKE ONE!
Page
STRIKE TWO!
BALL CONE!
THE CHINA MAIL, JULY 7, 1988.
By BUD FISHER
COME
ON!
BALL TWO!
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THE DAILY SHORT STORY
TOO OLD
THE day that Homer Boylston was
Homer filed out with the others. He laid off from his job as bookkeeper answered another ad. The people were
at the Huntley Furniture store, ho
paused on hin way home to stare down nice to him. They thought he'd made at the swirling muddy waters of Swift a good salesman-strictly on commis- river, as it passed beneath the Melrose sion, of course. street bridge. Suicido bridge it was called because so many despairing peo- ple had onded their lives there.
He answered two more ads that day. The next day and the next and the next he answered more ads. It was Homer stood with his arms folded always the same: The young men atop the railing for fully five minutes. were shown preference. Every night A shudder passed through his frame. he crossed Suicide bridge, walking as He turned away with a little suppress- fast as he could, sometimes running as ed cry, covering his eyes with his hand, though a demon were on his heels.
:
Homer was thirty-five. He looked The next day was Sunday, Helen forty, because his two children and his found an ad for a bookkeeper. Appli- wife, Helen, had simultaneously passed cants must reply by mail. She sug- through a sick spell, and there had gested that Homer write. been times when he didn't know how
She stared at him. He felt contrite
he could meet doctor bills and buy food "Why?" he raged. "What good will and medicine. He had often thought it do? They want young men. I'm during the months following what thirty-five.” would happen to him and his family if- The were ever discharged.. He was
thirty-five and he looked. forty. Men and apologised. Then he sat down who were forty didn't stand much and wrote a letter. He made it chance of getting a job these days. original as possible. But all the time Youth was the lifeblood of every indus. he thought how useless it was. When try. Fresh viewpoints and new ideas they saw him, they'd tell him he was And the colleges were turning them too old. out by the hundreds.
As
He mailed the letter that night.
The thought had preyed on Homer's The next day he started out on his mind. It had become an obsession with rounds. Passing a store he saw his him. He used to wake up nights reflection in a show window. It gave thinking of it, sweating. He ased to him a start. He looked old and bent. imagine himself walking the streets, He looked fifty. He straightened up. being turned away everywhere in fa The thing to do was to feel young. vour of youth, growing older by the Feel young, act young, talk. young and minute.
people would think you were young. He increased his pace. He smiled. And now it had come. Now those His shoulders were straight when he Years had materialised and were star- entered the next office.
By Stanley Cordell
ing him squarely in the face, like a horrible but very, real nightmare.
WGS
There were three people ahead of him. Young men. Homer sat and He dreaded going home. But when in turn to be interviewed. A half- waited while each of the three went in he told Helen what had happened she hour passed. An hour. Homer shift- only, emiled and patted his cheek. ed his position. He began to feel de "You'll get another job. I know you solate again. He was a fool to stay: here. The last young man had been Homer said nothing. Her faith in longer than the others; He made matters worse. Disappointing
probably hired. her would add to his torture. He lay He rose to leave. A door opened. awake most of the night, thinking, The young man came out. He was thinking.
smiling. Homer looked toward the in- The next morning he started out head. "Sorry," he said.
terviewer. The interviewer shook his early. He called at where he thought a bookkeeper might than ever. He kept forgetting to several places, In the next week Homer aged more be wanted. None of them had an straighten his, shoulders, to be brisk, opening. He brought a newspaper and to appear interested. Despair was ran through the want ads. There were written in his eyes. Defeat. Hope- several jobs that looked good. There were people ahead of him. Most of home. When he came to Suicide lessness. On Saturday he started them young men.
"
bridge he stopped. He rested his arms
The day was spent, and he started. on the railing. He stared down into for home. To-night as always he the crossed Suicide Bridge. He hurried of others who had stood there before muddy, swirling water. He thought over it. He didn't dare stop. If he him. He wondered how long they had, were only an expert at something. If deliberated. He thought of Helen and he only had a particular line. The the children. There was insurance. city was full of bookkeepers. Anyone He was worth more to them dead than could be a bookkeeper.
alive.
The next day he looked through the Bat want ads again. He managed to reach He poised a minute. A policeman saw Slowly he olimbed up on the railing. the first office before the crowd. He him, and yelled. People stopped and sat in an outer office and waited. Em stared. Stop that kid!" shouted the ployes: began coming in. Young, all policeman. But Homer didn't hear. of them Young people with fresh Ho looked over his shoulder, and smil- ideas and new viewpoints,
od. The policeman lunged toward him,
Applicants for the job began to ap. but Homer lot go the railing and jump- pear Within an hour the place was.ed. This, he thought, with a curious Jammed. At 9:80 an inner door open-sort. of satisfaction, was one. Job he ed and man appeared. He looked wasn't too, old, to do. i apologetic. He said that he was sorry, the job, kad been filled.
(Copyright, 1988, By The Associated Newspapers.)